“What’s going on, Mia?” J.P. wanted to know.

“You look like you just ate a sock,” Tina said.

“It’s nothing,” I said quickly. “It was just my dad to say that the Royal Genovian Hospital got a donation of a CardioArm from Michael’s company. That’s all.”

Tina choked on the sip of Diet Coke she was taking. Everyone else took the news calmly.

Including J.P.

“Oh, hey, Mia,” he said. “That’s great! Wow. That’s a generous gift.”

He didn’t look a bit jealous.

And why should he? It’s not as if there’s anything to be jealous about. Michael doesn’t like me like that, despite what Dad—and Tina—might think. I’m sure he just donated the CardioArm to be nice.

And Micromini Midori…the fact that he sent her to teach the surgeons how to use it? That doesn’t mean she and Michael aren’t going out. It just means they’re in such a stable relationship that they can be away from each other for weeks at a time and it doesn’t bother them a bit.

What am I blathering about? Who cares if Michael and Micromini Midori are dating? I’m wearing a promise ring from another guy! To whom I am going to lose my virginity after the prom this coming Saturday! What is wrong with me?

Really—What IS wrong with me? I shouldn’t even be thinking about any of this stuff! I have a French final in fifteen minutes!

WHAT AM I GOING TO DO ABOUT THE FACT THAT MICHAEL SENT A CARDIOARM TO THE ROYAL GENOVIAN HOSPITAL?????

And I can’t stop thinking about him for even one second, and I’m due to lose my virginity to my boyfriend after the prom in four days (three if you don’t count today)????

 

Wednesday, May 3, French final

Mia—Are you done with the final? T

Yes. That was horrible.

I know! What did you get for number 5?

I don’t know. Future perfect, I think. I don’t remember anymore. I’m trying to block it out.

Same here. So. I know you probably don’t want to talk about it, but what are you going to do about Michael, and the fact that he did what he did? Because, no matter what you say, Mia, you can’t deny—no guy is going to send a CardioArm to the country of a girl he doesn’t like.

See, I knew this was going to happen. Tina takes everything and wraps it up in silver tissue paper and puts a big bow on it and calls it Love.

AndI’m supposed to be the romance writer.

He doesn’t like me! Notlike like me. He just did it to be nice. For old times’ sake. I’m sure.

Well, I don’t see how you can be sure when you haven’t even spoken to him about it. Have you spoken to him about it?

Well, no. Not yet. I’m not sure I’m going to, either. Because, in case you don’t remember, Tina, I’m promise-ringed to someone else.

That doesn’t give you the right to be rude! When someone goes to all the trouble of donating a CardioArm to your country, the least you can do is personally thank him! Although that doesn’t mean you have to sleep with him, or anything. I’m sure Michael isn’t expecting anything likethat . You could kiss him though.

Oh my God.

Whose side are you on, anyway, Tina? J.P.’s, or Michael’s?

J.P.’s, of course! Because that’s who you’ve chosen, right? I mean…haven’t you? It would be pretty weird if that’s NOT who you’ve chosen, seeing as how you’re wearing his ring, and plan on spending the night with him on Saturday.

Of course I chose J.P.! Michael broke up with me, remember?

Mia, that was almost two years ago. Things are different now. You’re different now.

WHY DOES EVERYONE KEEP SAYING THIS?

OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST GOT OUT OF MY LAST GERMAN FINAL EVER! No more German finals ever! At least for me! I think in college I’m going to take Spanish because then I’ll be able to order more things when I go to Cabo for break instead of just tacos.

—————————————

Sent from my BlackBerry wireless device

Lana, don’t you think Mia should call Michael to thank him for donating a CardioArm to the Royal Genovian Hospital?

Whatevs, she should just call him because he is HOT like a red-hot chili pepper like the kind I’ll be learning about when I start taking SPANISH instead of GERMAN!!!!

—————————————

Sent from my BlackBerry wireless device

See? Mia, just text Michael. Thank him for what he did. That’s not hurting J.P. I mean, you already met with Michael and didn’t tell J.P. And okay, maybe Michael did it because Lilly told him what she overheard us saying in the bathroom. But chances are he was going to send it anyway. So just call him.

You think he sent it because Lilly told him she overheard me say I still like him? I’m going to be sick!!!!!

No! I said MAYBE that’s why he did it!

OH MY GOD that IS why he did it! I know it! Oh my God. OH MY GOD!!!!!!

Look, I’m sure that’s NOT why. But…you should call him and find out.

Wait a minute…I’m going to Genovia for break from now on. I should take French next year. What’s French for tacos?

—————————————

Sent from my BlackBerry wireless device

When I go to college the first thing I’m going to do is pick out all new friends. Because the friends I currently have are psychotic.

 

Wednesday, May 3, 4 p.m., limo on the way to

Grandmère’s condo at the Plaza

Sebastiano has picked out a half dozen gowns from his latest collection for me to try on to wear to the prom, and I’m meeting him at Grandmère’s to check them out.

I have a feeling they’re going to be horrible, but I guess I shouldn’t be so judgmental. I really liked the last formal gown of his that I wore (to the Nondenominational Winter Dance my freshman year. Can it really have been so long ago? It seems like yesterday). Just because Sebastiano’s selling his stuff at Wal-Mart doesn’t mean it’s going to be awful.

Anyway, I’ve been writing and deleting texts to Michael the whole way up in the car. I’ve been trying them out on Lars. (He thinks I’m nuts, clearly. But then, what else is new?) It’s really hard to capture just the right casually breezy, yet still warmly sincere tone.

