Charisma made her call, then it was just a matter of waiting for Opal to get to her home and call her back with the information they needed. The silence was a little bit awkward, so when Charisma cleared her throat, it caused Brianna's head to snap up. Charisma's blue eyes met Brianna's reticent green ones, holding them momentarily before she allowed hers to drop to her clasped hands.

"I read the letters you wrote," Charisma said softly. "I never thought... I never understood...."

Brianna shrugged, her discomfort acute. She moved to the window, feeling the cold of the glass as a welcome touch on her overheated skin. "Now you do," she finally replied when it became clear that Charisma was waiting for some sort of rejoinder from her.

"Now I do," Charisma conceded without hesitation. "If I had known - no, that's not fair. If I had been strong enough to acknowledge what I knew... or at least what I strongly suspected...." She sighed. "So much would be different, Bri." She saw Brianna's back stiffen in response, and Charisma bit her lips to keep the tears from spilling over onto her cheeks. Brianna never moved from her spot by the window, and Charisma took a deep breath. "I read your letters and they broke my heart, Bri - to know I was so close to having ev...." She broke off and shook her head. "And then to watch Es literally start to die in front of my eyes... knowing that Saphira's death is going to destroy her." Charisma paused, then decided she had nothing to lose by gambling everything. "All I've been able to think of is what if it had been you? What would I do if you were gone?"

Brianna sighed, her voice a bare whisper when she spoke. "You'd be all right, Charisma. You've lived without me before."

"But I was never happy, Bri, and I wouldn't want to - I don't want to ever again."

The ringing of Charisma's phone cut off the silence that dragged on with Brianna's lack of response. And by the time Charisma hung up, the moment was over and Brianna had reverted back to her polite, professional persona. It made Charisma want to cry; instead, she handed Brianna half the list and they set about making the necessary phone calls.

************

Kay took a moment to lean against the door and take in the room in front of her. There was a certain amount of natural curiosity, but much of it was in a professional capacity. It might give her some clue on a way to help Esmeralda. Because she couldn't dismiss the fact that everyone seemed convinced that Saphira's death would devastate Esmeralda, and if Kay could manage it, she would love to find a way to prevent that. So she looked around her, eager to find something she could use to relate to Esmeralda, because the closest she could come was her break-up with Brianna, and she knew that wasn't even in the same league as far as heartache went.

So she was caught completely by surprise when the bed emitted a raspy sounding voice.

"Would you like to come in or are you just gonna hover in the doorway?"

Kay's eyes immediately latched onto the green eyes just visible in the light of the afternoon sun that squeezed into the room via cracks in the curtains and blinds. Only years of practice and schooling allowed Kay to maintain the faзade of polite interest and not reveal the sympathetic pain she felt at the agony Esmeralda's eyes revealed. She pushed off the door and broached the bed, stopping beside Esmeralda without touching her.

"How are you, Esmeralda?"

Esmeralda studied Kay for a long moment before she shifted and patted the space she'd just made. Kay cocked an eyebrow and Esmeralda just patted the space again. Kay took the hint and took a seat, waiting for Esmeralda to speak.

"You are Brianna's best friend, aren't you?" When Esmeralda spoke again, her words were unexpected, and Kay frowned hard as she processed them. Then she tilted her head, wondering why Esmeralda wanted to know such a thing now. Surely she had other things on her mind... things she'd rather talk about and remember. Kay jerked out of her brown study when she felt soft, warm fingers massage away the wrinkles on her forehead. She returned her eyes to Esmeralda's who managed to give her a sad smirk. "I'm not asking you to cure cancer," Esmeralda reassured Kay quietly. "I just want to know if you're Brianna's best friend - if you're someone who looks out for her best interests despite herself."

"I try," Kay sputtered. "I'm not always successful."

"No one is," Esmeralda informed her. "Not even Saphira and I could manage that all the time."

"Would you like to talk about Saphira, Esmeralda?" Kay asked compassionately when she was silent for a few minutes. Esmeralda shook her head.

"There's nothing to talk about, Kay. She's gone, and this time there's no possibility of her coming back to me." She smiled weakly. "I appreciate the offer though... even if it was done from a professional perspective."

"Maybe a little," Kay shrugged. "It is what I do after all. But mostly it was done as a friendly gesture. I know we don't know one another all that well, but Brianna loves you and considers you to be a good friend, and we take care of our friends... just like they were family. So if you ever want to talk and need someone to listen...."

"I won't," Esmeralda said so softly that Kay had to lean down to catch her words. "But thank you."

Another few minutes passed and Kay cleared her throat, waiting for Esmeralda to meet her eyes. "Why did you ask about Brianna? About my friendship with her?"

"You know the story - about her and Charisma?" Kay nodded her head. "Don't let her miss an opportunity to be happy, Kay." That was all Esmeralda said, then she closed her eyes and rolled over to put her back to Kay. Kay sat there for a few minutes longer without moving; only when the door opened did she shift and only enough to see Okasa poke her head in the door.

Kay rose from her seat and trod lightly to the door, gesturing with her chin and following Okasa back out to the kitchen.

"How is she?" Okasa inquired softly. Kay shook her head.

"It's hard to say, Mama O. She seems to have already accepted Saphira's death, but the depth of her sorrow is staggering. I can practically feel it emanating from her very being." Kay paused and pinched her lip while she contemplated her words. "I don't think she is suicidal, but I now understand why everyone is so concerned with Esmeralda surviving this loss. There's no will to live there."

