Kerry thumbed the button and let the phone fall to her lap. She looked up as soft footfalls sounded from the study and Dar appeared, scrubbing her fingers through disheveled dark hair. The taller woman ambled over and perched on the back of the couch. “Trouble?” Dar gauged her expression.

“Sort of.” Kerry let her head rest against the cool leather, and stroked Chino’s soft fur. “That was my sister.”

“Yeah?”

The green eyes took on an almost gray hue. “She was just giving me fair warning. I’m…being shunned during the hearings.” Kerry was surprised at how much that hurt. “Even by her.”

Dar snorted in surprise, making Chino jump. “And here I liked her.”

“I don’t blame her, Dar. She’s…I mean, she’s got to deal with them all the time. I don’t.” Long fingers scratched her neck comfortingly and she closed her tired eyes. “It stings, though.”

The phone rang again, startling both of them, and this time Dar slipped the receiver out of Kerry’s hands and answered it. “Hello?”

“Hey, Dardar.”

Her father sounded exhausted, but peaceful. A wave of relief crashed over her. “Hi.”

“Damn plane made it,” Andrew rasped.

“So I gathered. Mom there?”

A long silence. “Yeah.”

Dar nodded to herself. “You okay?” She found fingers laced with hers and she turned to see Kerry’s anxious gaze on her.

Even longer silence. “I’m all right,” Andrew finally muttered. “We’re gonna…” He stopped speaking for a few heartbeats.

Must be the “we.” Dar tensed her lips.

“Get going. I um…listen, is Kerry there?”

“Sure. She’s right here.” Dar gave her puzzled lover a faint shrug.

“Wouldya…just tell her I said thanks,” her father muttered. “I owe her one.”

Dar’s brows knit. “All right. I’ll tell her. Listen, if you need anything, you call, okay? Thanks for letting us know you got there in one piece.”

“Wouldn’t say that,” Andrew muttered. “’Night.”

Dar put the phone down slowly and smiled at her lover. “He said to say thank you.”

“To me?” Kerry looked confused, then her expression cleared. “Oh.”

“Oh?” Dar stretched out along the back of the loveseat, jungle cat Eye of the Storm 153

style.

“I um…arranged for some ice cream. I figured he wouldn’t like a vinaigrette pasta salad just going on what I know about his daughter.”

Dar smiled. “He said he owes you one.” She curled a hand over Kerry’s shoulder. “Thanks. That was incredibly thoughtful of you, Ker.”

Kerry glanced down, then back up, and squared her shoulders.

“Hey. You guys are the only family I’ve got. Gotta make sure you’re taken care of.” She managed to hold her composure until Dar’s lips tensed and she lifted a hand to touch Kerry’s cheek. Then she turned and rested her head against her lover’s chest. “Oh god, Dar. I never even talk to them. Why does this hurt so much?”

“’Cause you love them,” was the quiet, truthful response. “And having that turned away does hurt.”

They rested quietly together, with only the soft whisper of the television behind them. Then Kerry shifted slightly. “Dar?”

“Mmm?”

“I think I understand why your dad was afraid to go home.” Kerry rubbed her thumb against the short, fine hairs on Dar’s arm. Her eyes slowly lifted to meet the serious blue ones above her. “It’s a very scary, very vulnerable feeling.”

“I know.” Dar leaned forward and touched foreheads with her. “But I knew my father was going to be all right.”

Kerry could almost taste her, she was that close. “You did?”

“Yeah.” Dar’s voice dropped to a whisper. “Because my mother feels about him the way I feel about you.”

“Oh.” Kerry smiled as the ache in her guts eased. She closed her eyes as Dar tilted her head and they kissed.

Guess that’s all right, then.

THERE WAS A faint rumble of thunder overhead as they left the airport, moving from the bland fluorescent glare out into a stark landscape outlined briefly in periodic lightning. Andrew shifted his overnight bag and blinked, feeling unsure and awkward, not really convinced he was here or that the whole thing was happening.

A hand slipped into his, warm and unexpected, and curled around his fingers in a strong grip. “This way,” Ceci murmured as she led him towards the car.

“All right.” Andrew altered his steps to match hers, slowing down and trying to concentrate on just how damn nice holding someone’s hand was.

She unlocked the doors remotely, and hesitantly let go of him before walking around to the driver’s side and getting in. Ceci settled into place and closed the door, then paused and turned her head. She felt like closing her eyes, then opening them, closing, then opening…just to prove to herself this was no dream. He looked back quietly, the lamplight sending glints of reflection off his pale eyes. “I’m…not really sure I can drive.”


154 Melissa Good He looked down, then back up. “Slept in worse places.” The voice was huskier than she remembered, but still held that faint, wry tone. The scars were vivid and cruel, but did nothing to remove the rugged nobility that was as much a part of him as the drawl, and the strength, and the character.

And the eyes hadn’t changed at all. Ceci very gently touched his jaw, running her fingers along the side of his face as he stayed absolutely still, the dark lashes dropping to cover his eyes. Her hand touched the still dark hair, lightly frosted with silver and she tugged, just a tiny bit of it.

“Have to get you a haircut.”

The eyes opened and his soul looked out at her timidly, the fear of rejection so obvious to her it made the tears well up in her eyes yet again.

His jaw tensed and she cupped it, all the things needing to be said piling up and leaving her mute.

Maybe she didn’t need to say them. Maybe he knew like he had always seemed to with her. His body relaxed a bit and he exhaled, warming her arm and sending goose bumps traveling up it. “Want me t’drive?”

Memories long buried stirred. “Have you gotten any better at it?”

Ceci asked, with shy humor.

“Nope,” Andrew admitted.

