When Jenny spoke, it was in a tone carefully devoid of any inflection or tone. "So you and Laura are lovers?"

"Yeah," Crystal said, finding she could not maintain eye contact with Laura's ex-lover.

There was a long pause before Jenny spoke. "Our time is almost up," she said despite there being almost fifteen minutes left. "Doc," Crystal began.

"Make sure you keep up your meetings and writing in your journal," Jenny said, rising to her feet. "I'll see you on Friday." "Wait." Crystal reached out and grabbed Jenny's shoulder. "You're upset," she judged correctly.

"If you want to explore a relationship with someone, it's none of my business," Jenny said. "Please Crystal, I have some paperwork to catch up on before my next patient arrives."

"I thought you said bullshit wasn't allowed in this office, Doc," Crystal said, pulling her hand free. "You're right that I need to figure out why I'm mad at Patty. I didn't realize I was until you pointed it out. Maybe that's what I need you most for, to help me see the obvious when I can't." Wrapping her fingers around the door handle, Crystal paused and looked back at Jenny. "So let me tell you what I see right now, Doc. I see someone who still has feelings for Laura. You can hold onto those ethical guidelines all you want but this is something we're going to have to talk about." She opened the door. "See you Friday, right?" She waited for Jenny's nod before leaving the office, emotions swirling as they so often did after an intense session.

Not wanting to go right home, Crystal turned onto the highway and headed south. With the directions etched into her mind, she followed the signs until she ended up on the pothole filled road that led to the mobile home park where Patty lived. To her disappointment, the only car in the driveway was the one she recognized as belonging to her mother. She thought about turning around and leaving but then the screen door flew open and Jessica came running out. Knowing she was spotted, Crystal put the car in park and shut off the engine, steeling herself for the sight of the woman she so despised.

"Aunt Crystal, Aunt Crystal," the nine year old yelled as she bounded down the steps and ran over to the car.

"Hi Sweetie," she said, now wishing she had stopped along the way and picked up some little toys for her niece and nephew. After all, she was their only aunt and there were many birthdays and holidays to make up for. "How was school?"

"Mrs. Trudeau yelled at me."

"Oh yeah?" Crystal picked her niece up and carried her over to the picnic table. "Why?"

"Because I punched Melissa Goldman in the arm during lunch."

"And why did you do that?"

"She hit me first," the child said defensively.

"Did you tell the teacher that?"

Jessica nodded. "Uh huh. She yelled at both of us and we had to stay in during recess." The child's head turned at the sound of the screen door opening. "Gramma, Aunt Crystal is here." The smile that had been on Crystal's face quickly disappeared when her mother appeared in the doorway.

"Jessica, go change into your play clothes if you're going to be outside," Margaret Sheridan said.

"Do I have to?" the girl whined. "I won't get them dirty."

"You know what your mother said about wearing school clothes to play in," the gray haired woman reminded. Jessica made a disappointed face but climbed down and scooted into the house.

Crystal stood as well and walked over to her car, reaching through the open window for the cigarettes sitting on the dash. "I have nothing to say to you," she said, feeling the older woman's eyes upon her. Angrily lighting her cigarette, she shoved the lighter back into her pocket and leaned against the hood of her car, her back to the older woman.

"Crystal"

"I don't want to hear it. You had your chance years ago." She brought the cigarette to her lips, surprised at how her hand trembled. Calm down, she thought to herself, knowing Jessica would be back out any minute.

"I've missed you," Margaret said sadly.

"Yeah?" Crystal snorted. "Funny, I haven't missed you one bit." Tasting the venom in her tongue, she took the opportunity to lash out. "What I miss is something you never were and never will be." She heard the sniffle, then the screen door opening and closing. "Good," she muttered, taking pleasure in the knowledge that her words could hurt the other woman. Now alone, she walked over to the picnic table and resumed her seat.

Jessica came out a few minutes later, now dressed in faded jeans and sneakers that would never again be white. In her hand was a paper, the "A" in red marker clearly visible. "Aunt Crystal, wanna see what I got on my test?"

"I see, very good," she said, carefully schooling the residual anger out of her voice. "What time does your mommy come home?" "Mommy comes home at six," Jessica said as climbed up on the bench. "Are you gonna stay for dinner?"

"I don't think so," Crystal said. "I have to go home soon. Laura will wonder where I am."

"You could call her," Jessica suggested. "Gramma will let you use the phone."

Not a chance, she thought to herself. "Maybe another time," she said. "Where's Thomas?"

"He's at swimming class. Can I come to your house some time?" Jessica gave her aunt her best pleading look but all Crystal saw were shadows of her sister a generation before. The young girl's hair was the same shade of blonde and her button nose was unmistakably a gift from Patty's genes. "Sure," Crystal said, knowing with certainty that she was going to be one of those aunts who spoils their nieces and nephews. "Maybe we can even find a movie to go to."

"Oh!" Jessica said excitedly. "I wanna see Dragons and Wizards."

"Isn't that the one with all the blood and stuff?" Crystal asked, wrinkling her nose at the memory of the previews on television. "Besides, I think that movie is rated R."

"I've seen R rated movies before," Jessica said.

"How about we ask your mother?" Crystal smiled as the look on her niece's face told her exactly what Patty's reaction to such a suggestion would be. "Uh huh, I thought so. You were trying to pull a fast one on your Aunt Crystal, weren't you?" Jessica giggled and squirmed as Crystal reached over and began tickling her. "I knew it, you're just like your mother when she was a kid."

