“I’m sorry.” I was still whispering and I was sorry. Truly. That more than sucked. I just didn’t know what more than sucked was.

“I am too. I was then and I still am. It sucks to lose your dream. But then I met Vi and it hit me I might have a shot at the other part, havin’ the woman I want sleepin’ in bed beside me and I lost that too. The shit part of that was, I knew I’d lose even when I took my shot but I did it anyway because the promise of her was so fuckin’ sweet I couldn’t stop myself. So I didn’t. I went in, eyes open, playin’ games for her heart. And I lost. Now she’s married to another man and givin’ him babies. And that stung.”

I knew it did. I knew. Because I only knew that little bit and the way he told it, it stung me too.

“Mike,” I said softly.

“So, just weeks ago, there I was again after going to a friend’s funeral, I’m suddenly with a woman whose promise is so fuckin’ sweet, she makes Vi, who’s beautiful, funny and kind, seem like sloppy seconds. But I didn’t forget goin’ through what I went through, not for one fuckin’ second. I looked for every reason I could to prove she wasn’t what she consistently seemed to be. I looked for any reason I could find to set her away from me. And I did a bang up job and found ‘em. They just were shit. I didn’t know it but they were. And to protect myself, I acted selfishly, threw them in her face, wounded her and forced her to run away from me.”

I closed my eyes.

“Look at me, Dusty,” he ordered.

I opened my eyes.

“For weeks, every day, ten times a day, I run through the shit I said to you and every day, ten times a day, your words come back to me and I regret that whole scene. I do not regret marrying Audrey because she gave me No and Reesee. I do not regret gettin’ to know Vi because she’s a good woman, she’s still in my life and I like her there. I look back at my life and I don’t regret anything I’ve done except that Saturday afternoon and what I did to you.”

That was huge. Huge. Overwhelming.

All of it was overwhelming.

“I don’t know what to say,” I whispered.

“The bad news for you, there’s nothing for you to say. You’re right, I’m here to right wrongs and I’m gonna do it, Angel. You told me I’d had my last chance but I don’t accept that and I won’t. If you tell me now that my explanation is not enough and you want me gone, I’m not goin’. I’m not giving up. I got one part of my life’s dream still open to me, every sign she gives me is screaming that she’s standing in my arms right now and I’m not gonna be ninety years old, looking back on my life and regretting that I gave up that dream.”

It was then I realized I was breathing heavily.

And through that, I forced out, “Mike, you don’t want kids. I do. Not a little. A whole lot. I’m not going to –”

He cut me off with, “How many?”

I blinked and asked, “What?”

“How many kids do you want?”

“Perfect world, two. But I’d take one.”

“This works out, we’d make beautiful babies.”

It was then I realized I wasn’t breathing at all.

With effort, I forced out, “Are you serious?”

“Are you serious that you want kids?” he shot back.

I nodded.

“Then yes.”

“But how can you change your mind just like that?” I asked.

“Honey, you ran away from me nearly three weeks ago. It was not ‘just like that’. Dreams don’t happen and that’s it. You have to feed them and keep them alive. And if kids feed you, it would far from suck to give you that. Do I want to be a new Dad in my forties? Fuck no. If I get my dream, am I willing to feed it what it needs? Absolutely.”

I didn’t know what to do with this. I couldn’t even process it.

“But you don’t want to be a new Dad in your forties,” I reminded him of something he just then told me.

His arm got tighter, he pushed me deeper into the wall and his voice got lower when he said, “This is the deal, Angel. You…ran…away from me. And I tasted regret for the first time in my life. And that didn’t sting, it fuckin’ killed. So you need to know this. You want kids, I’ll give them to you and, trust me, sweetheart, I’ll be happy. I like kids and, like I said, you and me’ll make beautiful ones. Now, I can’t move until Reesee is in college. After that, you want Texas, I’ll be there. Before that, we’ll find some way to deal.”

“Mike,” I whispered, “we’ve known each other in real-life terms for a day.”

“No, Dusty. I’ve loved you since you were twelve and I’ve read your diaries, you can’t deny you felt the same fuckin’ thing. You weren’t old enough then for my thoughts to go there but we both know that bond started then and we both know just how it changed when it snapped tight in that hotel room. I’m not saying we drop to the floor right now and start tryin’ for a baby and I’m not askin’ you to marry me. I am sayin’ that I care about you, I do it deeply and I have for a really fuckin’ long time. We’re gonna explore this and I hope to God the feelin’ I got is not wrong because I tried time and again to make it feel wrong but all it ever felt was right.”

I stared into his dark brown eyes that, throughout this, never left mine.

Then I whispered, “I can’t go through that again, what you did to me.”

“I won’t make you.”

“Mike –”

His head dropped so his lips were nearly on mine and his eyes were so close they were all I could see.

“I won’t make you.”

God, his words were a rumbly growl I felt against my skin where, I swear, it felt like they were seeping in, entering my bloodstream, warm and sweet.

I heard my cell ring and my eyes went from Mike’s to his shoulder since he was so close I couldn’t see around him.

“Leave it,” he ordered and I looked back up at him.

“I can’t,” I said softly. “Rhonda isn’t good. The boys are out at a movie with her tonight and if –”

He let me go but immediately grabbed my hand and walked me to the coffee table where my phone was.

We both looked down at the display.

“Not the boys,” Mike stated on a mutter but I saw who was on the display. My chest seized, my mind went blank with fury and even with my hand still held in Mike’s, I bent, snatched it up and used my thumb to take the call.

Then I put it to my ear.

