“Careful. Talismans are not toys. Treat them with respect and a good dose of fear, because they’ll destroy anything in their path. You can’t even look at it if it’s engaged.”

“But you’ve seen it.”

“It won’t hurt the warrior it belongs to. Anyone else, even another warrior, has to close his eyes when the light is released.”

“I’m glad you didn’t have that thing in high school.” She smiled. “All the guys were afraid of you and your brothers. None of them dared ask me out on a date. Only one had the nerve to ask me to dance.”

“Who?”

“Zack Anderson. He was new.”

“Where was I?” Cody asked.

“Home cleaning your room, unless you followed me. Remember the race I won?”

“Aye. I didn’t realize we were such a pain. We were just trying to look out for you. There were a lot of guys interested in you, and we didn’t want—”

“What guys? No one would come near me.”

“That was because we…” Cody stopped.

Shay narrowed her eyes. “Because you what?”

“We made sure they didn’t get close.”

“Why?”

“We weren’t sure if they were guys.”

“You mean… you mean they could’ve been demons?” she squeaked. “In high school?”

“They don’t come full grown,” Cody said.

“I never considered… kids?”

“That’s why Dad and Nina didn’t want you going to public school. Dad had to do security checks on everyone around you. Teachers, principals, kids, even the lunchroom attendants.”

“I just wanted to be like all the other girls. I was tired of tutors.”

“The other girls didn’t have a demon after them.”

“I thought you were just being overprotective. Renee always said I expected too much from men because of you guys. She had a crush on you when she was younger.”

“That changed,” he said dryly. “What do you think she meant about the letters? Why would she say she was sorry?”

Shay had forgotten that part in all the chaos. “I don’t know… oh, the missing letters, Renee was supposed to mail them.”

“That explains why I didn’t get them,” Cody said. “She didn’t want you talking to me.”

Could Renee have done such an awful thing? She knew how upset Shay had been about everything. Was that why Renee asked for forgiveness?

“Let’s try to get at least a few hours of sleep. We have a lot to do tomorrow.”

Shay tossed and turned, drawing her legs closer to her body, but she was too cold to sleep.

“What’re you doing over there? Wrestling?”

“I’m cold,” Shay said.

“It’s chillier up here on the mountain. Want my blanket?”

“You’ll freeze,” she said. What she wanted was him next to her. For warmth. For comfort. But how could she, when Renee could be hurting… or dead?

“I’ll be fine.” He spread his blanket over her and climbed back into bed, both of them staring at the dark space between them.

Shay rubbed her feet together, and a broken toenail made a scratching noise on the cheap sheets.

“What are you doing now?”

“My feet are still cold.”

He sighed, climbed out of bed again, and walked over to her. He stood for a few seconds, lifted the covers, and slid in. She started to protest, and then his skin brushed hers, warm as a heater. She rolled over, and he moved behind her, tucking his body close. She wedged her feet between his calves.

He sucked in a breath. “You’ve got the coldest feet on the planet, pip-squeak.”

“And you’ve got the warmest legs.” She relaxed against him, the warmth making her forget the wisdom of the matter, and let his hips cradle hers.

“Your birthmark looks darker than it used to,” he said, touching the spot at the top of her back. She felt a shiver, as she usually did when he touched her, but this one shook her. He wrapped his arms around her, obviously thinking she was still cold.

The odd-shaped mark on the back of her neck—Cody said it looked like a sliver of moon and three red stars; Lachlan said a toenail clipping and three warts—was hard to see unless she used a mirror. Even then, her hair usually covered the mark.

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you about the mate mark,” he said softly, his breath warm against her ear.

“Why didn’t you?”

“I’d planned to, that day I came to Lake Placid, and Renee stopped me. There were other times, when I couldn’t go another day without seeing you, but every time I got there, I talked myself out of it. I couldn’t be with you until I was finished with my duty, and I couldn’t let you be part of my world. Fighting demons is dangerous, in case you haven’t noticed.”

“But you’re twenty-eight. You’re finished with your duty. Why didn’t you come?”

“I did.” He slid his hand down her arm and linked his hand in hers. “You weren’t home. Some kid on the street told me he saw you walk down to the pub. I followed you. I got close enough to call out your name, when I saw the engagement ring. I was so stunned, I just left. I started to call Nina and ask who the guy was, but I was afraid if I found out I’d kill him for putting his ring on your finger when it should have been me. I didn’t know it was Jamie.”

Shay turned and faced him. “I’m sorry, Cody.” She touched the tattoo on his neck. He pulled in a breath. “Where is the mark?” she asked, shocked that the words slipped out.

He reached for her hand. Taking one finger, he moved it to a spot behind his ear that was usually covered by his hair. There was just enough light from the bathroom to show a circle with notched edges in the design, but looking closer, she could see it was different. He hadn’t tattooed over it, but all around it. A lump formed in her throat. She ran her finger over the mark and felt him shiver. Her hand tingled, then her arm, and her neck, until her whole body pulsed.

His eyes locked on hers, and Shay slid her hand around the back of his neck, pulling his mouth to hers. They were completely still, no sound except their breathing and the pulse pounding in Shay’s ears. He moved, she moved—she didn’t know which—but they kissed until Shay’s lips and tongue felt numb. Cody lifted his head long enough to roll her to her back. He moved over her, and she could feel his hips pressing against hers, rocking gently, then harder. With a muffled exclamation, Cody reached for her shirt. She lifted her arms, helping him slide it over her head. His gaze dropped past her father’s talisman to her breasts, softly touching them through her bra. His finger dipped underneath, then he shifted his weight off her and opened the clasp, groaning when her breasts were freed.

