Megan Smith - Hard To Love You

Lily puts the shaker down and says quietly, “I just wanted to say that I was sorry for that shit I pulled a few months back. Brittany got in my head.” That explained a lot right there. “She thought I could try and pull what she did to MacKenzie and Dominic. The crazy bitch wanted me to blame this,” she points to her stomach “on you. I told her I couldn’t do that and you weren’t the one I wanted anyway. Brittany said there was no way that I could break up MacKenzie and Hunter and you were the next best thing.”

“Fuck.” I cursed.

“Exactly. I wasn’t thinking straight. Hailey walked in while I was buying the test and I thought that was a sign or something.” She shakes her head. “It was a sign to run like hell away from crazy. But then the panic set in and I went with it. Later that night you showed up at the bar. I was at the bar to tell Pat I was pregnant but then I saw you and needed to apologize. I didn’t want Pat to know what I did so I asked you to dance. You were trashed, Mason. I went with my gut. I knew deep down Pat would never want this baby. I told him when you stumbled into the bathroom. He did exactly what I thought he would. He told me to have an abortion; an abortion Mason, all because he didn’t want to leave his perfect life behind. He stormed out and left me in a panic. Brittany’s voice was in my head, ‘Pin it on Mason. He’s your ticket out of this mess.’ So I took you home that night and pretended that we slept together.”

I take my baseball hat off and set it on the table. So many emotions are running rampantly through my head and it feels like it’s going to explode. My first thought is that Brittany needs to be stopped; she can’t keep fucking people’s lives up. Someone should have turned her ass over to the police for running MacKenzie off the road. Next, Lily is as bad as Brittany for following through with Brittany’s plan. What kind of twisted fucking mind game is she playing? She ruined Hailey and I. Destroyed us. And Pat, what the fuck? He knocks someone up and now doesn’t want to deal with the consequences? If he was so worried about screwing up his perfect family maybe he should have kept his dick in his pants. Now he’s gone and knocked someone up.

“Say something, Mason.” Lily whispered.

I knew well enough from my sister’s pregnancy that Lily shouldn’t be this upset; it’s not good for her or the baby. “You fucked up, Lily, and I don’t know what you want from me. Haven’t you caused enough God damn drama in my life?”

“I didn’t actually think Hailey would believe me, Mason. I thought you two had what MacKenzie and Hunter had. I’m sorry.”

Had, the key word. Lily was the straw that broke the camel’s back. “Our relationship wasn’t as strong as everyone thought, Lily. Your scheme exploited the weaknesses between us that we had been avoiding. In a way I should thank you for fast tracking an end that was inevitable. I just always assumed Hailey and I could work through whatever problems we faced, but I was wrong.”

Lily sniffs. “I’m sorry Mason. I’ve fucked up and I don’t have a clue as to what I’m going to do. I don’t know how to take care of a baby.” Lily starts to cry. I reach over, grab a napkin and hand it to her. I have no idea why I’m even still sitting here talking to her. I should have left the second she told me it wasn’t mine but I needed to stay and hear her out. I’m not a cold hearted bastard.

Lily takes a minute to compose herself. “Pat doesn’t want anything to do with us. I was stupid to think he would leave his wife for us.”

“I don’t know how to help you Lily but I think you need to turn your life around.” I barely even know Lily aside from the fact that she gets around. I have no advice to offer her.

Lily wipes her nose and sits back to rub her stomach. “I know you don’t Mason, and it’s not your problem but I just wanted to tell you the truth about everything that happened.”

The truth. “There are a few things I need the truth about Lily.”

She nods.

“Did Cooper really sleep with Brittany?”

Lily’s eyebrows raise, “You still haven’t talked to him about it?”

I roll my eyes. “We’ve talked but he doesn’t really remember much of that night and possibly causing a rift in my family isn’t on the top of my list of priorities.”

“Brittany was stuck on Coop for a long time. Logan tried to talk to her about it. Told her she needed to get over it and move on. She couldn’t get over that night years ago.”

I ask a couple of questions that have been burning me up. I need answers, the pieces to the puzzle. “How did she know Dominic and MacKenzie were together? Why would she go after him if she wanted Cooper?”

Lily reaches for another napkin and starts ripping it into pieces. “Logan told her that Cooper’s sister MacKenzie was coming to college at ODU. Logan thought maybe she could talk to MacKenzie and get on better terms with Cooper, that way she could move on. You know, needing to put that shit to bed.”

Anger sets in, “But she couldn’t do that right? She had to try and pay him back through my sister by messing up her relationship with Dominic. She’s a spiteful bitch.”

Lily nods, “Right, but then she fell for Dominic and he only wanted her for a good time, so she trapped him, as you know, by saying she was pregnant. Just like I tried to do to you. I didn’t know any of this until a few weeks ago, when Brittany got drunk and had diarrhea of the mouth. She spilled everything Mason; her obsession with Cooper, wanting Dominic, and running MacKenzie’s car off the side of the road. I had no idea she was that fucking crazy.”

She has no idea. “How did you meet her anyway?”

Lily pushes all the pieces of the napkin together in a circle, “We tended bar together and got talking one night. Just my luck that she knew all of you, huh?”

“You have horrible luck.” I deadpan.

Lily smiles, “You got that right.”

There is a silence that falls over us. I feel bad for Lily, but in a way I don’t. She’s not my responsibility. I have my own problems that I need to fix.

I reach in my pocket and turn on my cell phone so I can check the time. “Well thanks for being honest about everything but I’ve gotta get going.” I slide out of the booth. “See ya around.”

