"What happened?"

Okasa shook her head. "I don't have the details. You'll have to ask Brianna or Charisma to share them. All I know is that Brianna called me a few days ago and said goodbye," tears flooding her eyes, though she blinked rapidly to prevent them from spilling over.

"Whaddya mean - she said goodbye?? Like...."

"Like she was leaving and wouldn't be back."

"Do you know where she went?"

Okasa shook her head again. "She didn't say. She basically indicated that she was severing all ties with us, and that we needed to let her go. She even removed me from her visitor's list at her apartment building."

"Wow... okay. So why didn't you call me immediately??"

"And ruin your holiday too? Kay, there's nothing you could have done... nothing you can do now. Brianna would have called you if she'd wanted you to do something, and I'm guessing that she didn't. Charisma told me she had been in touch with Esmeralda, but apparently she needs some space from the rest of us. Because she hasn't taken any of our calls."

Kay bit her lip. "She didn't take mine either, come to think of it. She returned it, but she didn't answer when I called her."

"At least she returned yours," Okasa said painfully. "She's basically excised the entire Tagherty clan from her life."

"You're wrong, you know," Kay said fiercely as she stood a little straighter. "There is something I can do now."

"Please don't," Okasa asked. "She's been through enough."

Kay snorted. "She hasn't been through anything she didn't bring on herself, Mama O. And this time she's dragging us all along with her. It's time everyone stops pandering to her and someone sets her straight... so to speak."

"You really think she'll take it well from you, Kay?"

"Okasa, I don't think she's going to take it *well* from anyone. But the fact is, I'm about the only one both willing and able to speak on the subject. I'm not particularly worried about the fallout and I warned her to be careful with Brianna."

"You did? When?" Okasa shook her head. "I mean obviously it must have been at Thanksgiving, but how did I miss it?"

"Things were a little hectic around here, Mama O."

"I guess. I just...." Okasa met Kay's eyes and held them, wanting her to see the truth. "Kay, I love Brianna like my own, you know that. But Charisma...."

"Charisma what?" queried a voice from the doorway. Blue eyes looked between them and flashed anger and something much deeper before she pinned Kay with her stare. "Charisma what, Mama?"

"Charisma...."

"I think you and I should take this outside, Charisma," Kay said without missing a beat. "Get your things and we'll take a walk."

"Is that an order?"

"More like a forceful invitation... unless you'd prefer to air your dirty laundry to all and sundry here. And somehow, I don't think you're ready for that - even if your husband isn't among those present."

"Leave him out of this!" Charisma said softly from between clenched teeth.

"But of course. It's not like he's a part of much where you're concerned, is he? Now fetch your coat. It's time we talked."


Chapter LXXVI

"So I'm guessing this is another one of those traditions that I haven't been privy to," Charisma commented once she and Kay were well away from the Tagherty house. They had left by the front door and made their way down the street towards the neighborhood park in silence. Charisma had used that time to collect herself. She released a deep breath and forced herself to relax.

"You could say that," Kay said as they stepped onto the playground. "I'll admit I was a little surprised to see you here," her voice calm and level. "I mean, for the better part of twenty years you've never been anywhere near here after Christmas. So why are you here now, Charisma? Shouldn't you be somewhere putting in an appearance or...?"

Charisma shrugged. As furious as she was at Kay for her presumption, she really couldn't fault her for her concern. And she appreciated that Kay had the foresight to remove them from the house before beginning their discussion. Because judging by the look on Kay's face and the gnawing in Charisma's belly, this had the potential to get very ugly. "Kent had to get back to the city - the theatre never stops, you know. So I decided to take a few days off to spend with the family here. I've been so busy running the circuit this recess that I've had very little time to just sit and regroup." She chuckled lightly. "Despite everything, I miss time with my brothers and their families."

"So it's just coincidence that you're here when Brianna usually joins your family for the holiday?"

"What's that supposed to mean?" bitingly.

"It's a simple question, Senator. Why are you getting so defensive about it?"

Charisma stopped walking and whirled to face Kay, her eyes blazing with a myriad of emotions. "Excuse me?? Just who exactly do you think you are?" feeling her composure fly right out the proverbial window. "What gives you the right...?"

"I'll tell you who I am, Senator. I am the woman who loved Brianna Walker... even though it was never enough to exorcise your ghost. Part of me will always love her, and that part recognizes the importance of your place in her heart and life. That gives me the right! The fact that you've caused Brianna to leave *my* family... HER family... gives me the right!"

"MY family."

"Hers as well, Charisma. You made her part of it, remember? And now you've taken it away again."

"Wait just a damn minute!"

"For what, Senator??" Kay's voice was a calm, cool counterpoint to Charisma's heat. "Are you going to stand there and tell me her leaving wasn't the direct result of her interaction with you? Because I know better. For twenty years you've been out of her immediate circle and she's been part of all of our lives," motioning around her. "Then suddenly you're back and she walks away from everyone... EVERYONE!" Kay huffed impatiently, then took a deep breath. "She would never have said goodbye to Mama O if she hadn't been pushed into it. She's called the Taghertys family for nearly a quarter century, Charisma - that isn't something she would have walked away from voluntarily."

