Sandi Lynn - Forever Us

Connor stared at me and took my face in his hands. “I’m sorry, baby. I didn’t mean—”

“I know you didn’t, Connor. It just hurts so badly, and I want it to be over,” I said as I interrupted him.

“I know you do, and I can’t wait to see our daughter. She’s going to be beautiful, just like her mother.” He smiled.

A tear fell from the corner of my eye and down my cheek as another contraction started; the worse one yet. I looked over at Henry.

“Please, Henry, give me an epidural. Please, I’m begging you.”

“Ellery, I can’t. You’re not dilated yet. I’m sorry,” he said as he shook his head.

I wanted to die. This baby was tearing me apart inside, and something didn’t feel right. Nurse Bailey walked in and told Henry that Dr. Reed asked her to call him when I was dilated to five centimeters. Connor sighed, got up from the bed, and walked over to Henry.

“How much longer is she going to be like this?” he asked.

“Every woman is different, Connor. It’s hard to tell. She’s not even dilated to three yet. This could go on for another twenty-four hours.”

“WHAT!” I exclaimed.

Peyton took my hand and started rubbing it softly. “Don’t worry, Elle. We’re here to help you through this.”

Connor turned and looked at me. He tilted his head and gave me a small smile as he walked over and sat on the edge of the bed. “If I could have this baby for you, I would. I hate seeing you in so much pain,” he said as he grabbed my hand and brought it to his lips.

“I love you, Connor,” I whispered as I closed my eyes and braced myself for the next contraction.

“I love you, Ellery.”

Seeing Ellery in pain like that was killing me. My heart ached for her with every scream she let out and every tear that fell from her eyes. I called my mom, dad, and Cassidy to let them know that Ellery had gone into labor. They stopped in the room for a few minutes to talk to her and then took seats out in the waiting room. Ellery and I had discussed that we didn’t want anyone else in the room during the delivery. Peyton had a hard time with our decision at first, but then understood. As Peyton and Ellery talked in between contractions, Henry asked me to step out into the hall.

“I don’t want you to worry, but Ellery isn’t dilating like she should be. I’m getting concerned because her water broke, and I don’t want to risk an infection setting in. I think we need to let her get up and do some walking around to try and get her dilated.”

“You tell me not to worry, but you’re worried about an infection,” I said.

“I’ll call Dr. Reed and ask him what he advises,” he said as he put his hand on my shoulder. “I’m watching her and the baby very carefully.”

“Thanks for keeping me posted, Henry.” I sighed as I walked back into the room.

Ellery was lying on her side, panting and trying to breathe through another contraction as she squeezed Peyton’s hand. I walked over to her, sat on the edge of the bed, and grabbed her other hand.

“Ellery, look at me. I need you to focus on me, not the pain.”

She nodded her head and looked at me as her pain continued to spin out of control.

“Our daughter is killing me, Connor. She’s going to KILL me!” she screamed as the contraction came to an end.

Ellery closed her eyes. I took the cloth from the table and gently wiped her forehead with it.

“It’s okay, baby. I’m here with you, and I’ll get you through this. We’ve been through so much, and this is nothing.”

Her eyes flew open as if Satan himself took over. “Nothing! Did you just say this is nothing?!” she yelled at me.

“Baby, you know what I mean.”

“Uh oh, I think someone’s in deep shit. If I were you, I’d get the hell out of here, and run as fast as you can.” Peyton laughed.

I couldn’t say anything right. Everything I said was wrong and just pissed Ellery off. I got up from the bed and pulled my phone from my pocket. After I had an idea that might help keep Ellery calm, I called up Claire and asked her if she could bring Ellery’s classical music CD and the small painting of the baby cuddled up in the moon amongst the stars. I would stand in the doorway of the nursery, late at night, and watch Ellery as she stared at that painting while rubbing her belly. One night, I asked her about it.

“This is the fifth night you’ve been in here staring at that painting.” I smiled as I walked into the nursery and placed my hands on her shoulders.

She reached her hand up and placed her hand on top of mine. “I feel serene when I look at it. I’m not quite sure why, but I do. So, whenever I start to feel nervous or anxious, I come in here, and it calms me down.”

As I hung up with Claire, I walked over to Ellery and kissed her on the forehead.

“Claire is on her way with something that I think will help you relax.”

She looked at me and tried to smile, but another contraction was starting. I sat down on the edge of the bed and let her squeeze my hand as tightly as she needed to. I was in awe of this beautiful woman that I called my wife and what she was going through to give me a child. When the contraction ended, she brought my hand up to her lips and kissed it softly.

“I’m sorry, babe. I know I’m hurting you,” she said.

I gripped her face lightly with my hands. “You’re not hurting me, Ellery. I love you, and I love what you’re doing for us. You do what you need to in order to get through your contractions. I’m here for you, baby.” I smiled.

I lay there and stared into my husband’s eyes as he tried so hard to make me comfortable. Peyton was sitting in the chair next to the bed and she looked exhausted.

“Why don’t you go find Henry and grab something to eat?”

“I don’t want to leave you. You’re going to need me.” She smiled as she took my hand.

Connor looked over at her. “Peyton, I love you, but I’m her husband and the only person she needs right now.”

Peyton knitted her eyebrows at him. “I suppose you’re right, but I want to be here for her.”

“You are here for her, and I appreciate it, but you really should take a break,” Connor said.

