“For instance, there are shelters, but the people in them can’t come in until after six at night and must be out by seven in the morning. They don’t always have the sort of facilities you’d need to land and then keep a job. So how do you then transition from homelessness to getting an apartment if you can’t wash your clothes? If you have no ability to shower?”

You took shitty baths in sinks at gas stations. Your clothes smelled. She got that.

“So we helped raise money and get the neighborhood involved in the planning of a day center. There’s a laundry where people can wash their clothing and their blankets if they stay on the streets. There are showers with donated soap. A few days a week we’ve got nurse practitioners who come in. It took a lot of people from a huge array of perspectives and interested groups to make it happen. Took us seven years from the first talks about ideas to getting it up and running.”

“Wow. Congratulations, it sounds like a much-needed service.” And it was a prime example of what she’d meant about how he was an asshole, but not an entitled one. He took his skills and his connections and he used them for good. “But you went into law instead of planning?”

“I did. I like the law. Levi and I are good at it. We have different practice areas of course, but it’s a family business and I found my place in it. I do have a brother who is an architect, so clearly that runs in our genes too. I interned at my family’s firm during the summers and realized that’s what I wanted to do. I like the courtroom and not everyone does.”

“So you’re like one of those TV lawyers?”

He laughed as she smiled at her desired result. Of course she knew television lawyer shows were like the bane of actual lawyers, but she liked it when he laughed.

“Not so much. I do a lot of trial work. Appellate. I don’t know if I’d love it as much if my practice was mainly motions and briefs. I like the people I deal with. Most of the time I like my clients.”

“Appellate is what?”

“State supreme courts, United States Supreme Court, U.S. appellate courts.”

She had him pegged as a mover and a shaker and he clearly was. She wasn’t an expert on the legal system, but she knew enough to understand that if you argued before those courts you were a hotshot.

“I’m impressed.”

“No, you’re not.”

Annoyance rankled her. She was being serious and he blew that off. “Don’t tell me what I am or am not.”

He turned his head, careful to keep his body in place. “I didn’t mean to offend you.”

“It’s pretty difficult to offend me. But telling me what I think or feel is a way. I don’t say things I don’t mean. And if I’m wrong, I’ll say so.”

“I apologize. And thank you for the compliment.”

“Apology accepted.” She paused a moment and got back to work. “So tell me about your daughter.”

“It’s your turn to tell me something. I know you were in foster care. Do you have any biological family at all?”

“Some.”

“Are you in contact with them?”

She had one aunt who sent her Christmas cards. She used to never even open them. But a few years back she started to. They never said much and she wasn’t sure if she was relieved or not.

“Not really, no.”

“Ah.”

Ah? Like he knew? She was touchy when it came to this subject, which is why she so frequently steered far in the other direction from it.

“How did you meet your ex-wife?”

“We’re still talking about you. Why did you leave Arkansas?”

“Have you ever been to Happy Bend?”

He chuckled.

“But there are a lot of states between Arkansas and California.”

“Sure, and that was part of the appeal.” Not that anyone really would have looked for her by that point anyway. “Los Angeles had lots of opportunity. Or I thought it did anyway.”

“It didn’t?”

“It was harder than I thought it would be. I was homeless for a while when I first arrived. That sucked.” Not as much as the place she lived back in Happy Bend though. “But in a few months I had enough saved for a shitty little apartment. I had a few jobs. It got better.”

“You were how old?”

“Seventeen.”

“Christ. That’s young.”

“I was never young.” She kept working, working to keep herself detached from the details. It was her life; she wasn’t ashamed. She didn’t necessarily hide it. But she didn’t go into it with much depth with many people. With most people, she supposed.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

“Tell me about it.”

“Not much to tell really. Shitty childhood. It’s not a unique story. My adulthood is better. I overcame it and I prefer to keep it that way. My past doesn’t hinder me, it serves as a reminder that there’s better out there for me and it wasn’t in Arkansas.”

“I’m sorry. Abuse?”

“Here and there.”

“While in foster care?”

“Not always.”

He sucked in a breath. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. It’s long done. Be glad your daughter has a bright future and a wonderful past to look back on.”

“I am. Her mother, my ex, well, Carrie will probably have stuff to deal with, but she seems to be handling it fine.”

“She’s got a parent who loves her. She’s got a great future. If she can’t make something of herself with that, she’s not the kid you talk about.”

“She and I went to counseling for a while. Did you ever go?”

She laughed but then cringed because there was nothing but loathing in the sound.

“No.”

“Don’t believe in it?”

“Look, there was no money for that stuff. There wasn’t anything. I made it through. That’s what counts.”

It was easier to talk about it to his back.

She outlined, wiped the ink away, outlined, wiped the blood away. It was what she did. She created new things and didn’t think about the old. Looking back slowed you down.

He sighed. “I don’t know what to say.”

“There’s nothing to say. Not really. It was a shitty childhood. It made me into who I am today. I survived it. Lots of people didn’t. So, let’s talk about you again.”

“No, I want to keep talking about you.”

“For fuck’s sake, why? I’m not a project like a hygiene center.”

“I don’t think that. I’m trying to know you.”

This is why she kept things light. “Don’t. I’m sure you’ve heard. I know you asked about me. I’m not worth knowing. Just fuck me and enjoy it and then move on.”

