Alessandra Torre - End of the Innocence

“I don’t want to go back,” I whispered. “Burge knows, he might say something to me, Sheila is going to write me a bad recommendation, and everyone keeps pointing and whispering.” A surge of anger hit me, and I pulled back, reaching out punching his hard chest. “This is your fault! I didn’t want to tell anyone, and now everyone knows!” He caught my fist before it landed another blow and tried to frown at me, the corners of his mouth fighting to turn up.

“Julia. I need you to be strong on this. Fuck the office. I’m getting my own pushback from the staff. We need to be united, a team. The girl I fell in love with doesn’t hide in the corner on stuff like this.”

Fuck. How could I respond to that? He was right; I was normally good in situations like this. I wasn’t an embracer of confrontation, but I could hold my own. Why was I hiding in my office? I sighed, leaning back into his arms. He tightened his hold on me, and I closed my eyes, taking a last, delicious moment of feeling sorry for myself.  Then I straightened, keeping my arms around him and looked up into his face. “Okay.”

He frowned, wiping moisture gently off my cheeks. “You always say that, and I never know what it means.”

“Okay. I’ll stop being a baby about it.”

He grinned, leaning down and brushing his lips against me. “Good.” He glanced over at Martha. “Martha, how much longer do you need?”

She shrugged. “It’s ready now.”

We ate, just the two of us, at the kitchen table. Martha had fixed a plate and taken it upstairs, her preferred way of dining. Brad drank from his glass of tea and looked at me. “Let’s talk about your parents.”

I chewed furiously, trying to get the piece of pork chop down my throat before I spoke. “Okay.”

“I know next to nothing about them.”

I shrugged. “There’s not much to know. They’re pretty normal.”

He smiled wryly at me. “Well, I’m not too familiar with normal. Humor me.”

“Okay. Mom’s a botanist. She works for a co-op of local farmers, helping to increase their field’s production, developing hybrid strains of cotton, that kind of thing. Dad’s retired from Gulfstream—he spends most of his time fishing or going to garage sales, a hobby that drives my mother absolutely crazy.” I grinned for a moment, forgetting the horror that had been my day. “I should go home more. With school and work ... I haven’t been home as often as I should. But, now that you’ll be driving me crazy, I am sure I’ll make the pilgrimage more often.”

A look of mock pain crossed his face. “That’s mean. Really mean.”

“I’m sure your ego can handle it.”

His brows knitted as he chewed. “So what exactly are they going to think of me?”

I laughed, covering my food-filled mouth with my hand. “I have absolutely no idea.” It sounded terrible, but I wanted this engagement to cause him at least half the discomfort it was causing me.

“I erred in not asking your father for your hand before I proposed.”

I shrugged. “He won’t care. It’s not like he knows whether you are good for me or not. Actually, it probably works in your favor that he doesn’t know anything about you.”

“I would defend that statement if it wasn’t accurate. So, how do you propose we tell them?”

My fork froze. I hadn’t actually considered the fact that I would need to tell my parents. Now, it seemed ridiculous that the thought hadn’t crossed my mind, especially with all of the questions he had just asked me. “Do we have to tell them now?”

“Why would we wait?”

“Ummm ...” I slowly moved my fork the rest of the distance to my mouth, chewing the meat ridiculously slow. I mumbled the next sentence through pork and saliva, hoping that the words wouldn’t translate properly. “Because I may not have told them that I broke up with Luke.”

“What?” He moved the fork away from my face. “I couldn’t understand that through your mastication of food.”

I slumped, finished the chewing process and repeated the sentence.

He shook his head in disbelief. “Why not? It’s been, what, almost two months? Isn’t that the type of thing that comes up in phone calls?”

“My parents raised me to be independent. Ever since I left for college, I haven’t been in as close of contact with Mom and Dad. It’s not that they aren’t interested in my life—they have just encouraged me to spread my wings, live my own life. Luke loved my parents, and Mom really took to him. I guess I’ve just put off making the call to tell her. I didn’t really want to hear her thoughts on the matter, especially once my decision was made.” The reminder of Luke’s reaction to our breakup—his repeated calls, guilt trips, his insistent to let our relationship go—made me frown. The truth of the matter was, I hadn’t really wanted to speak ill of him, to explain in honest terms to my mother the multiple reasons behind my decision. I looked up, meeting Brad’s steady gaze. “It hadn’t, at the time of the break-up, seemed like urgent, I-must-share-this-right-now news. And now, two months later, I just haven’t got around to telling her yet.”

He stood, walking over to my bag and rummaging through it, then returned to the table and set my cell in front of me. “Call her. Now.”

“Fuck you. I’m not calling her now.” I shoved the phone to the side and defiantly scooped up some mashed potatoes.

“If you don’t call her now, you’ll wait weeks, and then you’ll have to explain why you waited so long to tell her the news. My family already knows. When they meet I don’t want you stressing out the whole time over whether your mom will find out how long we have been engaged.”

My jaw dropped. “When they meet? They aren’t meeting.”

He raised his brows at me as he stood over me, still pushing that damn phone toward me, somehow making the infuriating gesture look sexy. I picked up the iPhone and threw it, the landing making a satisfying crack against stone that caused both pleasure and despair to shoot through me. But at least I wouldn’t have to call my mother.

He smirked, which pissed me off even more.

