“Merry Christmas, everyone!” Annie called out to them both, took off her coat, and turned on some Christmas music. Katie complimented her on the tree, and Ted poured them each a glass of eggnog, which was another family tradition. Annie usually added a drop of bourbon to hers, but Kate and Ted liked it plain, just the way they had drunk it as kids. They were all talking animatedly when Liz walked in, carrying three shopping bags full of presents. She always bought the most extravagant gifts of all, and they loved them. Liz was in high spirits as they all wished each other a merry Christmas, and after admiring the tree, and singing to the music, they all cooked dinner together. It was a perfect Christmas Eve. Liz had promised to stay there until she left for Paris, and Annie loved having them all home.

They sat chatting at the kitchen table until nearly eleven, then got ready to leave for midnight mass. Kate noticed Ted making a call as she walked past his open bedroom door. And she heard him leave someone a message. He sounded upset and looked worried when he joined the others in the front hall. She had made a call herself when she went to get her coat, but it had been friendly and short, and she’d promised to call the next morning. Tonight was a family time that was important to all of them.

They took a cab to St. Patrick’s, where they went to midnight mass every year. Only Annie took communion, and as she did every year, they watched her light candles for Bill and Jane. She knelt at one of the smaller altars after she did it, bowed her head, and prayed, and there were tears running down her cheeks when she stood up. It always brought tears to Kate’s eyes to watch her. She had never asked, but she knew who the candles were for. Her parents weren’t forgotten, and Annie had been wonderful to their children ever since they’d been gone. Ted gave Annie a hug as she slipped back into the pew, and Kate gently held her hand. Liz was looking strikingly chic as usual, in a huge white fox hat and an elegant black coat with tall black leather boots. She reminded Annie so much of Jane at the same age. She was more stylish than her mother had been, but her face was almost the same. It made Annie’s heart ache sometimes to see it. She still missed her.

They sang “Silent Night” at the end of the mass, and afterward they walked out onto Fifth Avenue and took a cab home. Annie made them hot chocolate with marshmallows, and then finally everyone went to bed. And after they did, Annie filled their stockings with little thoughtful presents and wrote them funny notes from Santa, reminding each of them to clean their rooms and wash behind their ears, and on Kate’s Santa letter she added a note that she would find coal in her stocking next year if she got any more tattoos. And then Annie went to sleep in the peaceful apartment, grateful that all the people she loved most in the world were home and sound asleep in their rooms. It was her favorite night of the year. It didn’t get better than this.


Chapter 7


On Christmas morning Annie got up early to put the turkey in the oven, and she called her friend Whitney, as she had for so many years. They wished each other a merry Christmas, chatted for a few minutes, and Whitney reminded her again to come on New Year’s Eve, but Annie still insisted that she didn’t want to go to New Jersey if one of the kids would be home alone. She never minded staying home on New Year’s Eve, it had never been a night that meant much to her, and she hated to be around people getting drunk, with no one to kiss at midnight, which made her feel more alone than staying home.

“I’ll see,” Annie promised Whitney. “I have to see what the kids are up to. Lizzie is going to Paris tomorrow, but the other two will be here. And as far as I know, neither of them has any plans.”

“Well, come if you can,” Whitney said warmly. “We’d love to have you … and have a merry Christmas, Annie. Give my love to the kids.”

“And mine to Fred and the boys.”

Annie lit the Christmas tree then, so it would be festive and bright when the others got up. A little while later Kate emerged from her bedroom, looking sleepy, in a rock star T-shirt, and her spiky hair sticking up straight. Annie noticed then that she was wearing a tiny diamond in her nose, which was new. She didn’t say anything to Kate about it, but she would never get used to her pierces and tattoos.

“Santa left me a cool note,” Kate commented then with a yawn as she smiled at her aunt.

“Really? What does it say?” Annie feigned innocence, as she always did, and particularly had when they still believed in Santa Claus. She had gone to great lengths to preserve the myth for them. She had wanted them to have all the joy and magic in their lives that they deserved.

“Santa said he loves my new Tinkerbell tattoo, and he just got one himself. He got a huge tattoo of Rudolph on his ass. He promised to leave me a picture of it next year.” Katie grinned.

“That is not what the note from Santa says!” Annie said with a disapproving look. “I read the note myself when I got up!”

“Yes, it is!” Katie insisted, and ran to get the note. She had written one herself with a funny drawing on it, of Santa with the Rudolph tattoo on his bare behind. Annie burst out laughing when Kate handed it to her, and then taped it up on the fireplace, just as Liz wandered out in a man’s pajama top that looked sexy with her beautiful long legs. Annie was wearing an old flannel nightgown and a pink cashmere robe. And Ted emerged a few minutes later wearing boxer shorts and a T-shirt. Comfort was the order of the day on Christmas morning, not elegance. And a few minutes later they all exchanged gifts in front of the brightly lit tree.

Kate’s paintings of the three of them were a huge hit, and for her brother and sister she had done a portrait of Annie. She had done portraits of her parents too, from photographs, but she had left them tacked on the wall in her dorm room. She hadn’t wanted to upset anyone by bringing them home. Annie loved the three beautiful portraits of the children, and Katie promised to have them framed for her. Annie said she was going to take down a painting and put them up in the living room. There were tears in her eyes as she hugged Kate. And Ted and Liz loved the portrait of Annie.

