“You lied to me!” It was one of the few times she had screamed at him, but he led her inside like a little girl, and she glowered at them both. But the doctor found nothing wrong with her. Her glands seemed fine, her chest was clear, her blood count was all right, and then without saying anything to them, he had an idea. He did the test with the blood he had taken from her arm, and he called Bill with the results that night, and he was stunned when he heard. Stunned and thrilled and afraid. She was pregnant again. This time he hadn't even thought of it. And he was afraid to put her through another disaster again.

“Just have her do what she's doing now. Her body knows what she needs. She needs lots of rest, good food, as little stress as possible. All she has to do is lie low for a couple of months and she'll be fine.” Bill nodded, and went into the other room to talk to her. She was watching TV, and she was thinking of calling Gail, and he encouraged her to now, with a quiet smile.

“I think you should, sweetheart.”

“How come?”

“To tell her the news.”

“What news?” Anne looked blank.

He leaned over and kissed her tenderly on the lips, “The news that you're pregnant again.”

Her eyes grew wide. “I am? Who told you that?”

“The doctor just now. He just called. He didn't even tell us he was running the test, but you are.”

“I am?” She looked stunned and then suddenly she threw her arms around his neck, fighting back tears. “Oh Bill …” She didn't even dare say the words this time. She didn't even tell Gail. She didn't tell anyone, until the ominous three-month period had passed, and this time all went well. By September, the doctor was no longer concerned, and the baby was due in February, possibly on Valentine's Day. Her other child would have been five and a half years old by then, though neither of them mentioned that. They just talked about this child, and Bill knew how badly she wanted it. He treated her as though she were walking on eggs. They took no trips, barely went out, Anne rested constantly, and Bill spoiled her even more than he had before.

Faye called her several times, and told her she hoped it was all going well, but Anne's voice was cold on the phone. She and her mother had been through this before, and she remembered the pressure she had put on her then. She hated talking to her now, because it reminded her of it. She even hated talking to Lionel, because it reminded her of living with him and John, waiting for her first baby to be born.

Gail called them as often as she could from New York, and asked how big she was. Anne laughed and claimed she was huge, and when Val saw her one day on Rodeo Drive, she laughingly agreed. It was November by then, and they had finished the film a month before. It was being edited day and night, because Faye wanted it released over the Christmas holidays. Everyone was working on golden time by then, but they wanted it eligible for the next Academy Awards so it had to be out by year's end. And when Anne ran into Val, she noticed that George Waterston was parked in his Cadillac at the curb, waiting for her. She couldn't help wondering if they were still “just friends,” as Val claimed. But one thing was sure, Val looked even more beautiful than before, and she was picking up a dress at Giorgio's for a party that night. Anne had just been in to pick up a few things to wear over the holidays. Bill wanted her to get out a little bit and she had outgrown everything she owned, even her maternity clothes.

“How do you feel?” Val asked, and she seemed genuinely concerned. All of them knew how much the baby meant to her, and why. And Anne laughed now. She was enjoying her pregnancy, in spite of the discomforts of it.

“I feel fat.”

“You look great.”

“Thank you. How's everything with you?” They rarely called each other anymore. It was difficult to believe they had grown up in the same house once. But they hadn't really. Val had grown up only recently, and Anne had grown up at Bill's.

“I just got an offer for another role.”

“Not with Mom again, is it?”

Val was quick to shake her head. Working with her mother had been an experience she would never forget, and she would always be grateful for it, but she wasn't anxious to do it again soon. Most of the actors who worked for her said that, even George. “Once in three years is about it with her,” he had said, and Val figured it was true. “No, with someone else.” She named the director and the stars and Anne was impressed. “I haven't decided yet. There are a couple of others I might do.” Her career had finally taken off, “overnight,” after five years of screams. Anne was pleased for her. And that night she told Bill.

“She's going to be the hottest thing in Hollywood one day. Just like your Mom was once.” It was easy to believe now, she was talented and beautiful and she had that smell of success about her. You could just see she was someone when she jumped out of a car, not like the old days in a tight black dress and sequined high heels at 10 A.M. She had come a hell of a long way, and Anne thought George was responsible for the happiness she saw in Val's eyes.

“I think they're more than just friends, don't you?” She was trying to get comfortable in a chair but it was impossible until he put some pillows behind her and she thanked him with a kiss.

“I think so too. But I think they're smart to keep it quiet. He's a big star, and they don't need the headache of all that publicity.”

In fact, they had kept it from everyone, even Dan, for as long as they could. But eventually, they had had to tell him, and now Val was quietly living with them in the Hollywood Hills, in a beautiful house that was entirely walled in, surrounded by thick trees. Even the paparazzi hadn't caught onto them yet, and it had been going on for three months. Val had never been so happy in her life. When they'd come back from New York and gone back to work on the film, something different seemed to have happened between them. They were so close they understood every breath, every pause, it was like magic on the set every day, and Faye felt it too and was thrilled by it.

She didn't interfere with them, she just let it roll, and by August, when Dan went away with his Mom, Val quietly moved in with George. They explained it to Danny when he came back, and George was even talking about getting married, although neither of them was in any rush. They wanted time to be sure. And Val was sure it was going to come out one of these days, but they were ready now. In fact, they were waiting for it.

