"Is it always going to be like this?" Crystal murmured, not lifting her head from its soft pillow.

"You mean am I always going to respond to you like this?" Laura asked.

Crystal shook her head. "I mean" She paused, unsure how to put her thoughts into words. "Will you always feel about me the way you do now?"

Ignoring the cold for a moment, Laura reached down and cupped Crystal's chin. "I can't imagine not feeling this way about you," she said softly. "You mean everything to me and the thought of you not being here hurts too much to think about. I love you, Crystal. I know it sounds selfish but I want all you can give and then some. I want to be the only one you touch in love and the only one that touches you. I want you to be the first thing I see when I wake up in the morning and the last before I go to sleep. I want to hold you when you cry and laugh with you when you're happy. I want to be your white knight when you need protection and your helpless damsel when you need to be the one doing the protecting. I don't want just a relationship with you," she said, moving her fingers to trace Crystal's lips. "I want a life with you." At first alarmed when she saw tears welling up in her lover's eyes, Laura quickly realized they were tears of happiness and hugged Crystal even closer. "I love you," she said, kissing the top the blonde head. "I'm not going anywhere."

"I love you too," Crystal said, sniffling as she brought herself back under control. She gently smacked Laura's arm.

"Hey, what was that for?" Laura asked with mock indignation.

"You know what your sweet talking does to me," Crystal said, causing Laura to chuckle.

"Serves you right for making me as limp as a washcloth," Laura said. She felt Crystal's lips on her neck, the soft tongue slipping out to taste her. She groaned, knowing she could no more resist her lover's touch than she could resist breathing. "There's a nice warm bed right in the next room," she tried.

"Uh huh," Crystal mumbled, moving down to capture Laura's left breast with her mouth while her fingers kept the other breast company. "Crystal," Laura sighed, her legs automatically parting despite her wish to move the action to another venue.

"You really wanna waste time with the towels?" Crystal asked around a mouthful of flesh.

"No," Laura agreed, caring little at the moment about how wet the sheets would get.

"So what's stopping you?" Crystal teased, her teeth lightly scraping the tender peak.

"Now who's being the bitch?" Laura asked, her fingers lightly stroking her lover's back. "You're going to be the death of me." "Not before we get out of here and under the covers," Crystal said as she stood up, the bubbles sliding down her wet body. "It's cold in here." Laura laughed and reached out for Crystal's hand, knowing sleep would not come for quite a while.

"Are you sure this is the kind that doesn't lose its needles?" Laura asked as they muscled the large tree through the front door. "How would I know?" Crystal said. "Hang on, I have to turn here."

"Are you sure that stand is big enough? I don't want it to tip over."

"It's not going to tip over and the stand is big enough," Crystal huffed as she backed into the corner they had designated for the Christmas tree. "How much time do we have before we have to leave to get to the airport?"

"Aunt Helen's plane is due in at four thirty," Laura said. "You're almost to the wall."

"I know, hang on, I'm going to put it in the stand and hold it there while you keep coming and stand it up. Then I'll tighten down the screws and we should be all set," Crystal said as she slowly crouched down. "You think we can get this thing decorated in the next two hours?"

"I hope so, otherwise we're going to get Aunt Helen's unsolicited help," Laura said. "You all right down there?"

"Yeah, just keep coming forward slowly," Crystal said. "I still say the lights have to twinkle. Otherwise why bother having them?" "Multi-colored twinkle lights," Laura said disapprovingly. "Why not put a lighted Santa and snowmen on the lawn?"

"I like lighted Santas," Crystal protested. "Okay, hold it still now. I'm gonna tighten it down."

"They're tacky and commercial," Laura said.

"It's festive, you Scrooge." Crystal said as she backed out from under the tree and stood up. "There, you can let go now." She stood up and hooked her arm around Laura's waist. "Our first Christmas tree."

"It looks bigger than it did at the tree farm," Laura said.

"Is that bigger good or bigger bad?" Crystal asked. "You said I could pick it out and I thought this was a good size."

"It is a good size," Laura said reassuringly. "I just don't know if we have enough decorations to cover it. Mother only gave me two boxes of ornaments and lights."

"I can't believe you never bothered to put up a tree before," Crystal said, resting her head on Laura's upper chest.

"When I was with Jenny, we were always spending the day at one relative's house or another. It just didn't make any sense to put up a tree when we weren't going to be here." Laura stepped back and opened one of the boxes sitting on the coffee table. "Of course we're not going to be here most of the day either." She scrutinized the tree. "How can you tell if it's the kind that loses its needles?"

"When a bunch of them show up on the carpet?" Crystal offered. "I dunno, call someone and ask."

"Peter would know," Laura said. "Wait until you see what he does for Christmas."

"Michael said you can see their house from space," Crystal said as she took the string of lights from Laura. "How many of these do we have?"

Laura looked through the box. "There's two more like this and one string of the bigger white bulbs. The other box is garland, tinsel and the rest of the ornaments."

"We need more lights," Crystal said matter-of-factly as she arranged the string over the lower boughs. "Maybe we can go shopping after we drop Helen off?" she asked hopefully. Laura gave her that indulgent smile that Crystal knew meant she'd won. "Great. I promise not to go overboard." "Your definition of overboard and my definition of overboard are two different things, I'm sure," Laura said as she untangled a string of lights. "Shouldn't we plug these in first to see if they work?"

