“I know,” J.P. said, laughing. But not in a mean way. “And I’m going to, I swear, I’ve just been so swamped with the play and then finals and everything. You know how it is. And I’m sure it’s the best romance novel there is. I’m just saying, I think you could write something much weightier if you really put your mind to it. Something that could change the world.”

Weightier? What is he talking about? And haven’t I done enough for the world? I mean, I made Genovia a democracy. Well, not me personally, but I helped. And if you write something that cheers someone up when they’re feeling down, doesn’t that change the world?

And let me tell you something: I have seenA Prince Among Men now, and it is not going to change the world OR cheer anybody up. I don’t mean to sound like I’ve got sour grapes, but it’s the truth. It doesn’t even make you think except to make you think that the guy who wrote it must think pretty highly of himself.

Sorry. I didn’t mean that. That was uncalled for.

Anyway, I was like, “J.P., I don’t know. Moving to Hollywood with you isn’t something my mom or my dad is going to approve of. They both expect me to go to college.”

“Right,” J.P. said. “But taking a year off might not be such a bad idea. It’s not like you got in anywhere that great anyway.”

Ouch. See, that would have been a great opportunity for me to say, “Actually, J.P., I was kind of exaggerating when I said I didn’t get in anywhere….”

Only, of course, I didn’t. Instead, I just suggested we go into the living room and watchTrue Life: I’m Hooked on OxyContin , because I didn’t want to get in an argument.

Anyway, after watchingTrue Life , I learned something. Not just that I am never going to do drugs (obviously). But that writing is my drug. It’s the only thing I ever do that I really like.

I mean, besides kiss Michael. But I can’t do that anymore, obviously.

 

Thursday, May 4, 8 p.m., ladies’ room, Carnegie Hall

OH MY GOD!

I thought this concert was going to be really boring, but I was wrong.

Oh, not the music.That’s totally boring. I’ve heard it a million times coming out of the G&T supply closet (although I’ll admit, it’s kind of different to hear it coming from the center of the Carnegie Hall stage, especially seeing all these fancy people turned out in their best clothes, clutching CDs with Boris—BORIS—on the cover, all saying his name in excited voices. I mean, it’s just Boris Pelkowski. But these people seem to think he’s some kind of celebrity. Which, hello, HIGHlarious).

But the fact that everyone I know from AEHS is here, includingboth Moscovitz siblings—that’sexciting. I wasn’t expecting that.

And I know it’s wrong to be excited to see my ex-boyfriend when I’m out on a date with my current boyfriend.

However, that is not my fault. It’s MHC.

Our seats are rows and rows apart so there’s no chance of my being overpowered by eau de Michael. Unless somehow we bump into him later. Which I highly doubt is going to happen.

Anyway, Michael’s alone. He didn’t come with a date! Which may be because Micromini Midori is in Genovia.

Except that I can’t help wondering if he came solo because I said in my e-mail to him that I’d be coming.

But then I remembered what Boris said—about how the two of them are going to be living together this year. So I guess that’s why he’s here, actually. To support his friend.

Stupid me, getting my hopes up. AGAIN.

Anyway. I guess I should be getting back to my seat. I didn’t want to be rude and write while I was supposed to be looking like I was paying attention, but—

WAIT.

Oh, God.

I recognize those shoes.

 

Thursday, May 4, 8:30 p.m., ladies’ room, Carnegie Hall

I was right: Theywere her shoes.

I totally confronted her when she came out of her stall.

Well, confronted isn’t the right word. Iasked her about the commercial she made for my dad. Why she did it, I mean.

At first she tried to get out of it by saying it had been a birthday gift for me.

And it’s true, she had said, back in theAtom office when I turned in my story about Michael, that there was something she’d been going to give me for my birthday. And she’d said to give it to me, she’d need to come to my party. She just hadn’t said she was going to give it to meat my party. I’d assumed that part.

But…why now? Why a presentthis year? And such agreat present?

At first she looked really annoyed that I wouldn’t just let it go. Like she couldn’t believe she’d walked into the bathroom and there I was.

I guess it probablydoes seem like every single time she goes for a pee, there I am.

Well, it’s basically true. It’s like I have some kind of Lilly Moscovitz bladder radar.

And this time Kenneth wasn’t around to ask weird questions about whether or not I was still going out with J.P., and keep her from answering. For a second I thought she wouldn’t anyway.

But then she seemed to make a decision within herself. She sort of sighed and, looking a bit annoyed, went, “Fine. If you must know, Mia…my brother said I had to be nice to you.”

I just stared at her. It took a few seconds for her words to register. “Yourbrother said?…”

“That I had to be nice to you,” Lilly finished for me, sounding exasperated, as if I should have been aware of this. “He found out about the website, okay?”

I moved from staring to blinking. I was making progress. “Ihatemiathermopolis.com?”

“Right,” Lilly said. She did look a little ashamed of herself, actually. “He was really mad. I’ll admit…itwas pretty childish.”

Michael found out about ihatemiathermopolis.com? You mean…he hadn’t known? I thought everyone in the whole world had known about that stupid website.

And he’d told Lilly she had to benice to me?

“But.” I was having trouble processing so much information at once. It was like I was a desert that was finally getting rain…only there was too much of it, and I couldn’t soak it all in. Soon I’d be experiencing mud slides. And flash floods. “But…why were you so mad at me in the first place? I’ll admit, I acted like a total jerk to your brother. But I regretted it, and I tried to get back together with him. He’s the one who said no. So why were you so mad about it?” This was the part I could never figure out. “Was it…was it just because of J.P.?”

