He was silent a moment then he asked, “You at J&J’s?”

“Yeah.”

“Don’t work tonight. We’ll get Reggie’s, take it home, drink beer and I’ll give you a chance to salvage your pool reputation.”

I knew he said this because he wanted to celebrate, what freaked me out was that he wanted to celebrate with me. Worse, that sounded like a kind of date except the “take it home” part which made it sound like something else entirely.

“Colt –”

“I’ll talk to Jack, he or Jackie can cover if you’re on.”

“Colt –”

“I’ll pick you up at six.”

Definitely a date-ish type statement.

“Listen to me, Colt –”

“Later, baby.”

Then he hung up.

I was finding it hard to breathe. This wasn’t because I was angry, this was because I wanted to eat pizza, drink beer and play pool in Colt’s den with Colt. I also wanted other things too, if I was honest. I wanted them so much it was too much.

That wasn’t what was making it hard to breathe.

What was making it hard to breathe was that I knew I could have them if I just reached out and took hold. And the excitement and anticipation of knowing that was unbelievably thrilling.

Letting go of the pain and deciding to live my life before it was too late meant something else was happening too. I was letting Colt back in, or he was pushing his way in, probably both. Golden Sundays and fucking fantastic kisses and a man going all out to protect you had a way of making that kind of shit happen. I didn’t know if I was ready to take Dee’s advice, forgive him, forget and move on. Even after all of these years, even learning moment to moment these last few days what kind of man he’d turned out to be, I had to admit, I was still shit scared.

* * *

By three thirty I knew the news had broken or some of it anyway.

I knew this because for a Monday afternoon we had way more people in the bar than usual.

I knew it too because Morrie finally told me after I cornered him because he and Dad were getting called aside to have private conversations with patrons.

Firstly, everyone knew Colt and I had had scenes in this bar and at the Station.

Secondly, everyone knew that one second, Colt and I were circling each other and barely speaking, the next second we were having scenes in this bar and at the Station and more, I was living with him.

Thirdly, not only had half my neighbors watched Colt and the boys going in and out of my apartment in the wee hours of the morning but also Chris and Marty had canvassed, knocking on my neighbors’ doors asking them if they saw anyone going into my house. They’d undoubtedly had their chats with Chris and Marty, gone back into their apartments and got right on the phone. Most of my neighbors were retired and this was gossip too juicy not to share.

Not to mention, Lore came in and did his thing, exposing me as someone who was assisting the investigation which didn’t help matters.

Lastly, my cell never quit ringing. I’d never been more popular. Some, my closer friends, I picked up and gave them a kind of “I’m busy”/“No Comment”/“I’ll call you later” malarkey. Others I didn’t pick up at all.

The good news was no one was shying away from me or sending daggers at me with their eyes. They were coming into the bar and having drinks not avoiding it. I felt mostly curiosity and some concern coming at me and I could handle that.

So the afternoon was crawling on and my drama was taking a new turn. I wondered if it lasted much longer if I’d eventually get used to it. I doubted it.

Morrie walked in with Palmer and Tuesday in tow. They raced to the office shouting, “Hey Granddad! Hey Auntie Feb,” and disappeared behind the office door.

I’d been in the office that day and the kids had done a number on it. Nothing on the desk was where it’d been before and the computer was totally fucked up and had about fifty more applications than it had when they walked in yesterday. Still, I liked them being in the bar which was where Morrie and I spent a lot of our childhood and seeing as loved ones were close, it was a good place to be.

Morrie had his cell to his ear as he made his way behind the bar. “Yeah, Dee, I picked ‘em up from school. Things are busy here. You mind comin’ ‘round after work to pick them up?”

He was close so, at his words, I punched him in the arm hard.

“Yow!” he shouted and I bugged my eyes out at him. “Nothin’ Dee, darlin’, just that Feb’s in a mood.” He chuckled and said, “That’s it, babe. Later.”

I was still glaring at him when he flipped his phone shut.

“What was that for?” he asked me.

“It was for tellin’ Dee to come get the kids. She’s tired, it’s Monday, Mondays suck. She doesn’t want to go out of her way to get the kids. And anyway, Dad’s here, we’re busy but he’d cover for you.”

“Well, she’ll want to come out of her way today,” he replied.

“Yeah, why? Because your natural charisma will brighten her day?”

“No,” he shot back. “Because I got reservations at Costa’s tonight and she loves that place. We’re gonna have a family dinner. It’s a surprise.”

I snapped my mouth shut, surprised and impressed. Morrie spoke the truth, Dee loved Costa’s like crazy, the kids did too. Hell, I did too. Everyone loved Costa’s. It was a great Greek restaurant one town over. It was where you went to celebrate things, birthdays, getting into the university you wanted, shit like that. Not just Monday night family night.

Morrie was going to score huge on this.

“Got anything else to say?” Morrie asked and I didn’t so I didn’t say anything.

All of a sudden I heard Dad laugh and just as sudden his arms were around me and he was giving me a big hug. I hugged him back automatically. Then when I got over my surprise that I was all of a sudden being hugged by my Dad in the bar for no reason, I felt his hug and the feel of it almost made me cry.

Dad was a hugger, he was affectionate like Morrie, but I hadn’t had a hug like that from my Dad in a long… fucking… time.

That was when I really hugged him back.

“I love my girl,” he whispered in my ear before he let me go.

I had tears in my eyes when I said to his back, “Love you too, Dad.”

Morrie put his big mitt on the side of my head and gave it a shove.

I took a deep breath to control the tears and gave my brother a smile because with his head shove, he was saying he loved me too.