“Do you think you could stand living here forever, with an old man, and a young boy?” He was kissing her neck the afternoon she had run into Anne, and told him how huge she was.

“It sounds like the good life to me … of course,” she put on a wistful face that convinced even him, “it's not as nice as where I used to live before I moved here.”

George gave a roar and tousled the wild red hair. “You mean that whorehouse full of old hens? It's a wonder you didn't get arrested just living there!”

“George, what a thing to say!”

“It's true!” She had finally even told her parents she was living with him, and she was relieved that they were pleased. She was all grown up now, but somehow it still mattered to her, especially now, after working with Faye. She had new respect for her after what she had seen, and for the first time in her life she felt as though her mother respected her. She had even helped her find a new agent, and they had had a long talk one day after the movie was wrapped up.

“Val, you are very, very good. You know, your father thought that all along. He told me so. I have to admit, I had my doubts, but you're one of the best and you're going to go a long, long way.” Those words meant everything to her, and she couldn't believe she was hearing them from Faye Thayer.

“I used to hate you, you know.” It was a terrible thing to say and there were tears in her eyes as she did. “I was so jealous of you and those damn Oscars in the den.”

“They don't mean anything, Val.” Faye's voice was soft, but Valerie shook her head. “You five wonderful people are my Oscars.”

“I used to say they didn't matter, but they do. They mean how hard you've worked, how good you are. And you're wonderful, Mom … you really are the best.” The women had both cried then, holding each other close, and Val was still warmed by the memory. She had finally made peace with her. It had taken a long time, but she had. And she hoped that Anne would one day too. The ghosts would never leave her eyes until she did, and she said that to George too. She told him everything. He had become more than just her lover, he was her very best friend.

“You know, I kind of envy your brother-in-law.” He said it as they were stretched out in front of the fire that night, and Val looked at him, surprised.

“Bill? Why? You have everything he has and more. Besides,” she grinned, “you have me, what more could you want?”

“Of course.” He smiled back at her, but there was a longing in his eyes she hadn't seen before. He was a quiet man, with values she liked, ideals that were easy to respect, and a stable way of life, all of which was very unusual for a Hollywood idol, which he was. “I envy him that kid.”

“The baby?” She was startled by his words, children were something that she rarely thought of. She thought of having them one day, but not for a long, long time. Her career was important to her, she had worked hard for it, and she was just beginning the exciting climb to the top. She was nowhere near ready to step down yet, unlike Faye at almost her age. Faye had been twenty-five when she retired, Val was almost twenty-three. “Would you really want a baby now, George?” He was at the height of his career too. It would have been difficult for both of them, although the idea appealed to her for a later date.

“Maybe not now, but someday soon.”

“How soon?” She rolled over on her stomach, propped her face on her hands, and looked worriedly at him.

“How about next week?” He was teasing her and he laughed at the worried look in her eyes. “I don't know, a year or two. But it's something I'd like to do again one day.” Dan was a nice boy, and Val was fond of him too.

“I wouldn't mind that.”

“Good.” He looked pleased, and a little while later, in front of the fire, he peeled her clothes slowly from her, and said something about practicing, as he made love to her.





CHAPTER 43




“How do you feel, sweetheart?” Bill looked at her solicitously, and she laughed.

“How would you feel, if you looked like this? Like shit. I can't move, I can't breathe. If I lie down the kid strangles me, if I sit up, I get cramps.” It was already February 9, and she was five days from her due date, and despite the complaints, she seemed to be enjoying it. She wanted the baby so much that she didn't seem to really care how big she got, or how uncomfortable she was. She just wanted to hold him in her arms and finally see his little face. She still thought it was going to be a boy, but Bill was secretly hoping for a girl. He claimed he was more used to them.

“Do you want to go out for something to eat?” She laughed and shook her head. Nothing fit, not even her shoes, and she only had three ugly dresses she could wear. She had stopped going to Giorgio's to buy dresses to go out, because she never wanted to go out, and she didn't now. She was too uncomfortable to go anywhere. She just wanted to wander around the house barefoot and in the loosest things she owned, preferably a nightgown. And that night, after they ate some soup and a small soufflé, which was all she had room for now, they went for a walk near the house, but even that was too much for her. She huffed and she puffed and she had to sit down on a huge rock outside someone's house. He almost wondered if he'd have to go and get the car for her, but she insisted that she could get home again. She looked so vulnerable and so huge that he felt desperately sorry for her, but she seemed to accept it as the way things were, and the next day she even got up and made him breakfast before he left for work. She seemed to be brimming with energy and she said something about cleaning the baby's room again, which he thought unnecessary, but she seemed hell-bent on it when he tried to discourage her, and as he left, she was dragging the vacuum across the floor, and he was faintly worried about her, so much so that he decided to drop by again before lunch, and when he did, he found her quietly lying on the bed with his stopwatch in her hand, timing contractions as she did the Lamaze breathing she had learned this time. She looked at him with a distracted look and he hurried to her side.