Megan Smith - Hard To Love You

“Oh shit.” Chloe says softly.

“What?” Jaylinn questions, “What the hell is going on?”

I stand up and walk to the kitchen, suddenly feeling very thirsty. I turn my back away from the girls gawking at me.

I hear a bunch of shuffling and footsteps and suddenly all three pairs of wide eyes are staring at me, jaws dropped to the floor.

“You’re pregnant!” All three girls yell at once.

I take a drink of water from my glass. I don’t answer because I’m scared shitless. I don’t know if they are excited, upset, disappointed or what.

“Hails,” MacKenzie starts, “Look at me.”

I meet her eyes. “You’re pregnant aren’t you?”

I shrug. “I don’t know.”

“You haven’t taken a test?” Chloe asks.

“No.” My heart rate speeds up.

“But you got one earlier at the store. That’s why you made me stop?” Jaylinn speaks up.

“Yeah.”

“You. Now. Upstairs.” MacKenzie orders.

The alarm beeps, signaling that a door has opened. My eyes go wide. Jaylinn pushes MacKenzie and me upstairs. “Go. Chloe and I’ve got this.”

MacKenzie waddles her pregnant little ass upstairs and I follow behind. We walk into the guest bedroom and MacKenzie stands near the door. “Grab it and let’s go to my bathroom.”

I grab the test and follow her. MacKenzie shuts the door behind us and I go into the bathroom. My whole body starts to shake. I feel like I’m about to throw up.

MacKenzie comes in and shuts the bathroom door. “Take a couple of deep breaths.” I turn to her soothing voice. “It’s going to be okay, Hails. Why haven’t you called me about this?”

Breathe in, breathe out. “Because I was stupid. I didn’t even think about Mason not using a condom until one night I woke up and realized I never got my period.”

MacKenzie smiles, “You know this changes everything right?”

Breathe in, breathe out. My nerves are still going crazy but I feel a little calmer. “I know. I haven’t talked to him since his birthday weekend, Kenzie. I have no idea what he’s been up to. Is he seeing someone? Does he hate me? All these questions are running through my head.”

“Well,” MacKenzie perches herself on the side of the tub. “If you didn’t forbid me to talk about him then you would have known.” I fumble around with the bag that holds the pregnancy test. “Hailey.” I look over at her. “He’s not seeing anyone and he hasn’t done for a long time. Mason could never, ever hate you. He has been working on his house when he isn’t on the road. He’s waiting for you Hailey.”

Tears burn my eyes. I swallow hard.

“He loves you, Hailey. I think he loves you more now than he did before.”

“You’re damn right I do.” Startled at the voice, I jump and spin around.

The room grows quiet; you could hear a pin drop. The bag in my hand feels like a ticking time bomb. Mason takes a step closer to me and without apology plants his lips on mine. My heart stops completely, I stop breathing. Mason cups my face with his hands and tears fall from my closed eyes. I grip his shirt with one of my hands and hold on for dear life. I don’t ever want to be apart from this man again.

Mason places another kiss on my lips, more gently this time, and wipes the tears away with his thumbs. “I love you Hailey, don’t ever doubt that. You’ve always held a special place in my heart and always will.”

Sniffles echo in the bathroom and they aren’t from me. I giggle; I forgot MacKenzie was in the room with us. “I’m sorry.” She cries. MacKenzie stands up and hugs both Mason and me. “I love you two, now please get your shit together. I want my best friend back.” Mason places a kiss on my forehead. “And I need an answer to a question.” MacKenzie looks at me.

“What questions is that?” Mason asks.

MacKenzie winks, “I’ll let Hails explain.” She turns and leaves me in here with Mason.

“So um,” I scratch my nose.

Mason interrupts me, “Just so you know, I’m not letting you go.”

I smile at him, “Good, because I don’t want to go. I missed you so much Mason. I’m so sorry I didn’t believe in our relationship. I grew up being told I was a mistake. I let my issues with my family seep into my relationship with you and ruin us. All these months apart I’ve had time to think and I was so stupid for listening to Brittany and Lily.”

“And I’m sorry I just let you go, I didn’t even try to stop you and make you listen. My stubbornness and pride got in the way. I should have fought harder to keep you.” Mason kisses me again. “And just so you know I never slept with Lily. She staged the whole thing.”

“Are you fucking serious?”

Mason nods.

“Who the hell does that?”

Mason grimaces, “That girl has some major issues she is dealing with. Pat, the guy from the team,” I nod, knowing exactly who he is. I can’t stand that two timing asshole. “He knocked up Lily. I ran into her while getting pizza and she told me everything.”

I shake my head in disgust. Pat should have kept it in his pants and Lily should have kept her legs closed. I’m so relieved that Mason and Lily didn’t sleep together though.

“So what’s the answer that Kenzie is waiting for?” Mason asks disrupting my thoughts.

“Oh yeah. Um …” My stomach rolls.

Mason grabs my chin, “Whatever it is, I’ll deal with it. Just tell me.” I close my eyes and breathe in through my nose and out of my mouth. “No more secrets, no more lies. I want you Hailey and I’m going to spend forever proving it to you. These last few months have been miserable without you.”

I start crying again.

Mason lets go of my chin, reaches into his pocket and pulls out a blue Tiffany’s box.

I cry harder.

He drops to one knee. “I didn’t plan on proposing to you in my sister’s bathroom but I don’t want to spend another minute not knowing if you’ll be mine.” He shrugs and I smile through my tears. “I want to give you the world, Hailey. Our love isn’t sweet and simple; it never was and probably never will be. It’s hot, loud and messy and I wouldn’t want it any other way. I will love you for the rest of my life. I want our happily ever after. It’s our turn.” I wipe the tears away. “Hailey, will you marry me?”

