"Everything all right girls?" crossing his arms over his chest and his feet at the ankles as he leaned against the counter. "How's Es?"

"She woke up for a little while, Daddy."

"But...?" waiting for a long moment for a response before he proceeded to speak again. "C'mon, lasses," his brogue coming to the fore as it always did in times of stress. "You'd not be looking quite so exhausted if somethin' troublesome hadn't happened in that room." He glanced around. "Where's Adam?"

"Adam's fine, Papa," Brianna replied. "He's taking a nap with Es. It seemed to bring her comfort and since he wanted to help her feel better...." She shrugged.

"So something happened betwixt the two of ya then?" seeing color rise in one face and drain from the other.

"Daddy!" Charisma choked out. Before he could comment further, the coffee finished making and Patrick turned his back to them to prepare a cup for himself and one for Okasa as well.

"I'm not gonna ask," he said quietly as he picked up both cups. "But maybe the two of you should figure this out before ya lose yer chance to do so." He didn't give them the chance to reply; he simply walked to the door and back towards the living room.

Almost the moment he disappeared from view, Kay stepped into the room, as though she'd been waiting just outside the door. With an effort at nonchalance, she grabbed two more coffee cups and poured them full, then looked at Brianna and Charisma.

"If you two would like to join us in the living room, we'd like an update on Esmeralda if you have one." Without giving them time to comment, she followed Patrick's footsteps back to the living room.

Charisma and Brianna spared one another a quick glance, then moved towards the coffee pot. Charisma grabbed the cups as Brianna picked up the pot, falling into a rhythm they had found with one another in a time long past. Charisma added sugar and Brianna poured the cream and in moments their coffee was ready. Only when that chore was done did they look at each other again.

"So do you want to talk to them or shall I?" Brianna asked, lifting her cup towards the people gathered in the living room. "Most of them belong to you."

Charisma snorted. "All but one belongs to me, and all but one belongs to you. I'd say it was pretty well even." She met Brianna's disbelieving stare. "Oh come on, Brianna - Mama and Daddy belong to you as much as they belong to me. However, I'll go talk to them. You'll let us know if anything changes?"

"Of course," Brianna replied as she pulled a chair out from the table. Charisma nodded and walked out of the kitchen. Brianna placed her coffee in front of her and folded her hands so she could prop her chin on top. Then she focused her gaze on the tabletop and waited.

************

"Es?" Adam said sleepily, yawning and stretching against her. He sat up carefully, strangely mindful of where he put his hands. Brianna had told him Es hurt, and Adam didn't want to be the one that brought more pain to her... however accidentally. He leaned over until his face was over hers, then he raised one hand and patted her cheek gently. "Es? You 'wake?"

Esmeralda blinked open heavy eyes, wondering why she still felt so exhausted. Then she met Adam's bright blue eyes and smiled even as tears flooded her eyes again. "Hi Adam," she breathed out quietly, afraid anything louder would cause the sobs to start. And as much as she may have needed that release, she refused to traumatize Adam with the depth of her grief.

Adam smiled then grew grave, reaching up to tenderly wipe the tear the spilled from Esmeralda's eye without her conscious permission. "Es hurt?" Esmeralda nodded, the motion causing even more wetness to slide down her cheeks. Adam sat up further and jerked a thumb at his chest with a determined air. "Adam kiss... make better."

"Oh Sweetie," Esmeralda replied softly. "I wish you could." She put a hand over her heart. "I hurt on the inside, Adam. I hurt in the place where Saphira was."

Adam put his hand on top of hers, closing his eyes and furrowing his brow in consternation. It would have been amusing if Esmeralda hadn't already been trying to hold herself together by sheer grit. As it was, she couldn't even appreciate how adorable he looked for fear of losing the last tether she had keeping her from simply losing control. She closed her eyes and focused on modulating her breathing. When she opened her eyes again, Adam was staring at her with a peculiar look on his face.

"Es?" he said calmly. "Phira's still there," patting the hand still resting on her heart. She blinked at him stupidly.

"Adam, how do you know that?"

"Phira told me," he responded matter-of-factly. Esmeralda sucked in a breath as though she'd been sucker punched.

"She told you?" asked in a hoarse whisper that was all that she could manage.

"YES!" he affirmed bluntly with a smile on his face, then pointed to the corner of the room closest to the head of the bed on Saphira's side. "Ask her!"

Esmeralda blinked dumbly, then turned her head. But to her dismay, there was nothing for her to see - no one in the corner Adam was indicating. Surely if Saphira was nearby, Esmeralda would be able to see her, wouldn't she? But she knew better than most that sometimes the heart and mind hide what they are unwilling or unable to acknowledge. And she also recognized that children are able to see and appreciate many things that most adults no longer accept as possible.

It occurred to her briefly that this was like a test of faith for her, and she realized if that was truly the case, she was failing miserably. Esmeralda closed her eyes again and decided to accept that as a possibility and act accordingly. She took a deep breath to center herself, feeling a peace settle over her she hadn't felt in a very long time. Now she didn't *almost* feel Saphira's presence - she truly felt Saphira beside her and within. The feeling made her eyes well with tears and this time she made no effort to stop them or the sobs that accompanied them.

Adam had been watching Esmeralda carefully, and when the tears started flowing and her shoulders started shaking, he looked to the corner for a long moment before sliding from the bed to the floor. He ran to the door and opened it with effort, then nearly ran smack into Brianna. He didn't hesitate, but took her by the hand and pulled her back into the room.

Brianna, who had heard Adam's thump when his feet hit the floor, had risen from her chair and moved towards the bedroom door. She reached it just as Adam jerked it wide, and she willingly let herself be tugged into the room at his urgent behest.

