"You did, huh?"

Thomas shook his head up and down. "Yeah. And there was lots of people running around and Jessica pushed me once and I almost fell down."

"Jessica," Patty said in a gentle but disapproving voice. "What have I told you about pushing your brother?" She set the photo albums down on the coffee table and knelt down in front of her daughter. "You know better. Do you want me to take your bike away for a week?" "No Mommy, but he wouldn't get out of the way," Jessica protested.

"That's still no reason to shove him. He could have hit the sidewalk and gotten hurt." Patty shook her head and looked at her sister. "I don't know about these two sometimes. We were never like that."

"Are you kidding?" Crystal asked. "Don't you remember when you pushed me down that muddy hill?"

"You pushed me first," Patty protested. "I didn't know you'd fall down the hill."

Thomas giggled, squirming on Crystal's lap. "Mommy pushed Aunt Crystal down the hill," he said in his childish voice.

"And don't you go getting any ideas, young man," Patty said in the unmistakable mother tone. "Now both of you change into your play clothes and you can ride your bikes until dinner's ready." She pulled Thomas off Crystal's lap and pointed him in the direction of the bedrooms. "Scoot. And put on your old sneakers too. I want those kept clean for school."

"Okay Mom," he said. "Jessica, race you."

"No running," Patty said but it was too late as both children went tearing down the hall, their laughter and footsteps echoing through the home. "The twin tornadoes will be coming back out in just a minute," she said as she resumed her former seat on the couch. "I don't think either of them knows the meaning of walk."

"They're great," Crystal said, turning toward her sister. "They seem really happy."

"They are," her older sister said. "Sometimes they're a handful but Mom really helps when they get to be too much."

Crystal reached into her pocket and pulled out her cigarettes. "I still can't believe you live with her," she said, lighting one. "No way in hell I could."

"She's changed," Patty said. "She's much better now that she's not drinking." Crystal felt her sister's arm go around her shoulders. "Give her a chance, you'll see. She really misses you," she added in a lower voice.

Crystal took a long drag on her cigarette, looking over to Laura. "Damn this is hard."

"If it's too much for you," Laura began but Crystal shook her head.

"No, I can do this," she said, looking over to her sister. "I can't just accept her as a loving mother, but I'll be civil."

"She really has changed," Patty said, looking toward the hall at the sound of a door opening. "The children really love her," she added.

"Yeah," she said, understanding the unspoken message, don't be hostile in front of the kids. "I'm gonna take this outside." She held up the cigarette. "I don't want to smoke around them."

"Aunt Crystal," Jessica said as she ran down the hall. "Wanna watch me do a pop-a-wheelie with my bike?"

"Put your helmet on," Patty said. "Mrs. Catcher told me she saw you riding around without it."

"Sure," Crystal said. "I was just going to step outside anyway."

Minutes later Crystal and Patty were sitting at the round picnic table in the front yard. Laura was kneeling on the roadway, watching Jessica and Thomas riding their bikes back and forth. The sun was setting, only the upper third still visible over the tops of the neighboring mobile homes.

"So how long have you two been together?" Patty asked.

"Not long," Crystal said. "In fact, um well, last night was our first time."

"What? You're kidding." Patty playfully nudged Crystal with her shoulder. "Lucky you. But you've been living together for a while, right?" "About four months," she said, waving as Jessica rode by. "Laura's a writer. She writes lesbian mysteries. She's also a great cook," she added.

"Well, I'm glad you're happy," Patty said. "All these years I wondered where you were, how you were doing. I didn't even know if you were still alive." She shook her head. "I even thought about hiring a private detective but I never could afford it."

"I worried the same about you," Crystal said. "Funny thing is I never left the county. I got down to the city and guess I just got lost in there. I didn't tell you this on the phone but

I worked the strip clubs for a long time."

Patty lit a cigarette and stared out at the roadway where Laura and the children were. "When I first got off the bus, I thought it would be easy to find a place to live and work. Pretty stupid for a seventeen year old. I was out of money in three days."

Crystal nodded, taking a long drag on her own cigarette. She did not have to ask how her older sister had survived. There was only one way a young girl could make quick money on the streets. Still, she felt saddened at the confirmation of what she had long suspected. "I'm glad you weren't out there long," she said.

"Long enough to get pregnant with Jessica," Patty said. "Her father was just another john who didn't have a condom with him. It wasn't like I could get the pill or anything either so it was bound to happen."

"I guess I was lucky," Crystal mumbled around her cigarette. "I never got pregnant." Exhaling slowly, she watched the white line of smoke trail upward. "I was such a mess I wouldn't have been any good as a mother anyway." She nudged her chin in the direction of the bicycling children. "You seem to have done good with those two."

"Thanks," Patty said. "It's important to me to be a good mother for them."

"Giving them what we never had," Crystal said, shooting a bitter look at the kitchen window.

Patty dropped her cigarette to the ground and crushed it under her foot. "You're right about that," she said. "It took a while after he died for her to get into treatment and learn how to be a parent, even if it was too late for us. She loves those children and would do anything for them." Crystal felt the anger well within her and gripped her cigarette tightly, crushing the filter. "She used to sit at that table and do nothing while he beat the shit out of us or don't you remember that?"

"I remember," Patty said. "Believe me, I remember. But she's changed. She goes to her meetings, sees her counselor every other week and hasn't had a drink in years. It's been really hard on her not knowing what happened to you."