"Can I see her? Can I talk to her?"

Kay nodded slowly. "You can try." She placed a hand on Okasa's arm. "Don't be surprised if she doesn't really respond well, Mama. She's withdrawing into herself. I've never seen grief like this before... so all-consuming."

Okasa bit her lip. "I wonder if that's because of the way they saw themselves."

Kay angled her head to one side. "Because they saw themselves as mates and not merely partners?" seeing Okasa nod. "You may be right. Esmeralda is behaving like part of her is missing... the part that kept her going throughout her sickness... a part she needs to be able to survive, much less live." Kay held up her hands. "I know that when half of a couple dies, the other half suffers. When you've been part of someone's life for that long, something *is* missing." She shook her head. "But this is more - like when the soul has left the body and only the shell remains... not even realizing that it's already dead and just waiting to catch up."

"Kay...."

"I know. I know it sounds weird, all right? Trust me... I'm not real comfortable trying to articulate this out loud... even to you, Mama. But you need to understand how serious I think this is." Kay took a deep breath and swallowed hard. "If something was to happen to Lee or Brianna or you, I would be heartbroken because you've all been a part of my heart and life for nearly twenty years - and for Lee it would be even more true because he is my husband and the father of my children."

"As it would be for me, Kay. What's your point?"

Kay glared. "My point," she complained with a growl, "is that while I would be heartbroken... devastated, even... I would survive. First I would do it for my kids, but then I would do it for me. I don't think Esmeralda has any desire to do that. The will to live is gone, replaced by unfathomable pain."

"And yet you don't think she is suicidal," Okasa commented flatly.

"No, I really don't. I don't think she needs to be - her soul is already gone, Mama. She just needs for her body to recognize that fact."

Okasa rubbed her fingers over her eyes, pinching the bridge of her nose as she blew out a frustrated breath. "For mercy's sake - that is simply wretched. And there's nothing we can do to make a difference?"

Kay shrugged and shook her head. "I don't think so. But it can't hurt to give it our best effort either. Talk to her, Mama. Maybe she'll listen to you."

"What did you say to her, Kay?"

"Nothing, really," blowing out an impatient breath. "She didn't really give me a chance to. She told me not to let Brianna miss an opportunity to be happy, then she turned her back."

"That's it?"

"That's it," Kay confirmed.

Okasa blew out a breath. "All right. Let me see if I can do something to help. If Charisma and Brianna get done with their phone calls...."

"I'll ask them to wait until you come back out," Kay offered.

"Thank you," Okasa said, and tapped lightly on Esmeralda's door before letting herself into the room.

************

Charisma finished up the last of her phone calls before Brianna did, so she sat quietly in her corner while Brianna shared the news with the last Senator on her list. When she was done, she leaned back and closed her eyes as she blew out an exhausted breath.

"That's everyone on my list. Everyone is planning to be at the service. They were asking what they could do."

Charisma leaned back in her chair and stretched. "What did you tell them?"

"I started to tell them to talk to you about it, since you're the senior here and all," Brianna replied as she sat up and focused her gaze on Charisma. "Then I figured since Okasa was planning to host the wake at your home, maybe I shouldn't add any more responsibility to your load. So I asked Stephen and Elizabeth to take up a collection. We'll have an arrangement sent and give the rest to Es. If she feels it's too close to charity to accept it for herself, we'll donate it in her name and Saphira's to whatever charity she chooses."

"That seems reasonable."

"I can be, on occasion."

"I seem to remember that," Charisma offered with a smile. Brianna averted her eyes and gathered up the paper she'd been using, folding it carefully and sticking it into her back pocket to dispose of later. She was confident none of the Senators listed there wanted their private information floating around and Esmeralda didn't have a shredder she could run it through. Not that she expected Esmeralda to use them of course, but she couldn't simply throw them away either. All this was running through her mind as she rose and started to make her way out of the living room. A hand on her elbow caused Brianna to jerk out of her inner thoughts and nearly clock Charisma in the head.

Brianna blinked. "Hey... you all right?"

Charisma blew out a shaky breath. "I'm going to hope that was a reflex and not directed at me specifically," she said with a smile, though Brianna could clearly read the doubt in her gaze.

"Yeah... sorry. I was thinking." She shook her head, though she didn't say anything else. "Should we go see if we can talk to Esmeralda?

Charisma frowned. "Are you avoiding the question, Brianna?"

Brianna's brows shot into her hairline. "Um... what question?"

"Do you think we could...?" Charisma looked down at her clenched hands, then back at Brianna. "Look, Bri - all this has really thrown me for a loop. Seeing what Saphira's death has done to Esmeralda in just the few short hours since she died; all that keeps running through my brain is what if it had been you? What would I do if something like this happened to you?" She held up her hands to keep Brianna from interrupting. "I know what you said - that I've lived without you before and I could do it again. But the truth is, I wouldn't want to... I *don't* want to. I just... I'd love if we could just let bygones be bygones and start over," seeing the walls coming up in Brianna's dulled green eyes. Charisma paused and looked at the ground before taking a deep breath and forcing herself to meet Brianna's shuttered expression. "I know this whole situation is my fault - I'm willing to accept the blame for our entire separation. Can't we be friends again?"