“That’s not who I am. And that’s not who you are.”

She snorted. “That’s totally who I am, Jonah. I’m a bitch. I’m a whore. I like to fuck. Lots of people.”

He turned then, grabbing her wrist, his eyes ablaze. She didn’t even have a moment to be angry at how he could have just made her ink a line across his back if she’d had the needle down.

“You’re not a whore. I’ve touched you. I’ve seen you. Stop.”

“Don’t make me into something I’m not. I’ll break your heart if you expect more.”

“I expect all of you. You should know that going in.”

Her heart pounded so hard and fast she was a little light-headed. He tore her defenses down. She barely knew him and he had this much power to affect her. What would it be like if they continued?

“Then we should be friends. I can do that much better.”

“Oh, we are friends. And we’ll continue that. But we’ve moved past the ‘just friends’ stage.”

“You barely know me. I don’t do relationships.”

“Oh yes, you do. You’re doing it right now. Neither of us is naive. Neither of us is so young we don’t know what this is between us. I’m too old to pretend away what this is.”

“I told you, I don’t do relationships. I’m not a monogamous person.”

“When you’re in my bed you are.”

“Then I can’t be in your bed.”

He smiled and it sent a shiver through her.

“Oh. Yes. Yes, you can. You are.”

“Then you need to accept you may have to share me.”

He shook his head slowly. “Gorgeous, I don’t even share pizza. I’d never share something as delicious as you. I don’t share.”

He scared her. Not physically. He held her wrist but if she really wanted to get away, he’d let go. And that scared her too.

It shouldn’t scare her. She barely knew him! But this was different on so many levels. The way he spoke to her, the way she found herself speaking back to him. He wasn’t shocked by her. He wasn’t scared off.

“Don’t be a coward, Raven. Give yourself to me and me only. I promise to make it worth your while.”

It was a struggle to keep her breath even. A struggle not to run for the door. She should run for the door. She was not cut out for this stuff. If she couldn’t make it work with a stand-up guy like Brody, she truly was a failure at it.

But Jonah wasn’t like Brody. They shared things in common, yes. Both men were both strong and intelligent. But this thing . . . the way her entire system reacted when Jonah touched her or even just spoke to her, well, that was something else entirely.

She understood without a doubt that should she refuse to keep things monogamous, things would be over.

And while she’d been able to accept that and move on every other time this came up . . . she was couldn’t just then. She didn’t want to walk away.

“It’s not marriage. It’s monogamy. You can do it. You’re the girl who came out to L.A. at seventeen and made herself a life. You sure as hell can fuck me and only me. Unless . . . well, I’d say something like unless you’re not really into this thing between us. But that would be a lie. Because I know you are. I can see it in your features. I can feel it around my cock when I’m inside you. You’re not a liar, Raven, and neither am I. I won’t let you be.”

Fascinated, he watched the emotion play across her face. Panic. A whole lot of it. He wondered, not for the first time, what she’d endured to make her this way.

Fear. Oh yes. Not of him. At least not that he’d physically harm her. He hoped his own didn’t show. His fear that she’d reject this and back off. Because though he’d made the threat that it was all or nothing, he wanted her too much and he wasn’t entirely sure if he could resist her.

Desire. Which he knew mirrored his own.

Hope. Which nearly broke his heart. And reminded him that she was not a thing to be played with, but a complicated woman with flaws and no small amount of baggage. But he wanted something with her. There was no denying it. No denying this woman brought so many things to the surface. More than need, which he nearly drowned in. More than lust and sexual hunger for her.

He wanted to dominate her in all the best ways. Her pupils flared when he’d grabbed her wrist. Her lips had parted, skin flushed. She got off on it as much as he got off doing it. And that only made him want it more. He’d given himself a little; the delight of that crack on her bare ass as he’d fucked her had only whetted his appetite for more.

He wanted to show her the power of what they could have together. Wanted her to trust him enough to give it to him willingly. Wanted to cosset and shower her with delights. If any woman he’d ever met needed spoiling, it was this one.

He wasn’t stupid. He knew she was headstrong and it would take a strong hand to set a tone. To keep the balance right. He had to deserve her submission, and once given, he needed to keep deserving it.

Against his fingertips, the rapid beat of her pulse told him she was freaked out. But the way she hadn’t just told him to fuck off also told him she was considering it.

He needed to push.

“What do you say, gorgeous? Be mine and only mine. If you want out, you only have to say it.”

She licked her lips, her pupils still so huge they nearly swallowed all the color in her irises.

With his free hand he reached up to slide his knuckles down the column of her throat. “You’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen. Vivid. Headstrong. I know you want me.”

She still held the needle machine but had turned it off. His back was cool and slightly sticky where she’d been working.

“Take a leap, Raven. I’ll catch you.”

She sucked in a breath. “I’m not good at this.”

“At what?”

“At monogamy.” Her voice trembled and this uncharacteristic outward vulnerability tore at him. He wanted to gather her up and hold her close. But he needed to break this stubborn refusal to let him in first. Once he’d done that, he’d show her the gentleness she deserved.

“You’ve never tried it.” Because no other man had ever demanded it of her before. But he wasn’t any other man. He’d have all of her and prove she was right to make that decision.