Lilly’s face darkened. “You don’t know?” she asked, sounding incredulous. “You honestly don’t know?”

I was definitely experiencing sensory overload. “No.” I shook my head. She hadn’t actually answered the question. “What am I supposed to know?”

“I have never,” Lilly said flatly, “met anyone so dense as you in my life, Mia.”

“What?” I still have no idea what she was talking about. I know I’m dense. I do! I’m a geek. She didn’t have to rub it in. She could have helped me a little. “Dense aboutwhat ?”

But at that point an old lady came into the bathroom, and I guess Lilly decided she’d said enough. She just shook her head, and walked out.

Which just leaves me here to wonder, as I have a million times before:What is it I’m supposed to know? What is it that Lilly thinks I’m so dense about?

It’s true I started dating J.P. right after the two of them broke up. But she was already not speaking to me by the time that happened. So that can’t be it.

Why can’t Lilly just tell me what it was I was so dense about? She’s the genius, not me. I hate it when geniuses expect the rest of us to be as smart as they are. It’s not fair. I’m ofaverage intelligence, and I always have been. I’m creative, and stuff, but I’m romance-novel-writing creative! I don’t perform well on IQ tests, and certainly not SATs (obviously).

And I’ve NEVER been able to figure out Lilly.

And I can’t figure out her brother, either. For instance, why doesMichael care whether she starts being nice to me or not?

Oh, great. I hear clapping! I’d better get back to my seat….

 

Friday, May 5, midnight, the loft

I was wrong about being able to stay away from my MHC match.

Everyone went up onto the stage after Boris’s fantastically successful concert (standing ovations all around) to congratulate him.

That’s how I found myself standing next to J.P., talking to Tina and Boris, when Michael and Lilly came up to congratulate Boris as well.

Which wasn’t a bit awkward.

Considering Lilly was Boris’s ex (remember when he dropped the globe on his head over her?) and J.P. was Lilly’s, and Michael was mine. Oh, and Kenny’s my ex, too!

Ah, good times.

Not.

Fortunately Michael didn’t try to hug me. Or say anything like, “Oh, hey, Mia, see you at lunch tomorrow.” It was kind of like he knew this wasn’t something I’d discussed with my boyfriend.

Although he was perfectly cordial, and didn’t storm off like he did the night of my birthday. (Whydid he do that? It can’t be because of what Tina said, because he couldn’t stand to see me with J.P. Because he seemed just fine seeing me with J.P. tonight.)

Lilly, on the other hand, stonily ignored J.P.—although she cracked a little bit of a smile at me.

Tina, meanwhile, was so nervous about the whole thing (which was weird, because she was the only person there whodidn’t have an ex present) that she began talking in a very high-pitched voice about the senior project committee—who were looking a little haggard, possibly from their night out with Sean Penn—and I had to take her by the arm and start steering her away, gently murmuring, “It’s going to be okay. Shhhh. It’s all over now. Boris passed with flying colors….”

“But,” Tina said, flinging a glance over her shoulder. “Why are Michael and Lilly here?Why? ”

“Michael’s friends with Boris. Remember? They’re living together next year until Boris gets his single through the waiting list.”

“I need a vacation,” Tina whimpered. “I really need a vacation.”

“You’re getting one,” I said. “Tomorrow’s Senior Skip Day.”

“Are you really going to sleep with J.P.?” Tina wanted to know. “Are you really, Mia? Really?”

“Tina,” I whispered. “Could you say it a little louder? I don’t think all of Carnegie Hall heard you.”

“I just don’t think you’re doing it for the right reasons,” Tina said. “Don’t do it because you think you have to, or because you don’t want to be the last girl in our class who is still a virgin, or because you don’t want to be the only girl in your college who hasn’t slept with someone. Do it because youwant to, because you feel a burning passion to. When I look at the two of you together, I just don’t think…Mia, I don’t think youwant to. I don’t feel like there’s anypassion . You write about passion in your book, but I don’t think you actuallyfeel it. Not for J.P.”

“Okay,” I said, patting her on the arm. “I’m going to go now. Tell Boris he did a lovely job. Bye, now.”

I got Lars and J.P., told everyone else we were leaving, stayed far enough away from Michael that I couldn’t smell him, then left, dropping J.P. off at his place on our way home.

I tried really hard to feel passion as I kissed him good night.

I think I even did. I definitely felt something.

It might have been the staple from the dry cleaner the Reynolds-Abernathy family uses on the back of J.P.’s shirt collar though. I think it was scratching my finger as I tried to cling to him passionately.

 

Friday, May 5, 9 a.m., the loft

I don’t believe it.

Mom just poked her head in here and went, “Mia. Wake up.”

And I was like, “MOM. I’m not going to school. It’s Senior Skip Day. I don’t care if it’s not an officially sanctioned school holiday. I’m a senior. I’m skipping. Which means I don’t HAVE TO GET UP.”

And she went, “It’s not that. There’s someone on the house line, asking for Daphne Delacroix.”

I thought she was joking. I really did.

But she swore she was serious.

So I crawled out of bed and took the phone she was holding and put it to my ear and was like, “Hello?”

“Is this Daphne?” asked a way too cheerful woman’s voice.

“Um,” I said. “Sort of.” I really hadn’t woken up enough to be able to deal with the situation.

“Your real name isn’t Daphne Delacroix, is it?” asked the voice, laughing a little.

“Not exactly,” I said, stealing a glance at the caller ID on the handset. It said Avon Books.

Avon Books was the name on the spines of half of the historical romances I’d read while doing research for my own. It’s a huge publisher of romance novels.