Molly McAdams - Forgiving Lies

This was the first rejection he’d taken well, and it threw me off for a moment. “Um, yes?”

“Let’s go then.”

“Whoa, wait. Go where? Its Wednesday, not Friday. And I said no anyway.”

“You said no to a date with me. The date was on Friday. So we aren’t going on a date. We’re just going to go walk, hang out, whatever you want. But it’s not a date.” He stepped close enough that we were sharing the same air and his voice got low and husky. “If you want to call it something, we can call it exercising or seeing Austin. You can hardly count that as a date, Rach.”

I was momentarily stunned by the effect his voice and blue eyes had on me. “Um . . .” I blinked rapidly and looked down to clear my head. “I’ve lived here almost three years, I don’t need to see the sights.”

“Perfect, I don’t get out much other than to come to work, so I do. You can be my tour guide.”

“Blake—”

“Come on, Rachel.”

Not giving me an option, he grabbed on to my arm and began towing me out of the building. I caught sight of Candice and she waved excitedly as she watched us leave.

Why was she smiling? I sure as hell wasn’t smiling, and Blake was practically dragging me away! He could have been hauling me off to slaughter me and leave my remains on a pig farm for all she knew, and Candice was just going to sit there and wave like a lunatic? Playground. Love. Over. Best-friend card officially revoked.

As soon as we were outside, I yanked my arm free and continued to follow Blake as he made his way off campus. Well, at least he was right about one thing: I couldn’t count this as a date. No way would I have worn baggy sweats cut off at my calves and a tight tank on a date.

“Are you still mad?”

I glanced up to see his stupid smirk, which I kind of hated right now. “Why would I be mad? I was just dragged out of a building to go walk with a guy I turned down for a date.”

His smirk turned into a full-blown smile. “Still mad,” he said, and looked ahead. “Although I always did find your temper adorable, let me know when you’re not.”

Thirty minutes later I was getting tired of following him around. Tour guide my nonexistent ass. He wasn’t looking at anything. He was walking with a purpose and hadn’t looked back at me since he’d asked if I was mad.

“So, this has been awesome and all. Are you going to tell me where we’re going now?”

“Are you going to tell me what you’re mad about?”

“I’m not mad!”

He slowed his pace so he was directly next to me and I was surprised to see him looking at me completely seriously. “Yes you are, Rach. If you didn’t want to go on the date on Friday, you would have never agreed, and you wouldn’t be following me right now.” I opened my mouth but he cut me off. “You would have gone back to your dorm and you know it. I was two steps ahead of you the entire time; you could have turned back if you were really mad at me.”

“You didn’t even give me an option to say no!” He raised an eyebrow and I huffed, “All right. Fine. Maybe I am mad.”

“And you’re mad at me.”

“Yeah, Blake, I am.”

“But not because I pulled you out of the building.”

Oh my word, he was so infuriating! “Uh, yeah, I’m pretty sure that’s why I’m mad. Are you going to start telling me I’m not hungry either? Since you all of a sudden seem to know me so well?”

He pulled me to a stop and moved to stand directly in front of me, tipping my head back with his fingers under my chin. “You’re mad because of the girls around me when you walked in this afternoon.”

“I—”

“And I told you I only see you. I’ll tell you that over and over again until you understand that. They mean nothing, nor do I notice anything other than the fact that they talk like they’re in middle school.”

“I don’t care about them the way you think I do. When I saw it, it just reminded me why I never wanted to go on a date with you in the first place. Nothing more, nothing less.”

“You’re lying, Rachel.” I could smell the mint from his gum and feel his breath on my lips, and suddenly I was wondering if I was lying. There must have been something in his gum that put me in a daze. “It’s fine to admit you were getting jealous. I hate seeing the way Aaron looks at you, and you work with him every day.”

I was so not getting jeal— Wait. What?! Aaron’s gay. I leaned away from his nearness and started to tell him when I realized we were on top of a bridge surrounded by a bunch of people just standing there looking toward the side like they were waiting for something. I pointed toward the people. “Uh . . . am I missing something?”

Blake looked a little smug as he glanced at his watch, then the sky. “Nope, give it a couple minutes. We got here just in time.”

Aaron, his sexuality, and the fact that Blake had gotten jealous over my flaming gay friend completely forgotten, I looked at the sky, then pulled out my phone to check the time. There was nothing special about the time from what I could tell. As for the sky, it was nearly dusk, and although it was beautiful I didn’t know why that was anything worth noting either. Glancing at the people and the street around us, I turned and saw the street sign and did a double take. We were on Congress Avenue.

“Oh no. No, no, no, no, no!” I started backing up but ended up against Blake’s chest. His arms circled around me, effectively keeping me there. I felt his silent laughter.

“I take it you know about this then. Ever seen it?”

“No, and there’s a reason. I’m terrified of—” Just then, close to a million bats took flight from underneath the bridge. A small shriek escaped my lips and I clamped my hands over my mouth, like my sound would attract the bats to me.

There was nothing silent about his next laugh. Blake tightened his arms around me and I leaned into him more. I’d like to say it was purely because my biggest fear was flying out around me, but I’d be lying if I said his musky cologne, strong arms, and chest had nothing to do with it either. This was something I’d wanted for years, and I almost couldn’t believe that I was finally there, in his arms.

