"You can't make me listen."

Kay shook her head. "No, I really can't. But I think you know how much you need to, and part of you wants to believe I can do something... anything... to make things better."

"Why do you care?"

"Excuse me?" Kay repeated, wondering how she'd lost control of the conversation again. Her mental lips twitched. It reminded her very much of some discussions she and Brianna had shared - some of them about the woman now glaring at her like she was a two-headed gorgon.

"I said...."

"I heard you, Charisma. Why would you think I wouldn't care? Despite the fact that you and I started on the wrong foot because of who I am and who I've been in Brianna's life, I really don't get off on inflicting pain or watching people around me suffer if I can do something about it. And I care about you by extension because you're important to Brianna."

"So you're doing this for Brianna."

"I'm doing this for you," Kay replied with a hint of exasperation. "If it helps Brianna, that's a bonus I can live with."

"I really don't like you very much."

"I know. Jealousy's a hard thing to overcome."

"I'm not...."

"Yes, you are, Charisma. Complete honesty, remember? You don't just love her... you're *in love* with her, and it galls you that Brianna and I were lovers; it just incenses you to know that I have touched her in ecstasy, tasted her passion, heard her cry out her pleasure...."

"THAT'S ENOUGH!!!"

"Why?" Kay asked reasonably. "It's the truth, Charisma. You can't stand that I've had what you so desperately want. That red-hot burning you feel in your veins right now? That's pure, unadulterated jealousy."

Charisma scoffed, though her eyes told a different story as did her clenched fists. Kay wondered how much more she'd have to push before Charisma took a swing. "Why would I be jealous of you and Brianna as a couple? All I ever wanted for her was happiness."

"LIAR!" wanting to snort when Charisma's eyes widened. "You wanted her happiness WITH YOU."

Wide blue eyes narrowed until Charisma was glaring. "Excuse me?? Just because you couldn't make Brianna happy...."

"I did," Kay stated unequivocally. "We were happy; but neither of us was willing to live with your ghost in the middle of our relationship. However, this isn't about me making Brianna happy except as it infuriates you. Because it does, doesn't it? It's driving you crazy to stand there and pretend indifference to the fact that I've had the one thing in life you really want - the one you could have had if you hadn't denied the truth of your heart...."

Whatever else Kay was going to say was cut off by the stinging slap across her face that Charisma delivered with the flat of her palm.

"That's enough." Charisma's voice was pure ice now.

"That was your one free shot, Charisma. Do you feel better now?" Kay asked calmly as she wiped a drop of blood from the corner of her lip. "Hitting me doesn't change the fact that you are as in love with Brianna Walker as she is with you and always have been."

"That's enough."

"Nor does it change the fact that you are too much of a coward to do anything about it."

"That's. Enough." This time the sound was emitted through clenched teeth and was as sharp as glass. Kay was tempted to look for bleeding wounds, but she refused to give Charisma any quarter - not when she was this close to a breakthrough.

"How does it feel, Charisma? Knowing you could have everything you ever wanted - knowing you could be truly happy - and being unwilling to make it happen. You're a selfish woman, Charisma, and nothing but a coward. Personally, I think Brianna is better off without you in her life."

"THAT'S ENOUGH!!!"

Kay was ready when Charisma swung this time, catching her arm in the palm of her hand and using Charisma's own momentum to turn her until she was standing with her back to Kay's front.

"Let me go," Charisma growled, struggling to free herself from Kay's grasp.

"No." Kay shook her head firmly.

"I am a United States Senator! I demand you release me at once."

"You could get free if you really wanted me to let you go." Kay felt the fight flow out of Charisma's body, but she made no effort to pull away from Charisma and noticed Charisma was doing nothing to escape her clasp either. "You're a woman in pain, Charisma. There's no shame in needing someone... even if that person is someone you really don't want to need."

"I don't need you, Kay Williams," Charisma whispered. "And I can't need her."

Finally, Kay thought. Finally we're getting somewhere. "Why, Charisma? Why can't you need her?"

Kay felt Charisma slump a little further, and she tightened her grip to keep them from sinking to the snow-covered ground. The paths that had been shoveled already had a light dusting of new snow and she had no desire to try and melt it.

"Please let me go."

Kay relaxed her arms and Charisma stepped out of her embrace and wrapped her arms around herself. She kept her back to Kay, and Kay tried to respect that to a degree. It didn't mean she was going to stop pushing.

"Talk to me, Charisma. Why can't you need Brianna?"

Charisma snorted. "I know my family seems to think a lot of you, so you can't possibly be as stupid as you sound like right now. But just in case you need a refresher, let me spell it out for you, okay? I am a United States Senator, and because of that, people expect certain things from me. Like a husband and children - though in my case it will only be one child... singular. They expect...."

"Well, that's your first problem, Charisma - you probably need to come out of that ivory tower you're living in. Maybe you should stop trying to live to other peoples' expectations - none of your colleagues do, or are you really that naпve?? Stop," Kay commanded with an upraised hand when Charisma whirled around to respond to her. "You know the kind of bullshit that goes on in those 'hallowed halls'," her tone mocking and derisive. "It's good to have standards, Charisma. Just make sure they're your own and not everyone else's expectations."

"And what about my family?" facing away from Kay again.