Mason loves me, me. Not the idea of me carrying his baby if I’m pregnant. This is just about me and him. I’m so head over heels in love with Mason I can’t even see straight. I tried to deny my feelings and tried to move on, but failed at both. This time apart has proven a lot of things. It’s shown that you don’t know what you have until it’s gone. It’s proven that I can stand on my own two feet without ever feeling like I need someone to hold me up.

“Yes. Yes I’ll marry you, Mason.” I drop the bag I was holding and throw myself into his arms, crashing against his body. “I love you so much. No more secrets, Mason.”

Mason opens the box to reveal the biggest rock I have ever seen, it has to be three or four carats, nestled in the center of a band of diamonds. He takes the ring out of the box and slips it on my finger. “Never again. You will always come first from this day forward.” I hold it up and admire it. It’s gorgeous.

Out of the corner of my eye, I see the bag containing the pregnancy test.

“Actually, wait a second.”

Mason freezes.

“I might actually be hiding a secret.”

His eyebrows burrow together, “Might be?”

I smile at him and nod to the bag that I dropped on the floor.

Mason looks at the bag and then back at me. “If you hand me that bag I can tell you if I’m hiding something and answer MacKenzie’s question.”

He reaches for the bag and passes it to me. I take the pregnancy test out and look at Mason. His eyes are big as saucers. “You’re pregnant?”

I open the box, take the test out and place it on the sink next to the toilet. “We’re about to find out.”

Mason stands up and turns to leave the room, “Where the hell are you going? Don’t leave me in here by myself.”

Mason is white as a ghost. “Is …” He tries to clean his throat. “Is … it … mine?”

“Yes Mason. I haven’t slept with anyone but you.” I assure him and then the color starts to come back to his cheeks.

I open the plastic that is wrapped around the test. Once I’m finished I set it back on the sink. I look over at Mason and he’s just staring at the piece of plastic.

I go over and wrap my arms around him, “Are you scared?”

Mason stares me right in the eyes, “No. Do you know how long I’ve wanted this with you?”

Shock crosses my face, “You’ve wanted to have a baby with me?”

“I dream about it all the time, Boo. I want little boys running around our house causing destruction wherever they go. I want the laughter and the joy they will bring.”

My heart melts. “I want that too but I’m scared shitless.”

Mason kisses my head, “Don’t be.”

I think I’ve kept him busy long enough, “You wanna look first?”

He nods and turns his body so he can see the test. I watch his face, his lips pull up slightly and transform into a full shit eating grin.

“I’m pregnant?”

Mason grabs me up in his arms and spins me around. “You’re having my baby.”

I squeal at the surprise and place my lips on Mason. He stops spinning and slowly sets me on my feet. “I guess you’re getting your happily ever after, plus one.”

Mason smiles his cocky smile. “You’re damn straight I am. I get everything I want.”

Mason took me home after we’d told everyone our news. Home; to our house, and I haven’t left. The following morning Mason was on the phone with a moving company to collect my things and bring them here. Today I have an ultrasound appointment to see our little one. I’m so thankful that Mason has home games until later this week. I want him here for this.

“You ready to go?”

“Let’s do this.”

An hour later we are in the dark ultrasound room. I reach out and grab for Mason’s hand. The technician explains that she is going to take some pictures and then she’ll show us the baby.

Mason’s forehead scrunches as he studies me, “What’s wrong, baby?”

Mason glances at me and then back to the screen. He tilts his head to the side, “How the hell can you tell what all that is. I can’t see anything.”

The technician laughs, “It’s all very clear when you know what you’re looking for. None of this stuff matters much.”

“If you say so.” Mason replies.

We both watch as she moves it all around my stomach, taking pictures. She switches wands and then asks, “Ready?”

“Yes.” Mason and I both say at the same time.

She inserts the wand and it’s all dark, she makes some adjustments and then it lightens. “Well, here is a baby.” Tears spring to my eyes.

“It looks like a little jelly bean.” Mason says softly.

“It does.” The technician agrees. She moves the wand around a little more. “And here is baby number two.”

My eyes shoot to Mason. I see him swallow hard.

I look back to the screen, “Wait a second. Did you say two?”

The technician smiles and nods, “I did.”

“Holy shit, we’re having twins.”

The nurse giggles, “You are. Would you like some pictures?”

I pinch the bridge of my nose and nod yes. We’re having twins. Holy shit! We’re having twins. I can’t believe it. Then I look over to Mason with horror on my face. “I’m going to be as big as a God damn house, Mason!”

Mason stares at the screen, “We’re having twins.” He repeats.

“Yes Mason, we are. Did you hear what I said? I’m going to be as big as a house.” I repeat myself again in case he didn’t hear me.

“We’re having twins.” Mason says again.

I sigh loudly. The technician prints out our pictures and sends us on our way. Mason is still in shock and all I can think about is looking like a house and wondering how I’m expected to push not one, but two babies out of me. I’m never going to be the same again.

* * *

Christmas is just around the corner and I’m big as house already, or at least I feel like I am. Mason is going out Christmas shopping since I was put on bed rest. My blood pressure keeps spiking and I’ve got some swelling going on so the doctors want to take precautions and keep the babies snuggled inside me as long as possible. Since I’m so small the doctor doesn’t think I’ll make it to the full forty weeks.

“Knock, knock.” Cooper’s voice rings through the house.