************

"Wow - she really...?" Saphira set a plate in front of Esmeralda and poured them both a glass of milk before taking a seat beside her at the kitchen table. Ruby had insisted on covering her shift; Saphira had called and Matilda had agreed when she'd heard about the way their previous evening had ended, though she called in the new girl to help Ruby, so Ruby had come home earlier and gone straight to bed. Now it was just the two of them sitting together at the table while Esmeralda indulged in a rare peanut butter and jelly sandwich.

"She did. I dunno, Phira - I don't know what to think about this mission anymore. This has gone so far beyond anything I ever even considered as a possibility. I know we're not done - obviously... He hasn't called us... them... home. But I'm at a loss to know what to do anymore."

"Maybe you're not supposed to do anything at this point." Saphira sighed and wrapped her hands around her glass of milk. "If you're completely honest, this whole project has been one snafu after another. You haven't been able to access the information you need or direct things like you normally would and it's become a complete fubar, correct?"

Esmeralda sighed. "That's probably a little harsher than I would have put it, but it about sums things up, yes."

"Maybe you're... *we're*... just supposed to be here for them. Because Charisma has lived in the closet so long, she's become wallpaper. Her mindset won't change overnight, no matter what happens in her life. Things like last night might help speed her thinking along, but she's going to have to be the one that ultimately changes her life - because that's what this will be for her. Maybe we're just supposed to be there and support them while she comes to the realizations she needs to."

"Maybe," Esmeralda agreed slowly, taking another bite of her sandwich and chewing thoughtfully. "Still, I was amazed by her tonight."

"But what about Brianna?"

"I don't know. I think if Charisma wants, she's gonna have to be willing to risk everything. Brianna won't believe her otherwise." Esmeralda swallowed the last bite of her sandwich and finished her milk before she stood and took her dishes to the sink. "Well, tomorrow is another day. Maybe we'll get a few more baby steps - eventually they might add up to a step forward." She rinsed off her dishes, then did the same with Saphira's glass. "C'mon... it's past my bedtime."

Saphira accepted the hand Esmeralda extended and led them into the bedroom. Tomorrow would come soon enough for them.

***********

The rest of the week passed rather casually for everyone. Brianna and Charisma only met in the hallway twice, and otherwise had no real interaction. Scott Patterson wondered aloud if they'd had a lovers quarrel as neither woman suddenly seemed to have the time of day for the other, but several Senators pointed out they had all been busy trying to get back into the swing of things. Another two had taken him aside privately and reminded him that speculation like that outside his office was likely to get him the kind of press no politician wanted. So he let it go with murmurings and grumblings - and vowed to keep an eye on both women. Tagherty especially was someone he wouldn't mind undermining. She held a chair he coveted for his own. So he sat back to wait... and watch.

For their own parts, Brianna and Charisma were both actually quite busy with work. New sessions always meant restarting from scratch on a lot of things, and they were in and out of committee meetings constantly. For Brianna, it was a relief. It allowed her to settle back into work without the pressure of resuming a more familiar friendship with Charisma. That might happen one day, but it wasn't going to be immediate.

For Charisma, it was an exercise in frustration. Her mind was being pulled in so many directions - not the least of which was her last conversation with Okasa. As predicted, Okasa had called as soon as she'd heard the news about Brianna's attack. And that phone call just kept replaying over and over in Charisma's mind.

************

"Charisma, it's Mama. What's going on down there? Do I need to send Hunter down there to look after you girls? What happened?? How's Brianna? And is someone looking after Saphira and Esmeralda? I'm sure they need...."

"Mama... MAMA - slow down a minute and let me get a word in edgewise, all right? Brianna's fine; I spoke to her earlier today. She came into work for a little while this morning, and then went home to get some sleep. I'll see Es before I go home tonight. She told Brianna she'd be in to work tonight."

"What?? Is she crazy?? That child needs to rest... especially after that kind of excitement. And what about Saphira? I know your brother said she should have been in law enforcement, but what on Earth was she thinking, taking on an armed thug like that?? Don't get me wrong - I'm thrilled she was able to take him out without anyone getting hurt, but my God!! What if something had happened to her... or Esmeralda... or Brianna?? Do you kids have any idea how much I worry?? There's a reason there's more salt than pepper in my hair, you know."

"Yes, Mama - I know," Charisma broke in before Okasa really got wound up. "Do you want me to ask Brianna to call you? You know she would."

"NO." The reply so sharp that Charisma expected it to draw blood. "No," Okasa repeated a second time, though much more softly than the first. "She's asked for space and I'll be damned if we don't give her that. That doesn't mean I'm going to worry any less." She took a deep breath. "You talk to Es and you call and let me know how she seems to you."

"I will, Mama."

"All right, Baby Girl - how are you holding up?"

Charisma snorted. "You know how new sessions are."

"I know I'm glad I never went into politics. You take care of yourself and my grandson. And if you need us, Paddy and I are only a phone call away."

"I know, Mama, and I appreciate it."

"I love you, Charisma."

"Love you too, Mama. Bye."