"Naw, that would make too much sense," Crystal said, bending down to put the plug into the outlet. Red, green, blue and orange lights shined brightly against the rich green branches. "This one works." She unplugged it and reached to take the one Laura was holding. "This one works too but they're not blinking."

"It's not the end of the world," Laura said as they continued to check the strings. "Besides, I think you have to leave them plugged in for a few minutes to warm up before they start flashing." She bent down and wrapped her arms around Crystal's shoulders. "And if they don't blink we can buy new ones that do."

"I'm being a baby about this, huh?"

"Just a little," Laura said with a smile. "But it's all right. I think it's cute." She kissed the tip of Crystal's nose, then stood up. "To be honest, I haven't been this excited about Christmas in years. The tree was a good idea."

Crystal stood as well, connecting the end of one string of lights to the beginning of another. "You realize this will be the first year since I was a kid that I won't be drunk on Christmas?"

"Or stoned," Laura added.

"You noticed that, did you?" She looked down at the light string in her hands, unaware of the smile that played on her lips. "You didn't say anything."

"You didn't say anything either," the dark haired woman said. "At first I wasn't sure if you had stopped or just run out. I don't think you've had any in at least two weeks."

"Twenty days," Crystal said. "And I didn't run out. I just well" She shrugged her shoulders. "I dunno."

"I'm certainly not complaining," Laura said.

"I was hoping you'd notice without me having to tell you," she admitted, smiling when she felt Laura's arms go around her. "I did notice," Laura said. "When it comes to you, I always notice."

"Don't you start sweet talking me again," she warned lightly. "Or we'll never get this tree done." Patting Laura's hands, she said "Let me go so we can finish this and then we can go to bed." Once free of the loving embrace, she looped the light set around the tree. "There. It probably won't be as good as your mother's or Peter's but it'll be okay."

"It doesn't have to be as good as Mother's or Peter's," Laura said. "It's not a competition."

"I thought you said it wasn't a competition," Crystal said from her reclined position on the couch.

"It's not," Laura said as she moved the purple ornament again.

"Then why were you up all night?"

"Because the tree isn't symmetrical," Laura said, stepping back. "See? There's still too much green over in this area."

"I know and too much red near the top," Crystal sighed, having listened to her lover point out every imperfection with their tree since she woke up and found her downstairs. "Who cares?"

Laura carefully removed a green ball and set it in the box. "Now you know the real reason Jenny and I never had a tree." "You obsess too much, you know that?" Crystal grumbled as she sat up and stretched. "No one's going to notice."

"I'm almost done," Laura said. "I just need to move some of the tinsel over to this side and even out the ornaments. I don't think this is the good kind of tree, either. I found several needles on the floor."

"What do you expect with the way you've been moving everything around?" Crystal said. "I know that bottom string of lights aren't where I put them yesterday."

"They were too low," Laura explained as she hooked a hanger over the branch and attached the glass ornament. "Besides, it looks better now." "Next year you're doing the tree by yourself," Crystal said as she rose and padded out to the kitchen. "Don't think I didn't hear you and your mother talking about the

" She made quote marks with her fingers "perfect tree. You want some coffee?"

"That sounds good, thanks," Laura said, putting the last piece of tinsel in its place and plugged in the lights. "There. Perfect," she said proudly as she stepped back to inspect her handiwork.

Crystal came out from the kitchen carrying two mugs of coffee. "It looks very nice," she said, though she saw nothing wrong with the way the tree looked last night. "Nice and ah."

"See how there's an equal amount of color all the way around?" Laura said proudly as she took the offered mug. "It's symmetrical and aesthetically pleasing to the eye."

"It's beautiful," Crystal said. "The best tree I ever saw."

"Are you being sarcastic?"

Taking Laura's coffee from her, Crystal set both mugs down on the coffee table and pulled her lover into a gentle embrace. "It's our first tree. How could it be anything less than the best?"

"You realize you're letting me get away with being overly compulsive," Laura pointed out.

"I know," Crystal admitted. "But it's a nice tree and obviously it made you happy to stay up all night working on it."

"It did," Laura said, brushing their lips together. "I'm glad you talked me into getting a tree this year."

"I'm glad I did too," Crystal said, enjoying the feel of their bodies pressed together. "We'll have to make it an annual tradition." "I think we already have," Laura said. "I love you."

"I love you too," Crystal said, squeezing tightly. "Thanks for my gift."

Confused, Laura pulled back and looked at her. "But Christmas isn't for two days and I hid your present at Jenny's. How do you know what it is?"

Putting her arms around Laura's neck and bringing her close, Crystal said "I didn't mean that gift but thanks for telling me so I can stop looking around here."

"Then what do you mean?"

"This gift," she said, kissing Laura's chin. "You. Your love. Six months ago I was just existing and now" She tightened her hold. "Now I feel for the first time like I'm living."

"All I did was support you," Laura said softly. "Any changes or successes you've had are because of you, not me." She smiled. "I was just going through the motions before you moved in and turned everything upside down. Into my quiet, organized little world comes this blonde hellion who, despite my best efforts, stole my heart. I'm just lucky enough to have you fall for me as hard as I fell for you."

Crystal sighed happily and rested her head on Laura's chest, the brightly decorated tree filling her vision. "I guess we're both lucky then. I love you." "I love you too," Laura said. "Always." And together they stood under the twinkling lights of their first Christmas tree, knowing there were struggles to be faced, problems to be had but through it all, they would face it together.