Rebecca Zanetti - Forgotten Sins

“We targeted you because of Fuller Labs.”

She stilled. In a million years she hadn’t expected his answer. “Why?”

“Scientists at Fuller used to work with the commander. We think. Some of Fuller’s research includes genetic engineering.”

Her mind spun. “Who’s the commander?”

“The monster who trained us from birth. The man in charge of our program.”

“You remember?”

“Yes. Everything but the last two years.”

His childhood was sad and had damaged him. But he’d made the choice as an adult to use her—to hurt her. Right now she needed to let go of her dream of a happy ending. “So you used me to get their financial records?”

“Yes.” Shane’s voice remained steady. “I monitored their finances before and then during our marriage.”

Sharp knives slashed through her insides. Only true force of will kept her from doubling over. Even so, tears pricked the back of her eyes. “Wait a minute. All of my computer problems—the ones you helped me to fix…”

He shifted. “Yes. I messed with your computer to gain access to the files.”

No wonder her laptop was always having issues. She’d been so grateful to Shane for fixing the problems. The bastard had created the problems.

Heat blazed between her ears. Memories followed suit. All those late nights when he was supposed to be working, where was he? All those little coincidences of her files being slightly rearranged in her office gave her a clue. “Did you break into my office, too?”

“Yes.”

She shook her head. “How? I mean, they had cameras.”

“I took care of the cameras. Apparently nobody really checked them, because there was never an outcry.”

There was never an outcry because nothing had ever been taken. There was no warning.

Another memory almost had her scratching at his face. “What about when I fainted the night we went to pick up the file folders I thought I’d forgotten?” She’d never fainted before—and she’d been sure she’d taken the right folders home.

He flushed a dark red. “I hid the files so we had to go back to your office, and ah, you didn’t faint.”

She’d come to lying on the sofa in her office, and Shane had been so concerned, so gentle. “You knocked me out?”

“Yes.” His eyes darkened. “I’m sorry.”

He was fucking sorry? Rage had her almost seeing double, while hurt pounded through her entire body. “You asshole. Why did you marry me?” She struggled to keep her lips from trembling. “Why not just continue to screw me?”

Shane gave a short nod of his head. “Marrying you was not part of the plan. Believe me, my marriage pissed off my brothers to no end.” Emotion deepened his voice. “I wanted you, Josie. Still do. With everything I am.” He tugged her closer. Pain twisted his lips, and his eyes glimmered. “I knew I shouldn’t marry you. I knew what the danger would mean. But I convinced myself I could keep you safe.”

Such pretty words. “You lied to me. The entire time we were married.”

“Yes. I abandoned you, thinking it would keep you safe.” He looked up and shook his head, his nostrils flaring. “I didn’t know how badly it would hurt you, and I’m so sorry.” His voice lowered to guttural, his pain palpable.

The room hazed. She looked away, trying to dispel the hurt in her chest. Soothing him wasn’t her job. “I don’t believe you really wanted me. When you’d finished the job, you discarded me. Like an old coat, one that didn’t matter.”

“Not true. Jory died, and we knew there was only a short time to get information. I had to go and fast.” His grip tightened. “I didn’t think the investigation would take two years. I planned to return for you. No way could I stay away forever.”

Incredulity had her breath catching. Anger slapped pain to the floor. “Wait a minute. You get the divorce papers, head up to see me, and instead of knocking on my door with a ‘Hi honey, good to see ya,’ you bug my house?”

“Well… I don’t remember that yet, but I assume I checked out your house, found the bugs, and decided to find out what was going on.” Doubt wrinkled his forehead but was quickly smoothed out.

“So you used me as bait. In case the commander had found me.” Hurt flashed hard and bright. She couldn’t believe it.

“No. I may not remember, but no way would I ever use you as bait.” His hands tightened on her hips. “From the pictures we found in the little house, I was keeping you in my sight at all times—and I had a go-bag packed for you.”

“Is that so?” If she grew any madder, her head might blow off. “So kidnapping was a possibility.”

“Sure.”

Reality settled in her stomach like a flare of light. “No. We started on a lie, and we ended on a lie.” She met his gaze head on. Not flinching. “We’re done.”

His eyes softened. “I know I hurt you, baby. I’m sorry.”

“You can’t keep me here.”

He huffed out a low chuckle, weariness tightening his face. “You have no idea what I can do, angel. What I will do to keep you here. Keep you safe.”

“I have a pretty good idea how far you’ll stoop.” She aimed her words to cut. “Nothing would surprise me now.” Her thigh muscles bunched to leap off him. His hands pressed her immobile, and her anger flared back to the surface. “Let me go.”

Self-disgust curled his lip. “I can’t.” Heat coursed off his palms to her thighs. “Right now we need to figure out who is after your files, and I need to keep you safe.” His long fingers curled around to grip her legs.

Even now, with hurt and anger riding her hard, she longed for what might’ve been. But she’d listened to her heart long enough with Shane. She was a smart woman, and it was time to let her brain take over. “No. We’re done.”

Genuine surprise flashed in his eyes.

Her focus cleared. “You truly think I’ll let you treat me like this? That you’re so irresistible I won’t walk away?” She lowered her chin. “Watch me.” Determination straightened her shoulders. The arrogance of the man. Yes, she’d been stupid to even think about trusting him again, and she was now paying the price. But enough was enough.

“I left because I knew you were safe. Or at least I thought you were.”

“I don’t care. Anger filtered through his eyes, but she really didn’t care. “It doesn’t matter why you lied, why you left. What matters is the fact that you lied and you left. How can you not understand?”

