She couldn't have said how long she sat there curled under the afghan her grandmother had made staring into the flames made possible by the gas fireplace when she felt Kay tugging at a corner of the cover. Without a word, Brianna opened the blanket and Kay crawled in beside her and waited for Brianna to snuggle into her for warmth. After a long moment, they both sighed and Kay gently hugged Brianna to her.
"You all right?" she asked sleepily. "I know you haven't actually slept yet."
Brianna shrugged. "I keep thinking about what Es said. Part of me is angry and part of me is sad and a little of me is even afraid." She stopped and Kay just waited. "But the biggest part of me just hurts, Kay."
"Why?" Brianna blinked and turned her head to look at Kay disbelievingly. Kay just arched an eyebrow. "It's a legitimate question Bri. Why do you feel the way you feel?"
"I'm angry...." Brianna took a deep breath, closing her eyes as she released it slowly, then breathed in again slowly as she opened her eyes and met Kay's. "I'm angry because she called me out in front of Charisma - and because she was right. I'm sad because seeing Esmeralda like this... Kay, I've seen death - you know that. I've seen what happens when half of a couple is gone. I'm sad because I know what this means for Es... even if it doesn't kill her. She'll always been lonely, even when she's surrounded by people she loves." Brianna paused and Kay just waited, knowing there was more.
"I'm afraid because she was right, Kay; Es was right. I'm furious at Charisma, and I don't know if I can get past that. Sometimes, I'm not sure I even want to try anymore." Kay nodded, but she didn't speak, and Brianna tilted her head in question. "No comment?"
"They're your feelings, Bri. What would you like me to say?" Kay held Brianna's gaze, and after a moment, Brianna just shook her head. "Tell me the rest, Bri."
"I hurt, Kay - I've hurt for a very long time, but I've always been able to keep it in the background, you know? Something I was aware of, but not really conscious of, if that makes any sense. Like I knew there was always a place that belonged to Charisma, but as long as we were out of each other's lives, it was just a dull ache... something I didn't notice unless it got poked."
"And now?"
"Now it's harsh and burning and... I don't know how to describe it, Kay. It just hurts." She laughed grimly. "Funny, huh? A writer with no words."
Kay cupped Brianna's face tenderly. "I have never thought it funny to see you in pain."
Brianna closed her eyes and leaned into the touch; she sighed softly. "What am I going to do, Kay? Everything I've tried has been an abject failure. I can't ignore her anymore; I can't just be friends; I refuse to be the other woman. What's left?"
"Maybe you should try talking together."
Brianna's eyebrows flew into her hairline. "Are you kidding me?!? That's it?? That's all you've got?"
Kay's brown eyes flashed fire and Brianna's widened in response. "Brianna, like it or not, you've been all over the place about her... with her... since you arrived here. You need to sit down and decide what's best for you." Kay sighed and looked at the fire that still crackled merrily along. "As I see it, you've got two basic choices - you either sit down together and talk this out from the beginning until you reach a resolution you both want and can live with...."
"Or?" when the pause went on too long.
"Or you call Michael and tell him to appoint someone else in your place and you walk out of her life - out of *their* lives - forever." Kay took another deep breath. "It's not fair to either of you otherwise, and you can't keep living like this - neither of you can. I know that you've lived with this pain for a long time, lover - it's time to let it go."
Brianna smiled sadly. "Been a long time since you called me that."
"Been a long time since we've been that, but I do still love you, Bri. A part of me always will, remember?" She yawned and stretched, then stood so she could stretch again. Then she turned and tucked the afghan around Brianna's shoulders once more. "I'm going back to bed. It's still dark out, and I need all the sleep I can get before my brood shows up this morning."
"Thanks, Kay," Brianna whispered as Kay walked around the couch. Kay leaned down and brushed a kiss over the top of Brianna's head.
"Anytime, Sweetie. I'll even give you the family discount," she added with a smirk. Brianna snorted.
"Good thing - it's the only way I can afford you." Kay chuckled and continued her trek back to the bedroom, closing the door, but not shutting it completely. Brianna remained on the couch, though her thoughts were a million miles away. It was only when her phone rang a couple hours later that she was pulled from her brown study, only to frown when she saw the name on her screen
What on Earth could Laura Maxwell want with her at six o'clock in the morning??
Chapter XCIX
Brianna had glared at her phone once the call was over, as if it had instigated the entire fiasco she could feel brewing like a hurricane. Instead of tossing it into the nearest wall, however, Brianna merely turned it off and placed in on the nearby table. Then she stretched out, enjoying the sensation of relaxtion as it stole over the length of her body. She closed her eyes, but Laura Maxwell's words continued to echo in her mind until Brianna was growling out loud.
"Who does that bitch think she is?"
"Which bitch?" Kay asked through a yawn. "And why the hell is the phone ringing at six a.m.?" Brianna sat up, smiling sympathetically at the petulant expression Kay was giving her as she rubbed the sleep from her eyes. Brianna extended her arm and Kay sat down next to her, pulling the afghan around her shoulders to help retain the warmth Brianna had created.
"Laura Maxwell."
Kay waited patiently, but when all Brianna did was frown, she poked her in the ribs. Brianna squealed and glared at her, but Kay simply returned the glare and shrugged her shoulders. Brianna huffed.
"The phone ringing was Laura Maxwell. It seems she has decided she has an issue with me after all."