"So of course it has to be my fault! She bears no responsibility at all for her actions - is that what you're telling me??"

"Of course she bears responsibility for her actions... but only some of it. Some of the responsibility and blame for this fiasco lies squarely on your shoulders, Senator, and it's high time you faced up to that fact! You're both culpable here!"

Charisma narrowed her eyes. "You've got a lot of nerve."

Kay shoved her clenched hands into her pockets to keep from doing something monumentally stupid... like shake some sense into a deliberately obtuse United States Senator. She couldn't remember the last time she had struggled so hard to maintain her sense of self-control. Another deep breath, and she spoke calmly again. "I'm going to say something to you, Charisma, and you're going to listen. What you do with the information after that is your own business, but I'm going to tell you something that no one else... not even Brianna... is willing to say to you, because no one wants to put you on the spot or make you uncomfortable or hurt your feelings." Kay cocked her head and regarded Charisma steadily, not surprised to see anger and contempt as the chief emotions reflected back at her.

But it was Kay's job to read people, and she could see so much more in Charisma's eyes. She saw pain and fear and longing, and Kay had to wonder how Charisma could deny such strong emotions. Brown eyes held blue for a long moment and Kay could see Charisma's desire to squirm, but she held firm.

"But you'd take great delight in that wouldn't you, Dr. Williams?" Charisma's words and tone were biting and she steadfastly refused to refer to Kay more familiarly. Kay tilted her head and regarded Charisma thoughtfully.

"Why do you think that, Senator?" offering Charisma the same professional courtesy that had been extended to her, though for different reasons. "Wait," holding up a hand. "I want you to really think about your answer. I want to know why you believe I would get some sort of perverse pleasure out of seeing you in pain."

"Not just seeing," Charisma spat.

Kay's eyes widened. "You think I like *causing* you pain?"

"You already said as much," Charisma said, her timbre suddenly flat and without the slightest hint of inflection.

"No," Kay disputed. "That's not what I said at all." She looked around and spotted a snow-covered bench set under some denuded trees. She gestured with her head. "Would you like to walk around the park or shall we sit for this conversation? I think it's safe to say we're not going to be overheard or interrupted either way," holding her hand out to catch the snowflakes that had just begun to fall.

"I'm fairly certain my wants aren't going to figure into this at all. We might as well walk - at least we'll be warmer." Kay nodded and they set off across the cleared path.

Silence reigned again for a few moments as Kay gathered her thoughts once more. Charisma stayed quiet, refusing to start a discussion she didn't even want to have. The only reason she hadn't left was because she was confident that this woman... this doctor... would follow her to Washington to have this conversation if need be. And as much as she had no desire to hear or interest in hearing what Kay had to say, she wanted her saying it in Washington even less. That town had ears everywhere, and Charisma had the distinct impression that whatever Kay had to say, it was not meant for public consumption. Finally Kay took a deep breath and started to speak.

"First of all - my goal here is not to cause you pain, Charisma. My goal is to be completely honest with you... something everyone around you is afraid to do because they want to protect you... even if it's from yourself. Please let me finish," Kay requested. "I promise I will listen to any rebuttal you would like to make or answer whatever questions you have when I'm done." Charisma clamped her lips together and nodded, crossing her arms over her chest and waiting.

"Thank you. Charisma - you're already in pain. You have been for a very long time... probably since Brianna first left and you realized she wasn't coming back to you." Kay shook her head. "You've been in pain so long, it's become the norm for you - it's one reason you're holding onto it so tightly. It's been your most faithful companion."

"What would you know about it?" Charisma grumbled quietly, as though to herself. Kay smiled sadly.

"I do this for a living, Charisma; I see other peoples' pain every day. But your pain is familiar to me - for as long as I've known her I've seen your pain reflected in the eyes of one I love." Kay waited, but Charisma remained silent and she recognized that Charisma was making an effort to abide by their earlier pact. "Charisma, I want you to be honest with yourself and honest with me. There's no one here to hear us, and everything you say to me will be held in the strictest confidence of doctor/patient privilege. No one - not Okasa, not Kent and not Brianna - no one will know what is said between us unless you decide to share it."

"Even though you're not actually my doctor?"

"Even then - I take my oath very seriously, Charisma." Charisma held Kay's eyes a long moment, then nodded and gestured for her to continue. "How do you feel about Brianna Walker, Charisma?"

"I love her," through clenched teeth. "She's my best friend."

"That's all?"

"Isn't that enough?"

"Completely honest, Charisma. You hate her a little bit too, don't you? For putting you into this position - for leaving you alone and forcing you to live without her... despite everything."

"NO!" A beat. "Yes," in a much more subdued tone. "I just...." Charisma uncrossed her arms and jammed her hands into her pockets so hard Kay fully expected to see them come clean through the material. She waited, but Charisma didn't say anything else. She merely compressed her lips together a little tighter than before. Kay sighed.

"I'm going to tell you some things, Charisma - some truths that I think you know but are unwilling to face. It's probably going to hurt you to hear them, but they need to be said."

"No."

"Excuse me?"

"No, they don't need to be said."

"I think they do. The only way you're going to purge the pain you've carried with you for twenty years... the only way you're going to find real happiness and a measure of peace... is to lance the wound that is still festering in your heart."