Marion Croslydon - Fast Forward

He pointed his finger back at the stove. “Cass, you cooked.”

Yeah, okay, that kind of gave me away. “I used the Guidis’ family recipe. I rescued it from Alfredo’s house after the funeral. I wanted to practice for when we get Lucas. I’d promised Alfredo…”

“I know.” He pulled me against his chest and kissed my forehead. “I remember.”

I wrapped my arms around his neck and looked up at him. “I had it all planned out. I’d be waiting for you to come back from your work event and have the perfect dinner all ready for you.”

“Were you scantily dressed in this romantic scenario of yours?”

I thought of my first Victoria Secret’s negligée carefully tucked in my drawer. “Let’s say I wasn’t wearing the poop-colored tracksuit you got me for the tour.”

Josh chuckled. “What happened then?”

“Well, your work event happened to be the job I took tonight. I served prawns to that ex of yours and made sure everybody knew I had a huge chip on my shoulder.” My gaze fluttered away for a couple of seconds. “Then I covered for a guy who didn’t care about finishing his job and I made it back home at eleven with you, because you were cute enough to wait for me.”

“So?”

“So long story short, we won’t be having sex tonight.”

Josh burst out laughing and I followed in his tracks.

“That’s kind of definitive.” His fingers snuck underneath my uniform top and caressed the small of my back. “What made you change your mind?”

“I’m not quite there yet.”

Josh led me back to the sofa and sat me on his lap. “Where do you want to be?”

“Maybe it’s not a question of where, but who. I don’t want to be that girl who can’t stand by your side and be proud of who she is. Whatever it is. I don’t want to be that girl who doesn’t have a plan for herself.” I’d delivered all of this in one breath.

“That’s a lot of things you don’t want to be. What do you actually want to be?”

“I want to be someone who inspires you and Lucas.”

His hand flew up to cup my face. “But you do inspire me. I was totally won over the night I saw you on stage with that goddamn Shawn Dupret. You blew my mind.”

“It was just one time.” One very special time.

“It’ll happen again, Cass. Plus, Sweet Second is going to be released as a single. You wrote that song.”

He was right. I had achieved something. Maybe I could achieve more. I stood and, without a word, went to our bedroom, opened a drawer and came back with a stack of papers. I handed them to Josh. He took them and quickly cast his eyes over them. Most of them were music sheets and Josh couldn’t read music. Still, he paid close attention to them, spending more time on the pages filled with words.

He finally looked up at me. “Is that new material?”

I sat back on his lap. “I’ve been writing in my spare time. When Shawn called me about Sweet Second’s release, he said if it was doing well his agent, Will, might ask for more stuff. I thought it would be wise to have something ready.” Josh’s fingertips brushed my cheekbones and I took it as a silent encouragement. “I mean, writing songs doesn’t mean I’ll be back on the road. So I can be here with Lucas while doing something about my music. And I love writing.”

Josh gently patted the back of my head, combing my hair with his fingers, then pulled my face down towards him. He gently kissed me. It wasn’t one of his you’ll-drop-your-panties-next kisses. It felt more like an I-totally-worship-you type of kisses. I like those too.

“I’m in awe of you,” he said. I gave a slight shake of my shoulders because I wasn’t used to being praised. “That’s why I’m going to give you a mental kick in the ass.”

I stiffened. “Why’s that?”

“Because you’re doing it again, Cass. Going to the end of the world for the people you love without letting them be there for you.” I frowned and asked him to explain. “Since you’ve been in D.C, you’ve repainted the whole apartment, hung up new curtains on every single window, cleaned up the garden and found a job near to Lucas’s school. On top of that, you make extra tips by working for a catering company pretty much every weekend. I’ve not even mentioned the fact that we’ve had to go through a home study for the adoption. Which wasn’t a walk in the park.”

“You make it sound like I’ve killed myself at work. I’m fine. Plus, it’s not as if you’re not working like a dog too.”

He waved his hands in defense. “We’re not talking about me.”

“But you’re the one bringing home most of the money.”

“It’s our money, Cass. Not mine. So I want you to use it to make your life easier.”

“I don’t need—”

“—I want you to stop spreading yourself so thin. Hopefully Lucas will be with us for good in a few months. He’s going to keep us busy.” He paused. “I think you should give up your job at the coffee shop. Or that catering moonlighting. Either one… or both?”

“No way I’m not making my own money—”

Once again he hushed me by putting the tips of his fingers on my lips. “It’s not about money, Cass. I want you to have more free time to focus on your song writing. I have no doubt in my mind that this guy, Will, will soon come begging for more songs by the incredibly talented Cassandra O’Malley.”

“Yeah, sure.”

His hands moved to my shoulders to squeeze them. “Stop putting yourself down. I won’t let you do that to the girl I love. And if you still think I’m doing you a favor, see it as an investment. A few years from now you might be the one bringing home hundreds of thousands of dollars in royalties.” His faith in me made one corner of my mouth curl up. “I’ll take early retirement on a beach in Florida and let you be the breadwinner.”

“As if you’ll ever give up on your own bright future, Mr. Senator.”

His hands tightened around my shoulders and I took the hint that he wasn’t in a joking mood. “You are my future, Cassie O’Malley. The brightest of all. So, do we have a deal?”

I swallowed hard and fought back the tears. No one will ever believe in me more than he did. I had to let myself believe in him. And in myself.

I nodded, “We have a deal.”

Josh

“Maybe it’s too much like a field trip?”

Cassie rolled her eyes at me. “Come on, Champ! He loves it.” She slapped my arm playfully. “You can’t always pull the sports card, you know.”