“You love me.” His lips tightened into a straight line. “To a good woman, to a soft woman, that means everything.”

She snapped her teeth shut, almost relieved when her brain took over. When focus became easier than hurt. “I do love you, Shane.” Her frown actually made her forehead ache. “But do you really think you’re the only one able to walk away from us? You were right to leave. It’s better that way.” She blew out a breath. “I can walk away, too.”

Sympathy for him almost stopped her words. Almost. He really didn’t understand. Poor guy raised without a mother, with some idealized view of what women should be. She’d been alone her entire life. Even during her marriage. Seeing the real Shane this last week only made that truth clearer. She leaned closer, her eyes an inch from his. “I. Can. Leave. You. And I will.”

This time, he let her go.

* * *

Matt stomped his feet on the porch, just in case his brother was getting busy. He hoped Shane figured out the right path—away from Josie. Though Matt understood. From a young age, they’d all had a fantasy about what real families were like. They’d wondered what they’d done wrong to be so alone. Maybe being created by men instead of God marked them for life. Deep down, he was pretty sure of it.

He nudged open the door, slipping inside.

Shane sat on the sofa, a notebook in his hand, his gaze unblinking on the far wall.

“Ah, where’s Josie?” Matt ripped off his shirt and wiped his brow. It had felt good to run through the woods in the cold of fall again. To hear the wildlife and be kissed by the sun.

“In the bedroom.” Shane looked up with blank eyes. “I think she just dumped me.” Incredulousness whipped a flush over his cheekbones.

Matt raised an eyebrow. “Dumped you?” The innocuous words tasted weird on his tongue. “As in a regular relationship type of dumped you?”

“Yeah.” Shane frowned at the empty hallway.

“Huh.” Matt kicked off his combat boots. “I don’t think any of us has ever been dumped.” Sure, they’d had lovers try to kill them. But never just… dump them. “So, ah, what are you going to do?”

Shane shrugged. “I have no idea.”

Maybe it was better this way. Though the frown on Shane’s face revoked that thought. “Shane, we’ve been trained by the best psychologists in the world to manipulate people. You can win her back.”

“No.” His brother threw the notebook down on the sofa. “This is real. Not the same.”

Well, now. That was true. Matt rubbed his chin. “I’ll talk to her.”

Shane snorted. “You can’t fix everything.” He stood, stretching his neck. “I may not remember all of my childhood, but you, I remember. Always present, always trying to protect us.” His eyes darkened. “Thank you.”

Matt shook his head. He didn’t deserve the gratitude. Nathan had spent a lot more time raising Shane and Jory than he had. Besides, if he’d done his job, Jory would be alive. “I’m taking a shower.”

Shane stood and headed for the door. “I need some fresh air.”

Matt sighed. “We should get out of here. Your wife needs to get those files from her work tomorrow.”

Shane nodded, his back to Matt. “She will.”

Shane sat on the rough porch step and threw rocks across the field, his mind spinning. Thunder rolled across the sky, a perfect match for his mood. Josie had meant the words—she really was finished with him. Maybe it was for the best.

The idea of losing her ripped him apart, and the thought of betraying his brothers sliced deep. Why would staying married betray his brothers? Because it added that much danger to all of them—especially to him. As brothers, they’d always been each other’s weak spots. He shook his head. This was all so fucked up.

The sky opened up, and rain slashed down.

Nathan stalked up from the forest, casting a large shadow. He’d been walking all day.

Shane stretched out his legs. Irritation heated through him. “Where the hell have you been?”

“Out.” Nathan glanced up at the clouds covering the moon. “My red-eye leaves in an hour, and I thought I’d grab my laptop.”

“Good idea,” Shane snapped.

Nathan lifted an eyebrow. “Is there something you’d like to say?”

“No.” Shane’s hands curled into fists.

Nathan stomped dirt off his boots, squishing wet leaves. “Out with it, Shane.”

Shane bounded to his feet and into the deluge. “My memories aren’t all the way back, but you’ve always been a bossy bastard, haven’t you?”

Nathan’s eyelids slowly rose, while his chin lowered. “Watch yourself, little brother. That head injury gives you some leeway, but not much.”

“Screw you.” Frustration needed an outlet, and Shane was looking at a good one.

Nathan slowly removed his coat, folded it, and set it inside the SUV, his gaze never leaving Shane. Rain matted his hair to his head. “What’s your fucking problem?” Curiosity, not heat, rode his deep voice.

Shane eyed his brother. “Oh, you’re so damn calm, so uncaring, aren’t you?” The instant flare in Nate’s eyes pleased him. Instinct told Shane just where to strike. “You can’t keep a woman, so nobody gets one? Really?”

Nathan smiled, and his fist shot out.

The right cross threw Shane against the porch railing. Satisfaction welled through him along with the pain. “That’s what I thought.” He ducked his head and charged his brother, hitting him in the midsection. Metal crunched when they crashed into the wet Jeep.

He shot a hard punch into Nate’s jaw.

Nate’s head snapped back, and he rolled them over, straddling Shane. Wet pine needles coated his neck. Two hard punches to the face, and Shane saw stars.

Damn it.

He shoved Nathan off and pushed to his feet, kicking Nate in the chest. His brother rolled backward and flipped to his feet.

Shane stepped back and then settled his stance.

Nate wiped blood off his mouth. “No matter how hard you hit, or how hard I hit you, the pain won’t go away. Deal with it.”

The ring of truth made Shane see red. He rushed forward in a tackle, and Nathan fell back, tossing him over his head. Shane twisted, turned, and moved to tackle again, only to run smack into Matt.