Rachel Dyken - Fearless

We started walking. No idea what direction, but we went slowly. “Almost makes up for the Frogger comment.”

“Believe me, in about fifteen minutes, you won’t even remember your middle name let alone the fact that I compared you to a video game.”

The sound of traffic blared in my ears. We stopped, and then walked across the street. I only knew it was a street because I could look down and see the asphalt.

The road slowly turned into a sidewalk, and then, we were indoors. I just had no idea where.

“Wait here.”

Wes left me on a soft couch. The fabric felt like velvet beneath my fingertips. Were we in a hotel? Or a restaurant? It smelled good. Shrugging, I sat and waited. Waited while Wes Michels went about doing what he does best—shock and awe.

I was happy to wait—until I heard an ambulance in the distance, and then all of a sudden—I was back where I was last year. In the hospital. Waiting for Wes to either live—or die.

I started crying for no reason. It was lame really but suddenly my brain went to that possibility—what if. What if things had turned out differently. What if Wes hadn’t made it. And I wasn’t sitting in a lobby or restaurant waiting for his smiling face. I hated that I was torturing myself but there it was, the fear. Trying to seep into my very soul. Because a world without Wes was like a world without the sun. Pointless and dead. My world would be dead.—Kiersten

Wes

Checking in took a lot longer than I thought it would. I felt bad for leaving Kiersten sitting in the lobby, but I wanted it to be a surprise. I’d planned everything perfectly, not that it saved me from having to fill out so much damn paperwork that I seriously almost broke the pen in half.

“Enjoy,” the receptionist said with a smile.

“We will.” I offered a warm smile in return and walked back to where I’d left Kiersten.

Even wearing a blindfold she looked beautiful. But something was wrong, her shoulders were hunched, and she was holding herself like she needed comforting, like the world was crumbling around her and she was powerless to stop it.

“Sweetheart?” I knelt down in front of her and grabbed her hands. “Are you alright?”

“Y-yes,” she whispered. “I think so.” A solitary tear slid down her cheek.

Panicking, I rose to my feet and then sat next to her, pulling her in my arms. “Are you hurt? What happened? Did something happen? Talk to me.”

“My heart.” She let out a pathetic sigh. “Sometimes even though I know in my heart that you’re alive and you’re here, I just—I go back to that place. I go back to the nightmares, the moments when I realized I might lose you forever. It sucks, and it’s unfair and it’s totally ruining what I’m sure is going to be an amazing wedding night, but it’s just…Wes, it’s terrifying, crippling.” She shuddered and then reached for her blindfold with shaking hands. I stopped her before she could take it off.

“Kiersten, do you trust me?”

“Y-yes.”

“Then leave the blindfold on, sweetheart.” Her hands were like icicles. I brought them to my lips and kissed each fingertip. “I want you to be able to focus on my voice—nothing else. Not the fear, not the anticipation of where we are, but every word coming out of my mouth.” I released a heavy sigh and leaned in so that my lips were grazing her ear. “Kiersten, the worst has happened. I should have died. I didn’t. I’m right here. Next to you. Holding you. When your mind tries to take you to that place—you need to fight it. The battle is in your head. The minute you start giving power to those thoughts you’ve already lost. Fear wins. Don’t let fear win, Kiersten. Love—our love—it can’t flourish where fear is present. Do you get what I’m saying?” I pulled back a bit to watch the reaction on her face.

More tears, and then a muffled, “No.”

Chuckling, I squeezed her harder. “This could be my last night on this earth. I could choose to be afraid and hole up in a hotel room or I could live. Remember you always have a choice. Don’t let your mind cripple what your heart already knows to be true.” I gripped her hand and placed it over my heart. “And Kiersten even if it was my last night. I would do nothing different. Absolutely nothing. Because I’m with you. My other half, my soul mate.”

Kiersten nodded. I couldn’t tell if she was better or if she was still upset. I thought the tears were gone, but I was still concerned. With a sigh, I helped her to her feet and led her down the hall. She adjusted her blindfold with still-shaking hands.

“S-sorry,” she mumbled once we’d been walking in silence for a bit. “I didn’t mean to get all…emotional.”

“Yeah.” I rubbed her back. “But I did call you a frog so I guess we’re kind of even.”

“True.” She giggled. Ah, there was the laugh I was waiting for. The one that made me want to slay every damn dragon in her way and conquer the world over and over again.

All for one giggle.

One laugh.

Yeah, I was done for.

We were in the best suite they had at The Market Inn downtown. It was a beautiful boutique hotel, but I chose it for a specific purpose, one I hoped would make Kiersten cry happy tears…

“Are we at a hotel?” She asked once I pushed open the door and helped her make her way inside.

“Yup.”

“So is that the surprise?”

“Nope.”

“Okay…”

“Keep walking straight.” I lined her up so she wouldn’t knock anything over. “I’m going to open the sliding glass door really quick and then I’ll take off your blindfold. Alright?”

Kiersten nodded, her smile making me feel like it was Christmas morning and I’d just gotten her a puppy.

She shivered as I led her outside. The moist air had a bite to it, so I took off my suit jacket and wrapped it around her small frame.

“The ocean.” Kiersten lifted her nose into the air and sniffed. “We’re right on the Sound?”

“Yeah.” I watched her like a crazed fool, watched while her smile grew at the idea that we were near the water. “So, my surprise?”

