"S-sssure." Grabbing Laura's arm for support, the stripper pulled herself to her feet. She teetered for a moment before gripping her roommate's arm with both hands. "Damn, guess I drank more than I thought."

"More like smoked, I believe," Laura muttered. "Jenny, you got her on that side?"

"I've got her. Let's go."

"I can walk," Crystal protested, not wanting to be helped out of the bar.

"Walk right into a wall, you mean." Laura let her agitation show through in her voice. Her grip never lessened as she led the trio to the door. "I can see this was a really good experience for her, Jen." She used her hip to push open the door. "Now she has a new place to go get her drugs." "Now you know Diane wouldn't sell anyone pot."

"Sell? Did you see the way everyone acted around her today? If Crystal said she wanted some I'm sure at least a half dozen women would offer to give her some. Oh, there's something positive. Crystal learned she can seduce women into buying her drinks." Laura paused her ranting long enough to open the back door of the Thing. "I thought poor Alex Duncan was going to have an orgasm right there on the infield when Crystal took her shirt off."

"That was pretty funny, wasn't it? I'm just glad she didn't do that again on the dance floor."

"Don't try to change the subject, Jen." Together they helped the lethargic Crystal into the back seat. "How on earth is this a positive experience for her?"

"Think about what you've told me about her nightmares and the way she feels about men," Jenny said, leaning against the side of the orange car. "Do you think she's ever been able to relax this much around a group of people?"

"So in order to relax she has to get drunk?"

"Put the drinking and pot aside for a minute. Last week she wouldn't even come out of her room when you had company at the house. Today she came out to the ballfield with minimal fuss and even went to a lesbian bar. She relaxed and had fun, even before she started drinking." She looked at Crystal, who was struggling to sit up on her own. "I think I'm going to ride in the back with her."

"Good, that way you can warn me if she decides it's time to redecorate the upholstery." Laura opened the driver's door. "You are spending the night at my place, aren't you?"

"Yeah, I've had a few beers. I don't want to take the chance. Scoot over, Crystal. I'm going to ride back here with you." Laura started the Thing and exited the parking lot.

"Is Laura pissed at me again?" Crystal mumbled.

"Why would you say that?"

Shrugging her shoulders, Crystal pulled out a bent cigarette from her rumpled pack. "I dunno."

"Yes you do. Why do you think Laura would be angry with you?"

"She usually is, espec-cally when I'm drinking."

"Why did you drink so much tonight?" Jenny glanced up to see Laura taking the onramp for the highway.

"Felt like it." The little slits widened slightly. "Oooh."

"What?"

"Look at that." Crystal pointed at the lights of a Ferris Wheel off in the distance.

"Hmm, looks like the carnival is back in town. Do you always drink when you feel uncomfortable?"

"What? You think I'm an alky, Doc?"

"Do you think you're an alcoholic?"

Crystal's brow furrowed. "N-no, I don't think so. I never really thought about it. I just drink."

"Does it help?"

"Sometimes." She looked off to her right again, her eyes focusing on the carnival lights. "I haven't been to the fair since I was a little kid." She watched in silence until the lights could no longer be seen. "You trying to play shrink with me, Doc?" She turned to look at Jenny. "If I told you, you wouldn't believe me."

"If you told me something was the truth, Crystal, make no mistake about it, I would believe you."

"Yeah, shame you weren't around when I was a kid," she said bitterly. "It doesn't matter now."

"If it causes even a moment's discomfort for you, it matters now." Jenny turned in her seat to face Crystal. "One of these days all the beer and pot in the world isn't going to keep those demons at bay. What are you going to do then?"

Laura pulled the Thing into the parking space. "Think we should put the top up?"

"No, it'll be fine," Jenny said. "So do we wake her?"

"Unless you want to carry her."

"Not a chance." Jenny nudged the sleeping woman's shoulder. "Crystal, we're home."

"Hmm? Oh." She yawned and rubbed her eyes. "What time is it?"

"A little after nine."

Laura groaned as she got out the car and stretched. "I feel like I've been run over by a truck."

"You were," Jenny said. "Remember, you, Dawn, home plate?"

"I don't know about you two but I'm going in, peeing, and going to bed," Crystal said, leaning against the car. She looked at the front door blearily, mentally calculating her chances of successfully navigating the walk. Taking a step forward, she felt the ground beneath her shift and all sense of balance disappear.

"Grab her!" Laura yelled, catching Crystal's arm to keep her from falling. Jenny quickly took position on the other side and together they walked the drunken woman into the house.

Despite being too drunk to walk on her own, Crystal was in a good mood and quite agreeable to the therapist's suggestion of going to sleep. When Jenny came downstairs, she found Laura in the kitchen pouring steaming hot water into two mugs.

"I thought you might like some chamomile."

"Oh, that sounds good." Jenny kicked off her sneakers and settled herself at one end of the couch, her feet resting on the middle cushion. "I haven't had that in months."

"Probably not since the last time you spent the night." Taking up a similar position at the other end of the couch, Laura took a sip of her tea. "Where did you want to sleep tonight?"

"You mean you're asking instead of hinting?"

"Keep it up and you can sleep out in the Thing."

Jenny smirked at the empty threat. "We're too old to be playing around in the back seat anymore. Since when has there been a question about where I sleep when I'm over here?" Knowing her ex-lover all too well, she immediately guessed the problem. "Because of Crystal? Laura, I don't think she'll drop dead of shock if she found out we slept in the same bed. After all, roommates have to respect each other. Speaking of which"

"I still don't think this is going to work out, Jen. She's just too different."

"Why?"

