"So what's the magic age for you?" Gage asked. "You'd better let Grace know so she has an idea how long she has to wait."

"That's not funny," Carey said.

"It wasn't meant to be. You're telling her you're not interested and then you freak out when she goes on a date. You're sending mixed messages, Carey."

"I didn't freak out," Carey said. "I'm her mentor, her friend. I'm allowed to worry about her."

"Keep telling yourself that," Gage said.


TWELVE MONTHS


Grace could not have been more excited. Spring break brought not only a week off from school but a promise from Carey that she could come visit since Sapling Hill was between sessions. Everything was packed and she was now waiting on the porch for the truck that would come, and more importantly, the woman driving it. "Come on, Carey, hurry up," she muttered, growing more anxious by the minute.

The second she saw the blue truck turn the comer she was on her feet and dragging her suitcase down the steps. "I thought you'd never get here," she said as Carey pulled the truck to a stop.

"Hello to you too." Carey unbuckled her seat belt and stepped out. "I told you I was coming," she said as she walked around the front of the truck. "You just have no patience."

"Hi," Grace said, a shy smile coming to her lips. "Can I get a hug?" At Carey's hesitation she added, "Friends hug, you know."

"I know," Carey said. "All right, a quick one and then let's go."

Grace paid no attention to anything said after she was given the go-ahead, wrapping her arms around Carey's waist and sighing happily.

"I've missed you so much," she said against the thick winter jacket.

"Going through another growth spurt?" Carey said, giving Grace a quick squeeze, then backing up and reaching for the suitcase.

"I think so," Grace said. Did you miss me too? "Either that or my jeans are getting shorter." She picked up her backpack and hoisted it into the bed of the truck, letting it fall with a loud thump.

"Don't dent my truck," Carey said, opening the passenger door and stashing the suitcase behind the seat.

Grace found her to be too close to resist and moved in for another hug. "I really missed you."

"I missed you too," Carey said, gently but firmly moving Grace back after a few seconds so she could get out from between the truck and the passenger door. "And that's enough hugs right now."

Grace looked down. "I'm sorry." Gentle fingers lifted her chin, bringing her face to face with soft brown eyes.

"I'm sorry too," Carey said. "I don't want to hurt you, but I don't want to feel uncomfortable either."

"I'll be good, I promise," Grace said. She forced a smile to her face.

"Well, okay, let's go."

"My God, Grace," Carey said as she hefted the backpack. "What is in this?"

"Books," the teen said. "Economics, Accounting, both computer courses and my English Compo You don't think the professors would give us a week off without piling on the homework, do you?"

"Ugh," Carey said. "Just don't ask me to help you with it. It's all over my head." She carried the backpack in and set it next to the closet. "Are you hungry?"

"Starved."

"I'll get dinner started while you get settled," Carey said, kicking off her sneakers.

"Want help?"

"I'll get it," Carey said. "You relax."

"Carey?"

"Hmm?"

"You wouldn't be in the mood for some of that great coffee you make so well, would you?" Grace asked, batting her eyes.

"You think that's going to convince me?" Carey leaned against the archway to the kitchen and crossed her arms.

Grace smiled. "I'll...clean the oven."

Carey shook her head. "It's self-cleaning. Try again."

"Um…I'll mop the kitchen floor?"

"Already mopped."

A devilish thought popped into the teen's head. "I'll be your slave for life." The words had the desired effect, wiping the smile from Carey's face.

"I was thinking more along the lines of doing the dishes," Carey said, turning away from Grace and going into the kitchen. "Behave."

"Mmm," Grace said as she took a sip. "I've missed your coffee."

Carey smiled. "Did you?"

"The closest I've found is a blend at the Coffee Bean, but it's almost two dollars a cup," Grace said. "Oh this is good."

"Two dollars? You spend two dollars on a cup of coffee?"

Grace took another swallow before answering. "It's one of my few extras," she said. "Only once or twice a week."

"I'll have to send you home with some," Carey said. "Do you have a coffeemaker?"

Grace nodded. "Dad sent me one. I don't have that many outlets so if I want to make coffee I have to unplug the laptop. Mrs. Somers doesn't allow extension cords or power strips."

"Are you ready for another cup?"

"I'll get it," Grace said, rising to her feet and reaching for Carey's mug. "Cream, no sugar, right?"

"Right, thanks."

"My pleasure," Grace said as she headed for the kitchen. Her back to Carey, she smiled as she filled the two mugs, taking enjoyment from being able to do even the littlest thing for the woman she cared about so deeply. "It must be nice to have a break from work," she said.

"It is," Carey said. "Five months with only every other Sunday off is hard. We deserve this month off, even if half of it is spent doing paperwork and getting ready for the next session."

"Was the last group better or worse than mine?" Grace asked, smiling at all the papers stuck to the refrigerator with ICC magnets.

"A slightly different mix, but about the same," Carey said. "The usual characters, the usual situations."

"I got a letter from Jan Bowen," Grace said as she returned to the living room. "She's working at the mall in Mohawk. Management trainee."

"Good for her," Carey said as she took her mug. "How are things going for you at the diner?"

"It's okay," Grace said. "I hate being on my feet so long and having to bus the tables, but the tips are decent and dinner is free." She sat down on the couch and tucked her left leg beneath her. "The customers can really suck sometimes, though."

"Decided to let your hair grow out?"

"Too busy to get it cut," Grace said. "Do you like it?"

