"Maybe not as much as you think," Brianna muttered, and then realized she'd spoken aloud.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Charisma demanded and Brianna could hear the frown in her voice.

Brianna sighed. Best to have it done with now, I suppose. "Charisma, I never lost touch with Okasa... or your family. They never mentioned it because no one wanted you to be uncomfortable about it."

"I see," Charisma said slowly, her tone sending a chill over the wires that Brianna felt in the depths of her soul. "Well then - it shouldn't be a problem for you to join us then. Now if you'll excuse me...."

"Charisma...."

"No, Brianna. I can't talk about this right now. I'll see you later." And she hung up the phone without giving Brianna a chance to say goodbye.

"Dammit!!" Brianna cursed as she jammed the speakerphone's off button. "That could have gone better." Then she turned back to her work. Despite everything that was suddenly complicating her personal life, Brianna still had a job to do. And even though she wanted to rush down to Charisma's office and straighten things out, she had a responsibility here that didn't allow it at the moment.

She could only cross her fingers and hope she got the opportunity to explain things later - and that Charisma would actually listen to what she had to say. Then Brianna sighed and got back to work.

************

Okasa looked at the phone receiver she held in her hand, waiting to see if it would catch fire after Charisma's call. When it didn't immediately, she placed it gently in the cradle and headed off to find Patrick. It seemed things were finally moving... and apparently, so were they.


Chapter XLVIII

"Gramma!" Adam exclaimed when Ame opened the door for Okasa and Patrick. Okasa grinned and bent down to pick Adam up, lifting him into her arms with a groan before crossing the threshold.

"My goodness... you're getting big, Little Man."

"Adam Mama's big boy," he proclaimed proudly. Patrick followed them in and set their bags just inside the door.

"You got a hug for your Pop Pop, boy?"

Adam squealed and reached, causing Okasa to wince and hand him over to Patrick. Without another word, Patrick took him Adam and headed towards the backyard. Ame knew Patrick would bundle Adam up before they went outside, so she picked up the bags and turned to Okasa. "Would you like to go with them? I can take your bags upstairs. The Senator called to have me prepare your room before she arrived."

"How angry was she?"

"Ma'am?" Ame knew what Okasa was asking, but she was going to make her actually ask the question if she wanted the answer. Okasa just gave her a look.

"Please don't prevaricate with me, Ame. I know how furious she was when she called me this morning. How angry was she when she called you?"

"Well, ma'am - I know she was very short and to the point when I spoke to her. But she wasn't angry... at least not with me. She sounded tired... and busy."

Okasa nodded. She'd expected as much - she'd actually expected worse. She had a feeling Charisma was more hurt than angry, and that was something she could work with. "I imagine she did. Thank you, Ame. I know you don't want to break any confidences, but I needed to know that."

"Can you fix it?" Ame asked, then blushed when Okasa's head snapped around to meet her eyes. Okasa stared at her for a long moment, then nodded at what she found and smiled. She opened the door Ame gestured to and took one of the bags from her hands.

"If she gives me a chance... yes. If she's already made up her mind? Probably not. Won't stop me from trying, though."

Ame nodded and set the second bag on the bed, then went to the door. "If there's nothing else...."

"Actually...." Okasa started. Ame turned back and waited. "I'd like to join you in the kitchen. Have you decided what's for dinner?"

"Adam asked for hamburgers and fries." She shrugged. "I actually haven't made those in a while, so I was going to do those."

"Sounds good. Can I help?"

Ame smiled. "Sure. You know where the kitchen is. I'll be in there if Patrick hasn't decided he needs rescuing before you get downstairs." Okasa snorted.

"Considering we don't see that boy as often as either of us would like, I think it's more likely that we'll need to drag them in for supper." Ame laughed and left while Okasa turned back to her unpacking.

************

Brianna was slumped over her desk with her head cradled in both hands when Esmeralda entered her office much later that evening. She rushed to Brianna's side, only to have Brianna look up at her as Esmeralda reached her side.

"Brianna?" she asked softly, recognizing the misery in her eyes. "What's wrong?"

Brianna blew out an exasperated breath. "Nothing a kick in the ass wouldn't cure," she muttered, her sadness turning to anger. Esmeralda backed up slightly and scratched the back of her neck awkwardly.

"I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it's not me you're angry with."

Brianna snorted. "Not even close, though I can be if you'd like me to add you to the list. Apparently, my stupidity knows no bounds today, so I could certainly add that to my list of dim-witted actions today." Esmeralda held out her hand, extending it a second time when Brianna hesitated. Brianna gave Esmeralda a wry smile and shook her head. "How do you do that?"

"Do what?" Esmeralda asked with a furrowed brow as they walked to the sofa and took seats in either corner.

"Make me feel better just by caring. I mean, I know you can't do anything to fix this or make it better, but I also know as surely as I'm sitting here that just sharing it with you will not only make me feel better, but will probably give me some insight on how to do something about it."

Esmeralda blinked. "Um... experience?" causing Brianna to laugh.

"See what I mean? I feel better already. I don't know what I would've done if I hadn't met you and Saphira that first night here. Talk about right place, right time."

"I'm glad, Brianna. We both are. Now why don't you tell me what's wrong?"

"Yeah - I'm trying to figure out where to start," rising and crossing to her mini-fridge. Without asking, she pulled out two chocolate milks. She tossed one to Esmeralda who grinned when she caught it, then shook hers, looking down carefully as she eased it open.