I continued to watch in utter horror and slight fascination as the stream of bats, which seemed to never end, continued to leave the shelter of the bridge and fly out into the slowly darkening sky.

Minutes later, Blake leaned in and put his lips up against my ear. “Was that really so bad?”

Forcing my hand from my mouth, I exhaled shakily and shook my head. “Not as bad as I’d imagined. Doesn’t change the fact that they are ugly and easily the grossest thing I’ve ever seen.”

“But now you can say you’ve faced one of your fears.”

“The biggest.”

“See?” He let go of me and started walking again in the direction we’d come from. “You up for a drink?”

I realized I was still shaking so I nodded my head and followed him. “Just one though.”

We walked for well over half an hour while Blake tried to re-create my shriek at seeing the bats and I accused him of doing that with every girl so he’d have an excuse to put his arms around her. The air between us was much more relaxed this time as he asked about my life after he’d joined the air force. I told him all about the end of middle school and high school but never once mentioned my parents. I wasn’t sure if he knew about them or not, but there was no point in bringing up that hurt. Besides, if he had known, he hadn’t even come back for the funeral. Just as we were passing the school, Blake slid his hand down my arm and intertwined our fingers.

“Rachel, why did you finally agree to go out with me?”

When I looked up, I was surprised at his somber expression. I would have expected something a little more taunting. “Do you want me to answer that honestly?”

“I’d appreciate it. I’ve asked you out for . . . shit. I don’t know, nine months now? No matter what I said, your answer was always no. Until last night.”

“Well . . .” I looked down at the sidewalk passing beneath our feet.

“You can tell me, it’s fine. You never were one to hide your feelings. And your hate for me lately has been a little more than apparent. I’m already expecting the worst.”

“I don’t hate you. I just don’t exactly like you . . . anymore.” I squinted up at him and nudged his side with the arm he still had a firm grip on.

He gave a little grunt with a forced smile.

“Um, Candice is always bugging me for turning you down. She said she would stop if I agreed to one date with you.” I know, I know, I could have made something up that wasn’t so harsh. But I didn’t. If I hadn’t looked back down, I probably would have missed the pause in his step.

“Figures.” We walked for a few more minutes before he paused and turned to me. “I’m not going to make you go out with me.”

“You aren’t. I said I’d go.”

He raised an eyebrow, making it disappear under his shaggy hair. “You also told me earlier today that we weren’t going anymore. I’m just letting you know I’ll stop. All of it. Asking you all the time, what I did today. And I’ll talk to Candice.”

“Blake—”

“No, Rach, I should have stopped a long time ago. I’m sorry you felt pressured into it last night. I want you to want to go on a date with me. I don’t want you to go just so she’ll drop it or because you want me to quit asking. Which I will.” I couldn’t tell if he looked more embarrassed or hurt.

Is it ridiculous that I want to comfort him? “I want to go.”

“No, you don’t.”

Okay, still somewhat true. “I didn’t . . . before.” Ugh, who am I kidding. He knows I’m lying anyway. “Look, I don’t know what you want me to say. You can’t exactly blame me for not wanting to go out with you.” He looked as if I’d slapped him. I hurried on before I could chicken out on the rest. “I mean, come on, Blake, you were rumored to be screwing all these students, coworkers, and faculty. And not once did you try to shut down those rumors. Add to that, the Blake I grew up with is completely gone; now you’re usually kind of a douche. Why would I want to go out with someone like that?”

“Rumors are going to spread no matter what I do. The more I try to stop them, the guiltier I look. Trust me. As for you thinking I’m a douche . . .” His voice trailed off and he ran a hand through his hair. “Try seeing it from my side. The only girl I’ve wanted for years now and can’t get out of my head no matter what I do repeatedly blows me off like I’m nothing.”

Did he say years?

Letting go of my hand, he turned away from me and ran a hand agitatedly through his hair. “Come on, I’ll walk you back to your dorm.”

“What about drinks?”

“I’m not going to make you do this, Rachel.”

“Blake, why can’t you just be like this all the time? If how you were growing up, last night, and the last hour was how you always were . . . I probably wouldn’t have ever turned you down.”

He huffed a sad laugh. “Yeah, well . . . obviously I’ve already fucked that up.”

I watched him begin walking in the direction of the dorms and squeezed my eyes shut as I called after him, “You know, you kinda traumatized me tonight. I feel like you owe me a beer.” Peeking through my eyelashes, I saw him stop but not turn around. “And maybe dinner on Friday night?”

When Blake turned to face me, his smile was wide and breathtaking.

Rachel

DRINKS WITH BLAKE had actually been more fun than I would have thought, and we’d ended up spending Thursday afternoon and evening together as well. He seemed to slip back into the Blake that Candice and I had spent years following around. On Friday, when I stepped into the athletic center, I was met with three red roses and a heart-stopping grin. He’d said that regardless of his reasoning on Wednesday afternoon, he was counting the bats and bar on Wednesday, and movies on the couch in my dorm room on Thursday, as dates. So Friday night would be our third and deserved three roses.

I’m not gonna lie, I totally did the aww, you’re so sweet girly thing as I took the roses from him and kissed his cheek in front of the circle of girls he was doing pretty well at fully ignoring. When Candice dragged me out of the center not even an hour later to go get a pedicure and have me start getting ready for the date, she pressed me for every single detail of my time with Blake thus far. She was really rooting for this whole actually-being-related thing.