"Aside from being a druggie?" Laura set her cup down and flexed her fingers. "Let's see she's moody as hell."

"And you never have moods? Might I remind a certain someone of fifty pages of story that disappeared forever when you let your writer's block get to you?"

"That's different," Laura defended. "I was under a lot of stress then."

"Do you think it's stressful waking up from nightmares every night?" She watched Laura fidget. "Or not knowing where you only sister is?" Jenny received a heavy sigh in reply, her point made. "So what else?"

"That damn shower curtain. Did you see it? Why on earth would anyone want a clear shower curtain? I get a great view of the toilet while I'm showering."

"Well, at least you get to admire your fuzzy seat cover."

"Ha! It doesn't occur to her put the seat down when she's done. I'm surprised she remembers to flush." She smiled at Jenny's attempt not to laugh. "I just can't figure out why she'd want a clear one."

"I don't know," Jenny said thoughtfully. "What else can you see besides the toilet?"

"Nothing. Just the sink and door." She shook her head. "Why would she want to see that?"

"Why indeed?" She leaned forward, going into what Laura affectionately referred to as her therapist mode. "Alone, naked, vulnerable. I can't imagine why she's want to be able to see the door at all times."

"So she needs to see a locked door?"

"She needs to feel safe, whatever safe means to her." Reaching out, she put her hand on Laura's knee. "Just like you feel safe when things are neat and orderly."

"I don't like the drugs, Jen. Her last apartment caught fire. She said she was sleeping. What if she set the fire during a hallucination?" "From what I've seen, she doesn't do hallucinogens. She wants to feel numb, not space out and stare at things that aren't there." "Oh yeah, that's much better," the writer scoffed. "She still has a problem with drugs."

"You have to look past the symptoms to see the real problem." Jenny said, leaning back and picking up her teacup. "People who have been severely abused will do anything they can to protect themselves, no matter how irrational it might seem to others." Seeing that Laura wasn't convinced, she tried a different approach. "Think about it this way. She grew up with an abusive father and her only comfort apparently was her sister. Think about being fourteen and having the one thing you depended on most in your life ripped away from you. Then imagine living on your own, with no support, at the age of fifteen."

"It's so hard to believe a man could be so cruel to his own daughter."

"Daughters," Jenny corrected. "And what do you think he was like after Crystal's sister ran away?" Setting the now empty cup on the stand, she twisted around until her head was lying on Laura's lap. "Is it any wonder that she never learned how to properly deal with her emotions and problems?"

"I don't think she has many friends." Laura said. "I mean, how many people would put up with her?"

"Not many," Jenny agreed. "Most would probably just write her off as a lost cause." She gave her ex-lover a meaningful look. "Just turn their backs and walk away."

"You don't play fair, you know that?" She leaned down and, brushing the light brown bangs out of her way, planted a soft kiss on Jenny's forehead. "All's fair in love, war, and trying to get you to see my side of things," Jenny said with a grin. "Now, you have any of that lavender bubble bath left?" "Yeah, there's some upstairs in the linen closet. Why, you thinking of taking a bath?"

"Right after you do."

Laura raised her left arm and sniffed. "I guess I could use one."

"Guess? After running around right field all day and then being in that smoke-filled bar a bath is a requirement unless you want to sleep on the couch tonight." She sat up and stretched, groaning as stiff muscles protested the movement. "Besides, I could use a good long soak about now."

"You go first then. I'll catch up on my email and get some writing in. Do you want the blue or red pajamas?"

"Blue. It's too hot for flannel."

"You could go with au natural, you know." Laura wiggled her eyebrows lecherously. "I wouldn't mind."

"Oh, that's subtle," Jenny said sarcastically. She put her hands on Laura's shoulders and pointed her in the direction of the stairs. "Maybe you should take a cold shower instead of a bath."

"Brrr, you're no fun."

"You just go up there and get your mind on writing instead of in the gutter."

"Yes Mother."

"Keep it up," Jenny warned playfully. "My threat to make you sleep on the couch still stands." She picked up the empty cups. "And don't think I won't."

Crystal thrashed about her bed, the blanket becoming tangled around her legs. In her dream, her father was coming closer, screaming obscenities the whole way. Feeling trapped, she struggled harder, the frantic movements finally bringing her to wakefulness. She looked about the room, momentarily disoriented. "Damn" Taking a deep breath, she rubbed her face with her hands and tugged her legs free of the blanket. Sleepy eyes barely open, she slowly got up from bed and trudged her way into the bathroom.

When she was finished, the half-awake women shut the light off and turned left, opening the door and stepping inside. Only then did she realize her mistake. Get lucky tonight, Doc? The two women were facing away from her, Jenny's arm wrapped protectively around Laura's waist. Crystal started to leave but found herself unable to tear her eyes away from the sight. I thought that only happened in the movies. She had seen a man and woman sleeping in the same bed but never had she seen two people cuddled up so close. It wasn't a case of having nowhere else to sleep, it was obvious the women wanted to be with each other. Upset by the nightmare and envious of the love Jenny and Laura shared, Crystal finally turned away and headed back to her own room.

Well this sucks. Now awake with nothing to do, Crystal looked around her room. Where is it? She kicked the blankets out of her way, turning up a boot and a sock but not the missing remote. There's probably nothing on this late anyway. She opened the vertical blinds and looked out at the night sky. The moon gave little light, barely enough to see the outline of the trees separating the complex from the lake. She retrieved her cigarettes and lighter before opening the sliding glass door and stepping out onto the balcony. Misjudging where the chair was, Crystal ran into it, the metal legs scraping against the wooden deck.