“I guess I’d better get on with it then.” She took a deep breath, then straightened and started the car, turning on the wiper blades against the newly started rain. The light obligingly turned green as she exited, and she entered the highway, resting her arm on the center console as she watched the road.

After a moment, fingers tangled with hers and the world seemed to float peacefully by, enclosing them in a bubble of timeless wonder.

ANDREW SAT QUIETLY on the couch, only his head swiveling back and forth as he regarded the painfully neat apartment surrounding him.

Kid was right. He let a breath out slowly, running his fingers over the oatmeal colored cloth that covered the sofa. Place looks like a damn hospital, only the chairs aren’t half as nice to sit in.

His eyes lifted to the picture on the wall, whose form and shape he recognized as Ceci’s work, one he’d never seen before. It seemed to add color to the room, but to his knowing gaze, the somber shades and bleak lines painted an entirely different scene.

Well. He wished this part were over. This was the part where they both had to pony up the truth, and maybe go past it, and maybe not.

Andrew stared at the opposing wall. He’d already gotten further than he’d allowed himself to dream of and now…

Now he was in damned uncharted waters, with no damn lifejacket and fins poking up through the whitecaps.

“Here.” Cecilia had come in from the kitchen and now she handed him a mug. “You look like you could use this.” She sat down next to him with her own cup and cradled it in both hands, sipping at its contents in Eye of the Storm 155

silence.

Andrew tasted the liquid. Coffee, double strength with a ton of sugar. He had to pause a bit before he swallowed, to let the tightness in his throat relax. “Nobody ever made this like you.” He looked at her, watching her hands tighten on the cup she held. “Cec—”

“You know,” Cecilia interrupted him softly, “part of me wants to know…what happened. Where you’ve been…”

He lowered his gaze.

“But there’s another part of me that doesn’t. That part of me just wants to sit here and look at you…and touch you...and…” She had to stop and breathe. “And somehow make myself believe you’re here,” her voice cracked, “and it doesn’t have to hurt anymore.”

Somehow, he got his cup and her cup on the table before a drop spilled, then captured her hands.

Still in silence.

What could he say?

Ceci took a moment, then bit her trembling lip. “After they came and told me…” She paused and swallowed. “I didn’t know what to do. I felt like I was breaking apart into a thousand different pieces. Everything I did, everything I saw…” Her eyes closed. “It was like laying my heart on glass shards.” The tears ran her face again and Andrew moved closer, sliding one arm around her for support.

She caught her breath. “I finally realized that the only way I’d survive it is to…” She looked around mutely.

“Ditch the memories?” Andrew supplied.

“No.” She scrubbed away fresh tears. “Just hide them.” She sighed.

“Take away everything I’d known before. Just…lock out that part of me.”

“Even Dar?”

The gray eyes went bleak. “Especially Dar,” Ceci whispered. “Andy.

I’m sorry. I know I was wrong to do that. I know how much it must have hurt.” She cradled her head. “How much it hurt me knowing how you’d feel about me doing that. I knew how you felt about her.” She gasped. “I just didn’t have a choice. I couldn’t…stand the pain…and it was the only w-way.”

Andrew gently pulled her head over and tucked it against his chest, stroking the silver blonde hair in silent grief. “Ceci, I’m sorry,” he finally rasped. “I’da torn my guts out before I’d have done that to you.”

She huddled against him. “Then why did you?” she whispered.

Andrew closed his eyes. “That thing I had to go for wasn’t for what you thought it was. Wasn’t for what everybody knew.” He drew a breath in. “Was a place…had a squad of twenty two men stuck in it. Place I’d been to way back. Team I was with...I was the only one still kicking.”

Ceci lifted her head and looked at him. His face tensed in pain.

“Twenty two of ’em, Ceci,” his voice held a helpless, lost note, “came to me, and I…traded them twenty-two souls for mine.” He stopped for a long moment. “And I did, ’cept they caught on coming out and somebody had to hold ’em.” He blinked and an errant bit of water emerged. “And I 156 Melissa Good thought,” the pitch dropped very low, “there weren’t nothing for me to go back to.”

Cecilia went still.

“So they got me.”

A soft moan.

“And they tried their damndest on me, but a man’s gotta care about somethin’ for you t’do that and I didn’t.” Andy’s whole face twitched. “I cursed ’em for not trying harder.” He paused. “Five and some damn years. ’Bout the only thing kept me half sane was thinking of you.” His voice softened. “Wishin’ things were different,” he whispered. “Hurtin’

that we parted mad.”

Cecilia gave a shuddering gasp. “Andy, I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean what I said.”

“Yeah. Me neither.” He sighed. “Anyhow, guess I was just too damn stubborn in the end. One day stuff got loud, next thing I knew, I was on a boat headed home.” There was an awkward pause. “They patched me up best they could…set me loose.”

She lifted her head and looked him in the eye. “I told you I wouldn’t be there if you came back.”

He nodded silently.

“You believed me.”

Hesitantly, he blinked. “Didn’t have the guts to find out one way or t’other.” He stopped and closed his eyes. “Didn’t want to know if you hadn’t.”

“I was…just trying to get you to stay,” Ceci whispered. “I would have waited my whole life for you.” She buried her face in his sweatshirt.

“I’ve missed you so much.”

Andrew let his chin rest against her soft hair. “Same here.”

They were quiet for a while, as the tension eased and the air cleared.

“Andy?” Cecilia murmured, after a bit.

“Mmm?”

“I’m…very tired…of hurting,” she said slowly. “And I can’t change what happened.”

“No.”

“Can we just start again?” She searched his face intently. “Please?”

His head tilted slightly as he thought, intense blue eyes drinking her in with characteristic seriousness. “I do think I’d like that,” he finally said, lacing his fingers in hers. “Let’s do it.”