“Bye Mason.”

I walk towards the door, forgetting all about the pizza I ordered.

“Hey buddy. You forgot your slices.” The little, old, Italian guy behind the counter says.

“They are for the girl in the last booth.” I yell over my shoulder while running to my car. I’m on a mission to get something I want and nothing is going to stop me.

A week later, after being very demanding, I’m a proud owner of my first house. It is perfect, only thing missing is my sexy little blonde making it our home.

The second house that I saw was the one I had to have, as I pulled into the driveway for the first time it instantly felt like home. It’s a bungalow crafted house with an attached two car garage. The exterior is tan with a half wrap around porch. Floor to ceiling windows are all along the first floor of the house and there is a screened-in back porch and a patio that leads off that. The house is surrounded by weeping willow trees that block out the rest of the neighborhood. There are four bedrooms and three and a half baths, plenty of room for a family; a family, who would have thought that I, Mason Cahill, would ever be dreaming about settling down. There are hardwood floors down throughout the house, the kitchen and bathrooms are tiled. The family room is spacious and open and has a fireplace nestled into the corner of the room. The kitchen is modern, with a granite counter, dark cherry wood cabinets and all stainless steel appliances. A window above the kitchen sink overlooks the back yard. The master bed has its own bathroom with a tub big enough to fit two and a stand up shower off to the side. His and her sinks too. There is a walk-in closet that has built in shelves and plenty of clothes racks. The other three rooms are similar, big open spaces, plenty of room and each has its own walk in closet. And to top it off there is a man cave downstairs.

I’m going all in, one more time.

“Hailey?”

I try to turn over but my body aches. I groan as I try to sit up.

“What the hell are you doing sleeping in the bath tub, doll face?” Zeke holds out a hand, offering his assistance to help me up.

I reach up and grab a hold of it. “What time is it?” I place one foot flat on the floor. “I can’t feel my ass.” I raise my other foot and plant it on the floor next to my other one. My back screams as I try to stand up straight. Damn! It was a bad idea sleeping in there.

Zeke sees me struggling; he bends at the waist and throws me over his shoulder. I yelp in surprise, “I can walk you know.”

“Yeah, you were doing a real good job of that.” Zeke quips back.

I relax and just let him carry me. Never again will I sleep in the tub. Lesson learned. He opens my bedroom door and Jaylinn is perched on the end of my bed.

When she notices me she jumps up, “Hailey? What the hell happened to you?”

Zeke sets me on my feet. “You good?”

I shake my head yeah. I look over at the cable box and notice its ten thirty. “Why are you here so early? I wasn’t expecting you until tonight.”

Jaylinn picks up a Cosmo magazine that I had thrown on the floor earlier in the week. “Yeah well MacKenzie and I wanted to have a girls’ night tonight so pack your shit and let’s go. You’re driving back.”

An hour later, and lots of bitching from Jaylinn, we are buckled in her car and pulling onto the highway, heading to Jersey with coffee in our hands. The butterflies in my stomach refuse to calm and I’m seriously jittery, the coffee probably wasn’t the best idea.

I still can’t believe that Logan was so pissed off that I was going back to Jersey that he needed to bring a girl home last night. Was he trying to ruin our friendship again?

Jaylinn is playing with the radio, trying to find something to listen to. “Aw, I love this song. Have you heard it before?”

I shake my head no.

Jaylinn turns it up, “It’s, Everything Has Changed by Taylor Swift and Ed Sheeran.” Then puts her sunglasses on, sits back and relaxes while singing along.

I slip my own sunglasses on and play with the promise ring that Mason gave me. I still can’t seem to take it off, in a way it still makes me feel close to him.

Christmas morning last year started off not so well. Tara had a fight with her on-again-off-again boyfriend and she stayed the night on the couch at Mom’s house. If I would have known I would have stayed the night at Mason’s house but I didn’t want Mom to wake up alone on Christmas day.

I walked downstairs and Tara was in the kitchen cooking pancakes, Mom must have still been asleep. I was happy just to ignore her like I’ve done for years.

“Morning.” Tara greeted me as she flipped a pancake.

“Morning.” I grabbed the orange juice from the fridge and poured myself a glass.

Tara flipped another pancake. “No one wanted to spend Christmas with you?”

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. She’s such a bitch! “Actually, for your information, yes there are people but I didn’t want Mom alone on Christmas.”

Tara’s face twisted in disgust. “Who the hell would want you?”

Her words stung a bit but I’ve gotten used to them. Tara still blamed me for my parent’s divorce. I’ve grown used to it; it didn’t bother me as much anymore, now that I haven’t seen my dad in a few years.

“Funny, Tara, I could say the same about you.” I placed the orange juice back in the fridge and shut the door.

Tara caught me by my ponytail and yanked me back, spilling my orange juice all over me. “You stupid bitch. If it wasn’t for you Mom wouldn’t have to be alone on Christmas.”

I whirled around and shoved Tara hard, her back crashed against the counter. “It wasn’t my God damn fault that I was born, asshole.” I turned on my heel and walked back to my room. I sent Mason a quick text and asked if he could swing by and pick me up in a half hour. He responded right back that he would. I took a quick shower, got dressed and grabbed the presents that I bought for the Cahills and left without a word to my mom or Tara.

Mason was outside waiting for me, when he noticed my hands were full he jumped out and helped me. I was still upset and pissed off that Tara had started her shit on Christmas day. Mason and I climbed in the car and we went back to his place. He knew there was something wrong but he didn’t question me. He knew me well enough to wait until I was ready to talk about it.