* * *

The gifts continued through the week with jewelry, tickets to the symphony, and a new laptop. On the days I worked at the club, the packages would be waiting there. Obviously Hudson was still monitoring my schedule, which was both irritating and sort of a turn-on.

Thursday, though, there was nothing on my desk when I arrived. I told myself it was silly to be disappointed. He didn’t have to give me something every day to prove he was thinking about me. And I didn’t want him thinking about me all the time anyway, did I?

I was still mulling around the question, still thinking about him, when the club opened for the evening. Since one of the bartenders had called in sick, I stepped in to help at the upstairs bar. We were hopping before the clock even hit eleven, so I was somewhat distracted when Liesl bent near me. “Did you see the suit at the end of the bar?”

“No,” I said with a scowl. If she thought I would be interested in ogling man candy, she was wrong.

She winked. “Well, check him out then.”

I finished topping the beer mug in my hand and, against my better judgment, shot a glance to the end of the counter.

He was sitting in the same seat that he’d been in the first time I saw him, wearing the same suit, if I wasn’t mistaken.

And the way he stared at me? His eyes held the same heat as they had that night before my graduation. That burn that was more than lust, more than desire, it was possession.

Was it wrong that I smiled?

When I could finally tear myself away from Hudson’s magnetic stare, I made a Scotch, neat, and delivered it to him.

“The service here is excellent,” he said when I handed him his glass. As he took it from me, he brushed his fingers against mine.

Or had that been me that had done that?

Either way, the contact sent goose bumps running down my arms and warmth spreading through my chest. It had been so long since I’d touched him in any form. My body yearned for more while my head sent warning bells to run, run, run.

And my heart played some sort of Switzerland in the whole transaction, deciding not to make its desires clear.

With the war going on inside, I didn’t know what to do or say. I stood frozen, my gaze locked on his. It felt so good—so right—to do nothing but get lost in his grays. Couldn’t I find a way to do this every day of my life?

“Order!” a waitress called from down the counter.

I blinked, recovering from the trance Hudson had me in. “I have to go.” Silly to explain. I didn’t owe him anything. “Um, will you be wanting another when you’ve finished?”

“No, just the one. But I might sit here for a while, if you don’t mind.” His eyes moved down my body. “The view is stunning.”

I turned before he could see my blush.

When he left, over an hour later, he settled his bill with Liesl. I only noticed he was leaving when she handed me an envelope. “This is from the suit.”

I opened it and found a hundred dollar bill and a certificate to his spa in Poughkeepsie—the same gifts he’d given me that night in May.

“Liesl, I’ll, um, I’ll be right back.” Maybe it was because I was disappointed to see him go, but I came up with an excuse to run after him.

“Hudson!” I yelled when I found him outside headed toward the parking garage.

He stopped and waited for me to catch up.

I held the envelope out toward him. “I can’t accept this. I’m in charge here. I can’t leave for a week to go to a spa.”

It suddenly occurred to me that we hadn’t talked about my job since our break-up. “Unless you’d rather I wasn’t working here.”

“Don’t ever think that.” His tone was harsh, final. “If you think you can’t work with me as your owner, I’ll give you the club.” He would too, knowing him.

And that was definitely not a gift I could accept. “I just want to keep my job, thank you.”

He softened. “It’s yours as long as you want it.” He pushed my hand that still held the envelope back toward me. “And the certificate—keep it. You can use it anytime you want. There’s no expiration.” His fingers lingered on mine.

Was this what we’d been reduced to? Stealing touches at any opportunity possible? Making up reasons to talk?

I pulled my hand—and the envelope—away from his. “Fine. Whatever.”

A chill ran through me, though the night was warm. Frantically, I searched for something else to say. “There’s another thing.” I took a deep breath. There really was something I’d been avoiding. “I need to get my stuff from the penthouse.”

His mouth tightened. “I wish you wouldn’t do that.”

I ignored him. It was the easiest way to deal with statements like that. Especially when I so liked the way they sounded on his lips. “I want to come get the rest of my things Monday.”

“I can have it packed and moved for you, if you’d like.”

“I’d rather pack it myself.” If he packed, I’d end up with all sorts of things that didn’t belong to me—things he wanted me to have. As sweet as it might be, I didn’t want his gifts. I also didn’t have any room for them in the apartment with Liesl. Even if we got a two-bedroom place together as we’d been talking about doing, we couldn’t afford anything that big.

“At least let me arrange a truck.” His tone was insistent, but his eyes were pleading. It was hard to resist.

So I didn’t. “Okay. You can do that.” Only because it was going to be a pain to do it myself. And he did owe me.

“It’s done.” His lip curled up at the edge. “This doesn’t mean I’m done trying to win you back.”

“I didn’t think for a second that it did.” Though I bit back a smile, my pleasure at his declaration showed in my voice.

Hudson tilted his head to study me. “You say that as if you almost enjoy my groveling.”

I rolled my eyes and turned toward the club with a wave. But I couldn’t resist calling back over my shoulder, “I couldn’t say, H. I haven’t really seen you grovel yet.”

* * *

Friday and Saturday saw more gifts delivered—a coffee table book of pictures from the Poconos and concert tickets to Phillip Phillips.

“He’s, like, recalling your entire relationship with this stuff, isn’t he?” Liesl said on Sunday as I opened the box that had arrived that morning. “I hate to say it, but he’s kinda good.”

