"Of course not. I live in a political town - I play to win," causing the other four women to snicker.
Brianna took Esmeralda's hand from her face and enfolded it between hers. "We don't want you to go, Es. What'll we do without you?"
"The same thing you've always done, Brianna - live. I promise to stay with you as long as I can, and I'll be watching over you once I'm gone."
"Like a Guardian Angel," Charisma whispered, fingers touching the pin she wore every day that Esmeralda had given her those many months ago.
Esmeralda nodded. "Exactly like a Guardian Angel. Now how about we make some lunch?"
"Good idea - especially since Kent and Adam will be by with ice cream soon." And with that, they stood and began preparing the food that had been brought.
************
"Es?" Brianna asked as they cleaned up the kitchen sometime later. "What happened to Amber and Ruby? I expected them to stick around for a while... especially Ruby since she came here to help you out to begin with."
"They both had other responsibilities, and Ruby being here was creating a hardship for other members of the family, I think. I couldn't justify asking either of them to stay when they had so many other obligations they were accountable for."
"That kinda sucks," Kay commented as she dried a pan and passed it to Esmeralda to put away.
Esmeralda shrugged. "Life does sometimes. We just have to appreciate the good when it happens."
Okasa put a hand on Esmeralda's arm. "Is there any way I can convince you to stop working and come stay with us for whatever time you have left?"
Tears welled in Esmeralda's eyes, but she refused to allow them to fall. "Oh, Okasa... you have no idea how tempting that sounds, but I can't. I still have medical bills and funeral debts that have to be taken care of. I can't leave that for Amber to worry about. It's going to be hard enough for her to deal with my death."
Kay tilted her head curiously and Esmeralda proffered her full attention. "If your dying will bother her so much, why isn't she here spending time with you while you're still alive?"
Esmeralda studied Kay's expression, finding nothing but compassion and curiosity in her gaze. "I don't think she can be. For one thing, she's still trying to deal with Saphira's death - she was less prepared for that possibility than I was. For another, I don't think the Father will allow it."
"I don't understand."
"Saphira and I were banished from our home - disowned, if you will. She basically had to demand the right to attend Saphira's service with me. I think the Father has refused her permission to return."
"And she's incapable of defying Him?"
Esmeralda chuckled unexpectedly, and the sound drew smiles from everyone. "Oh no - she's quite capable of defiance. She could be a professional. I asked her not to. I won't be the cause of her being banished as well, and I'd prefer she stay in His good graces... just in case I need her."
"And I thought *my* family was screwed up," Brianna mumbled, causing the rest to laugh. Before Esmeralda could question, a knock sounded at the door, and she excused herself to answer it. Then Adam had thrown himself into her arms and Kent had entered behind him carrying yet another grocery bag. Esmeralda just squeezed Adam for all she was worth and shook her head at the amount of food that was suddenly occupying space in her house. Then she led the way to the kitchen so she could share ice cream with people she was proud to call family.
************
"Mama?" Adam asked hours later when Charisma was tucking him into bed. She cocked an eyebrow at him and he giggled and traced it with his finger. Then he frowned seriously and tipped his head to one side. "Es all better now?"
Charisma bit her lip and closed her eyes briefly. "I think we made Es happy today, but I don't think she's going to get better, Sweetie. She misses Saphira too much."
Adam threw his arms around her neck. "Love Es, Mama."
"I know, Son - we all love Es. But part of Es is missing with Saphira gone, and she needs that part to be all better again. None of us can fix that."
Adam considered her words carefully, then nodded and hugged her again. "Love Mama."
Charisma smiled and returned his embrace. "I love you too, Adam... so much. Sleep now with happy dreams, okay?" feeling him nod against her chest. She laid him down on his pillow and pulled the covers up over his shoulders. He yawned once and closed his eyes, nodding off before Charisma could rise from the bed. Then she made her way back downstairs where everyone else was assembled.
"He asleep already?" Kent asked. He hadn't put their son to bed because Adam had specifically requested Charisma, and though he was a little hurt by it, Kent understood that some things a boy sometimes needed his mama for. Charisma nodded and made a beeline for Brianna, curling up on the couch next to her and taking her hand without conscious thought.
"Yes. He wanted to know if Es was all better," feeling the wince that went around the room.
"I wish there was more we could do for her," Brianna said. Kay shook her head.
"The most important thing any of us can do is to share our happiness with her... especially the two of you," watching Brianna and Charisma blush and exchanging smirks with Okasa and Kent. "I know you're taking things remarkably slow, but I think knowing she played even a small role in seeing you happy together has eased her pain somewhat. Be thankful you could do that much."
The room fell silent and Charisma allowed her thumb to absently trace over the soft skin on Brianna's knuckles. Kent chuckled and rose from his chair, walking behind them and dropping a hand onto each of their shoulders. They jumped but didn't shift from their positions. Kent leaned forward until his head was on a level with theirs and took their joined hands in both of his.
"I just want to say I'm glad to see this," squeezing the clasp lightly. "I know it's only been a few months, but really, it's been a couple decades. So if you're going slow because of my feelings, please don't. I know I made the right decision. However, if you're going slow for each other, I suppose that's all right then. Just be happy, okay?"