Lars thinks I should go with this:

Dear Michael,

I can’t tell you how surprised yet pleased I was to hear from my dad today about a certain delivery that arrived at the Royal Genovian Hospital. You can’t even begin to imagine what you’ve done for him and for the people of Genovia. Your generosity will never be forgotten. I would so like to thank you in person on their behalf (when you have time).

Sincerely,

Mia

I do think this has just the right polite yet friendly tone. It’s the sort of thing a girl who is promise-ringed to someone else could send and not have misinterpreted. Or have intercepted by the paparazzi and get herself into trouble.

I added the stuff about meeting in person because…well, it just seems like you should thank someone in person for a gift that cost over a million dollars. Not because I want to smell him again. No matter what Lars thinks (I really wish he wouldn’t eavesdrop on all my conversations. But I guess that’s one of the hazards of guarding someone).

I’m going to hit SEND before I chicken out.

 

Wednesday, May 3, 4:05 p.m., limo on the way to Grandmère’s condo at the Plaza

Oh my God! Michael got the text and texted me back already! I’m freaking out. (Lars is laughing even harder at me but I don’t care.)

Mia,

Would love to see you “in person.” How about tonight?

Michael

P.S. No need to thank me on behalf of your father or Genovia. I only sent it because I thought it might help out your dad in the elections, and that, in turn, would makeyou happy. So you see my motives were completely selfish.

Now what do I do????

Lars has no answer for me. Well, he does, but it’s completely unreasonable. He’s like, “Call him. Go out with him tonight.”

But I can’t go out with him tonight! Because I’ve got A BOYFRIEND! Plus, I’ve got J.P.’s play tonight. I promised I’d be there to support him.

And Iwant to be there for J.P. Of course I do. It’s just that—

What can Michael mean, his motives were entirely selfishly motivated? Does he mean what Lars says he thinks he means, that he only sent the CardioArm because he likes me?

And wants to get back together?

No. That’s not possible. Lars has spent too much time in the desert sun, setting off explosives with Wahim. Why would Michael want to get back together with me, when I am so obviously a crazy person? I mean, when we were together last time, I went positively Britney on him. I can’t imagine any boy would ever sign up for a second helping of that.

Even though, of course, like Dad said, I have grown up a lot since then….

And we did have a nice time at Caffe Dante. But that was just an interview.

Oh! But he did smell nice! I don’t suppose he thoughtI smelled nice, too?

I’ve got to check with Tina…even though she’s nuttier than I am, if you ask me.

But never mind about that. I’m forwarding his text to her…And, dang, we’re at Grandmère’s now, I’ve got to go endure trying on clothes for hours. Who has the patience for fashion when all THIS is going on?

 

Wednesday, May 3, 8:00 p.m., the Ethel

Lowenbaum Theater

It’s really very hard to write in here since the lights are down and J.P.’s play is going on. I’m doing this, in fact, by the glow of my cell phone.

I know I shouldn’t be writing in my journal at all—I should be paying attention to the play, since the senior project committee is here (and so are J.P.’s parents, as are all our friends who didn’t stay home to study for finals), and I should be trying to look like I support J.P., and all.

But I just have to write more about Michael’s e-mail.

Because, of course, I couldn’t keep it to myself. Ihad to show everyone at Grandmère’s.

Grandmère said it just proves that Michael harborsune grande passion for me. She says a million-dollar piece of medical equipment as a gift isn’t quite as romantic as a three-carat diamond and platinum promise ring.

“But,” she went on, “the fact that Michael donated it without your having asked for it is rather extraordinary. I’m starting to wonder if I wasn’t wrong about That Boy after all.”

!!!!!!

Honestly, I nearly fainted on the spot. I have NEVER heard Grandmère say she was wrong about ANYTHING!!!!!

Well, hardly ever.

Anyway, this was such a startling thing to hear coming from Grandmère’s lips that I nearly tumbled off the stool Sebastiano had me standing on while he stuck pins into the gown I was modeling. He said, “Tsk, tsk, tsk,” and asked me if I wanted to be stuck all over like a porcupine.

Only, of course, Sebastiano still hasn’t grasped the basics of the English language, so he just called it a “porc.”

“G-Grandmère,” I stammered. “What are you saying? Sh-should I give Michael another chance? Should I give J.P. his ring back?”

I swear my heart was slamming so hard inside my chest, I felt like I could hardly breathe as I waited for her reply. Which is weird because it’s not like I particularly VALUE advice from Grandmère, as she is, in fact, a certified lunatic.

“Well,” Grandmère said, looking thoughtful. “It is a terriblylarge ring. On the other hand, it’s a terribly expensive piece of medical equipment. But you can’twear a robotic surgical arm.”

See what I mean?

“I know what you should do, Amelia,” Grandmère said, brightening. “Sleep with both of them, and whichever young man performs better in the boudoir, that’s the one you keep. That’s what I did with Baryshnikov and Godunov. Such lovely boys. And so flexible.”

“Grandmère!” I was shocked. I mean, seriously: How evil is she? How could we even be of the same bloodline?

Honestly, I don’t consider myself a prude. But I think you should at least bein love with someone before you dothat with them (something I have tried unsuccessfully to impress upon Lana. Oh, and my grandmother).

Anyway, I told her not to be stupid, that I’m not sleeping with anybody. Mia Thermopolis’s Big Fat Lie Number Nine.

But whatam I going to do? I’ve gotten a confirmation e-mail back from Tina. (She’s here tonight with Boris. But, of course, we can’ttalk about it. Not with J.P. around. Oh, and Boris.)

She thinks Michael’s note meant what Grandmère thinks it did (but who even counts what Grandmère thinks, as she’s clearly unhinged): Michael really did send the CardioArm for me. ME!

Tina says I’ve got to write him back and truly make some kind of arrangement to see him in person. Because, as she just texted fromher seat: