"I'm sorry I missed that," Charisma offered quietly.

Okasa nodded, offering absolution. "We understand, Charisma. We always have. It's why we welcomed Brianna into our home and into our family all those years ago. And why we'll let her walk away from us now."

"Mama?"

"You needed us to make her part of the family. She needs us to let her go."

"I don't want to," Charisma whispered, her distress evident.

Okasa smiled sadly. "Neither do I... none of us do. But it's probably for the best." She turned and faced Charisma, then lifted a hand and cupped Charisma's cheek and tenderly wiped away the tear that spilled from blue eyes.

"How can you say that, Mama?"

"Call it mother's intuition, Charisma. Brianna's lived with this knowledge for a very long time. Maybe with some space from all of us, she'll be able to find some peace for herself."

"So I get a couple weeks to assimilate this whole thought-altering concept that by your own admission she's had years to deal with and she gets to go off to find peace?? How's that's supposed to be fair?!?" Charisma's outrage was overriding her anguish at the way her life was falling apart around her. Okasa shook her head and pulled Charisma's face towards her until she could brush a kiss over her forehead. Charisma squeezed her eyes shut tighter, recalling Brianna performing the same act of forgiveness the night before.

"Oh, Sweetheart - I never said anything about it being fair. Life generally isn't. Besides, it wasn't really that thought-altering for you, was it?? The only alteration to your thinking is that now you have confirmation of what you've always known in your heart. It's just at the forefront of your mind instead of something you can dismiss as your imagination... or wishful thinking."

Charisma's jaw dropped, but she was unable to formulate a response before Okasa kissed her again, then turned and left the room. The shower was running in the guest bath before she pulled herself together and started picking up the things in the family room. By the time Okasa returned, dressed and ready to leave, Charisma had pulled herself together and rejected Okasa's words as frivolous.

"Are you sure you need to rush off, Mama? I could take some time...."

"I'm sure. I know you have things to take care of. I expect you home in a few days," waiting for Charisma to nod. "And you think about what I said," deflating slightly when she saw Charisma had already dismissed her statements as inconsequential.

"Drive home safely, Mama," Charisma offered, giving Okasa a hug and walking her to the door.

"Goodbye, Daughter. See you soon. I love you."

"I know, Mama. I love you too." She waited for Okasa to get into her car and roll towards the gate. Then she shut the door and headed upstairs to get ready for her day, painstakingly avoiding even a glance at the study. She would deal with that later.


Chapter LXXIII

Brianna stretched out on the bed with a sigh of contentment. Notwithstanding the fact that she knew she was running away again, the only feeling she could dredge up about it this time was one of peace. She was tired and she felt as though she'd been buffeted by hurricane force winds for the last few months. At least before, tempestuous hadn't meant she got beaten black and blue on a daily basis. And that's how she felt - in the very depths of her soul. She felt like she'd been beaten with a stick every day since accepting the appointment as interim Senator. She'd expected it to be hard - she hadn't expected it to be deadly.

And despite how melodramatic that sounded, it was how she felt - like she was dying inch by slow inch. Brianna took a deep breath. She hadn't even realized she was suffocating... drowning... until she left... until she arrived in Dubai and felt everything slip from her shoulders. She'd have to remember to do something really nice for Indi - this had been a spectacular choice.

Brianna turned to look at her view and smiled when a school of fish swam past her room. Who knew you could have an underwater panorama if you chose the right resort to visit? She clicked on the flat-screen and perused the choices of activities at the resort. And for the first time in months, felt her creative juices stirring. She might be able to get a novel or two out of this adventure.

But first she needed to call Esmeralda. She had promised to keep in touch, and being half a world away wasn't going to change that.

************

"Brianna - you didn't have to call me from Dubai," Esmeralda said with a tiny laugh. "I can certainly understand wanting to get away from the snow and the cold for a while. I definitely would too, given the opportunity… even without the extenuating circumstances."

"You don't think I'm a coward, Es?"

"Brianna - what I think shouldn't matter. Do you think you're a coward?"

Brianna sighed. "I think I'm tired, Es. I've tried everything I know to try."

"Then take a break, Brianna. Maybe you'll come back with a fresh outlook."

"Maybe I'll finally be able to put it to rest once and for all."

"Maybe," Esmeralda said as noncommittally as she could manage. "I guess this means we won't be seeing you around Christmas though, huh?"

"Not this year, Es. But is there anything I can bring you back from here?"

"Just yourself home safely, Brianna. I'll miss having you around to talk to while you're gone."

Brianna chuckled. "I'll still call you every few days, Es. The phones work here just like they do in Washington. And you have my number if anything comes up, right?"

"I do."

"All right. I'll talk to you in a couple days then, okay?"

"Have a good time, Brianna. Take some pictures and relax."

"I will - talk to you soon."

"Be happy, Brianna."

"Bye, Es."

************

"Es, this is Charisma."

"Hey Charisma! How are you enjoying the break?" having a fairly good idea after hearing about things from Indi and Coral especially, but wondering what Charisma would offer as her truth.

"Staying busy - for some reason the holidays don't mean less work... just different," smiling when she got a chuckle from Esmeralda. "How about you, Es? Are you getting some rest?"

"I'm becoming a spoiled lady of leisure," Esmeralda responded lightly. "I haven't felt this good since... I'm not sure I've ever felt this good actually. I feel almost made over."

"That's wonderful, Es... just amazing. I guess Saphira is thrilled with the turnaround?"

Esmeralda laughed. "I'm pretty sure that's an understatement, Charisma. I haven't seen her this relaxed in a long time - like she's carrying a much lighter burden."

"She is, Es, and Mama will be happy to hear it for both of your sakes. She asks about you every time we talk." Charisma wavered a moment, then pushed on. "Will you be joining us for Christmas?" She almost felt Esmeralda's eyes widen in shock. "You're family now, you know."

"Oh Charisma - that's... it's wonderful of you to say so, but I don't think we can. Even if we had a way to get there, I don't see how we could go this year. Saphira is picking up as many extra shifts as Matilda will let her have, and I wouldn't leave her here by herself even if it was an option for me. But I appreciate the thought... we both do. Make sure to give the family our love, won't you?"

"You know I will," Charisma assured her with a smile that could be heard over the phone. "I expected that answer, but I promised Mama I'd ask. Don't be surprised if I come by the day after with a truckload of stuff for you both though. You know how Mama is."

"I do indeed. You're very lucky."

"Mama reminds me of that all the time," Charisma snorted. Esmeralda laughed again. "Listen Es," Charisma said before the silence could become uncomfortable. "Do you by any chance... have you been in touch with Brianna lately?"

Esmeralda sighed. She'd wondered if she would get out of this unscathed, then shook her head. She should have known better. "Um... yeah - she called me yesterday. Said she'd had enough of the cold and snow and was gonna spend a little time in the sun before Congress resumed in January."

"You didn't happen to ask where she was did you?"

"No... it didn't occur to me to ask," not mentioning she hadn't needed to since Brianna had freely shared the information with her. "Why? Is something wrong, Charisma?"

"What? No - she asked me for a copy of something," looking at the picture of the two of them at Trevi Fountain. It made Charisma want to cry, but she took a deep breath to fortify her nerves - she'd promised Brianna a copy and she was damn well going to deliver despite everything. "But I haven't been able to reach her so we could plan a time for me to get it to her. I tried calling her, but...." A pause. "Do you know if she called you from her cell phone?"

"I don't know, Charisma. I didn't ask. I assumed she did." When silence met her answer, Esmeralda pushed a little, having a very good idea what Charisma was talking about. "Charisma, is it something you could send to her by email?"

"Not really... I mean, I guess I could if I had to. But at the moment it's just a hard copy item."

"Is it something you could scan in or is it like a book?"

Charisma sucked in another deep breath then covered her mouth, pressing hard against her lip to keep the tears at bay. She cleared her throat. "No... it's something I could scan in. It's a picture we had taken together - when we were in Rome years ago."

"Well, if it's important enough that it can't wait for her to return from her trip, maybe you could scan a copy in and send it to her by email. You can always give her a hard copy once she returns," knowing that it was more than important... to both of them.

Charisma slowly released the breath she'd been holding and nodded her head even though Esmeralda couldn't see her reaction. "I suppose I could do that. I may have to make a few phone calls first, though," she added as an aside.

"Charisma?" Esmeralda's voice rising almost as much as her eyebrows.

Charisma gave her a deprecating chuckle. "Es, I turn the computer on and I turn the computer off. For everything else, I have interns and personal assistants." She shook her head. "Sometimes I have interns and personal assistants for that too actually, come to think of it," she added drolly.

Esmeralda laughed. "Well, Charisma - I know your staff is supposed to be on vacation. So if you can't figure it out and you can't get ahold of someone, you let me know. I'll come by and give you a hand."

"You'd do that? Es, that's so sweet. I'll tell you what - is Saphira working tomorrow?"

"Yes, of course."

"How about if I pick you both up about nine-thirty? You can come over and share brunch with me, and if I haven't figured out how to scan this thing in by then, you can help me figure it out... or show me how to do it. Whatever works. We can drop Saphira off at the diner on our way back to your house."

"Are you sure?"

Charisma frowned. "What do you mean am I sure?? Of course I'm sure. So it's a date?"

"You bet, Charisma... it's a date."

************

"The house seems so quiet without Adam," Saphira commented when they were ensconced in Charisma's study after brunch the following day. Esmeralda glared at her and Saphira shrugged. "What?? It's the truth. I miss my little buddy."

Charisma laughed. "It is. And I'm sure he misses you too - my mother still hasn't cured him of streaking through the house naked yet."

"Tell her to turn the heat off," Esmeralda instructed seriously. "After about the third time, that one was cured," gesturing to Saphira who gave an incredulous looking Charisma her best sheepish grin.

"What??" she asked again. "We were all born naked - it's a perfectly natural state."

"So is snow and ice - it doesn't mean I want it parading through the house in the middle of winter. Especially when we've got people living with us... even if they are family."

Charisma blinked and shook her head. "You two continue to confound me, honestly," meeting the twin looks of disbelief that gazed back at her. "What? I'm not kidding. You're both so different from anyone I've ever met. I'm sure I've never known a couple like the two of you."

"Not even in your family?"

Charisma shook her head. "Not even - it's not that they're not all happily married and don't love each other, but you two seem like such a part of one another. It's just... it's hard to describe. But it's very different from anything I've ever known."