Brianna smiled, glad the tears on her cheeks were hidden by the darkness of the room. "That sounds wonderful, Ri. But what of your dream of becoming President? What about that picture perfect family?"

"I told you that family thing was a far-off consideration for me, and I can always be President when I'm forty-five instead of forty."

"Yes, but you know and I know you have to be working on it now or it will be even later or never. You can't get cold feet about it now." She paused when Charisma blew a raspberry in her direction. "How about this? Why don't we plan to do this again - the whole trip from beginning to end - in twenty years? Unless you are President of course. If that's the case, we'll wait until your term's over."

"Why so long?" Charisma whined.

"Because it will take us that long to be able to afford to take three months out of our lives to do this again."

"I hate it when you make sense." She sighed. "All right. Twenty years from now we'll do this again. I'll ask Mama to make the arrangements with our travel agent when I get home. You just make sure you've got the time to take of from your writing career to be there."

"Careful there, Tagherty. You keep it up and I'll be the one writing the 'tell-all' book when you become President."

"Can you do that?? Isn't there some sort of best friend law against that?"

"Not if you keep calling me a writer there isn't."

"Very well, Brianna Walker, Esquire. I expect you to defend me from all comers then when the time comes."

"Yes, Madame President."

************

Their goodbye at the airport the following morning was bittersweet. Brianna was flying directly to law school while Charisma was headed home for a few days before reporting to Washington for the start of her internship. Brianna walked Charisma to her gate and opened her arms, gratified when Charisma stepped into the embrace without a moment's hesitation. The hug lasted for long moments, and they only removed themselves from it when the gate agent started calling for boarding of Charisma's flight.

"I've got to go," she said sadly.

"I know. I'm gonna miss you, cheerleader."

"I'll miss you too, playwright, so much."

They gazed at one another and Charisma started to pull away, turning towards her gate. Brianna held on, throwing caution to the wind and leaning forward to brush her lips against Charisma's. "I'll always love you, Ri. You're my very best friend in the whole world. I never had one of those before you came into my life. Thank you," she whispered, cupping her face tenderly for a minute before releasing Charisma from her touch and leaving without a backwards glance.

Charisma watched her go, then boarded the plane, skin still tingling where Brianna's essence lingered. She wondered why it felt like a forever goodbye.

************

Charisma was right of course - it was a forever goodbye. Brianna realized what was between the two of them and refused to force Charisma to choose. Part of her decision was based in fear - she couldn't bear to see pity or disgust in Charisma's eyes? or worse, a failure to acknowledge the truth. The other part however, was done out of a desire to spare Charisma the agony of deciding between her heart and her mind; her best friend and her career.

Instead, Brianna made the choice and slipped from Charisma's radar with an ease that belied the strength of the ties that bound them together. And Charisma, unwilling to acknowledge her feelings to herself or anyone else, let her go without a fight.

Okasa and Paddy watched helplessly, unable to do more than stand aside and see the two women grow estranged by their own choice. Brianna had demanded they stay out of it, threatening to cut off all contact with them if they didn't. So reluctantly, if only to maintain contact with one they had grown to love as their own, they remained silent but ever hopeful. Until the day Charisma brought Kent Rockwell home.


Chapter VII

Before I take you back to present day Charisma Tagherty, I think I need fill in a few of the blanks.

When Brianna and Charisma returned to the States, Brianna took steps to distance herself from Charisma. The first involved a visit to the Tagherty home as soon as she knew Charisma was in Washington.

************

Okasa opened the door at Brianna's knock, a wide, welcoming smile on her face as she ushered the younger woman inside. "Brianna? this is an unexpected surprise. Come in, come in," opening her arms for a hug. Brianna was happy to oblige, holding onto Okasa tightly and rocking her gently. Okasa felt the trembling in Brianna's frame and pulled back slightly so she could look the younger woman in the eye.

"Brianna? What's wrong, sweetheart?"

Brianna took a deep breath and steadied herself. She had sworn she wouldn't cry, but she'd never expected it to hurt this much. "Can we sit down?"

"Of course, of course. Can I get you something to drink?"

"No, thank you, Mama O. I'm not going to be here very long. I just? I came to say goodbye."

Okasa blinked. "Um? okay. Where are you going and when will you be back?" heart sinking at the look in Brianna's eyes. She suddenly understood what Brianna was saying, but she shook her head against the truth she knew was coming.

"I'm not coming back, Mama O."

Okasa took Brianna by the arm and seated her on the couch, immediately taking a place beside her. She covered Brianna's hands and gazed at her for a long moment, seeing an aching sadness peering back at her. "Talk to me, Little Bri. What's going on?"

"Nothing's going on, Mama. It's just time for me to grow up and I can't?." She trailed off when Okasa shook her head furiously.

"Don't lie to me, Brianna Walker. I know how you feel about Charisma. I've seen it in your eyes? in your actions. And I know how she feels about you."

"Then you know why I have to do this, Okasa."

"No I don't. What you have...."

"What we have Charisma will never acknowledge. She can't... not and be the person she needs to be for her own peace of mind."

"What about her happiness?"

"I don't think they're mutually exclusive. But I'm not willing to hang around and watch her pull away and become more distant because I can no longer hide how I feel. Or worse, have her continue on with her life acting as though nothing is different. I love her, Mama, but I'm not going to become a martyr because of it."

"Brianna, you're not being fair. You're not giving her the chance to choose."

"Okasa, I'm not disappearing from the face of the planet. If she wants to find me, she'll be able to. I'm just taking myself out of the mainstream of her life."

"I'll talk to he...."

"NO! No, Okasa. You and Patrick and the boys have to stay out of this. I mean it - stay out of this or I will disappear. She figures things out on her own or she doesn't - either way it needs to be her decision."

"If we stay out of it, you'll keep in touch?"

"Yes." Brianna took a deep breath and Okasa could see exactly what the decision was costing her. She silently cursed the foolishness and folly of youth, but marveled at Brianna's determination. "I don't want to lose any of you, Mama O. You've become more my family than my family ever was. I'm just can't stand in her way, Mama, and I don't know how much longer I can pretend."

"Can I ask what changed? Brianna, you were roommates for four years. You just spent three months in each other's back pockets touring around Europe."

"Exactly - I just spent three months coming to the realization that I can never have the one thing? the one person? that makes me happy despite everything. I need some space from her, Mama."

"And once you have the space?"

"I can learn how to be happy without her."

"And if she comes looking for you?"

Brianna couldn't stop the tears from coming to her eyes, but she kept them from rolling down her face. She smiled sadly, biting her lip before shaking her head at Okasa. "She won't, Okasa."

"You're sure."

"Yeah. She loves me, but she can't love me. So she'll let me go. It makes everything easier."

"I think you're wrong."

"I hope you're right, Mama O."

************

Of course, Brianna was right. But she was also true to her word and kept in touch with the Tagherty family, spending time with them when Charisma wasn't around. It was sometimes difficult trying coordinate their schedules, but when it became clear that Brianna had been correct about Charisma's reaction, Okasa was determined to ensure Brianna didn't lose touch with them.

At Okasa's request and because she couldn't seem to walk away completely, Brianna sent cards and letters to Charisma in care of Okasa. She trusted Mama O not to open them, but to give them to Charisma if the day ever came that she asked after Brianna - or if the right set of circumstances ever presented themselves. Okasa kept them in a locked box in her closet, hoping that one day Charisma would talk about Brianna or ask if Okasa ever heard from her. But she never did.

So while the Tagherty family shared their lives and holidays with Charisma, they also made an effort to do the same with Brianna. Without Charisma's presence they celebrated holidays and birthdays together on odd weekends, and Brianna fell more in love with the family she had come to appreciate as her own. Sometimes it hurt so much to be with them, but Brianna treasured the time she was able to spend with them.

And so life went on.

Brianna finished law school at the top of her class, and was immediately snapped up by the most prestigious firm in the city. She spent inordinate amounts of time making a name for herself, and soon she was as respected and feared outside of the courtroom as much as she was in it.

When the District Attorney approached her to join his office, she chuckled wryly. "Are you sure you want to work with someone from the dark side?"

He laughed, appreciating her cutting sense of humor in a way that many didn't understand. "Ms Walker, if I could lure you from the dark side, I wouldn't be facing you across the aisle in the courtroom. What better incentive could I possibly need?"

"And what's in it for me? I am exceptionally good at what I do and I am paid very lucratively for it. Why would I want to give it all up to become a public servant?"

"Because beneath that cutthroat demeanor beats the heart of a poet. I read the play you produced in college," he continued in answer to her startled look. "It was exceptional." He cleared his throat. "You have an eighty-six percent win ratio in court; ninety-seven if you include the deals made outside it. With those stats, you could have my job in a few years if you really wanted it. And you could use it as a stepping stone to other, bigger things - judge, state representative, even Congress."

The mention of Washington made her eye twitch slightly and the man watching her didn't miss her reaction. But he hadn't gotten to his position by being stupid - he knew when to push and when to back off. "Think about it, Ms Walker. You could do great things."

Brianna didn't take his offer immediately. She had no desire to do more than be the best lawyer she could; she certainly had no desire to end up in Washington - not with all the effort she'd put into staying out of Charisma Tagherty's life.

Still, the District Attorney was persistent and eventually Brianna gave in, becoming a rising star in his office before being appointed by him as his successor. That was when she started to really come into her own.

Meanwhile, Charisma had done her internship in Washington, making a number of contacts and impressing the hell out of those she came in contact with. It didn't take long for the party to take notice of her and soon they were grooming her for a position in Congress.

Charisma missed Brianna's presence in her life, but she had reconciled herself to the fact that for whatever reason, Brianna had said goodbye forever when she'd walked out of her life at the end of their trip. She'd decided to wait for Brianna to contact her again, not delving too deeply into the reason she was willing to let Brianna go so easily.

She wanted to ask her mother about Brianna - sure in the depths of her being that Okasa would never allow Brianna to simply leave the family, no matter what excuse she used. But Charisma had no desire to have her mother question the reasons behind her estrangement from Brianna - not sure she had answers to share and unwilling to look deep enough to find anything that might satisfy Okasa.