Brianna and Charisma swapped startled glances, wondering about everyone's seemingly sudden need to ensure they were happy. Then they realized it could be much worse and decided to take whatever small blessings they could find - especially since they had be given almost unwavering support from those that meant the most to both of them. Mischief sparkled in their eyes briefly, then they both leaned forward to brush a kiss on either side of Kent's face, smiling greatly at the blush that followed their actions.
"Thank you, Kent," Charisma said sincerely as she met his eyes. He nodded and cleared his throat.
"You betcha," he replied with a smile. "Just remember you owe me an invitation to the wedding when it happens," he added as he dropped their hands and stood. "Gotta go - I'll be back tomorrow," and without another word, he saw himself out, not bothering to look back at the two flushed faces still sitting stunned at his parting words. Kay and Okasa looked at one another then immediately away in an effort to keep their laughter in check. After another moment, Okasa cleared her throat, forcing Brianna and Charisma to glance up at her. She noted they avoided each other's eyes though their hands had tightened convulsively around one another's. Kay spoke before Okasa could.
"Lighten up, you two. We all know it's going to happen eventually - but it's totally up to you when it happens though and how public it becomes."
Blue and green eyes flew to Kay's face, observing the smirk she wore. They couldn't help but chuckle at her words and demeanor, and with that, they relaxed. Okasa snorted.
"Now that we've got that settled, I need to know what you want to do about your trip to Europe in a couple months." Startled eyes jumped back to hers and she cocked an eyebrow. "Did you forget you asked me to take care of arranging that twenty years ago?"
"I didn't think...."
"I didn't expect...."
"Everything was taken care of years ago - except the flight. I decided to hold off on that in case you were both successful enough to travel first class this time." Her words garnered smiles all around and Okasa shrugged. It was the truth, if not the entire truth. "So you two need to talk and decide what you want to do."
Finally Brianna and Charisma looked at one another, holding their gazes for a long time before turning back to Okasa. "Yes, Mama," they replied in unison, knowing they would talk about it when they were alone. Okasa nodded.
"I'm going to go say goodnight to my grandson and then go to bed. It's been a long day."
Her words were like a catalyst, and everyone rose from their places and exchanged hugs, then watched Okasa head upstairs. Brianna turned back to Charisma. Charisma just covered her lips with a finger and shook her head; Brianna leaned her forehead against Charisma's and neither of them noticed when Kay slipped from the room to wait in the hall.
"Call me when you get home?"
"Of course," Brianna assured her, kissing the finger still resting lightly on her lips. Charisma shivered and closed her eyes. "Goodnight, Ri."
"Goodnight, Brianna Brianna."
Chapter CVII
When Esmeralda closed the door behind her guests, she did so with a melancholy smile on her face. It was the second time the four women had visited her as a group, and she appreciated their efforts on her behalf. Despite the fact that the growth in Brianna's and Charisma's relationship was exceptionally slow, it was good to see they *were* making progress at last... even if it only meant they had just reached the public handholding stage. At least it was something she could recognize as genuine headway. Still, it wasn't enough to alleviate her own sense of loss. What she had said to Kay at their first visit had been the absolute truth - it wasn't that she wanted to die... it was simply that she had no will to live. And the happiness and love they had brought into her life that day couldn't begin to touch the loneliness and despair that was the gaping maw where her heart and soul had once resided - a cavity that only grew a little greater every single day she was apart from Saphira.
She glanced at the calendar, noting with a hint of surprise that this second 'intervention visit' had been four months to the day since Saphira's passing. Esmeralda felt her hands start to shake as she raised them to cover her mouth. A few slow, deep breaths and the tears were pushed hack behind her eyelids again. In some ways it had been forever, and in others it felt like it had only just happened.
She locked up the house tightly, and crossed into their bedroom... her bedroom now, she supposed idly - closing the door and moving straight to the bathroom.
Even though spring had sprung and summer was literally roaring in with both barrels, Esmeralda never felt warm anymore. And the cooler air in the evenings tended to give her a genuine chill that made her shake down to her bones.
She ran the water as hot as she could stand it, sighing in relief when she stepped under the spray. Esmeralda stood there for long moments, letting the warmth flow over and around her until she felt the shivers subside. Then she bathed as quickly as she could, drying off and dressing in the overheated little room before stepping back into the cooler bedroom….
... only to stop short when she realized she was no longer alone in the house.
"Hello, Es," Amber offered as she folded her wings neatly behind her until only the feathered arches peeked over her shoulders. She opened her arms, stunned when Esmeralda didn't immediately move into her embrace. "Es?"
"Hello, Amber," Esmeralda replied coolly, clenching her jaw to keep the tears at bay once more.
"Es? Aren't you glad to see me?"
"Of course I am, Amber. I'm just not sure you're real. Unlike my earthly family that has kept in touch with me almost daily since Saphira's death, it feels as though my heavenly family deserted me for the last four months. I'm not convinced you're more than a figment of my rather vivid imagination." Her voice wasn't accusatory - it was resigned.
"Oh Es - this is the first time I've been able to get away. I badgered Michael until he secured permission for me to come." She sighed and her wings drooped behind her. "I've been trying to do like you asked," Amber said in a near-whisper. "I've been trying to stay out of trouble so I could be here when you truly needed me to be."
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