"I don't feel sorry for her," Crystal said. "She put us through hell and let him do even worse. You don't know what he was like after you left." She drew a hard long drag on what was left of her cigarette before tossing it to the ground. "You forgive her if you want. I'd rather have nothing to do with her." Closing her eyes, Crystal took a deep breath, willing her body to calm down, her fingers to uncurl from the fists they had become. She felt Patty's hand squeeze her shoulder.

"If you need to hate her, then do it," her older sister said. "But we've lost so many years. Isn't it time to let go of the past and move on? I don't want to lose you again, Crystal."

"You're not going to lose me," she said, lifting her head to look at Patty. "I'll work it out." Shaking her head, Crystal gave a small smile and reached for her cigarettes. "No wonder I'm in therapy, hmm?"

Patty laughed and squeezed her shoulder again. "I think everyone needs therapy."

Crystal gave a snort and lit another cigarette. "Poor Jenny. That's my therapist. It's gonna be a hell of a session when I see her Tuesday." She shook her head. "I still can't believe I'm sitting here talking to you."

"Same here," Patty said. "You're taller than I thought you'd be. You were always so much shorter than me."

"Only because you were older, but even though I was shorter I could still keep up with you, couldn't I?" Crystal asked.

"Yes you could," her sister admitted. "Those two are no different," she said, looking in the direction of the children. "Thomas is always trying to beat Jessica in whatever they do."

"Just like us," Crystal said, forcing the serious expression off her face when she saw the trio heading their way.

"Did you see my pop-a-wheelie, Aunt Crystal?"

"Yes Jessica, I did," she said, grateful for the distraction to end the conversation. "So are you any good with Monopoly?" The girl shook her head. "I've got Twiddles the Caterpillar game for the computer. I'm good at that."

"Oh, I don't think Laura has that on her computer," she said, looking at her lover.

"No, can't say that I've ever seen it," Laura said.

"Mommy, can I show Aunt Crystal and Laura my game?" Jessica asked.

"Is your room safe to enter?" Patty countered.

"I'm sure it can't be any worse that your sister's," Laura said.

"Hey." Crystal gave her a playful shove. The smile left her face when she caught movement through the kitchen window. "Come on, Jess. Show us your game," she said, reaching out for the child's hand. She did not have to look at either of them to know they saw what she had seen. I can do this, she thought to herself as she followed Jessica up the steps. To be with her only sister and the children, she could handle being in the same room as her mother, she decided. After all, I'm an adult now. What can she do to me? Still as they moved through the living room, Crystal pointedly kept her eyes averted from the kitchen.

After the children finished their dinner, they sat on the floor in the living room while Patty and Crystal took up the couch and Laura claimed the recliner. When Margaret came out of the kitchen, Laura stood up to offer the older woman the seat but Crystal's mother held her hand up and slowly made her way through the living room. "I'm tired. I'm going to bed early," Margaret said.

Crystal said nothing, her eyes looking everywhere but at her mother as the children got up and gave their grandmother hugs goodnight. "I'll see you in the morning," Patty said, holding the photo album on her lap. She gave Crystal a gentle nudge with her elbow but it was ignored. Only when she heard a bedroom door close did Crystal look up. "You know she did that because of you."

Shrugging her shoulders, Crystal reached for the photo album. "I know," she said. "Come on, let's see the pictures."

The rest of the evening progressed smoothly, the years of separation melting away as photos and memories were shared. Thomas, who had little interest in looking at pictures, kept Laura occupied by showing off his prowess with his modest video game collection. Jessica alternated back and forth between the two activities, joining in to help her mother tell a story or to show Laura how to play a particular game. By selectively ignoring any references made by her sister or niece, it became easy for Crystal to relax and pretend that her mother did not even live there. When the time finally came, she found she was reluctant to leave, wanting to spend just a few more hours with her beloved sister. It was with shining eyes and fierce hugs that they parted, promising to call each other and get together again soon. Laura even received hugs from the friendly Jessica and Thomas, who wanted her to come back and play more games with them. A quick jockeying of the cars to move Margaret's car out of the way and the visit was over.

"Do you want to talk?" Laura asked as she guided the Jeep out of the mobile home park and onto the street, going slow to minimize the bump of the potholes.

"No," Crystal said, reaching for her cigarettes. "Thanks for coming with me. I'm glad you were there even if I did spend most of my time with Patty and left you to keep the kids occupied."

"I didn't mind," Laura said. "After all, you went so you could spend time with her. I was glad to help with the kids."

Crystal watched the tendrils of smoke illuminated by the passing street lights. "You know, I don't understand why she acts like nothing ever happened," she said.

"You mean Patty?" Laura clarified.

"Yeah," she said. "I know she wants me to make peace with her but I won't. I don't have to forgive her for what happened." Crystal's eye caught a bright yellow billboard extolling the smooth flavor of a popular whiskey. "That looks good right now," she muttered.

"What?"

"That billboard back there." She sighed and took another drag. "Never mind." She stiffened at the sudden touch of Laura's hand on her thigh and had to reach out quickly to stop any retreat. "No, it's okay," she said, putting the hand back where it was. "I guess I just got a lot of stuff on my mind." "Care to share?" her lover offered.

Where to start? Crystal could not get her thoughts clear enough to understand them much less explain to another person. How angry she was to see her mother being so nice to Patty's children? How it bothered her to see Patty showing concern toward the woman that allowed them to be beaten and terrorized? How two lousy months made the difference between life with her sister and life on the streets? How somewhere deep inside a young girl still cries out for a mother that will never be there? The reasons swirled but the result was the same, intense anger roiled through her and refused to be tamped down. "I can't explain," she said finally, squeezing Laura's fingers with her own. "I just want to get home."