And somehow I felt like I’d come home. Not like when I got home two years ago to stay for good or any of the times I’d come home to visit, but like I’d really, finally, come home.

* * *

The Terrible Trio showed up at quarter passed five.

For me this meant Jessie, Meems and Dee.

They ambled in, eyes on me and I knew I was in trouble.

Dee, I was expecting. The three of them together meant they’d planned this and it sent bad tidings.

“Hey babe,” Morrie called to Dee.

“Hey, hon,” Dee replied, “be with you in a sec. Gotta have a word with Feb before I take the kids home.”

There it was. Trouble.

Morrie read Dee’s tone. He read it and it made him do two things: grin and skedaddle.

Jessie, Meems and Dee bellied up to Colt’s end of the bar and I approached.

“Get you gals a drink?” I asked.

“Not here for libations, girlie,” Jessie answered.

I knew that. Shit.

“What’s up?” I asked.

“Lindy who heard it from Bobbie who heard it from Lisa who heard it from Ellie who got it straight from the horse’s mouth says you talked to Melanie this mornin’,” Jessie told me.

My mind flew through the strategies available to deal with this situation.

I settled on nonchalance. “Yeah, sure, she called this morning.”

“And?” Meems prompted.

“And nothing, Colt was gone. He had work,” I answered.

“And?” Jessie said this time.

“Nothin’,” I replied.

“Girlie, your whatever-he-is’s ex phones you, findin’ you at his house first thing in the mornin’, you call your girlfriends so we can peck it over and so, when other people call us about it, we don’t look like assholes because we’re surprised,” Jessie informed me.

“It wasn’t a big deal,” I informed her right back.

“It was, seein’ as she was callin’ Colt to ask him to dinner so she could see if he wanted to have another go,” Dee told me.

“Another go at what?” I asked then it hit me and I knew. I knew. Shit, I knew. I actually felt the blood draining out of my face before I whispered, “She said it wasn’t important.”

“She lied,” Meems said.

“She ain’t exactly gonna let you in on that,” Jessie noted.

“Oh crap,” I said and then I leaned forward, putting my elbows on the bar and my forehead in my hands.

I didn’t need this shit, not for a variety of reasons. The obvious one being I had enough shit to deal with. The one that somehow seemed more pressing was that I didn’t want Melanie to want Colt back because I didn’t want to find out that Colt wanted Melanie back.

“February,” Dee called.

“Give me a minute to think,” I said to the bar.

“Well, let us in on this thinkin’ ‘cause maybe we can help,” Jessie offered and I straightened.

“How’re you gonna do that?” I asked.

“Well, firstly, by telling you to pull your finger out about Colt and show him you’re ready to try again,” Meems stated.

“Actually, that’s most of how we were gonna help,” Dee put in.

“Great. That works. Thanks.” My tone was pure sarcasm.

“Has he kissed you again?” Dee asked and I pressed my lips together.

“He kissed her,” Meems muttered.

“They played pool too. Colt wiped the floor with her ass.”

This came from my mother who had planted herself by Dee and I hadn’t even noticed.

Mom had, that day, been given free rein to clean out Colt’s second bedroom. She called me at ten o’clock to inform me she’d talked Bud Anderson into delivering a brand new queen-sized mattress and box springs with a standard frame to Colt’s house by three o’clock. She bragged to me for ten minutes about the bargain she got. I didn’t dwell on why Mom was suddenly cleaning out and furnishing Colt’s second bedroom. As I mentioned before, I had enough to deal with.

“How did you know about the pool?” I asked my mother.

“Colt told Morrie, Morrie told Jack, Jack told me,” Mom answered.

Next time I ran away from home, I was going to a big city. The biggest. In China. Where not only were there billions of people, I didn’t speak their language and they had good food.

“Colt wiped the floor with your ass?” Jessie was astounded. “You rock at pool.”

“Maybe she was havin’ trouble concentrating,” Meems suggested.

“Colt leaning over a pool table, I’d have trouble concentrating,” Dee remarked and they all dissolved into loud, girlie cackles.

I took this moment to pry my eyes off them and look around the bar.

Yep, just as I suspected, everyone was watching us.

Time to put things straight.

I leaned in and said low, “This is the deal. I got some whack job murdering people because he thinks he’s doin’ me a favor. He stole my journals, which means he knows everything about me, all my private thoughts.” They gasped through this new news, I ignored it and carried on. “Colt is being cool, way cool, cooler than he needs to be. I’m grateful. I don’t know what that means and I don’t know if I’m ready to explore it. I’m just takin’ this one second at a time because that’s all the strength I got left in me with this shit which is relentless. I try to do more, I’ll unravel.”

They were all staring at me but I kept right on going.

“I need you all to help me keep it together. That means if there comes a time I want to share, I reserve the right to share even though I’m tellin’ you right now, back, the fuck, off.”

They all looked properly chastised, except Mom who looked weirdly proud. But I wasn’t done so I kept talking.

“As for Melanie, she’s a good woman. She doesn’t deserve the shock she had this morning and she doesn’t deserve us chewin’ her up just about now. It’ll play out as it plays out. This isn’t ‘may the best woman win’ because neither of us deserves that and Colt doesn’t either. These are lives were talkin’ about, the lives of decent people and that means Melanie too. Yeah?”

They all looked at each other then they nodded to me.

I looked at Jessie. “And you can tell Ellie, Lisa, Bobbie and Lindy the same thing. Serious shit’s at stake here and Colt needs to stay on target. He doesn’t need more crap to deal with.”