************

That conversation, combined with the rumors Charisma was fairly sure Scott Patterson had a hand in as well as Brianna's distinct avoidance of her combined to be running her mind in a vicious circle. She idly wondered what Patterson would think if her separation from Kent became public knowledge. Charisma made a mental note to stick around a little late tonight and talk to Esmeralda. Maybe Esmeralda could help her get things straight in her mind... so to speak.

************

"Charisma? Is something wrong?"

Charisma's head popped up at the sound of her name and she regarded Esmeralda with quizzical eyes. "Why would you think something was wrong, Es?"

Esmeralda smirked. "It's Friday night - you should either be home with your son or out having dinner and drinks with your colleagues. Instead, you're curled up on your office couch reading...." Esmeralda tilted her head trying to read the title of the book Charisma still had open on her lap. "Well, I'm not sure what you're reading - I'm pretty sure it's not any sort of legislation though. So either something is up in a bad way or you're waiting to talk to me."

"I want you to know that is still a little freaky to me. No one has ever been able to read me the way you can - I'll be honest... it scares me a little."

"I'm not trying...."

"I know. I'm just thankful you use your powers for good," Charisma offered with a smile. She patted the seat beside her. "Come sit down - because you're right... I was waiting to talk to you. And I'm not sure I can wait until next Sunday."

"Sounds serious."

"It is serious. I...." Charisma bit her lip and looked down at the book still open in her lap. With single-minded focus, she marked her place precisely and closed the book with due deliberation. Once she was satisfied that her bookmark was perfectly even and the book jacket corners were seated correctly, Charisma put the book carefully on the table in front of her. Then she clasped her hands in her lap... so tightly that her knuckles turned white - quite noticeable on her olive-toned skin. She started when Esmeralda covered her fists with a gentle touch and raised confused blue eyes to meet understanding green.

"Talk to me, Charisma - it's just you and me here, and I don't bite unless your name is Saphira and you ask nicely," drawing the laugh she was looking for. Charisma nodded her head and looked down at their joined hands, then sucked in a shaky breath.

"I've messed up, and I don't know how to fix it."

"Do you know what you did wrong?"

"I think so. I think I took too much and gave too little."

"Do you know what you want your results to be?"

"I don't understand," Charisma replied, frowning in genuine bewilderment.

"Yeah... I didn't phrase that very well, did I?" Esmeralda sighed. "Let me lay this out a little and you can tell me if I'm on the right track or not, all right?" Charisma nodded and waited for Esmeralda to continue. "Since Brianna returned to your life, she's bent over backwards for you - trying to make you comfortable with her again; offering you friendship that took you a little while to accept; returning to your family with you because you asked her to. Right so far?"

"Yes, but...."

"Shh," the directive causing Charisma's mouth to snap shut so quickly, she almost bit her tongue. "You were jealous... DON'T, Charisma," before she could deny Esmeralda's words. "I was there; I know what I saw. And I wasn't the only one either. You were almost insane with jealousy. Then you realized why Brianna had said goodbye to you in Barcelona - why she'd walked out of your life. So you decided you could have it all - a husband and son for appearances and the best friend you'd missed like crazy - it was all yours for the taking. Except things didn't quite work out that way did they?" her voice gentle.

Charisma snorted. "Not even close. I don't know... hell, I don't know a damn thing, evidently. My life has gone to hell in a hand basket and I'm not sure what to do to fix it - I'm not sure what I *can* do at this point, much less what I *want* to do. My husband has filed for separation, and every reason he gave was a viable one. He even made it possible for me to have the final say on whether we stay married or not. As for Brianna...." Charisma shook her head. "I'm not sure there's anything I can do to fix the damage I've done there. I don't think she cares anymore."

"What if I told you she does?" Charisma met Esmeralda's eyes in an intense stare. "Charisma, she has done all the giving in this relationship since she returned to the forefront of your life. Don't you think it's time you offered her the same courtesy?"

"Es, you're asking me to be someone I'm not."

"No, Charisma - I'm asking you to be honest about who you are." Esmeralda paused and took a deep breath. "Let me ask you something, Charisma, and I want you to think about your answer. If you're so concerned with your image, why haven't you destroyed those separation papers? I can understand why you didn't shred them right away - if Kent took you by surprise when he served them to you, I'm sure your first reaction was one of shock. But Charisma... if I have this figured right, it's been almost a week if not longer - which tells me you're considering it as a possibility. And what about the letters Brianna wrote you - have you read them yet?"

"How did you...?"

"Don't ask - I promised not to tell. The other I guessed based on when you originally told me about Kent filing separation papers." Esmeralda shook her head to get back on track. "Charisma, I'm not trying to make you feel bad or add to your confusion. You don't like what your life is at the moment, so you need to change it, correct?" Charisma nodded. "Assume you only have this one chance to make your life over into what you want it to be from now on - what kind of result do you want to come from the changes you make? That's the first thing you need to decide. You can't really move forward until you know where you're headed."

"You're pretty smart, Es," Charisma whispered.

"Hard won experience, Senator."

Silence for several long moments. "I don't know if I can do this, Es. I don't know if I am strong enough... or unselfish enough."

"You won't be alone, Charisma, no matter what you choose to do... not if you don't want to be. Maybe you should go home and think about what's really important to you. Decide what will make you happiest. Once you figure that out, the rest should fall into place."