Ted’s gifts to everyone were a big hit too, and Annie put her personalized hard hat on immediately. Liz had given Annie and Kate beautiful gold cuff bracelets, and an elegant Cartier watch for Ted, with a sporty rubber diver’s band.

And afterward they all had breakfast in the kitchen. Liz had half a grapefruit as usual and was thinner than ever. Katie had granola, and Ted made eggs sunny side up for Annie and himself. The smell of bacon was delicious, and the turkey in the oven was turning golden brown. It occurred to Annie as she watched them talking and laughing with each other that they had a life of fragments of loaves and fishes. Somehow she had managed to bring up three children, not her own, with no idea of what she was doing, and they had turned out wonderfully, they all loved each other, and they enriched her life in ways she never would have dreamed. She felt very lucky as she put the breakfast dishes in the dishwasher and silently thanked her sister for the three terrific children she had inherited from her. They had filled her life with love and joy ever since.

Everyone went to their rooms for a while after breakfast. All of them had friends they wanted to call. Ted closed the door to his room while he called Pattie, and she finally picked up this time, although she still sounded very upset. He wished her a merry Christmas.

“You should be here with me and the kids,” she said mournfully, and a moment later she was in tears again.

“I have to be with my family today,” he explained again. She just didn’t seem to get it, or didn’t want to. There was no way he would have been anywhere but here today. And after only four weeks it wasn’t fair of Pattie to expect him to ditch his family for her. He was upset that she had made such a fuss about it, but he offered to come to see her late that afternoon. He had presents he wanted to give them. He promised to call Pattie as soon as he thought he could get away.

“Have a nice day,” she said, still sounding hurt and disappointed, and he didn’t apologize to her again. She had to understand that his family was important to him. “I love you, Ted,” Pattie said sadly. She sounded as though she had lost her best friend.

“I’ll see you later,” Ted responded. He still wasn’t ready to tell her that he loved her, and surely not as an apology for spending Christmas with his sisters and aunt. He was upset but not feeling guilty, and it bothered him that Pattie was so possessive of him.

Ted looked more relaxed when he came out of his room again. At least this time Pattie had talked to him.

“Love troubles?” Liz asked him with a raised eyebrow, and he shook his head, surprised that she had guessed and not anxious to open up to her.

“Why would you say that?” Ted commented to his older sister.

“You never close your door when you’re on the phone, unless you’re fighting with a girl. Someone new?” she asked with interest, and he shook his head.

“No, just someone I’ve gone out with a few times.” He could just imagine the look on her face if he told his older sister she was thirty-six years old and had two kids. “I might go see her this afternoon,” he volunteered, and Liz nodded. It didn’t sound unusual to her, and she had to go back to her place and pick up a few things for her trip too.

While they were talking, Annie had wandered into Katie’s room to thank her for the beautiful portraits again. She truly loved them. She noticed a book on Katie’s desk, about Muslim culture and customs. It wasn’t the sort of thing that Katie usually read. She had never been much of a reader, and her taste ran more to biographies of contemporary artists and rock stars. And she’d never had an interest in other religions before, or even her own.

“That looks interesting,” Annie said, picking it up. “Are you taking a class in Eastern religions? It might actually help us to understand some of the conflicts in the world today.”

“I borrowed it from a friend,” Katie said, and turned away. Annie went back to the living room to join the others then. They had all dressed nicely for lunch, and Ted was wearing a coat and tie as he always did for family events. She had always insisted that they dress properly for the holidays when they were children.

Liz was wearing a simple little black wool dress, although it barely reached her thighs. Annie was wearing her favorite red Christmas dress, and Katie appeared a moment later in a red leather skirt, Raggedy Ann stockings, red combat boots, a fuzzy white sweater, and Christmas balls hanging from her ears as earrings. She was definitely her own person, but she had just proved to all of them again what a talented artist she was. And Annie was impressed by the book she had seen in her room. She liked to see that Kate was interested in different things and cultures. Kate was a freethinker and never borrowed anyone’s ideas without checking them out for herself first. She was a totally independent individual. Annie had tried to open as many doors to them as she could. She had never wanted them to live in a narrow, limited world. And she loved the fact that each of them was so different. Of the three, Ted was the most traditional, and Katie the least. She thought that Jane and Bill would have been proud of them too.

The conversation was lively at their Christmas lunch table, and Annie poured them each champagne. They were all old enough to drink, and rarely did to excess, although Ted had had his occasional sophomoric moments during his first two years in college, but now they were all adults, and reasonable about how much they drank.

Liz said she was excited about going to Paris and spending time with Jean-Louis. The shoot she was doing in the first week of January was an important one and was being done by a famous French photographer, with important jewels from all over Europe. The Queen of England had even lent them a piece, which Lizzie was planning to put on the cover. She talked animatedly about it. Only Ted was a little quieter than usual, and Annie could sense that something was bothering him, but whatever it was, he didn’t want to share it with them.

He watched a little football after the meal, and then he stood up and said vaguely that he was going out for a while to see friends. He waited to see if anyone objected, and when they didn’t, he went to his room and picked up the wrapped gifts for Pattie’s kids. He had bought each of them a game. He wasn’t sure what kids liked at that age. He had already given Pattie her gift, in case he hadn’t been able to get out on Christmas Day.