J. Cooper - Everlasting Sin

“Save your energy for the fight,” I whispered to myself as I ran. That’s all I could tell myself.

I couldn’t afford to make a wrong step and not get the opportunity to attend the championships. I needed to win the million dollars. I needed to support Clara’s mom since I knew that was her greatest wish, and I also wanted to give money to Jamilah’s mom. I was worried about her.

I’d seen her right before the fight, and she’d looked stressed. I knew that she was leaving the kids at home while she went to work, but what could I say? I knew she needed the money, and I tried to babysit whenever I could. It broke my heart that Jamilah and Marcus were left alone so many nights, but I didn’t know what I could do without interfering. If I won the million dollars, maybe Jamilah’s mom could look for a new job and get someone to help her watch the kids.

I stopped by a tree trunk, sweat dripping down my face. I felt like I had a world of worries on my shoulders, but all I could think about was Riley. I wondered what she was doing at that very moment. I sighed and sat on the ground as I tried to sort out my thoughts. I stilled as I heard footsteps approaching me.

“Thanks for agreeing to walk with me.” Channing’s voice sounded smarmy, and I frowned.

“No worries,” Riley replied, and I froze. What was she doing with him?

“You’re so pretty.”

“Thank you.”

“You’re single right?”

“Yes.”

No, I wanted to shout, she’s not single! She’s mine! But I just remained still and clenched my fists.

“Good, I’m single as well.”

“Oh nice.” Riley’s voice sounded uncertain, and I was annoyed at her. I didn’t know why she wasn’t shutting him down right away.

“We should go on a date when we get back.”

“Okay,” she replied, and it took everything I had to not run out and grab her.

“What do you like to do?”

“To do?”

“On dates?”

“Oh, lots of stuff.”

“Do you like riding?” Channing’s voice was soft, and I felt my blood boiling.

“Riding?” Riley sounded confused.

“Yeah, I love girls that love to ride,” Channing laughed, and I stood up, ready to go and hit him.

“I can’t say I’ve ever been. I’ve never really been around horses,” she replied, and I smiled.

“Do you like dogs?”

“Yeah, why?”

“I love doggie style.”

“Excuse me?” Her voice rose and I could hear the shock in her tone.

“I’m joking,” Channing replied smoothly, and I knew that he was trying to play it smooth.

I wasn’t sure if he really liked her or if he was playing with her to try to get to me, but I knew that there was no way I was going to let him sleep next to her tonight. I knew he would try and pull something. I didn’t trust him at all and I wasn’t going to just wait to see what happened.

I waited until they had walked some more and then I ran back to the camp. Most of the other guys were sitting around drinking beers. I walked over to the bags, quickly grabbed Riley’s sleeping bag, and ran off. I ran deep into the woods and threw it behind some rocks before running back.

“Hudson, want a Bud Light?” Justin called out to me, and I nodded.

“Thanks.” I took it and sat next to him. “Looks like this should be a fun weekend,” I said casually.

“Yeah, it should be cool.” He nodded. “You and Channing going to be okay?”

“Why shouldn’t we be?”

“I don’t know.” He shrugged.

“I have no problem with him,” I lied.

“Oh okay.” Justin chugged some of his beer, and it looked like he was about to say something when Channing and Riley arrived back to the camp. “Hey, guys. You want a beer.”

“Of course.” Channing ran over and grabbed a beer. I watched as Riley followed him slowly and took one.

“Are you sure about that, Riley?” I frowned at her and she blushed.

“Yes.” She opened the tab and took a long gulp.

“Fine.” I shook my head and looked away from her. “So what’s the plan for tonight, guys?”

“I thought I’d have an early night.” Channing grinned at me. “You never can be too prepared.”

“Prepared for what?” Justin asked him.

“People screaming or shouting.” Channing stared at me. “Or scratching and sucking.”

“What?” Justin looked confused, and Channing turned around and laughed. “Nothing.”

Fucking asshole, was all I could think as I stared at his cocky face.

“I’m going to go and change.” Riley looked at me for a second and then walked over to the bags. “Shit!” she cried out, and I saw her pacing around. I stayed where I was, not wanting her to get suspicious if I jumped up too quickly. “Hey, guys, has anyone seen my sleeping bag?” She walked up to us, her face a deep red. “It’s missing.”

“It can’t be missing.” I frowned.

“Well, it’s no longer there,” she snapped back at me.

“Are you sure?” I asked slowly, giving her a look.

“Yes, I’m sure.” She glared at me, and I bit back a smile.

“Let me see.” I jumped up and walked to the sleeping bags with her. “I don’t see it.”

“That’s what I just said.”

“What are you going to do?”

“What do you mean, what am I going to do?” She glared at me. “I don’t have many choices, do I? I guess I’ll sleep on the ground.”

“Okay.” I shrugged and turned away. Then I stopped and turned back to her. “You can share my bag.”

“What?” Her eyes widened and she shook her head. “I can’t do that.”

“I have a double. It’ll be fine.”

“I can’t sleep in the same bag as you.”

“Why not? Would you rather be in Channing’s bag?” I shot at her jealously.

“No.” Her eyes narrowed at me. “Not at all.”

“Then what’s the problem?”

“I can’t.” She looked away from me.

“We’re friends, right?” I took a step towards her and waited for her to look up at me.

She nodded. “Yeah.”

“Then share my bag with me. I’m not going to have you sleeping on the ground.” Or with Channing.

“Fine.” She nodded. “I’ll try and keep to my side.”

“Good.” I nodded back at her.

“Good.” I watched as she swallowed.

