K. Tucker - Four Seconds to Lose

That life could truly be part of my past.

And then I could actually look at Cain as part of my future. I’ll have to tell him about this one day, of course. But, by then, maybe he’ll actually love me. Enough to be able to forgive me.

* * *

I don’t walk through Cain’s door.

I float. On a fluffy white cloud of shock and confusion and possibilities and hope that never existed before, I float through the condo, in search of a possible new future. I find it on the balcony, stretched out on a lounge chair with a book.

Cain looks up to see me standing over him. “Charlie?” He watches for a moment and then frowns. “What’s wrong?”

Pushing the book free from his grip, I force myself onto the chair to lie atop him, taking in his bewildered expression.

And the tears begin to fall.

Cain is beside himself, his body going rigid. “What’s wrong, Charlie?” His hands, his eyes, begin searching my limbs as if searching for a physical injury. And still I cry, only now my laughter begins to weave in, sending me into a borderline hysterical fit of sobs, as I choke back the tears enough to say, “Nothing’s wrong.”

Cain must think I’m insane.

Maybe I am.

Or maybe this is what happens when you break free of a trap.

Whenever I look at her, a hot burn fills my chest.

I don’t know how I ever lasted a day without Charlie. Both work-wise and life-wise, I’ve never spent this much time with another human being. Not even Nate, who lived with me for several years.

I don’t even mind coming into Penny’s anymore. The place feels different. It’s not just me anymore. Now I have Charlie at my side. And those knots in my shoulders that never go away?

Fucking gone. Like magic.

Charlie magic.

She never explained what happened that day she came home and fell into a fit of tears on top of me. It took me a minute to accept that she wasn’t hurt and she was actually happy, but when I tried to get answers out of her, she quickly shut me up by sliding her tongue in my mouth.

“Anything else you think we need?” Charlie asks, finishing off another week’s schedule at my office desk. “I put the supply orders in as well. And we should have a beer delivery coming within a few hours.” She knows the distributor customer service reps by name and we’re somehow getting better service because of it, without any more of Ginger’s shows.

All in all, Charlie is a quick learner and a hard worker. Fortunately for me, she hasn’t learned not to wear dresses to work yet. “Perhaps.” I dip down to close my mouth over that long, delicate neck.

“What ever happened to your rules?” she teases with a giggle, throwing down her pen. “For such a stickler, you sure have done a one-eighty.”

“New rule,” I murmur. “You’re not allowed to wear this yellow dress in here.” It’s the same one she wore the day of her interview, when she let it drop to the floor in front of me. From where I’m standing, I have the perfect view down the top of it. I’d rather have the full view. Before she has a chance to object, I have the straps pushed off her shoulders and her dress and bra pulled down, exposing those flawless tits of hers.

“Cain!” she exclaims as I reach around to cup each one, their weight perfectly balanced within my hands. I know her body very well.

“You shouldn’t wear dresses if you don’t want me to do this. Or this.” In seconds I have my hands at her waist to hoist her out of her chair, kicking it out of the way. I press into her, letting her feel me so she knows exactly what’s coming. “Lean over,” I whisper, pushing all the paper on my desk to one side with a sweep of my hand.

“Everyone’s waiting for us out there,” she whispers breathlessly, but she follows orders and stretches her bared top half over the cool wood, looking over her shoulder at me with that devilish smile of hers that I love. Though she has accused me of being insatiable on several occasions, she never denies me. “Did you lock the door?”

“Of course,” I mutter, hiking the skirt of her dress up around her waist. Round, muscular cheeks meet my gaze. I only lock it when she’s in here with me. And when she’s in here with me, it’s always locked.

I hook a finger around the thin material of her thong and pull until it slides off and drops to the ground. Slipping a hand in between her legs, I offer her a smirk, which she accepts with a dark smile of her own. She’s always ready for me.

I don’t waste another second, unzipping my pants as I reach into the top drawer for a condom.

“Fuck,” I mutter, slamming it shut.

She frowns at me.

“We’re out.” I can’t believe I didn’t notice that. I’m going to be left with a raging hard-on unless . . . I haven’t been inside a woman, uncovered, since I was an idiotic seventeen-year-old. Feeling Charlie, skin to skin, would be ecstasy. Right now I’m thinking I don’t give a fuck. But I know I will after. On my desk isn’t how I want that first to go. “We need to get you on the pill.”

I catch the wary expression flash over her features. It’s the same one she gave me when I suggested she give up her apartment. I understand it. She wonders if I’m crazy. If we’re moving too fast.

In my eyes, though, there’s only one speed with Charlie. Now.

Standing, she turns to face me. Her fingers push their way down my hips, snaking under my briefs to chill my bare skin. She pulls everything down, letting my erection spring free. “It seems you have a problem, then,” she says with a smirk. “Sit.”

I do and she’s on her knees in a heartbeat, positioning herself on the floor in front of me, between my legs. When both of her delicate hands curl around my length, I let my head fall back and I close my eyes.

And I wait.

I wait in agony, knowing what’s coming, ready to explode with just the anticipation of her hot breath. She’s so good at this. She’s not nearly as practiced as Vicki and Rebecka are, but I’m happy about that because it means . . . she’s not as practiced as them. And there’s something about the way she goes about this that tells me that it’s not a means to her own satisfaction. Charlie wants to do this for me. That thought makes me almost lose it.

When I sense the wetness of her tongue along my tip, I almost do explode.

It takes everything in me not to go off like a thirteen-year-old seeing a naked woman’s body for the first time.