“You’re on drugs having the gall to call me,” I said to my bitchface sister and felt Mike’s hand tighten in mine even as his body drew nearer.

“Nice,” she hissed.

“Unless you’re calling to apologize for what you’ve been doing to Rhonda and how you’ve flipped out Fin, I have not one thing to say to you,” I announced.

“Oh yes you do. I own a quarter of that farm and –” she started.

“I’m buying you out,” I declared and Mike got even closer.

“Do you think I’d let you buy me out?” Debbie hooted in my ear.

“I do,” I fired back. “Because if you don’t, I’m hunting your bitch ass down, tying you to a chair and torturing you until you sign your quarter of the farm to me.”

I got that out then was not able to say another word or hear my sister’s reply because the phone suddenly wasn’t in my hand, it was in Mike’s. Then he was not holding my other hand, he had my phone to his ear and he’d walked three steps away.

“Debbie, you got Mike,” I watched him say into the phone, he paused then my mouth dropped right open when he said, “Shut your mouth and listen to me. Dusty just got home, I’m not fully briefed on the shit that’s goin’ down and right now, you are on a call freeze. You do not call Dusty, Fin, Kirb and definitely not Rhonda. Not for two weeks. You do, you answer to me. You get me?” Pause then, “I’m a cop, cops know cops and the cops we know, know other cops. In your business, you know that. You also know you don’t piss off a cop.” Another pause while I stared at him with a still opened mouth and big eyes and then he kept going, “No, that’s not a threat. Do not dick with me, do not dick with Dusty and absolutely do not dick with Rhonda, Fin and Kirby. Your reign of terror is over, woman. It ended thirty seconds ago. I suggest you get used to that starting now.”

Then he took my phone from his ear and touched the screen with his thumb.

“I…I…” I stammered but got no further.

Mike’s neck was bent, eyes to my phone, his thumb was moving on the screen and he muttered distractedly, “Please tell me you got Fin on…” he trailed off, his thumb hit something and he put the phone to his ear. He waited five seconds while I watched then he stated, “Finley? Mike Haines. Listen and don’t talk. You, your brother or your mother are gonna get phone calls from your Aunt Debbie imminently. Confiscate all phones, turn them off and do not let them have them back until you get the all-clear from me or your Aunt Dusty. And even after tonight, do not answer a call if the call is coming from Debbie. Instruct your brother and mother to do the same. Your Aunt Dusty or I’ll explain later. Got me?” He paused, “Do it now.” He paused again and this went on longer. Then he asked, “Got them? Good. Enjoy the movie.”

Then he hit the screen with his thumb and looked at me.

I burst out laughing and all that was so freaking good I did this a long time.

When this died down to chuckles I saw Mike standing where he was, watching me. He wasn’t smiling. He was just watching me and doing it intently.

“That was awesome,” I told him, each word as heartfelt as I felt them which was to say a whole lot.

Mike didn’t respond to my comment.

Instead he rocked my world.

“My daughter’s birthday party is Saturday. I want you there. So as not to make a special day for her about her meeting her father’s new woman, I want you out to dinner with me and my kids tomorrow night. Neutral turf so they don’t feel invaded and you feel safe. And if you want to impress her, I’ll give you her wish list. You buy anything on that, she’ll love you for a teenage eternity which, translated, means at least an hour.”

I stared at him.

I didn’t know how long he’d been divorced but it had clearly been a while. I did know he’d had lovers since and not a few. He’d not introduced his kids to one of his other women and if what he told me was true, that included the Vi he was talking about.

But it didn’t include me.

After a clear nightmare with his wife, to protect himself he started dicking around and unfortunately when he did that he dicked around with me.

Obviously, he was done with that. Not kind of done as in not really committed to being done. One thing was crystal clear about Mike Haines. He loved his kids, looked after them and protected them. There was no way in hell he’d introduce them to a woman he wasn’t serious about with that serious being serious.

“You need to be ready at six,” he carried on. “We’ll come by here and pick you up.”

I continued to stare at him but I didn’t speak.

So he prompted, “Dusty, did you hear me?”

I nodded.

“Are you gonna be ready at six?”

I nodded.

He held my eyes.

Then, his voice softer and less bossy, he asked, “Do you forgive me?”

I licked my lips.

Then I pressed them together.

Then I did what I’d always done. I made a decision on the fly based entirely on feeling and went with it.

Which meant I nodded.

I watched his tall, lean body relax and something about seeing it do that, a man like Mike exposing that to me meant the world to me. Because his being tense waiting for my forgiveness and finally getting it meant the world to him.

“Right, honey,” he said gently, “then come here and kiss me.”

God, I’d missed that. I’d had it a day and I’d missed it like I’d had it for decades and lost it for eternity.

So I walked the three feet to him, right into his arms and I tilted my head back. Going up on my toes to kiss him, I didn’t get the chance.

That’s because, his arms closing around me hard, his mouth slamming down on mine, Mike kissed me.

And he did it thoroughly.

My arms were tight around his neck and my entire body was alive when his lips slid along my cheek to my ear and he whispered, “You’ve made me a happy man, honey.”

I closed my eyes and shoved my face in his neck.

“You forget how to talk?” he teased and I grinned.

“No,” I whispered. “But this is a lot.”

“It is,” his arms gave me a squeeze, “you’ll get used to it.”

God, I hoped so. I really, really hoped so. Because I hadn’t lied. If he hurt me again, I wouldn’t survive it. All the men before (not that there was a million of them but still) that I lost didn’t hurt as much as losing him did.