C. Brown - Fraternizing

We stayed for another half hour before Alex began his goodbyes. We had a long trek back to Twentynine and sadly, we’d have to cut out earlier than he may have wanted to. He went around the yard, saying goodbye and hugging everyone. His grandma made her way over to where I stood, using a semi friendly voice to say goodbye. The interaction was brief, but it was much better than the initial meeting, so I took what I could get. Imelda and Adriana followed us out, Abel in his grandmother’s arms.

“Safe drive back, guys. And don’t be a stranger, Cassie,” Imelda said, leaning over and kissing my cheek.

“I’ll try not to be,” I replied.

“Yeah, Alex, you better not keep her locked up in that shitty ass desert. Bring her down more often.”

“I’ll see what I can do,” he replied, taking his sister in his arms and squeezing her tight. He took Abel from his mom and kissed his cheek. “See you later, little man.”

“Bye, Nino,” he replied. He waved to me.

Imelda took Alex in her arms, squeezing tight and not wanting to let go. I thought I saw a tear fall from her eyes. “I’m so glad to see you happy. Don’t be a stranger.”

“I won’t, Mama. I love you.” He kissed her cheek then pulled away, handing Abel back to her.

I waved at everyone as Alex opened my door, and I climbed into the truck. He went around to his side and hopped in, starting up the loud roar of the engine and pulling off. We sat quiet until we reached the freeway entrance and Alex finally broke our silence.

“So, you were thrust into the lion’s den. How was it?”

“I had a good time,” I replied, inching a smile across my face.

“You sure? You don’t look like you did.”

“I’m fine. I had a great time. Your family is great.”

He still didn’t look convinced. “I’m not dumb or blind, Cassie. What happened? Why are you so quiet?”

I sighed. He wasn’t going to let up on this. “It’s just something running through my mind. Something Adriana told me.”

“What did she tell you?” he asked, his voice low and gruff.

“Nothing bad, but it got to me thinking.” I looked over at him to find his stoic face, awaiting the rest of whatever I was about to tell him. “She was just telling me how much you mean to your family. How much everyone looks up to you. I don’t want to be the reason your family looks at you differently.”

“Listen to me. I’m a grown fucking man. I make my own decisions, and I live with the rewards or the consequences. If my family were to change how they view me that would fall on me and them, not you. You understand that?”

I nodded my head. He seemed to be growing more agitated by the second.

“I made the choice to start sleeping with one of my students. I didn’t know I’d fall in love with her, but I have, and right or wrong, I’m glad it happened, and I wouldn’t change it for anything. So whatever happens, happens. If they want to be ashamed or disappointed in me, fine. If they want to continue idolizing me, fine. The fact of the matter is that you are what fucking matters to me. How you see me matters, and your approval is all I’m looking for.”

My heart swelled as butterflies flew widely inside of me. Alex had just admitted to loving me, something I had no idea was coming.

“Alex, you just said you love me.”

“I did. And I mean it.” He placed his hand on my thigh. “You have no fucking clue what you’ve done to me, Blondie. I’m ready to be publicly shamed if it means I get to have you with me. I’ll walk through fucking fire if I have to.”

I unbuckled my seat belt and scooted over to the middle seat, directly next to him. I placed my head down on his shoulder and took his hand, kissing the top of it repeatedly.

“I love you too, Alex.”

The music collection on his phone was playing through the speakers again, and as luck would have it, Shameless by Garth Brooks played on the radio.

“You listen to country?” I asked, lifting my head, a little surprised by it.

“A little bit, as long as it’s not about losing my dog or my truck,” he responded, before singing along to the song.

I laughed at the stereotype, then rested my head on his shoulder again, singing along with him as he barreled down the freeway, taking us back to our other, less enjoyable world. 

Alex

Tuesday morning came much too quickly.

My lonely bed had me craving the warmth of Cassie’s body snuggled next to mine. I fucking hated putting her into that taxi last night, sending her back to her own personal hell. Thankfully, she had Dalton in her corner, and I was slowly but surely seeing him for the loyal friend that she needed. My guard was always up though. You just never could be completely sure of everyone’s sincerity.

Ruiz was another story. I couldn’t stand the thought of her alone with Cassie. Just thinking about it was like being punched repeatedly in the face. It was painful, and the more I thought about it, the more defensive I became. The thought to have one of them removed came to mind, but like the fight with Allen and his roommate a few weeks prior, things like that got investigated and sifted through with a fine tooth comb. Surely something would come up that would spill everything, so it was best to just leave things as they were and hope for the best.

Riley was already up and in the kitchen when I walked out. He stood leaning against the island with a mug of coffee in his hand, reading the newspaper again. He looked up when he saw me.

“So, how was it?”

I nodded my head, still feeling a bit empty at the fact that I was sucked in and standing firm in my reality once again. Not having her near me was brutal, and the day before when she was dreading the return, and I was trying to make light of it, it didn’t dawn on me that it would gut me this way.

“I’ll see you later, man. I have to get shit set up and ready for class today,” I said, not bothering to grab anything before I walked out the door.

Pulling into the parking lot, I spotted Castillo getting out of her Jeep. The sight of her disgusted me. I’d let shit get much too far, and as far as I was concerned, I needed my mind bleached and scrubbed to remove the guilt-ridden memory of it all. I parked and rushed over to her before she could get inside and around people.

“Hey, Alex. Long time no see. How was your weekend?” She was acting so casual, like the desperate lie she’d told had never come out of her mouth.

I stepped closer, glowering at her. “My weekend was just fine. How was yours? And was that amazing fuck we had before the weekend everything you imagined?”

Her eyes shot open; no amount of words could have expressed the shock permeating her face.

“I didn’t—“

“Save the bullshit, Leti. I let you put that filthy fucking mouth of yours on my dick, and I regret the hell out of it. I should have never fallen for your shit, and I want to kick my own ass for letting it happen.”

 My look grew more sinister as my body temperature rose and my jaw clenched. “Let me make myself ab-so-fucking-lute-ly clear. Every time I’ve been with you has been a colossal mistake. I’ll be the first to admit that some people need to learn the hard way, and I’m one of those people. But I’ll be damned if I let you tell blatant lies about me and get away with it.”

I leaned closer, our faces nearly touching one another. “Take this as your one and only fucking warning. I’ll keep my dick out of your mouth, and you keep my name out of it as well. You understand me?”

Before she could fix her mouth to answer, I turned and marched away. Pleasurable memories of the beach came back, pissing me off even further now that I was stuck in this hellhole of a desert with Cassie so close, yet so far away.

I had spent the early part of the morning inputting test scores from the last test taken before I took off for the long weekend. Cassie was the top scorer again, a ninety-eight percent this time, putting her in the lead for the challenge. I had to figure out a way to get some time off if she were to win. I needed to spend another free flowing weekend with her, away from the constant bullshit that this place was stuffed with.