"I don't understand."
"I'm not sure I do yet either," Brianna stated. "We don't serve on any committees together, so I've only met the woman once that wasn't in passing, and she didn't appear to have a problem with me then. But if she feels the need to call me before God and the birds are awake for the day, I'd be willing to wager she's found something to bitch at me about... especially since she *demanded* my presence in her office this morning."
"She DEMANDED?"
Brianna snorted. "Oh yes - it was definitely an order. I think she's under the impression that she's a general in the great war of life, and we are just lowly foot soldiers awaiting her bidding."
"So are you going to acquiesce to her demand?"
"I am going to meet with her at the time I told her I was available to be there, but only because I am going to explain a few things to her."
Kay laughed. "I'd love to be able to sit in on that meeting - what time is it scheduled?"
"This morning at eleven. She wanted to meet me at eight; I refused. I want to be here to at least say hi to your family when they arrive, and I've got a couple things to take care of before I'm supposed to be at Es'."
"Are you still planning to go?" Briana looked at Kay like she'd grown a second head. "You said last night...."
"Kay, I would never let something like Es' honesty keep me from standing by her as her friend at a time like this... especially after what she and Saphira did for me when I first got here." She sighed. "Either way, I'd rather she be honest... however embarrassing and painful it is - there is usually less drama in the end. So unless Laura Maxwell keeps me tied up for several hours talking about God knows what in this stinking town, I'll be at Es' this afternoon."
"You don't know what she wants?"
"She refused to say over the phone. But I'll give you a guess."
"Charisma?"
"That's my thought."
************
It was still early when Lee and the kids arrived in town, but Brianna and Kay were waiting for them in the lobby of the hotel they were staying at for the remainder of their time in Washington. After exchanging hugs and salutations, they made their way upstairs to the rooms Kay had already secured for them. The kids followed Kay directly to their room to take care of their things and Lee turned a judicious eye towards Brianna as they walked into the second room. He immediately began to unpack.
"Who pissed you off so early?" he asked without a hint of apology in his voice for either his nosiness or his tone as he hung his suit in the closet. Brianna just smirked.
"That obvious?"
Lee snickered. "Bri, I've known you long enough to see through the political faзade bullshit." He stared at her a long moment. "So the question remains - who pissed you off so early?"
Brianna shook her head. "Ask me later. Then I'll know if I have more reason to be angry than simply being woken up before daybreak this morning."
Lee winced. "Ouch." He turned to Kay as she crossed the threshold into their room. How's Es?"
Kay shook her head. "I don't know, honestly. She seems to accept what's happened, but there is something in her eyes.... It's…." She shook her head again. "I don't know," she repeated.
"Are we going to see her today? Or is there some sort of viewing...?"
Kay shook her head. "No viewing - Saphira is supposed to be cremated today. The service is tomorrow morning at ten, and then there will be a gathering at Charisma's for folks to offer their condolences." She glanced at her watch. "Charisma should be with Es right now - we set up a schedule last night so someone would be with her at all times today. You're welcome to go with me, if you'd like." Kay turned her attention to Brianna. "Are the boys going?" Brianna shrugged and Kay shrugged back before looking back at Lee. "It's up to you, sweetie. Whatever you're most comfortable with."
Lee nodded. It wasn't like he knew Esmeralda well. "Let's just play it by ear. A lot depends on the kids."
"I'll try to get back here to watch them if you want to go, Lee," Brianna offered as she glanced at her watch. "I need to get going though. I've got some things I need to do before it's my turn to stay with Es, and some of them can't wait apparently," she added with a growl. Lee's eyes widened and he cocked a brow at Kay who simply shook her head at him. He nodded his understanding and turned back to Brianna as she picked up her purse.
"You have my number if you need me," she reminded them.
"You have mine as well," Kay replied, knowing Brianna understood what she was saying.
"Yes, thank God. Because I'm pretty sure killing stupid people is still considered murder and I really don't look good in orange," Brianna added with a wry grin. She stepped forward and claimed a hug. "Thank you, Kay. You don't know...."
"Yes, I do. Give me a call later - just to let me know how things go. We can talk about it or not as you feel like it."
Brianna kissed her cheek. "Thanks," she whispered again as she pulled back from their embrace. Then she turned to Lee and opened her arms. Without a word, he lifted her up and squeezed her tightly, but with a gentleness belied by his frame. "Thank you for sharing her, Lee," kissing him as well.
He didn't answer except to kiss her back, then he gently put her on her feet. "I want the whole story later," he instructed. Brianna gave him a shaky smile.
"As soon as I can," she promised. Then she called out to the other room. "I need some goodbye hugs," causing a commotion of stomping feet as the kids ran as a group to bury her in hugs and kisses. Then Brianna was out the door and headed to the Mall to meet her first appointment of the day.
************
Charisma was still seething over Esmeralda's words as she pulled back into the garage of her home. But if she was completely honest, she wasn't as angry at Esmeralda as she was at herself. Everything Esmeralda had said - had *accused* her of - was completely true, and that rankled as much as being called out on her behavior. She shut off the SUV and leaned her head on the steering wheel and closed her eyes. The rapping on the window made her jump, and Charisma turned to glare at the disturbance. Kent gazed back at her with concern. She sighed and rolled down the window.
"You all right?"
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