I couldn’t stop myself from staring at her body. I felt a tightening in my chest as I realized that I was going to be sharing a sleeping bag with her. What was I doing to myself? Was I a glutton for punishment?

“I’m going to go and shower,” she said slowly and I nodded.

“Fine.”

“I’m going to go to sleep early.” Her eyes searched mine. “I’ll probably be asleep by the time you get in the bag.”

“I’ll try not to disturb you.”

“Thanks.” She smiled weakly, and I turned away from her, walking back over to the guys.

I saw Channing giving me a look of hatred and I didn’t feel anything. If he only knew the reality of the situation. I hated myself at that moment as well.

Riley

Present Day

I lay in the sleeping bag with my heart racing. I tried to count sheep to make myself fall asleep, but nothing was working. I just couldn’t fall asleep. My body was on edge waiting for Hudson to get into the bag with me. I wasn’t sure what had happened to my own bag, but I felt like this was some sort of sick retribution for the secret I was keeping. It was going to be the sweetest kind of hell sharing a sleeping bag with Hudson—having him so close to me, yet so far. It wasn’t like I would be able to touch him or kiss him. Not like I wanted to. I closed my eyes and took a few deep breaths to ensure that I didn’t start crying. That was the last thing I needed.

“Night, Hudson,” I heard Justin say before walking back to the campsite.

“See you in the morning.” Hudson’s voice was smooth, and I shivered. This was it; he was on the way back to the sleeping bag.

I squeezed my eyes tight and lay there curled up. I heard him stop next to the bag, but I wasn’t sure what he was doing. I felt like I’d waited for over an hour for him to finally get into the sleeping bag, but I knew it had only been a couple of minutes, if that.

I froze as I felt him sliding his body into the sleeping bag. He moved very slowly, and I guessed that was because he didn’t want to wake me up. His arm brushed against mine and it left a trail of fire on my skin. I waited to see how he would settle in the bag and was disappointed when he lay back and left distance between us. I pretended to yawn and rolled over so that I was closer to his body. He stilled as I crashed into him. I kept my eyes closed but moved my hand over his waist.

“Riley?” he whispered, but I kept my eyes closed. I felt his arm move around my waist, and I moved in closer to him, pretending to still be asleep. I gasped inwardly as I felt my hand touch his naked chest. My eyes peeked open to confirm that he had no shirt on. “Riley,” he whispered again, and I felt his hands on my face. I looked up at him slowly and saw a smile on his face. “Did I wake you up?”

“No.” I shook my head and made a face.

“Am I making you hot?”

“No.” I shook my head again. “In fact, you’re warming me up. I was a little cold.”

“Oh, well we can’t have you lying there cold.” He put both his arms around me then and pulled me closer to him. I shifted my legs and found them rubbing up against his. “I love the feel of your smooth legs against my hairy ones,” he whispered in my ear, and I giggled.

“You could have smooth legs too.”

“Are you telling me to shave them?” He made a face, and I shook my head.

“I’d never say that.” I ran my fingers against his chest hair. “That’s what makes you a man.”

He raised an eyebrow at me. “My chest hair makes me a man?”

“Not just your chest hair.”

“Oh good, I was about to say. I thought it was my dick that made me a man.”

“Hudson.” I pinched him and he chuckled.

“Sorry.” He stroked my hair and sighed. “This was a bad idea.”

“What was a bad idea?”

“Having you sleep with me.”

“Why?”

“Because I want to do so much more than sleep.” He looked at me then, but I didn’t know what to say to him. How could I tell him that I wanted to do more than just sleep with him as well? “Sorry. Did I upset you?”

“No.” I shook my head, and he sighed.

“I’ve missed you.” He gave me a sweet smile. “You look so beautiful. I’m so proud of the woman you’ve become.”

“I missed you too.” I bit my lower lip and stared into his eyes. “I’m sorry I came on this trip. I know you didn’t want me to.”

“I’m glad you came.”

“Why?” I asked in a hushed tone. My heart was thudding and I felt like I was getting a fever from being so close to him.

“Because I get to do this.” He leaned forward and kissed me, his eyes never leaving mine. His lips tasted salty, and I kissed him back. Our lips connected for a few seconds before he pulled back. “Sorry.” He sighed and rubbed his forehead. “I shouldn’t have done that.”

“I didn’t say no.”

He shook his head. “We shouldn’t do this again.”

“Fine.” I pulled away from him slightly. I was hurt. I was so into him, and I wanted to touch him again so badly, but he just seemed to want to push me away.

“Don’t be upset.” He grabbed me around the waist and pulled me towards him. “What are you doing to me, Riley?”

“Nothing,” I mumbled, frustrated and confused.

“I want to kiss you again,” he sighed, and I felt his fingers running up and down my back.

“You can kiss me again.”

“No.” He shook his head. “I can’t.”

“Why not?” I asked, disappointed.

“I want to do more than kiss you, Riley. I want to hold you and touch you. I want to feel you. I want to make love to you.” He groaned as I grabbed his hand and placed it on my breast. “What are you doing to me?”

“I want to make love to you as well,” I whispered against his lips. “I want to taste and feel you, too.”

“We can’t do this.” He shook his head. “I’m not good for you.”

“Let me decide that.” I licked his lips.

“Riley,” he groaned. “You don’t know how badly I want this to happen, but I can’t. I just can’t.”

“Don’t you like me?” I whispered, hurt.

“Don’t you get it?” His fingers gripped my chin and made me look at him. “I more than like you, Riley. I’ve always liked you. But look what happened. What we did. What I did. I don’t deserve you. I have things I have to do.”