What the hell is the matter with me? Michael Devlin asked himself as he pulled himself off of her. He loved her. Did he really want to go back into the city tomorrow morning and spend the day away from her? But what if it didn't last? What if it had just been a wild and wonderful fling that Emily had initiated to learn about sex? And that had been her-their- original intent. Maybe she was one of those women who prized their independence above everything else. He needed more time. He was too old to offer his heart to a woman, only to have her refuse him.

"Do you have to go back tomorrow?" she asked him.

"Yes," he said. "If I leave around noon I'll miss all the traffic. The Healy doesn't like idling in traffic."

"You could leave the Healy here, and take the train in on Tuesday morning," she suggested casually.

"I pay for garaging in my building," he answered her.

"Oh." She sounded disappointed.

"We have the rest of tonight, and tomorrow morning," he told her as he helped her off her kitchen table. "And if you need me to come back next weekend, I can."

Emily nodded. "I think you have to come back every weekend until the book is finished," she told him. "And after that, only if you'd like to, Devlin."

He ruffled her soft hair. "I would like to, angel face." Was the suggestion casual? Or did she mean something by it? Could she care for him as he did for her?

"Let's go to bed!" Emily suggested happily. Men were so dense. Did Devlin really think she was going to let him get away from her now that she had found him? If he loved her, as Rina said he did, he wouldn't want to leave her.


***

She barely had time to feed him, they lingered among the sheets so long the next day. But she wouldn't let him go until she had given him a late breakfast, and then she tucked into the Healy a bag containing several sandwiches and fresh peaches. "Call me so I know you're back safe," she said to him, kissing him sweetly on the back porch where no one could see them.

He nodded, kissed her back long and hard, and fondled her butt. "Be good, angel face," he said as he walked off the porch and climbed into the car.

"I only want to be bad with you, Devlin," she told him, and waved him off as he backed out of her drive and roared down Founders Way. Well, that wasn't one hundred percent true, the afterthought struck her. She liked being bad with her duke. But the duke wasn't real. He was a fantasy lover. She wondered if she would take other fantasy lovers now that her writing had taken a turn for the hotter. The Channel offered such safe sex. No unexpected pregnancies. No STDs. Just utter incredible bliss. It wasn't real, but it certainly seemed like it was real when you were experiencing it. Going back into the house, she considered having the Channel tonight, but it seemed almost disloyal to Devlin to get it so soon. Couldn't she live without sex for a single night? She grinned. Now that she knew what it was all about, she wasn't sure she could.

He called her around four to say he was back in his apartment, and the Healy garaged. "It prefers your driveway to its space in the building," he told her.

"My Healy misses yours," she teased. "She liked being nose-to-nose with your Healy in the drive. How was the traffic?"

"Good, but thickening as I got near town," he said.

They talked for a few more minutes, and then he rang off, telling her, "Now playtime is over, angel face. Get back to work. I'll call you in a few days."

"Okay," she said. "And I'll see you next weekend."

"You bet you will," he promised.

Emily hung up, and then, considering the time, she dialed Savannah's cell number. It wasn't that late in England, and Sava was a night owl anyway.

"Hallo?"

"He went back to the city, and I'm alone," Emily said.

"Well, you've had a month of him now. Not tired? Not bored?" Savannah asked.

"I will never be tired or bored with Devlin," Emily answered honestly.

Savannah laughed. "I'm so glad you finally know what love really is, pet. And the sex? Still incredible? I always heard he was the best."

"God, yes!" Emily sighed. "Oh, I know that because he's my first and only lover, some people might say I didn't know what I was talking about, but I do. I guess it's an instinct, Sava. The duke may look like him, but he isn't at all like him in either personality or in the boudoir. Does that sound crazy?"

"Not to me," Savannah replied. "The gentlemen on the Channel seem to have their own personalities. I don't really understand it, but I also don't want to question it."

"I'm coming to England next month. Devlin goes to Frankfurt, and then we're meeting. We'll come down to Barrow and spend a few days. Make me a reservation at the inn in the village, will you? The best they have to offer."

"You'll stay with us," Savannah protested.

"Not this time," Emily said. "We want a romantic interlude, and we can hardly have one at the manor. Besides, you listen at keyholes, and don't deny it."

Savannah giggled. "That's how I gained my first knowledge of sex," she admitted. "Mama used to bed my father's brother every chance she could. Of course, she was a widow, but Uncle Dorian was married. Mama always left her bedroom door open except when Uncle Dorian came. I wondered why. I certainly got an eyeful and earful that first time I peeked. My nanny caught me and hauled me away, muttering about bad girls coming to bad ends." Savannah laughed. "Thank God for the Channel, for I seem to have my mama's wild libido! But I would never embarrass Reg. I do love him."

"You'll make the reservation then?"

"For when?" Savannah asked.

"We'll get there October tenth. He's leaving the fourteenth. I'll come up to the manor house then until the sixteenth, if that's all right with you," Emily said.

"That would be super," Savannah agreed. "Reg goes up to London a few days a month, and we'll have girl time while he's gone. The Channel is trying something new here in England and France, and it's a perfect time to use it."

"What is it?" Emily asked.

