Marjorie Thelen - Designer Detective

“You have a funny accent,” I said. “Where are you from?”

“What?” he said. “Don’t make fun of me, girlie.”

“My name is Fiona, it is not girlie.”

“I don’t care what your name is. It won’t really matter if you don’t level with me.”

“You know, I wish I knew where the rifles were. I would tell you. But I didn’t know about them until the day before the fire.”

“Are you the one who set the fire? You were trying to get rid of the evidence, so’s we can’t find the guns.”

“I thought you set the fire. Cody said you set the fire to get rid of the evidence.”

Onions rubbed his square chin. “You’re testing my patience. You’re making me crazy here, girlie. I may have to use a little persuasion if you don’t stop being cute.”

The other guy pulled something out of his suit pocket. With a click it snapped out into a blade. Shades of West Side Story. I didn’t like my part in the drama.

“If you don’t start talking,” said Onions, “we relieve your boyfriend of some of his body parts.”

I nearly fainted. Here I was in a luxury hotel, in an upscale neighborhood, with three nice incentive packages in the offing and these two have to show up. I should never have answered the door.

“There’s nothing to tell.”

“What?” he said. “Ivan, take off that guy’s little finger.”

“No, wait. Stop.” Now I was getting mad because that weasel Alice had double-crossed me. She sent these guys to torture us. It was all a hoax to get us to talk.

“Talk.”

“I’ll talk if you let Jake go.” This was sounding very noble.

“You ain’t exactly in a position to make any deals, girlie.”

“I’m not kidding you. Jake doesn’t know anything. I was the one did all the deals with Cody. You let him go then I’ll talk. Where is Cody by the way?”

“We knew where Cody was we wouldn’t be here with you. We’d be frying his ass instead.”

I didn’t like the imagery of an ass frying.

There was another knock on the door. Maybe help was on the way.

“Who is it?” I called before Onions could answer.

“Your escort.”

Why couldn’t they have come first?

Onions pulled a knife and held it to my throat. “You tell them to come back later. Got it?”

I nodded cautiously against the tip of the blade. We did a twosome shuffle to the door.

“I don’t need any,” I said through the door.

“This is your airport transport. You’re expecting us.”

Alice wasn’t kidding. Bless her heart. Maybe she was still on the good guys’ side although the good-bad line was very blurred.

“Just a minute,” I called through the door.

I turned to Onions. “I better talk to these people. Alice sent them. If I just send them away, she’ll know something is wrong.”

“Pull the big guy away from the door,” said Onions.

Ivan tugged Jake to the end of the bed and dumped him on the floor.

“Now, girlie, first you put the chain on, open the door a little crack, and tell that guy you need more time, come back in an hour.”

I did as directed, thankful we had only an hour left of torture time, and looked to see who was there. Hudson was standing behind another man who I had never seen before. My eyes went wide. I wanted to throw open the door and hug and kiss Hudson into oblivion. But I, of course, couldn’t. I kept staring at him until I felt a little prick against my arm.

“I’m not ready,” I said. “I need about an hour yet. Could you come back?”

“Alice said we take you now,” said the first guy who had one of those 1960s buzz cuts. “Sorry but those are the orders. We can wait out here if you want but we aren’t leaving without you.”

Hudson gave me a reassuring smile. I motioned with my eyes toward the room. That’s all I could think to do.

Onions pulled me inside and pushed the door shut. “Did you recognize that man?”

Good, he didn’t catch on that there was more than one of them. “No, I don’t know who he is, but he isn’t leaving without me.”

I forgave Alice and silently thanked her for sending Hudson. He wasn’t wearing the butler attire, rather a black windbreaker. He looked very clandestine.

Onions shoved me to where Ivan stood over Jake.

“We got a problem. Alice sent a guy to take this broad to the airport. He won’t leave without her. We’re trapped in here with the two of them.”

Ivan said, “Shit. Let’s kill them now and battle our way out of the room.”

Onions seemed to consider that. “Messy. Ratko don’t like messes.”

Who was Ratko?

The house telephone rang. Onions said, “Don’t answer.”

It rang and rang and rang.

“Someone knows we’re in here,” I said. “They may come looking for us.”

“Who wants to talk to you?” said Onions.

“I’m supposed to talk to the police about the fire. I’m wanted for questioning.”

Onions frowned. That obviously had no part in his plans. “You mean the police might be phoning you?”

The phone kept ringing. The three of us studied it. I wasn’t sure who else might want something from us. Maybe it was Jake’s buddies. The police were a possibility. Alice said she was going to make it right with the local authorities, but I wasn’t sure how that would play.

A voice with tones from the bottom of a well said, “Hello? Somebody answer the phone.” Jake was coming to.

I sidestepped Ivan and Onions and knelt to try to help him.

“Jake, Jake, can you hear me?” I said, smoothing his rumpled clothes.

“Someone should answer the phone. Why don’t you answer the phone, Fiona?”

At least he knew who I was. “Lie still. You had a terrible blow. Just lie still. Can you open your eyes?”

One eye popped open. “My neck is killing me.”

The phone stopped ringing.

Ivan and Onions stood over Jake.

“These guys did it,” I said. “They want information.”

Jake’s other eye popped open. “Who are you?” he said to the two heads leaning over him.

“Don’t matter who we are. It’s what we want. We want the rest of them rifles that Cody stiffed us on. You know anything about them rifles?”

Jake eased up on one arm and winced. “One of you guys hit me?”

“Yeah, what of it?”

“That’s very unfriendly.”