I stood, the heavy chair beneath me not cooperating, and I untangled myself from it until I was beside him—still six infuriating inches too short to meet his gaze full on. “I’m not introducing my lovable family to your bloodthirsty vulture nest.”

He staggered back, his hand across his heart in mock pain. “Dearest, that is my blood you speak of.” He stepped forward again, gripping my waist sternly and bringing me to him. “I’ll have to ask you to take that back.”

I narrowed my eyes at him and pushed him back, the damn man for once cooperating, releasing my waist and leaning back against the table, our eyes now level. “You plan on us being married and our families not meeting? That’s not going to work out. Besides, your family will love my family. Trust me. They’re Italian. Being warm and hospitable is second nature to them.”

“So are iron suitcases and broken hubcaps!”

He tilted his head at me, a large grin crossing his face. “I think you confused that ... never mind. Let’s cross one disastrous bridge at a time. Do you want us to go to your parents, or should I bring them here?”

My body was on the verge of a breakdown—stress, anticipation, and anger all fighting losing battles inside of me. I imagined Brad’s huge body in my mother’s small kitchen, her Southern hospitality ingrained insistence that we stay with her, my tiny bed, the house hot, her thermostat religiously resting at seventy-eight degrees. Then I imagined my dad here, lost in Brad’s huge house, his worn-out suitcase rattling and rolling around the stone floors, him finding a gun when he reached for a toothbrush. Panic started to set in, spots appearing in the air between him and me.

My face must have shown something, for concern lit Brad’s face, and he reached forward, pulling me gently to him and hugging me against his chest. I sagged there, my arms stretching around his body to grip him tightly. My cheek pressed against the silk blend of his dress shirt, and I inhaled the scent of him—slight citrus, masculine, ocean, spice. A delicious blend of everything. “Just call them, babe. We don’t have to worry about making travel plans yet. Just call them, tell them the news, and then let me talk to them.”

I murmured a string of words against his hard chest, the word ‘phone’ slipping out into the open air. He straightened me, my legs wobbly before finding firm footing, my eyes focusing on him. Then he reached in his pocket and pulled out his cell, handing it to me with a warning look.

“Don’t throw it.”

I hefted the phone in my hand—his seemed pounds heavier than mine, though that was impossible. Then I sighed, pressed in the digits for my family’s home phone, held the phone to my ear, and hoped like hell no one was home.

I should have prayed instead. The phone didn’t ring three times before my mother answered, her voice breathless, as if she had sprinted across the house to answer the call.

“Mom, you sound busy. I can call back.” I spun, walking across the kitchen and opening the back door, which lead to the porch.

“What? No no no. This is perfect, sweetie. What number are you calling from? And did you get my message? I called you last week ...” Her voice dropped off, and I hoped it was a rhetorical question. I really needed to get in the habit of checking my voicemail more often. Heaven forbid it had been something important.

I closed my eyes tightly, rubbing my temples, and tried to find the right words to get this over with. She spoke on, not waiting for a response. “What’s going on with you? Your father is here, but he’s in the garage, building something that I’m sure he’ll want to bring into the house. I swear, Julia, that man ... he would fill my whole home with other people’s garbage if I didn’t keep him in line.” She huffed into the phone, and I could imagine her in the kitchen, fixing dinner with the phone tucked between her neck and shoulder.

“I have some news, but I don’t want you to freak out when I tell you.” I waited expectantly for reassurance that I knew would never come.

A pause. A stilling of whatever she had been doing that had created noise. “Oh. My. God. What happened? Is it cancer?”

“No! I’m healthy and fine.” I spoke quickly, trying to head off her panic attack before it came.

“Well, dammit, Julia. You almost gave me a heart attack. Please don’t start a conversation like that; it’s terrifying to a woman my age.”

I gripped the chair’s arms, and fought the urge to rock the damn thing so hard the rockers would break off. “I ended things with Luke. A few months ago. I—”

“What? No you haven’t.” The relief in her voice, along with the certainty of her tone, caught me off guard.

“I know it seems sudden, but—”

“A few months ago? Julia, what are you talking about? Luke is here, waiting on your internship to finish up.”

I stopped rocking completely, my mouth involuntarily falling open. “What? What do you mean here?”

“Here, here. He’s in the garage with your father right now. He’s been here a few days; I put him up in your room.”

“WHAT? Are you crazy!”

“Between the two of us, you are the one acting crazy.” Her voice took on an edge of irritation. “He’s almost family. I wasn’t going to turn him away when he showed up on Thursday. I left you a message about it then. Besides, we all assumed you’d come home for a visit as soon as your internship wrapped up. When does your internship finish? We don’t have any details on it, or on your new place.” The sound of the mixer started in the background. She seemed to have completely missed the entire focus of this conversation.

I breathed loudly into the phone. “Mom. Get him out of there. I broke up with him months ago. He is being a crazy stalker; I can’t believe he is there!”

“Julia. Stop getting worked up. This is Luke we are talking about. He’s not a stalker. He’s the sweetest boy you’ve ever been with, I can assure you of that.”

“Mom, you don’t know half the people I’ve been with, so you can’t assure me of anything. Where is Dad? Let me talk to him.”

“I am not putting your father on so you can spout this nonsense to him. When your internship is finished, come home. We can discuss this then, and you and Luke can work out whatever tiff you are having so we can continue with wedding plans. Trust me, these things blow over, and he has been such good company to your father this week.”