She noticed that Professor Singer’s left hand was suddenly hidden from view. She couldn’t bring herself to meet Gabriel’s eyes. But that didn’t stop Professor Singer from noticing Julia. Their eyes met just as Gabriel appeared to push her hand away under the table. Embarrassed, Julia turned to Paul, while Singer wore a look of inquisitive amusement that slowly morphed into an unblinking, fascinated stare.
Eager to escape the sordid spectacle she thought she’d witnessed, Julia made a feeble excuse to Paul about not feeling well and left the table. She climbed the staircase to the second floor and quickly located the restroom.
Examining her features in the mirror, she tried to process what he’d told her. Her thoughts were a sordid jumble of words and dark images, while her heart bled.
Why would anyone want to be hit? Gabriel and Ann…pain…control…
Ann’s fingers in Gabriel’s lap…Ann hitting Gabriel…Gabriel hitting Ann.
Julia found herself leaning against the counter as she fought a wave of nausea. She wasn’t sure how long she stood there, eyes closed, before someone pushed through the door.
“Hello there.” Professor Singer smiled widely, showing rows of shiny teeth.
Julia marveled at how the light glinting off the professor’s glasses tricked the brain into thinking that her green eyes were glowing red.
“I’m Professor Singer. It’s a pleasure to meet you.” She extended her hand, and Julia took it reluctantly, mumbling a response.
The professor’s hand was cold but far from lifeless. She gripped Julia firmly and for far too long. When she released her, she trailed a finger down Julia’s lifeline as if she were intentionally measuring her. The act made Julia shiver.
Ann cocked her head to one side and narrowed her eyes. “I thought you were expecting me. Do I make you nervous?”
Julia frowned. “No, I came up here to wash my hands. I think I’m getting the flu.”
“That’s a pity.” The professor smiled more widely and took a step closer.
“You seem healthy enough. You have lovely skin.”
“Thank you.” Julia’s eyes darted toward the door, eager to make an escape.
“Not at all. Not at all. Are you wearing lipstick, or is that the natural shade of your lips?” She leaned forward at the waist and peered far too closely at Julia’s ripe, open mouth, their faces mere inches from one another.
Julia took a step backward. “Um, it’s my natural color.”
Ann took another step forward. “Extraordinary. You know, of course, that the natural shade of the lip is repeated across a woman’s body in more intimate places. Your color is so pleasing on your mouth. I’m sure it’s breathtaking elsewhere.”
Julia’s jaw dropped open.
“Look at yourself in the mirror. How could I not have noticed you downstairs? And fortunately, you noticed me too.” Ann took another step forward and dropped her voice. “Do you like to watch?” she whispered.
“Did you like watching what I was doing to him under the table?”
Julia reddened. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Flesh changes color, you know, in response to increased blood flow.
Like now.” She smiled, exposing her teeth. “I’ve embarrassed or aroused you, so your cheeks have grown flushed and so have your lips. But you’re flushed elsewhere, aren’t you?” She dropped her voice still further. “And lower down, I’m sure you’re begging to be stroked and teased…” She licked her lips and smiled. “My little pink pearl. I think you want me to tease you.
You’d make such a pretty pet.”
Julia stared defiantly. “I’m not interested in being anyone’s pet.”
That made Professor Singer back up. Julia’s sudden show of spirit was wholly unexpected.
“I’m a human being, not an animal. Leave me alone.” Julia did not know where in holy hell she found the nerve to dispute with Professor Singer, but she found it.
Ann laughed. “Human beings are animals, my dear. We share the same physiology, the same reactions to stimuli, the same needs for food, drink, and sex. Some of us are just more intelligent.”
Julia glared down at her. “I’m intelligent enough to know what an animal is. And I am not interested in being fucked like one. Excuse me.”
She sidestepped the professor quickly, heading for the door.
“If you change your mind, come and find me,” Ann purred.
“Not a chance in hell,” spat Julia. She fled, inhaling and exhaling very quickly as she began to jog down the hall.
A quick pair of footsteps followed close behind. She let out a shriek as someone pulled her into a darkened room, closing and locking the door behind them. She pushed against a hard chest roughly before someone grabbed her wrists.
“Julianne.”
It was too dark to see his face, but she recognized his voice and the strange sensation that hummed up and down her arms in reaction to his touch. She stopped struggling.
“Please turn on the light. I–I’m claustrophobic.” Her voice sounded to Gabriel’s ears like that of a frightened child.
He released her and pulled out his iPhone, holding it up like a lamp.
“Is this better?” Gabriel suppressed the urge to ask what light had to do with claustrophobia as he wrapped an arm around her trembling shoulders and pressed his lips to her forehead. “Julianne?”
She took a moment to examine their surroundings and realized that they were in a broom closet.
“Julianne?” he repeated, trying to capture her attention. “I saw Ann follow you. Are you all right?”
“No.”
“What did she do?”
“She said I’d make a good pet,” Julia whispered, her eyes downcast.
Gabriel scowled darkly. “Did she touch you?”
She closed her eyes and wiped a few beads of sweat from her forehead.
“Just my hand.”
He quickly dimmed the light on his phone so that they were only partially illuminated, for he was worried that Ann might see the light under the door.
“This is what I was afraid might happen. Why didn’t you do as I asked?”
“I told you, I didn’t get your text until it was too late. I didn’t expect to be hit on at a faculty dinner, by a professor who wasn’t you.”
Gabriel growled. “She was watching you across the table and was probably excited by your shyness, not to mention your beauty. Having you in the same room as her is the equivalent of dangling a lamb in front of a wolf.” He shook his head and cursed. “I tried to keep you away from her.”
Julia searched his eyes. “You weren’t keeping me away because you’re jealous?”
Gabriel let out a sharp exhalation. “Of course I’m jealous. Jealousy is a new emotion for me, Julianne. I’m not practiced in the art of dealing with it. But I would have begged Paul to take you to dinner somewhere, anywhere, just to keep you away from her.”
“Were you involved with Professor Singer?”
His expression darkened, and he pressed his lips into a thin line. “This is not the place to discuss that.”
Julia shook her head as her nausea returned. She’d hoped that Paul was mistaken. But Gabriel’s reaction told her otherwise.
“How could you?”
“You’re shaking. Are you going to be sick?”
“Why won’t you answer my question?”
Gabriel spoke through his teeth. “Julianne, your comfort and well-being is my only concern at this moment. I won’t answer any questions until I am satisfied that you are all right. Although if you throw up, I promise to hold your hair.” He smirked slightly.
“I’m not going to throw up,” she murmured. “Unfortunately, she’s not the first woman to come on to me. I’m more upset about the fact that you’re hiding something.”
Gabriel’s eyebrows furrowed at her admission, but he quickly pushed his concern aside. “Julianne, trust me when I tell you that you do not want to know more about her. Your mind should remain unpolluted.”
“But it’s okay for her to molest you under the table? That’s how she noticed me, Gabriel. She caught me staring.”
A muscle jumped in his jaw, and Julia saw sparks in his eyes.
“She’s goading me. And for obvious reasons, I can’t react and cause a scene. I was hoping she’d ignore you and focus all of her twisted attention on me. Clearly, I was wrong.”
“Why did I have to find out from Paul that you were involved with her?”
“Paul said that?”
She nodded.
Gabriel swore an oath and began rubbing his eyes forcefully, as if he were blotting out a repulsive image. “I didn’t expect her to attend my lecture. We don’t share the same values or research interests. Today is the first time I’ve seen her in months. She’s part of my past — a past I will not repeat. Not if I live forever.”
“Paul said she likes pain. Were you — violent together?”
He clenched his fists at his sides, the tendons in his arms humming in contraction.
“Yes. I’d like to tell you that she was the wicked temptress and I was lured into an entanglement with her, but that isn’t what happened. Nevertheless, I am not going to explain the dark contours of her world to you. Not even a single thought of yours belongs there. But I’ll tell you that during one of my — encounters with her, she did something that caused me to lose my temper. And I gave her a taste of her own medicine. That act alone terminated our interactions, and I was immediately flung out of her house.”
“She hit you?”
“More than once,” rasped Gabriel grimly. “That was the point.”
“Gabriel.” His name came out as something akin to a sob, and his heart was instantly pierced. “How could you? How could you let her touch you, let alone hurt you?”
He encircled her with his arms and squeezed her tightly. “Julianne, you do not want to hear this. Please forget what Paul said. Forget all about her.”
“I can’t. I can’t forget what you said in your lecture this afternoon. Your description of the act of making love was really beautiful, but that’s not what you want. Or maybe you think it’s impossible for lovers to be like that.”
Gabriel’s eyes bored into hers. “Of course it’s what I want. Of course I think it’s possible. I’ve just never experienced it.” He cleared his throat.
“You aren’t the only virgin in this relationship.”
She looked at him in surprise. “Then why would you want someone to hurt you? Haven’t you been hurt enough?”
His face wore a pained expression.
“Gabriel, your life is like a series of locked, secret rooms. I have no idea what lurks behind those doors. And you won’t tell me. I have to find out about your ex-girlfriend from your research assistant!”
“She was never my girlfriend. And I asked you about Simon, and you wouldn’t tell me anything. So far we are even.”
Julia winced.
“I told you about my mother.”
Gabriel sighed. “Yes, you did. And hearing what happened to you in St. Louis hurt me far more than I can say. More than Ann and her parlor tricks.” He shook his head. “You’re right. I should have told you about her.”
He shifted his weight from one foot to the other, and Julia heard his fists slide into the pockets of his trousers. “I thought that when I told you, you’d be so repulsed that you’d run. You’d realize I truly am a devil.”
“You’re no devil. You’re a fallen angel who still has goodness left in him. A fallen angel who aspires to make love with a woman and treat her with tenderness,” whispered Julia. She closed her eyes. “Hearing about Professor Singer from you would have been far better than finding out like this. Or having it flaunted in front of me when you wouldn’t even look in my direction.”
“I wear tremendous shame, Julianne, which is something you know precious little about.”
“You aren’t the only sinner in this closet, Gabriel.” She opened her eyes and inhaled slowly. “Which is why I can’t hold your past sins against you. Do you still want her?”
“Of course not!” His demeanor immediately shifted to outrage. “We did not have a relationship, Julianne — we had a couple of encounters. It was over a year ago, and I haven’t been involved with her since.” He sighed deeply. “If you insist, I’ll tell you more, but I can’t do it now. Can you give me until after dinner to explain? Please?”
She chewed her lip pensively.
Gabriel gently pressed his mouth to hers, tugging her lip free with his own and slowly releasing her. “Please don’t hurt yourself. It upsets me.”
“I could say the same to you.”
His shoulders slumped forward, and he groaned a little.
“I will give you until after dinner only if you promise not to let her touch you.”
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