"It's a new channel changer. You know how they replaced our old ones with one that got us in by simply pressing the enter button? Well, now there's a new one that you can program to allow two women to enter the same fantasy at the same time! And I've been working on a wonderful idea about a Victorian bordello. You know how prim and proper the Victorians are said to have been. Well, sexually they were animals, darling! While old Reg is up in London we can indulge our most wicked little selves at the Cock and Cunt. That's what I call the place." Savannah chuckled.

"Sounds very wicked," Emily said slowly. "I don't know if that's my style, Sava. You are far more adventurous than I am."

"Emily, we hold the power in the Channel. That's what makes it so ideal for experimentation. If you say stop, it stops. Not like real life, where, when a man gets past the point of no return, you can't say, 'Whoa, Nellie,' " Savannah reminded Emily. "I know these last few months you've been a participant in the Channel and not an observer, but I also know you've probably played it safe. Try something new and maybe just a little dangerous. We'll be together, darling. Aren't you just the least bit curious to know what it would be like to have multiple partners at the same time? Or to spend the night entertaining several different cocks in your pussy? Come on, admit it. Every woman thinks about it, and given the right circumstances most of them would attempt it at least once. I've created a really fun group of gentlemen. There's Bertie and Willie, Freddie and St. Albans. And several others. More than enough to go around. Don't make a decision now. Wait until you get here. I'm really excited about this. Imagine being able to go into the Channel with your best friend."

"It is tempting," Emily considered thoughtfully.

"Devlin will be on a plane flying back to the States. Old Reg will be up in London, and you and I will be in our fantasy getting ourselves fucked to distraction. I know it's not the correct period for you, but sex is sex. You might pick up something you could use in The Defiant Duchess."

"I might," Emily said.

Savannah laughed. "You are intrigued, aren't you?"

"I admit it," Emily said.

"Then we'll have to do it, darling," Savannah decided for them.

"I expect we'll be doing it a whole lot that night," Emily riposted back.

"Gracious, what a wicked thrust," Savannah said drolly.

"There will be lots of wicked thrusts that night, won't there, Sava?"

Savannah laughed. "God, I hope so! I haven't had a good orgy in ages, and you haven't had one at all. I do so want your first orgy to be fun, darling."

"I'm going to ring off, Sava," Emily said. "I'll talk to you before I come. Have the inn e-mail me a confirmation."

"Of course. I'll tell old Reg you sent kisses," Savannah replied. "You know he would fuck you if you let him, Emily. He's always fancied you."

"Well, I wouldn't fuck him. Not my best friend's husband," Emily said, a bit shocked. "Give William and little Selena a kiss for me, will you?"

"Well, just thought I'd ask now that you're well broken in and all. It's his birthday in a few weeks, and you would really make a terrific gift. I mean, another consumer something is so predictable, after all."

"Savannah! You are a dreadful woman," Emily said, half laughing. "The one woman in this world you will never have to worry about where Reg is concerned is me. As your husband he is off-limits, as far as I am concerned. I've never even made one of my heroes look like him. Ewww! Creepy. Now, kisses for the children, remember?"

"It's done," Savannah replied. "Night, darling. See you next month."

"Good night, Sava," Emily said, and hung up. She was actually relieved that Lord Palmer would be up in London while she was staying with Savannah. The last time she had been at the manor he had come into her room, and then pretended he had made an error, being somewhat foxed, as he had so quaintly put it. But Emily had known her friend's husband knew exactly where he had been going. He was a hound dawg, to use an Americanism, she thought. Savannah probably knew it too, but she did love Reg and their children, and she loved being Lady Palmer, Baroness Tilbury. And Reg, even if given the opportunity, would never leave his wife. In his way he loved her too.

Love. What a funny emotion, Emily thought. It's physical, and it's emotional. It's delicious lust, and at the same time it's emotions for which there are no words. At least that was how she felt about Devlin. Rina said he loved her. But Devlin had never said it. Not even in the deepest throes of passion had he uttered the word love. The closest he had come was to say he adored her. Adore meant to worship. To be extremely fond of. So he was fond of her. It was something to build upon, wasn't it?

She had entrapped him into seducing her back last spring so she might learn just what sex was all about. She hadn't planned on falling in love with Michael Devlin; nor had she even considered that he would fall in love with her. But she had fallen in love with him, and more than anything in the whole world Emily Shanski wanted Michael Devlin to be in love with her. She wanted a happily-ever-after, complete with a small but fancy wedding, a honeymoon, and two or three children. If her heroines could have it, why couldn't she? She had gotten him into bed. Now could she get him to the altar?

The telephone rang and, surprised, she picked it up.

"Emily, it's Aaron. I've been trying to get you for hours," he said dramatically.

"Aaron, welcome home! How was Italy? How was Capri?" she asked him.

"Tuscany was heaven. Capri overrated. Too many pretty boys. Dancing, dancing, dancing, and drinking twenty-fourIseven. We were supposed to stay a week, but we left after two days. Kirk was right," Aaron Fischer said. "But the Blue Grotto was divine! Now, how is the book coming, and are you getting along with Michael Devlin? You seemed to be content before we left."

"We're lovers," Emily heard herself say.

There was a long pause, and then Aaron said, "Is that wise, sweetheart? I mean, this kind of a relationship between an author and editor has always been a forbidden kind of thing. What happens when it's over? Will you be able to work with each other? And how will you explain it if you can't?"

"Rina says he's in love with me, and Aaron, I am in love with him. Don't I get to be happy too?" Emily asked softly.