Kay shrugged, even though Charisma couldn't see it. "What about them? C'mon, Charisma... do you really think they don't know... that they haven't known for years? They knew before you did... certainly long before you ever considered it to be more than a passing fancy. It's one reason they welcomed Brianna into the fold so easily - then they did it because they liked her for herself. Even Kent...."

Charisma whirled and raised clenched fists before slamming them to her sides. "Even Kent what??"

"Charisma, Kent is not a stupid man. If he doesn't already know, I'd be amazed. You weren't exactly subtle at Thanksgiving."

"We didn't DO anything at Thanksgiving."

"You didn't have to, Charisma. It's simply part and parcel of who you are together." Kay hesitated, then straightened. "You don't have to accept it, Charisma - you can spend the next twenty years in the same kind of denial and uber contentment that you've lived the last twenty years in. No one but me is going to call you on your behavior and I won't bring it up again. Because it's your choice and your life." She took a deep breath. "But you have a chance for real, genuine happiness - and more than just you would benefit if you choose correctly. You just have to be brave enough to love the one who holds your heart and always has." Kay walked towards Charisma until they were standing side by side, though they both kept their focus distant. "Question is - can you live with yourself if you choose to be happy instead of keeping a code that you don't even really believe in?"

Without another word, Kay walked off the playground and headed back towards the Taghertys. She stopped when she reached the tree where Hunter was waiting.

"Are you all right?" he asked. "I saw her swing, but you shook your head so I...."

"You did the right thing. I'm fine. But you may want to stay here and keep an eye on her... just in case. I'll send someone down to give you a break in a few minutes."

Hunter shook his head. "Just send some coffee. I'll be all right. It'll be like a stakeout." Kay smiled and nodded, and turned to walk away. Hunter clasped her hand. "Thanks, Kay. Thanks for caring enough to say something to her."

"I was the only one that could," she reminded him, then walked back to the warmth of the house.


Chapter LXXVII

"So what happened after Kay said her piece, Indi?" Esmeralda asked. Indi had requested to speak to her alone, and Esmeralda had to wonder what had caused her to make such an unusual demand. One of the things the other angels seemed to appreciate about Esmeralda's management style was her willingness to share information and let everyone see the big picture. It had made her one of the most successful guardians to date. So she was more than a little intrigued by Indigo's petition.

Indi shook her head and sighed. "I'm not... I mean... Charisma's acting weird."

Esmeralda blinked. "I'm going to guess that's not a good thing."

Indi shrugged. "You tell me. After Kay left the playground, Hunter kept an eye on Charisma until Forrest arrived. She was just sitting there... not moving - I'm still not sure what she was focused on. I'm not even sure she noticed her brothers until they actually made physical contact with her. Together they got Charisma wrapped in the blanket Okasa sent and got her back to the Tagherty homestead. The only people still there were Rocky, Okasa and Patrick. Even Adam was gone as Ame had gone with the wives and the Williams' and taken all the kids to Chuck E. Cheese."

"Okay, so what happened?"

"Nothing," Indi growled in disgust. "Okasa took Charisma upstairs - settled her into a bath to warm her up and when she went in to check on her, Charisma was tucked into bed asleep. This morning Charisma was gone - left a note for Ame telling her to bring Adam home tomorrow - he's been having so much fun playing with his cousins that Charisma didn't want to take him away from that any sooner than necessary."

"Did she speak to Okasa before she left?"

Indi shook her head. "She wrote her a note as well. But it was kind of vague and... awkward... almost stilted. Like she really didn't know what to say anymore or how to say it. She thanked her for the holiday and for looking after Adam and expressed a desire to see them again in the near future."

Esmeralda's brows rose into her hairline. "Are you serious? She wrote a perfunctory, polite hostess note to her mother??"

"Pretty much. Okasa was cool about it; she just picked up the phone and called Charisma. When the call went to voicemail, she called Kay to find out about what happened with Charisma in the park. She wasn't happy with the fact the Kay refused to share what her conversation with Charisma entailed, but Okasa stopped badgering her when Kay claimed confidentiality. Okasa then explained her concern over Charisma's discombobulation and Kay assured her it was to be expected."

Esmeralda nodded her head slowly. "So why'd you want to tell me this in private, Indi? You know my policy on keeping everyone in the loop."

"I do, but I thought you might want a chance to digest this alone first. I know everyone basically thinks this mission is over and that we failed our task to bring them together."

"But you don't."

"After yesterday, I think we've just gotten to the beginning of the end. There's so much in play right now... especially after everything that Kay said to Charisma. I think Kay may be the key to this thing getting resolved positively, because she's pushed Charisma out of her comfort zone in Egypt and right into a state of awareness that Charisma is completely unfamiliar with." Indi sighed. "I just don't think we're going to get called home straight away."

"I'm inclined to agree," Esmeralda said with a slow nod. "Thanks, Indi. I appreciate the consideration. I will probably ask you to share everything you just shared with me again.

"I know," Indi smiled. "But at least you won't be taken by surprise by it." A knock on the door brought their heads around just as Saphira stuck her head in.

"Everything all right?" looking between them before meeting Esmeralda's eyes. Esmeralda smiled and nodded, even as she held out a hand to Saphira. Saphira accepted it and lifted it to her lips to brush a kiss over the knuckles. "Opal's here - Brianna just got back into town."