Hands on hips, she shouldn’t have even known where to stare, but there she was, blindfold in place, expecting something like a piece of jewelry or maybe even something like a boat ride.

“Have a seat.” I gently sat her on the wooden lounge chair and took off her blindfold. Her green eyes were still a bit wet with tears. I leaned down and kissed each cheek and whispered. “Surprise.”

Her eyebrows shot together in confusion. “You’re my surprise?”

“Would that be enough?” I tilted my head.

“Yeah.” She reached for me. “Every day of my life that would be enough, more than enough.”

I backed away from her so that I could focus. It seemed every time her skin came into contact with mine, my knees felt like they were about ready to buckle and my brain screamed for me to do something about the way she made me feel.

“Your wedding present.” I smiled and pointed across Elliot Bay.

“You bought me…a boat?” Kiersten guessed her eyes darting across the bay, obviously trying to figure out where I was pointing.

“Hmm, you’re getting warmer.” I kept pointing in the direction of the piece of land across the way. “Hey, maybe these will help.” I handed her some binoculars and winked.

With a teasing scowl, she snatched them out of my hand.

I didn’t look at where she was looking—no, I watched her. Because I knew I’d recognize the minute she discovered her little surprise.

With a gasp, Kiersten jerked back and then look through the binoculars again, then looked at me, then back through the lenses.

“Y-you…” She covered her mouth with her hands.

“I?” Grinning, I pulled her into my arms. “Yes?”

“You.” Her lower lip trembled. “You bought us a house.”

“I did.”

“The house I saw last time we went to that bed and breakfast across the bay—the house with the red door.”

“Yup.”

“The house that wasn’t even for sale when we first saw it.”

I shrugged sheepishly. Yeah, it had been hell to get the people to move out, but when I offered them twice the market rate and told them my story, I was almost afraid they were going to try to give it to me for free. Had they not been an elderly couple that vacationed in Florida half the year I wouldn’t have even pushed it.

“Look again,” I whispered. “This time see if you can’t focus on the large bay window in the front.”

Kiersten, shakily lifted the binoculars back up to her face—but this time when she saw the rest of the surprise, she dropped them and fell into my arms sobbing.

Because above the window I’d had a metal sign made for all to see.

It read simply…The Beginning.

Emotions are a funny thing. They drive us to either make good or bad choices, they can either make our day or ruin it. Emotions for the most part cant’ be trusted because a lot of times, they help us justify our own bad behavior. They allow us to stay mad at someone, to take offense, to keep forgiveness at bay because we’ve been hurt or are still hurting. That’s why, I can honestly say, when I look at Kiersten? It’s not my emotions speaking—but my heart. Because the heart is pure in its pursuit—whereas your emotions can cause you to stumble. Why in the hell would I want to stumble in the race towards owning every part of her soul?—Wes

Wes

When Kiersten didn’t stop crying, I panicked. Had I gone too far? I knew she was still sensitive about everything that had happened, but I wanted to prove to her that the house we bought…it was our new beginning. The fresh start, the one we had dreamed about, the one we’d stayed up late in the hospital to talk about.

I rubbed her back, trying to calm her down, but if anything, my touch made it worse. She didn’t stop trembling.

And then without a word, she shot out of the chair and freaking attacked me—not in the sense that the tiny girl beat me with her fist and it tickled like she had a feather in her hands. Hell, no. She launched herself into my arms, wrapped her legs around my waist, and kissed me so hard on the mouth that I stumbled backwards, nearly colliding with the sliding glass door and giving myself a concussion.

With a grunt, I gripped her body in my hands and lifted her higher so I wouldn’t’ drop her then returned her kiss.

With. Every. Damn. Ounce. Of strength I had.

Kiersten’s response was to drop the jacket I’d lovingly placed on her shoulders and claw at my shirt.

Denying her would be like willingly shooting myself in the foot.

I freed up one of my hands and opened the sliding glass door then stepped through and shut it behind us. Kiersten opened her mouth, sucking on my tongue, making my knees shake a bit and blood roar in my veins. Where the hell were the bedrooms? I saw a living room, I saw no bed, I saw a hallway, okay hallways were good, right? Because they led to rooms?

“Holy shit.” I bit off when Kiersten’s nails dug into my back. Was my shirt off? How? How was that physically possible? I’d been holding her and then…I looked around, pieces of my shirt lay around the floor. I broke off our kiss. “Tell me the truth—were you Wonder Woman in another life?”

Kiersten’s answer?

Her clear green eyes narrowed as she wrapped her arms tighter around my neck and tugged my ear with her teeth.

“Yup,” I said hoarsely. “We’ll get you spandex later.”

Gently, I let her slide down my body and set her feet on the floor. Staring into her eyes, I smiled, and then I grabbed her hand and made a run for it. I was the romantic guy, the one who took things slow, the one who wanted to savor every moment with the girl I loved.

But right then? In that moment? I was a man possessed with such an obsessive need to claim what was mine—that I ran.

I freaking ran.

Like I was going for a Superbowl Ring and I dragged Kiersten behind me.

I pushed the first door open.

Bathroom. I groaned. “You’ve gotta be kidding me.”

Was I sweating?

Kiersten tugged my arm towards the end of the hall, and opened the door.

We both froze.

She dropped my hand and covered her face.

White daffodils were spread across the bed in the shape of a heart. In the middle, our initials stood out against the red satin.

A small trail of orange and yellow daffodils led us to the bed and to a waiting desk with a bottle of champagne and a card.