"Br'anna fix - help Es," he commanded pointing a finger towards the figure crying on the bed. Brianna felt her own eyes welling up, but she nodded and walked to Esmeralda's side, taking a seat on the bed and rubbing the other woman's back in the only gesture of comfort she could offer.

She noticed Adam move to a corner of the room and wondered what held his attention. Then without any visible cue, he came back around to stand beside her, and Brianna smiled down at him gently.

"Es okay now?" he asked with a voice full of concern.

Brianna cupped his face in her free hand. "I think she will be, Sweetie. Can you go ask Mama to come in here for a minute? I promised her...." But before Brianna could finish her explanation, Adam had taken off in a little boy run to find Charisma. Surprisingly, though, he didn't yell - he just ran.

In another moment, Charisma was being led back into Esmeralda's room by her son's hand, and they were being followed by Okasa, Patrick and Kent at a much more sedate pace. Brianna chanced to wonder where Kay was, but before she could ask, Charisma volunteered the information.

"She had to take a call."

Brianna nodded her acceptance of Charisma's explanation and turned back to Esmeralda who was still crying. Charisma picked Adam up with a groan and walked back to where the rest waited in the doorway.

"Son, I want you to go with Daddy and Gramma and Papa for now, okay? I promise, Brianna and I will take care of Es, but ...."

"S'okay, Mama," Adam said, patting her face. "Love Es."

Charisma smiled and tilted Adam towards Kent, who immediately shifted to lift Adam into his arms. Adam went willingly, and Charisma and Kent exchanged small smiles before Kent turned and walked back towards the living room. Patrick followed him without a word. Okasa hesitated a moment.

"Is there anything...?"

"I don't think so, Mama. If there is...."

"... you know where to find us." Okasa patted Charisma's arm. "Good luck," she added before she too walked back to the living room to wait.

Charisma closed the door and turned back towards the bed, but she didn't approach it. From where she stood, she could see that Esmeralda was no longer wracked by sobs and though there still appeared to be tears sliding down her cheeks, she was talking to Brianna in quiet tones. Charisma leaned against the door and crossed her arms over her chest, content to wait.

************

Brianna had kept up the soothing motion on Esmeralda's back, not sure what else to do. She'd spared a glance at Charisma and the rest when they'd stopped in the doorway, tacitly recognizing Charisma's explanation of Kay's absence before turning back to Esmeralda. She felt more than saw Charisma removing Adam from the immediate area, focusing her attention on Esmeralda. Though she felt the shudders subsiding, Brianna continued to rub Esmeralda's back slowly, hoping to contribute a sense of calm to Esmeralda, if not actual peace.

When Esmeralda was able to get her hiccups under control, she rolled over just enough to meet Brianna's eyes. "Thank you," she offered quietly. "I...."

Brianna shook her head. "No need for thanks, Es. I can't begin to imagine what you're going through right now."

"You don't have to, Brianna. You've already been there... in a manner of speaking."

Brianna shook her head. "Not even close, Es. It doesn't even compare. At least I could have confronted Charisma. It wasn't like she was gone from me completely."

"But she was, Brianna. Oh, maybe not in a permanent way like death." Tears rolled down her face but Esmeralda didn't break down again. "But she was still completely out of your realm."

"Maybe... but it was my own choice, Es - she wasn't taken from me."

Esmeralda smiled sadly and shook her head. Brianna didn't want to believe what Esmeralda knew to be true and there was no way to convince her at the moment. "Well, thank you anyway, Brianna. You and Charisma have been godsends to me... but especially now."

"I for one am glad I could be, Es," Brianna said, clutching one of Esmeralda's hands in her free one and simply holding it. She turned and caught Charisma watching them from the door and motioned her over with a wrench of her head. Charisma pushed off the door and circled to the other side of the bed, taking a seat and covering the hand Brianna still held with one of her own. Brianna didn't move, but it took everything in her not to flinch or jerk away from the unexpected touch. Charisma squeezed lightly, and kept her eyes locked on Esmeralda's face.

"Thank you," Esmeralda repeated quietly. "I told Brianna - you both have been godsends in my life, but especially now. I don't know how I'll ever repay...."

Charisma shook her head. "Don't let Mama hear you say that. There's no repayment needed when it comes to family... old or new."

"Then as family, I'm gonna say something, and I want you both to let me have my say without interruption. Then I want the two of you to go and take the rest of the family and go home for today. I promise you'll all be welcome to come over again tomorrow, but I need to be alone for the rest of the day... please."

Brianna and Charisma exchanged looks, then turned to Esmeralda and nodded simultaneously. "Would you like us to ask Ruby to come with us as well?"

"Is she sleeping?"

"She was."

"Then no. As long as she's resting, she's fine here. But I may ask her to call you if she starts stirring around."

"She'll be more than welcomed, Es," Charisma said, and Esmeralda nodded her acceptance. Then she took a deep breath and spoke softly.

"Brianna, I know you're angry - you're angry about the situation you and Charisma are in; you're angry at Charisma for allowing it, but you're mostly angry at yourself." She held up a hand and shook her head before Brianna could interject. "Charisma, you're scared - you're scared of what people will think... of what this will do to your career.... But mostly you're scared you can't be what Brianna needs you to be." She paused for breath. "I want you both to think about something - I want you to understand one thing regardless of what you do with your anger and your fear." Esmeralda tilted her head up to look at the ceiling, blinking rapidly to keep the tears from spilling down her face once more. She took another deep breath and shook her head. "As badly as I hurt right now... as much as I miss Saphira, the only regret I have is the time we spent apart. Not that it was my choice or hers to be separated, but the time we missed together is my one regret in sharing my life with her. I didn't have all of her that should have been mine. Don't let anger and fear rob you of what you should have - it will only leave regret in its wake."