"As long as it's all one color," Carey said.

"I don't do that anymore," Grace said. "But did you like it shorter?"

Carey smiled. "Grace, what I like or don't like doesn't matter. It's your hair. Wear it the way you want to."

"But—“

"Shorter," Carey said.

Grace smiled. "You like short hair'?"

Carey nodded. "I'm partial to short hair," she admitted.

"Did Eve have short hair?"

Carey looked at her for moment before answering. "Yes. At least she did then. I wouldn't know now."

"Were the two of you together long?"

Carey took a deep breath, then let it out. "You won't be happy until I tell you, will you?" Grace shook her head. "All right. Eve and I met when we were both in the Coast Guard. We were together for almost two years before we broke up."

"When she called that day," Grace said. "You said something to her about not being the one who came home pregnant."

"She had a boyfriend on the side," Carey said. "I don't tolerate cheating, especially like that."

"Like that?"

"With a man," Carey said. "Without protection. I thought we were a monogamous couple." She clenched her jaw, then slowly relaxed. "I had no idea. The whole thing still disgusts me."

Grace moved from the couch to the comer of the coffee table, her knees inches from the footrest. "I would never do that to you," she said.

Carey gave her a small smile. "We're not a couple," she reminded gently. "I'm sure someone will come along to turn your eye."

"They haven't yet," Grace said. "And it's not like I haven't been offered." She touched Carey's sock. "I know who I want."

"Grace..."

"I know how you feel," she said, patting Carey's foot, then sitting back. "I'm not pushing. I just want you to know I'm not off getting laid by every girl in school."

"I never thought that," Carey said. "But I don't want you giving up a chance at true happiness waiting for me."

"It doesn't make sense to get involved with someone my age," Grace said. "I know these women. One week they're madly in love, the next week they're living together and six months down the road they break up. I don't want that." She gave Carey a sly smile. "I bet they don't use dental dams either." Carey smiled and looked away. "What?" Grace asked, smiling at the older woman's blush. "Oh, please tell me."

"I shouldn't," Carey said.

Grace scooted closer. "Come on, I'm sure I've heard worse."

"No. I don't want to give you any ideas."

"Michelle says using a dental dam is like trying to lick an ice cream


through plastic wrap," Grace said. "No point if you can't taste it."

Carey looked at her in surprise. "What are they teaching you at that school?"

"Michelle is a friend that I met through the gay and lesbian student union," Grace said. "I know lots of great lesbian jokes."

"Your friend has a point," Carey said.

"I wouldn't know," Grace lamented with an exaggerated sigh.

"Behave," Carey said.

"You gonna tell me what you were thinking?" Grace asked. "It had to be good the way you turned red."

"It was just a joke I heard once," Carey said. "I can't tell you."

"Oh you have to," Grace pleaded.

Carey covered her face with her hands. "All right, why do lesbians like whales so much?"

"Why?"

"Because they have a really long tongue and an air hole on the top of their heads."

Grace started laughing. "That's bad."

"I told you so," Carey said, peeking through her fingers, then uncovering her face.

"Okay," Grace said, sitting up. "What's this?" She stuck her tongue out.

"What?"

"A lesbian with a hard-on."

Carey chuckled and slowly shook her head. "We need to change the subject."

Grace frowned. "Okay."

"I'm going to get dinner started," Carey said, standing up and walking toward the kitchen. As she did, she stopped behind the couch and leaned over. "As for your joke, if that was the case your tongue would never be in your mouth."

"Hey," Grace said, trying to sound offended. "Not all the time."

"Oh right," Carey said, continuing into the kitchen. "You do sleep from time to time."

"I've been good," Grace protested. "I haven't tried to get a hug from you in at least an hour."

"I should stop them," Carey said. "It's almost the equivalent to you being able to cop a feel."

"Don't, please," Grace said, turning around and kneeling up on the cushion to look at her. "It's all I can get. Don't take it away."

"I feel like I'm leading you on," Carey said. "It's not fair to you, Grace."

"So what?" Grace asked, leaving the couch to walk over to Carey's side.

"So I don't want to see you hurt by this," Carey said.

"And you don't think it'll hurt for you to not give me a hug anymore?" She reached for Carey's arm, then pulled back.

"Perhaps it'll hurt less in the long run," Carey said. "Grace, six months ago you were under my care. It makes me very uncomfortable to hug you and know you're thinking about me as a potential lover and not just a friend."

It hurt to hear those words and Grace turned away, knowing that was exactly what she was doing with her "friendly" hugs. "I have homework to do," she said.

"Wait," Carey said. Grace felt the touch of the older woman's hands on her shoulders. "I'm not trying to upset you."

"I know," Grace said. "And you're right...about the hugs. It's just that..." She closed her eyes and let her head fall forward. "A hug is the only way I get to touch you, and sometimes it's so hard not to." She reached up and touched Carey's hand for emphasis. "It's not like you. You get to touch me any time you want to."

"I'm sorry," Carey said, pulling her hands back. “I don't even notice when I do it."

"I don't mind," Grace said unnecessarily, turning to see Carey smiling at her quick response. "It makes me feel special. I just wish I could do it sometimes."

"Let's make a compromise," Carey said. "Friendly touches once in a while, ease up on the hugs, all right?"

Grace smiled happily. "Yes." Testing her new liberty, she reached out and briefly touched Carey's hand. "See? I can be good."