I groan when she takes me in completely, as she teases me with her lips, her tongue, her teeth. I let my hands fall around the back of her head, gently scooping her hair up and back so I can see her face. She must hear my raspy breaths, sense my buildup, because her mouth begins working quicker, more ardently.

Normally I would lie back, close my eyes, and drift. But I like to watch Charlie. I could watch her doing this every day for the rest of my life.

And I can’t help but think that I’ll never want anyone else’s mouth on me ever again.

“The doors are locked!” Ben slaps his earpiece down on the bar in front of me. “Should I hand my piece to you, Miss Manager?” It’s Ben’s last shift at Penny’s. He’s putting on a big show of celebration but behind those blue eyes, I’ve caught a few glimpses of sadness. I know he’s going to miss working here.

Shaking my head, I say, “Give it to Nate. I don’t want to touch your wax-covered piece.”

“No?” He shoves a pretzel into his mouth, his grin widening. “What about my latex-covered piece?” Ben apparently checked out of work about two hours ago and since then has been drinking by the bar, celebrating with the regular customers, so he’s good and primed.

“Fuck off, Morris,” Cain growls, appearing behind me to grip my hips and pull me into him.

Ben looks from me to his now ex-boss with a smirk, as if he knows what we were doing not fifteen minutes ago in his office. “Or what? You gonna fire me?”

“No, I’m going to ban you from Penny’s.”

That wrenches Ben’s smile fast. “Well, fuck. I better get my fill, then,” he mutters, running over to grab Mercy by the thighs to hoist her over his shoulder. She squeals and smacks his back, though there doesn’t appear to be much force behind it.

With a chuckle and a shake of his head, Cain dips down to kiss the crook of my neck. I’m still shocked by his willingness to show his affection so openly. It’s been a fast change but a dramatic one. And everyone seems to be accepting of it.

Almost everyone.

In my peripheral vision, I see China watching the display. I avoid her and she pretends I don’t exist. It’s the perfect level of interaction. I know Cain sees a side of her that I don’t see. That no one else sees. Still, I don’t trust her. I can’t help but wonder, if she attacked me as she had Kinsley, what Cain would do. Would he make a choice between us? And would that choice be me?

I don’t doubt that China has strong feelings for Cain. I mean, how can she not? She’s known him for years. I’ve known him for six weeks—half of that intimately—and I already can’t manage life without him.

For all that I hate about what I’ve done, there’s one thing I can’t regret.

It led me to him.

I don’t know if things are moving too fast. I’m too ensconced in this Cain high to appreciate basic rules and he seems uninterested in slowing down. He’s filling his kitchen with Frosted Flakes and every other kind of food I might like, talking about me moving in, giving me a key to his condo, practically demanding that I go on the pill.

Everything about him screams “future.”

And I haven’t heard a peep from Sam. Though I still keep my eyes open, always aware of my surroundings, it’s not with the same level of trepidation as before. It’s more out of habit than anything else.

“Bartender!” I hear Kacey holler, slapping her hands against the bar as if in a drum roll. Behind her, Trent towers, his hands around her waist, those deep dimples on full display as he winks at Ginger.

“Charlie.” Storm strolls over, looking fresh and beautiful, even though it’s the middle of the night and she should be sleeping. She doesn’t hesitate to offer me a hug. “How’s it going? How is being Cain’s manager working out?”

“Less exposing,” I answer truthfully and then can’t help but smirk, because that’s not really true. I’m just less exposed to the general population. Cain’s “no sex in the workplace” rule has fallen by the wayside. Daily.

“Where is the jackass?” Kacey’s eyes roam the club as Ginger lines up a row of tequila shots.

“Right here!” Ben hollers, seconds before he swoops in to lift Kacey’s frame from behind into a big hug. Dropping her on the ground, he slaps Trent’s shoulder in greeting and grabs a shot from the bar just as the overhead lights shut off and the stage lights flash on once again.

“Let’s get this party started!” Terry’s voice spills out over the speaker system, followed by “Lady Marmalade.” A parade of dancers strut out from behind the curtain wearing an array of brightly colored burlesque costumes. Ben’s face lights up like a kid at an ice-cream shop. Ginger told me they were planning something extra-special for their favorite bouncer’s send-off. Though nothing is choreographed, it’s quite the spectacle all the same.

“To Lawyer Boy. God help us all!” Kacey shouts and we all—including Cain—grab a shot and down it, the burn scorching my throat. Nate and a few of the other bouncers drag Ben, completely willingly, over to pervert row to enjoy the performance.

“All right, Dee!” Gingers exclaims, clapping her hands together. “We’re gonna make Ben puke tonight. Trust me, he’ll deserve it. Cain . . .” She bows. “Will you do the honor of the first drink?”

I watch with surprise as Cain pulls away from me to round the corner. I don’t think I’ve ever actually seen him behind the bar, but I’d imagine years of owning one would give him plenty of opportunity to practice. He moves easily, not even reading labels before he’s got four bottles lined up in front of him. He smiles to himself as he begins deftly measuring and pouring the gold tequila into three separate mixers.

Next goes the Jim Beam and the bourbon. By the time I see him tipping back the scotch, I’m pretty sure I’d rather light my tongue on fire than drink what he’s making. Glancing over at Ben, lying shirtless on the stage with his arms nestled under his head, a dreamy grin on his face and both Hannah and Mercy dancing provocatively over him, I wonder if he should be drinking it either.