I wadded up the brown packaging paper from the box and tossed it at her. “Shut up.”

“What’s this one?”

“I don’t know yet.” I pulled out the John Legend CD I found inside and read the song list on back. I knew of the artist but had never listened to any of his music. The case wasn’t sealed so I opened it easily and found Hudson’s note.

This is the song that makes me think of you. Track 6. - H

R&B. Huh. Hudson rarely listened to music around me. When he did, he deferred to me to choose. I didn’t even know what style he liked. Was this it?

I looked back at the song list and found track six. “All of Me,” I read out loud. “I don’t know it. Do you?”

“Never heard of it. Let’s stick it in.” She grinned and added her own, “That’s what she said.”

Shaking my head at her, I pulled out my new laptop, put in the disc and pushed play on the track Hudson had indicated. I leaned my head back against the futon and listened.

The song started with a haunting piano line. Then a tenor voice crooned about a beautiful woman with a smart mouth who had the singer distracted and spinning. He was a mess, but it was all good, because no matter how crazy she made him, she was still everything to him.

It was the chorus that had me in tears, when he sang about “all of me” loving “all of you” and offered to give all of himself to her in exchange for the same.

Sure, it was just a song, but if it really held the message that Hudson meant for me to hear, well, I couldn’t help but hear it loud and clear. If he could really give all of himself to me—no more walls, no more secrets—then what was left holding us back? The past?

But my own history was imperfect. I’d even shown him my flaws on more than one occasion. He’d forgiven me and stuck around. Fixed me and found me and made me whole.

And now…

Not saying a word when I set the song to repeat, Liesl sat next to me and pulled me to her shoulder.

“Liesl, I don’t care anymore,” I sobbed into her shirt. “Even if I shouldn’t be with him, I can’t live without him. He makes me feel better about me. I don’t care anymore about what he did in the past. I only care that he’s around in my future.”

She rocked me back and forth. “No one’s telling you what you should or shouldn’t do here. Either way, you got my support.”

“Good, because I think I’m going to give him another chance.” I wasn’t quite sure what that chance would be yet—dinner? A date? Lots of dates?

That was a decision for tomorrow.

* * *

Though I didn’t have a lot to pack up from the penthouse, I wanted to get started on it early enough in the day that we’d be long gone before Hudson arrived home from work. Getting Liesl anywhere before noon, however, proved difficult.

“Maybe I could join you later,” she said, burying her head in her pillow at my first attempt to drag her out of bed.

“But I need you the whole time,” I whined. “Please?”

The pleading worked, but she tried again to get out of going as we were getting in the cab. Then at The Bowery, she suggested that she make a coffee run and join me later.

“There’s a beautiful Keurig inside. Best coffee ever. I’ll make you as many mugs as you want.” Maybe Liesl wasn’t really big on packing.

“Fine.”

It was much easier to go inside the building with Liesl along. As we went up in the elevator, I wrapped my arm around hers, grateful for the support. Though I hadn’t been living there for two weeks, moving out was big. It reeked of finality. And with my recent decision to let Hudson back in my life in some way, I wasn’t quite looking for finality. I needed Liesl to talk me out of anything stupid.

Like deciding to leave my stuff there and not move out.

When the door opened to the apartment, I waited for Liesl to step out first. She didn’t move so I went ahead of her. I turned around and put my hand on the side to keep the elevator open. “Aren’t you coming?”

“Uh…” her eyes grew wide. Then she pushed my arm out of the door and pressed a button on the call panel. “Don’t hate me!” she called as the doors shut.

What the fuck? I heaved a frustrated air of breath out of my lungs and closed my eyes. Either Liesl had somewhere else she wanted to be or she had something up her sleeve. And if it was the latter, there was no doubt Hudson was involved.

Might as well find out what was up.

I opened my eyes and peered around the corner of the foyer toward the living area. It was empty. Not just empty as in no Hudson, but empty as in no furniture. None. I wandered into the room to be sure I wasn’t going crazy.

Well, if I were going crazy, the delusion I was having was of an apartment with no furniture. I glanced at the dining room. Also empty. Strangely, the place didn’t feel any more cold and lonely than it had when I’d been there the last time. But the emptiness put me off. I couldn’t understand what it meant. Was my stuff gone as well?

I backtracked and pushed the door open to the library. This room was only mostly empty. The sofa and desk and all the rest of the furniture were gone, but the shelves still contained all my books and movies. The books I’d pulled that Celia had marked were gone from the floor, but several boxes were stacked against the wall.

I walked toward the stack, intending to peek in and see if the books were there, but it was sealed.

“Those are new books.”

Ah, there he is.

I turned slightly to find Hudson leaning in the doorframe. Again he was wearing jeans and a t-shirt. Dammit, he hadn’t even planned on going to work if he was dressed like that. And he looked extra yummy. Somehow he had arranged that as well, I was sure of it.

He nodded again at the box I was still touching. “They’re for you. To replace the ones that had been damaged.”

“Oh,” I said. Then I frowned.

“What is it?”

“I have nowhere to put all these.” I hadn’t intended to take them. They were beautiful and I loved them, but in New York City, that many books were a luxury.

He sighed softly and I could tell the rejection of his gift hurt, no matter what the reason. But all he said was, “I’ll keep them for as long as you want me to.”