Lucas had landed in D.C. yesterday. We’d been lucky. The adoption had been approved last week and the boy was already with us for a pre-placement visit. The fact that Sharon Sorenson had last-minute plans for Thanksgiving had helped. That meant she was more than happy to send him away. That meant we had two full days together.

I’d been in charge of organizing our first day out as a family-to-be. Saying that it’d kept me awake at night was an understatement. I’d finally set my choice on George Washington’s Mount Vernon. My dad had taken me there during our Memorial Day weekend in D.C. years ago. I’d loved it. But I was a bit of a nerd as a kid—I still was—and maybe Lucas didn’t care about history, Founding Fathers or not.

However, I was pretty sure he’d loved the cruise we’d taken out of D.C. The river and the boat itself fascinated him. We’d shared stories of pirates and buccaneers. I think he’d confused the Potomac with the Caribbean.

“Josh, come, come!” Lucas kept whooping his arm to get me to his side. He was standing on tip-toes to see into one of the glass displays in the museum. “Look at all those soldiers. They’re dressed all funny, not like the Avengers.”

The miniature guys fighting at the Battle of Yorktown couldn’t really compare to the buffed-up action figures Lucas played with. I felt Cassie by my side. She leaned against me while checking out the reproduction in the glass display.

“Josh, what are they fighting for?”

This seemingly simple question struck at the geeky nerd inside of me. I bent over and took Lucas in my arms so that he could get a better view. He was stuffed inside a ski jacket that could protect him against the elements on a trip to the North Pole. One of his arms looped around my neck.

“The guys in blue are fighting for the man who owned the house we’re visiting today.”

“George like-the-town-where-you-and-Cassie-live?”

“Correct. George Washington.”

Cassie chuckled. While one of my arms was wrapped around Lucas, the other one pulled her against me. I loved the way they smelled. Cassie always made me think of a field of wild daisies. Today it mingled with Lucas’s sugary apple scent.

Nothing had ever smelled as good as this.

“George Washington was an American, like us. He wanted America to be free. But the English didn’t want us to be. So there was a war.”

“Who are the English?”

“They’re the guys in red.”

Lucas pondered my answer while he kept looking at the reproduction of Yorktown. “My mommy didn’t like me playing with my Iron Man. She said that people should talk to each other, not fight.”

“Your mommy was right.” Cassie gently laid her hand on Lucas’s cheek, her thumb brushing his plump skin. “Hey, Champ, should we get a nice, big cup of hot chocolate?”

“Yes please!” burst from Lucas and me simultaneously. We were both Cassie’s ‘Champ’ and I was happy to share the title for the rest of my life, if it meant keeping the boy—and Cassie—with me. Forever.

I was finding out that, with a kid, it takes much longer to go from A to B. Before making it to the coffee shop, we stopped at the smokehouse, the coach house, the stables and, most amazingly of all, the blacksmith shop, meaning we reached our destination half an hour later than planned.

“Why don’t you go and choose a slice of cake? They look yummy.” I was looking forward to mine.

Lucas got down from his seat and hurried toward some fairly substantial pies that were on display.

“I’m sure we’re supposed to keep him away from sugar and fat.” Cassie removed her coat and hung it at the back of her chair. Her hair was a blond mess after the ride on the upper deck of the Spirit of Mount Vernon and running after Lucas. The boy didn’t walk, he ran everywhere.

“I guess this means we’re real parents now. Doing what we’re not supposed to do, feeling guilty about it, but doing it anyway.”

Cassie gave me the cutest frown. I wanted to reach over the table and smother her with the longest kiss this side of the Mississippi. I didn’t because, after six months of abstinence, I wasn’t allowing myself to get even close to being tempted.

“Don’t look at me like that, Josh, or I’m going to combust.” She coughed while two pink circles formed on her cheeks.

I let out a heavy breath. “I didn’t think I was that obvious.”

Lucas was back at our side so I shot the inappropriate thoughts dead.

“Cassie, can I have some pecan pie, please?”

Cassie gave Lucas a suspicious stare. I was missing something. “What are you hiding?” she asked.

Lucas had become all twitchy, his eyes evading mine.

“Well, Champ, what’s up?” Cassie repeated as she gave him a gentle nudge.

“It’s just that my mom didn’t let me have pecan pie. But I had some once with Andrea and it tasted really good.”

Cassie sent me a sideway glance. She was silently asking for some advice but I had no idea what to say.

“Do you know why your mom didn’t let you have pecan pie?”

“Because of the pieces of pecan that could get stuck in my teeth. They would put holes in them and I’d have to see the tooth doctor and it’d hurt.”

I thought a good brush of his teeth would get rid of any nasty chunks of pecan, but there was more at stake than pecan pie. Lucas and I waited for Cassie to make the decision.

“Your mommy was right, Lucas. So maybe we should stay clear of the pecan pie for now. At least until you get brand new teeth.”

“When am I going to get new teeth?”

“Well…” I knew Cassie was trying to remember all about milk teeth.

“When you’re six or so,” I chimed in. Lucas grimaced. “Is it going to hurt?”

“Not really, and the tooth fairy might come and visit you and leave a coin under your pillow for each tooth you lose.”

“And with my new teeth I can eat pecan pie?” I’d gotten Lucas pretty excited about this goddam pie.

“Yes, you can—“

“—as well as more broccoli, carrots and sweet potato,” Cassie cut in.

“Oh… okay.” New teeth had suddenly lost some of their appeal. “I’m going to get something else then.”