“Listen, buddy, we don’t have time for pleasant conversation. We want them rifles. Where’s your friend, Cody? He knows where the rifles are.”

Jake coughed and sat up and moved his head gingerly. “I don’t know where Cody is. He disappeared when some guy showed up looking for him.”

“That was me,” Ivan said. “He slipped outta that garage, and we can’t find him.”

Jake shrugged. “Easy come, easy go.”

“Don’t be a wiseass or I slug you again. Your girlfriend here and you need to come clean with us or we get creative how we extract information from you.”

My cell phone started ringing in my purse.

“Someone is trying to get a hold of me,” I said, stating the obvious.

The phone kept ringing.

“Will someone please answer the phone?” said Jake. “My head hurts.”

“Nobody answer anything.”

“I think I should. They are going to know something isn’t right if I don’t answer. Don’t forget the two men at the door.” Oops, I let that one slip.

“Two men?” said Onions. “You said only one.”

“I miscounted. There’s two men at the door waiting to take me to the airport.”

The phone kept ringing.

“Check the ID. Tell us who is trying to call you.”

I fished in my purse and looked at the ID. “Don’t know,” I said. “I don’t recognize the number.”

Before Onions could tell me what to do, I answered it.

“Miss Marlowe?” said Hudson.

Onions moved closer and put the tip of the blade under my ear and pressed. Jake was watching and yelled, “Hey, get that knife away from Fiona.”

Onions slapped the phone from my hand onto the floor and stomped on it. I only hoped Hudson had heard the exchange.

“Now look what you’ve done. You’ve ruined my phone,” I said. “I liked that phone, and it cost a lot of money.”

“Shut up,” Onions said. “I should bang your head in right now. Who was on the phone?”

I shrugged. “A heavy breather. No one spoke. I think I’m being stalked.”

“Fat chance,” said Onions.

I think he was getting a little frustrated. I didn’t want to push him too far. With my newfound respect and total astonishment that Hudson was ‘one of ours’, I knew he must be working the case. That didn’t help wounded Jake and me. I didn’t know how much longer we could hold them off. That knife was sharp as sharks’ teeth.

Onions motioned to Ivan, and the two of them retreated for a conference to the corner of the room out of view of the window. Jake and I exchanged glances.

“Can you get up?” I asked him, taking his arm.

“Hold on, let me try myself. Maybe I can make it to a sitting position on the bed.”

“Don’t try anything funny,” Onions barked at us.

“Wouldn’t think of it,” I said. “Jake is merely trying to sit up.”

Jake pushed and I tugged until he was able to sit on the bed. He rotated his neck. I checked for cuts but found none. He’d have a nice bruise on his neck though from the hand chop. I sat beside him and put my arm around his shoulders, then leaned in for what I hoped looked like a kiss. I whispered in his ear, “Hudson’s waiting at the door. He’s the one who called.”

Onions yelled, “Shut your mouth.”

“I was only giving Jake a little kiss to make things better.”

The two came back to stand before us.

“You both are going to leave with those guys at the door. You will not tell them anyone is in this room, do you understand? You get five minutes to get down the hall and out the main entrance. Do not try to give us the slip because we’re following you.”

He flipped open a cell phone and dialed. “Ratko? Send some of the boys to the front entrance right away. We got two of them, the girl and the big guy, so watch for them. Some guys are here to escort the girl to the airport. Tell the boys to be in front to head them off.”

“All right, let’s go,” Onions said to us.

The only thing Jake and I could do was play along and hope. At the moment my brain wasn’t working fast enough to formulate an escape plan. Jake managed to stand. I grabbed my carry on and his arm, and we shuffled to the door.

“Wait,” Onions said. He positioned the knife at Jake’s throat. Don’t get funny on us. You go with these guys, but if you try anything funny, the girl gets it in the head.” He made a finger gun and pointed it at my head. “Pop, pop. Get it?”

Jake nodded once. We made it to the door, and I opened it. Standing across the hall was Hudson and the short, wiry guy with the buzz cut.

“We’re ready,” I said.

“This way,” said Hudson, pointing to the right, not acknowledging that he knew me. “We’ll go to the elevator.”

As we cleared the door, the one to the room across the hall exploded open, and two guys in suits with guns lunged into our room before the door closed. Hudson shoved us against the wall.

We heard a cry, then another. No shots were fired. Then everything was quiet.

A typical day at your five star hotel.

Hudson herded us in a half run to the elevator.

“Their friends are waiting to meet us at the main entrance,” I said, trying to catch my breath after we gained the relative safety of the down elevator. As far as I knew, the two attack guys were still in the room with Onions and Ivan. No one had been in hot pursuit.

“I’m pleased to hear that more men are coming,” he said with his usual smile, not even winded, looking very spy in black windbreaker and gray slacks.

I was having a panic attack myself.

“You are?” I said.

“By all means,” Hudson said. “They are coming out of the woodwork now, as the saying goes. We will catch them at their game. You performed your role as bait splendidly. I apologize for the terrible ordeal, but you helped catch two of the gang we’re targeting.”

“We were bait? Hudson, those guys threatened to cut body parts off Jake, if we didn’t tell them where the rifles were. They had knives. Jake got a head chop out of the deal.”

Jake seemed to be coming back to life after the run down the hall. He was rubbing and rotating his neck.

“It was all in the line of duty,” he said. “No permanent harm done.”

Hudson examined Jake’s neck. “You have a nasty welt, but I rather suspect you’ll live. We will need your continued cooperation. Those fellows think you know where the rifles are. We’re going to pretend to take them there.”