"I generally find the beginning to be a good choice," Esmeralda responded, giving a chuckle when Brianna stuck her tongue out. "Oh... before I forget, Saphira said we'd be pleased to join you if we won't be intruding."

"Well, that's a great segue," Brianna muttered as she returned to the couch, smiling wryly at Esmeralda's arched brow. She proceeded to tell Esmeralda what had occurred between her and Charisma earlier that day. "She needed to know... I understand that. But I probably could have found a better tack to take than just blurting it out like that." A pause. "I think I hurt her feelings," Brianna added in a much softer tone.

"You probably did," Esmeralda agreed bluntly. "But as you said - she needed to know, and better now than when you arrive and her brothers greet you like old family instead of acting like it's been years since they've seen you. I'm thinking she wouldn't take too kindly to being made a fool of like that."

"I think she already feels that way."

"Then you need to make her realize that wasn't the case at all." Esmeralda bit her lip thoughtfully. "Have you spoken to her mother?"

"Only briefly. Apparently Charisma called her the moment we were off the phone and pretty much ripped her a new one in the iciest calm and polite manner possible. She called me right after and said they were headed down... at Charisma's insistence."

"And have you talked to her?"

Brianna shook her head. "No - not since I faux pas'd this morning. She asked for a little bit of time to process - what could I say?" Brianna sighed deeply and rubbed a hand over her eyes. "Why do I let her do this to me? Why do I let her make me crazy? Why can't I just cut my losses and let her go?" the last whispered tearfully. Esmeralda gently took her hand.

"Because you love her, Brianna. That's reason enough."

Brianna chuckled, though there was a hint of a sob as well. "I guess it is."

"So what are you gonna do now?"

"Wait for her to call me, I guess," shaking her head when Esmeralda did. "No?"

"No," Esmeralda stated firmly. "Stop being so passive about this. If you want Charisma in your life again - even as simply a friend - then DO something about it, Brianna. Find that determination you had when I first met you. Stop giving Charisma all the control."

"That's going to cause a fight, you know."

"And the problem with that is...? Brianna, a little passion is not a bad thing... even in friendships. It brings vitality and excitement and enthusiasm. Otherwise things become lackluster and boring. And that just causes things to wither and die on the vine." Esmeralda took a deep breath and met Brianna's eyes. Brianna blinked, stunned by the fire that was sparking from Esmeralda's eyes. "Make a decision, Brianna, and stick with it. At least things will be resolved one way or the other for good and you can finally move forward... either with Charisma in your life or with her out of it forever."

"You make it sound so easy."

"It's only as difficult as you make it, Brianna. I've been where you are, remember."

"Yes, I remember - but I think yours was actually worse." Esmeralda shrugged but didn't comment. She knew what she thought, but she wasn't going to give voice to it. She figured she had gone as close to the line as she dared without crossing it. She wasn't going to push anymore.

They sat in silence for a long moment before Esmeralda realized Brianna was deep in thought. Without a word she rose and began her cleaning. Once again she was behind, but with any luck it would be worth it. In the meantime she had plenty to do.

She was almost finished when Brianna started from her brown study, suddenly realizing she was sitting alone in her semi-darkened office. Then she turned and saw Esmeralda packing away her cleaning supplies.

"Done already?" she asked, then glanced at her watch when Esmeralda smirked at her. "Holy shit!" she exclaimed, then slapped a hand over her mouth. "Sorry - I 'm trying to do better here at least."

"No worries, my friend," Esmeralda assured her with a smile. "But I need to get finished. I don't want to worry Saphira any more than necessary."

"Would you like a ride to the diner?"

"No, Brianna - thank you. I appreciate it, but I just can't." She held up a hand. "Before you ask.... For one thing, I can't keep accepting limo rides to the diner from you just on general principle. Trust me when I tell you that would cause you more grief and controversy than you suddenly getting a girlfriend. For another, I've still got work to do and you should probably go home and get some rest. I'd be willing to bet you've got a pretty good headache going again."

"How can you tell?"

"I recognize the signs."

Brianna nodded once and winced. "You're right. I'd like to hear more about the grief and controversy thing - I can't imagine offering a friend a ride could possibly be considered worse than me being a participatory lesbian." Esmeralda snorted and Brianna smirked. "Sorry - I like that better than practicing. That implies I'm still working on it and I feel confident I know what I'm doing."

Esmeralda laughed aloud. "That always makes for a much more pleasant experience for all involved. Now go home. You can worry about all this," motioning around the room, "tomorrow."

"Anybody ever tell you you're bossy?" Brianna grumbled, even as she rose to do Esmeralda's bidding.

"Saphira," Esmeralda offered deadpan. "Constantly."

"She'd be right," Brianna muttered, gathering her things and crossing to stand beside Esmeralda. "Thank you, Es. Thank you for the kick in the ass and for being my friend. I hope Saphira knows how lucky she is."

"She does - I remind her every day," Esmeralda said with a smirk. Brianna just laughed and gave Esmeralda a brief hug. Then she headed for the door, holding it and gesturing Esmeralda through ahead of her with a flourish.

"Goodnight, Es," she offered when they made it back out into the main hall.

"Goodnight, Senator Walker," eyes twinkling at the mock-glare that garnered her. "Sweet dreams."

************