“You and Henry should go have sex in one of the rooms,” I said as I gave her hand a squeeze.

A smile brightened her face. “That’s a great idea, Elle, but don’t go and have that baby until I get back!” she exclaimed.

As Peyton walked out of the room, Claire walked in. Another contraction had started just as she set my favorite painting on the chair next to me.

“Oh God!” I started to scream.

As Connor looked over at me, he instantly grabbed my hand, and I bit down on my bottom lip.

“Look at the painting, baby. Focus on the painting, not the pain.”

“I can’t, Connor. The pain is too horrible. I can’t concentrate on anything but the pain!” I screamed.

Claire grabbed the cloth from the stand and wiped my forehead. “I remember the pain, Ellery. Just remember what the end result of that pain is.” She smiled as she pressed her lips to my forehead.

As I smiled at her and slowly closed my eyes, Connor got up and walked her out of the room. I heard him in the hallway, thanking her for bringing the CD and the painting. Nurse Bailey came back into the room and told me she had to check me again to see how far I was dilated. She sighed after she finished checking me, and Connor walked back into the room.

“Any progress?” he asked.

“No. She hasn’t dilated at all. I need to call the doctor. I’ll be right back.”

I looked at Connor as he leaned over and kissed my head. “I’m scared something’s wrong,” I said.

“Don’t be scared. Everything’s going to be fine. I just think our daughter’s stubborn. She’s starting to remind me of someone.” He smiled as he ran his hand down my cheek.

Just as I was beginning to relax, another contraction started. Connor looked at the fetal monitor.

“How can you be having another contraction already? It’s only been a few seconds since the last one.”

The pain was different this time. It was more intense and radiated throughout my entire back. The pressure was so bad that I had to push.

“Connor, I have to push. I have to!” I screamed.

“No, Ellery. I don’t think you can do that yet.”

He held onto my hand as the sweat dripped from my face, and I screamed in pain. Henry, Peyton, and Nurse Bailey ran into the room. As I looked at Nurse Bailey, Peyton came over and took a hold of my other hand.

“I have to push. I have to. Please help me,” I begged as the tears streamed down my face.

“Ellery, you can’t push,” Nurse Bailey said as she looked at Henry.

Suddenly, the monitor started beeping and all eyes went to it. Henry stood there and shook his head.

“Her blood pressure’s dropping and so is the baby’s heart rate. We need to get this baby out now!”

“I called Dr. Reed and he said he’s on his way, but he said it’ll take at least thirty to forty-five minutes for him to reach the hospital,” Nurse Baily said.

“I don’t give a shit how long it’s going to take him. Go make sure an operating room is available, and page an anesthesiologist, STAT!”

The voices around the room were getting deeper and slower. The room started to spin as Henry clasped my shoulders.

“Ellery, stay with me,” he said.

I wanted to give up. I couldn’t do this anymore, and I couldn’t stand the pain. My body was tired, and I could feel myself slowly drifting away. Suddenly, I heard Connor’s voice.

“Baby, don’t you dare give up. You better not give up on me. We’ve come too far, and we fought too hard to have our life together, and you will not give up! Do you understand me!” he yelled.

Suddenly, a group of people came running into the room and transferred me to another bed. I looked at Connor as I opened my eyes and the tears began to fall.

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I love you,” I whispered.

Another doctor came from behind and put a mask over my face. “I need you to take in a deep breath, Ellery. This will help you to relax.”

With the mask on my face, I looked over at Peyton and saw that she was crying. They started to wheel me out of the room, but I wouldn’t let go of Connor’s hand.

“Don’t worry, baby, I’ll be right there. I promise you that I’ll be there with you.”

I followed them out of the room and stood there as they wheeled Ellery down the hall. I was scared shitless and worried. If something happened to them, I didn’t know what I’d do. I would never forget the look on Ellery’s face as they wheeled her away from me.

“I’m going to make sure that Ellery and the baby are fine,” Henry said as he put his hand on my shoulder. “Get changed and I’ll see you in operating room.”

I nodded my head as Ellery disappeared from my sight. Nurse Bailey handed me a pair of light blue scrubs and told me to change in the bathroom.

“She’s going to be all right, Mr. Black. Now hurry up and put those on.” She smiled.

As I walked into the bathroom to change, Peyton went to the waiting room and sat with my family. I quickly changed, and when I opened the bathroom door, Nurse Bailey was standing there, holding a mask in her hand.

“You need to put this on before we go into the room. It’s for the baby’s safety.”

As I took the mask from her, she led me down the hallway to the operating room where Ellery was. She told me to wait outside the double doors while she went to make sure they were ready. A few moments later, she walked through the doors and motioned for me to follow her. When she led me into the sterile room, Ellery turned her head and looked at me. Immediately, she held out her hand. I smiled as I walked over to her, gently took her hand, and sat on the stool next to her.

“Hi.” I smiled.

“Hi back,” she whispered.

“Okay, Ellery, let’s have this baby,” Henry said as he started making the incision.

As she stared into my eyes, I leaned over and lightly rubbed her forehead with my thumb.

“I remember the first time I stared into your beautiful eyes.” I smiled.

“In your kitchen, after you accused me of breaking your rule.” She smiled back.

“Yeah, but I’ll never forget the feeling that overtook me the moment you turned around and looked at me.”