The pair were still chatting away when Patty's car pulled in behind Crystal's hatchback. The passenger door opened and three feet of energy came bounding out. "Aunt Crystal!"

"Hi Thomas," she said, turning on the bench to catch the boy as he jump at her lap. "Did you have fun swimming?"

"Yeah," he said with a smile. "Mr. Sherman even let me jump off the diving board once."

Patty approached them carrying a bright blue roll bag. "Thomas, give Gramma your swimming trunks and towel so she can get them washed for Wednesday," she said.

"Okay Mommy."

Crystal stood up and accepted her sister's hug. "Hi."

"Good to see you again," Patty said. "Come on in and stay for dinner. Did you bring Laura?"

"Laura's home," Crystal said. "I was just out driving and thought I'd stop by for a few minutes. I can't stay."

"Well it's still good to see you," her sister said, pulling back but leaving one arm around Crystal's shoulders. "At least come inside for a few minutes."

"I can't." Crystal took a step toward her car. "You know why."

Patty glanced at the house, then at her daughter. "Jess, go inside and help Gramma with dinner, please."

"Okay Mommy. Can I come back out when I'm done?"

"Is your homework done?" Patty asked.

"Most of it."

"Then you know what you'll be doing after dinner then, don't you?"

Crystal had to smile at the pout on her niece's face. "I'll come back soon to visit," she promised, bending down to hug the child who had come running over.

"Bye Aunt Crystal."

"Bye sweetie."

The sisters remained quiet until the screen door closed, each lighting their own cigarette. Patty spoke first. "I wish you would try to get along with her."

"Not a chance," Crystal said. "You want to pretend nothing happened and she was mother of the year, go right ahead." "Look, I know you blame her for some of what happened to us but Crys, it was years ago."

"Oh, and that makes it all right?" Crystal walked over to her car and leaned against it, forcing Patty to follow her or have to speak loud enough for the words to carry through the open kitchen window. "She was all that stood between him and us and she did nothing, not one damn thing to help us."

"All right but he was the one, not her. You want to hate someone, hate him." Patty said angrily. "He's the one I hate."

"I hate him too but you can't just pretend she's innocent in all of it," Crystal said, her voice rising to match Patty's. "She's just as guilty and I can't figure out why the hell you can't see that." Pulling the keys out of her pocket, Crystal walked around the front of the car to the driver's side. "I'd like to see you and the kids," she said. "But I'm not going to put up with her."

"This is her home too," Patty said. "I can't just ask her to disappear whenever you want to stop over."

Jerking the door open, Crystal shrugged. "Fine. Then come over to my place because nothing is going to get me to make peace with her." She started the car and began backing up the second Patty moved away.

Speed was not a concern for Crystal as she whipped through the side streets on her way back to the highway. Once on the wide open road, she moved into the left lane and pushed the old car well over the posted limit. Only the rushing wind kept her thoughts company and it did nothing to help steer her away from the darkness that beckoned. At the intersection at the end of the exit ramp, Crystal came to a complete stop, the time having come for her to make a decision. To the right were the bars that offered oblivion, the escape from the anger and pain swirling around inside her. To the left, the scenic townhouse complex and Laura. Making her decision, Crystal turned the steering wheel and stepped on the gas.

Laura was waiting impatiently in the living room when she heard Crystal's car pull up. "It's about time," she said as she headed for the door, throwing it open just as Crystal was getting out of the car. "Where were you? I called around noon and Michael said you took the afternoon off."

"I went to see Jenny then over to Patty's," Crystal said, meeting Laura halfway up the walk. "And I'm not sure I should have done either." "What happened?"

Crystal sighed and leaned against her. "Long story, both of them."

"All right, let's go inside and you can tell me all about it," Laura said, putting her arm around Crystal's waist. "I'm sorry if I sounded agitated. It's not like you to leave work in the middle of the day."

"I couldn't concentrate at work," Crystal said as they entered the townhouse. "I thought if I talked it out with Jenny that I could make sense of it but that just added to the problem."

"Wait a minute, I'm confused. How did talking with Jenny make the problem you have with Patty worse?"

"Not that," Crystal said, tossing her keys on the side table. "Though in Doc's usual way she gave me a lot to think about." She shook her head. "I don't know how to explain it."

"How about if we go over to the couch and I hold you until you figure out a way?" Laura suggested, using her hands on Crystal's shoulders to guide her lover in the direction she wanted.

"Why is it everything in my life always ends up being so screwed up?" Crystal huffed as she flopped onto the couch. "It's like I have some sort of warped Midas touch or something."

Believing Crystal would explain in her own way, Laura sat down and began gently rubbing her back, patiently waiting out the long moments before the young woman spoke again.

"I went over to see Patty and we got into it over the old woman," Crystal sighed. "Again. I don't know why she even bothers trying. It's not going to change the way I feel. I told her from now on she should come over here with the kids instead of me going there."

"Did she agree with that?" Laura asked.

Crystal shrugged her shoulders. "I dunno. I was so pissed by then that I just jumped in the car and took off." She shook her head. "I guess Doc was right when she said that I was mad at Patty because she defends the old woman." She reached for her shirt pocket where the half-empty pack of cigarettes were. "I need a smoke," she said. "Can we go outside?"

"Sure," Laura said, standing up and reaching for Crystal's hand. Together they walked through the kitchen to the deck. They sat down on the chairs, Laura saying nothing while Crystal lit her cigarette and took several drags.