His hands and mouth were desperate, moving with such abandon that the two of them almost slid off the bed. He shifted to the side, and a second later, her jeans and panties, along with his underwear, landed on the floor. Shay stared at his body. He was perfect. Broad shoulders, flat stomach, and the sexiest hips and legs she’d ever seen on a man, not that she’d seen many. He settled between her thighs.

She grabbed his hips and pulled, nudging him inside. “Hurry. Please.”

He didn’t need any more encouragement. He buried himself inside her, his talisman clinking against hers as they moved. The pace was frenzied, cramming nine years of longing and need into every thrust, every grasp of fingers and touch of lips. Shay felt his teeth at her neck, and the feeling rushed at her, closer and closer, as breaths came faster. He locked his lips on hers as her body tightened, shattered into a billion pieces, and came back together again. He drove in hard, two more strokes, then stilled, his body pulsating inside hers. He collapsed, chest pounding against breasts. He dropped kisses along her forehead, her cheek, and her jaw.

“If I had any doubts that you’re my mate, not that I did, that just removed them.” He pulled out and rolled over, taking her with him. “Are you all right?”

“I guess so.” She’d never experienced anything like it, not even in her dreams, but already, doubts started creeping in. Renee, lying injured somewhere, maybe dead. The past. The mark. Cody getting distracted and dying. He’d never be able to focus on the battle now. “I should shower.”

He released her slowly. “I’d offer to help, but there’s barely enough room in there for a child.”

A child. Shay’s throat closed and her ears started to ring. Blood. Stark walls. Nurses yelling. She jumped up, scooped her clothes off the floor, and hurried to the bathroom without looking back. She locked the door, reached behind the shower curtain and turned on the water so he wouldn’t hear. Her mouth opened but nothing came out, just gulps of air, then a keening sound. Her arms cradled her stomach and she rocked back and forth as tears streamed down her face. The casket was so small she could have carried it in her arms. She stood at the edge of the hole, her heart numb, until a sharp edge of pain tore through. She dropped to the ground and sobbed, digging her fingers in the fresh dirt. Holding her hands across her stomach, she rocked back and forth as tears streamed down her face.

There was a tap on the door. “Shay?”

She froze. Had he heard her crying? She remembered that he could hear things most men couldn’t.

“Shay. Open the door.”

“In a minute.”

“Open the door, or I’m coming in.”

A fresh bout of tears rolled down her cheeks. She hadn’t had an episode like this in years, but when they hit, it was always unexpected, triggered by something simple, a tricycle on a sidewalk, a boy laughing and running with his dog.

She scrubbed at her face, and the door flew open. Cody stood, naked, his eyes worried, angry, afraid. “Care to explain what that was about?”

Shay grabbed a towel and held it against her stomach, covering herself. “I’m sorry. I just…”

“What? You just regretted it? You realized it was me in your bed and not Jamie?”

Shay gaped at him. “What does Jamie have to do with this?”

Cody reached over and shut off the shower. “Well, someone got between us in there. You almost married the guy. If it wasn’t him, who was it?”

“It had nothing to do with Jamie.”

His gaze was hard. “I don’t believe you.”

Her frustration, hurt, and anger spewed out like a volcano. “It wasn’t Jamie. It was the baby,” she yelled.

He looked like she’d slapped him. “Baby?” His gaze dropped to her stomach. He sat on the edge of the bathtub. “You’re pregnant?”

What had she done? God, what had she done?

He rubbed his hands through his hair, shook his head, and she waited for the questions. They weren’t what she expected.

“It doesn’t matter, Shay. Even if it’s Jamie’s, it’s still part of you.” He held his hand over his heart, his beautiful, strong fingers trembling only slightly. “I love you. I can love it too.”

Shay stared at Cody, her eyes filling with tears again. “I’m not pregnant, but I was, nine years ago.”

Chapter 11

“Nine…” Cody’s expression went through several levels of shock. “A baby,” he whispered. “We made a baby? You and me?”

“Yes.”

Raw emotion swept over his face. “But where is it?”

“Something went wrong. It was born too early.”

“Why didn’t you tell—that’s what was in the letters?”

“I didn’t mention the baby, I just said I needed you to come.”

“And you thought I didn’t care?” His voice strangled with hurt. “I would have done anything for you.”

“I’m sorry. I should have known, but after everything that happened, after I wouldn’t talk to you, I figured you were mad at me, or that you’d just moved on. I should have kept calling.”

“A baby? We made a baby.” Cody rubbed his hands over his face, his eyes lost.

Shay could still see the stark walls of the emergency room and the blood running down her legs, pooling on the white floor, so much blood for something so tiny and frail. The nurses rushing her to the delivery room as her uterus contracted, expelling the life it held before it could take its first breath. “I was five months pregnant. Five months and twenty-two days. No one knew, not even Renee, until I went to the hospital.” Shay’s voice dropped to a whisper and then cracked. “It was a boy. He’s buried in Lake Placid, in a small graveyard close to where I lived. That’s where I was the day you came to the apartment. I was burying him. Renee was sick and couldn’t come.” Shay had named him Alexander. She would tell Cody that later.

“You buried him alone? Oh God, Shay.” He dropped to his knees in front of her and pulled her close, his head pressed to her hair. A tear fell on her forehead and rolled down her cheek. They sat in the bathroom, her on the toilet, him kneeling before her, not speaking, just touching, grieving for a life they created and lost. She had carried her secret for so long it stripped her bare to finally share her grief, to acknowledge her son, Cody’s son, after having to hide him from everyone. Hiding his existence had been almost as hard as carrying him inside her, feeling the little kicks and hiccups, and then having to bury him in the cold ground.