No, she would wait. She held her secret close inside and enjoyed thinking about how happy he was going to be when she finally told him.

CHAPTER NINE

TINA died peacefully early on a Monday morning. Callie was by her side. She didn’t cry. She had already cried buckets over the last few weeks and she had to maintain a cheerful front for Molly.

Luckily Molly didn’t notice that much was different. She hadn’t seen her mother much except for quick visits to the hospital for weeks and then asleep from the doorway once she was home. She was getting used to life with Callie and Nadine, the nanny Grant had hired, filling the caretaking slots. So it didn’t seem odd to her when she and Callie packed up all her things to move her to the penthouse. It was just another adventure.

The funeral was on Thursday. It was sparsely attended. Tina didn’t have a wide circle of friends. Gena came and Callie appreciated that. Grant tried to make it, taking a midnight flight from Madrid, but his plane was delayed and he only arrived for the tail end of the service. Callie took one look at him coming in through the arched doorway and all the emotion she’d held so tightly controlled let go as though a dam had been broken. She dissolved into tears and he reached her quickly, taking her into his arms and holding her tightly against his chest, rocking her and murmuring comfort. She couldn’t seem to stop crying but she loved the way he held her.

She regained control as they drove back to his apartment. By the time they were at the front door, she was herself again, quietly telling Grant about how the last few days had gone. He listened sympathetically as he pushed the button to open the door. They both entered, lingering in the entryway, and suddenly a youthful screech filled the air as Molly came hurtling toward them on her little chubby legs.

“What the…?”

Grant turned toward Callie, astounded.

Callie caught Molly up in her arms and hugged her tightly. She’d agonized over whether or not to take her to the funeral, but in the end, she’d decided not to. She was just too young to deal with whatever hints she might have picked up on as to what the ceremony was about. So she’d left her at home with Nadine.

“Hello, pumpkin,” she said to her now. “Were you a good girl while we were gone?”

“She was just fine,” Nadine said, walking toward them with her awkward walk and warm, generous manner. “Did you have a good trip, Mr. Carver?”

Grant was still in shock from finding Molly ensconced in his home. Callie saw it in his face and bit her lip, wishing she’d warned him. But it was too late now.

He muttered something in response to the nanny, but his gaze was on Callie, and she could see that he wanted answers. She was about to hand Molly back when the little girl lunged toward Grant.

“Da Da!” she cried, using the name she’d been using for him from the first. Her face was filled with delight and her little arms stretched toward him.

It took both Callie and Nadine wrestling with the child to get her back under control and out of the room. When Callie came back, Grant was waiting for her, his eyes ice-cold.

“What is Molly doing here?” he asked softly.

Callie sighed. She felt as though she were wilting. After the funeral and everything else from the week, she didn’t have much in reserve for arguing. Turning, she looked him straight in the face.

“I was hoping I would come up with a good way to tell you about this, but I just haven’t had the time to think about it. I’m just going to give you the facts.”

“That would be best.”

Callie reached out to steady herself against the high back of a chair. “She’s here. She’s going to stay with us from now on.”

He looked as though he’d been shot.

“Grant, I know how you react to her but I’m sure that will fade quickly if you just let it…”

“No.” He was shaking his head emphatically. “No, it’s impossible.”

She turned her head, avoiding his eyes.

“Callie, it’s impossible. I can’t have her here. I just can’t do it.”

She took a deep breath. “Grant, I really think you should try to get over that.”

“Get over it?” He stared at her. “How do you get over having your life torn apart? How do you get over losing a child?”

She turned back to face him. “But, Grant, this is another child. A child who needs us. Wouldn’t redeeming the life of another child make up at least in part for what was lost?”

His face was cold and his jaw looked like granite. “No.”

“I know it was awful. It’s still awful.” She was pleading now. “But life goes on and you can’t take it out on a baby.”

He frowned as though he couldn’t believe she could be saying these things. “I’m not taking anything out on a baby. I’m just telling you what I can’t do. And I can’t live with the situation you suggest. I just can’t.” He sighed impatiently. “Surely Tina has some family somewhere who can take the baby.”

She shook her head, fighting the awful feeling of dread that was building in her.

“Oh, come on, Callie. Everyone’s got someone.”

“I don’t. Except you.”

She said the last two words so softly he might not have heard. He certainly didn’t react.

“And you want me to believe Tina didn’t, either?” he said levelly. “She couldn’t have been completely alone in the world.”

“Well, she does have a stepmother somewhere. But she hated her. Called her evil. I know they haven’t spoken in years.”

“Still, if she’s family…”

She met his gaze with her chin high. “The woman let Tina be sent to foster care rather than take care of her after her father died. Why would she want to take Tina’s baby in?”

She saw the hope fade in his eyes, but then he had an idea.

“Then how about some nice young couple looking to adopt? She’s a beautiful little girl. She wouldn’t have any trouble finding someone who wanted her.”

Callie’s jaw stuck out even further. “She already has found someone. Me.”

“Oh, Callie.” He shook his head in disbelief.

She was fighting tears now, but she was determined not to let them show. “Grant, this is Molly we’re talking about. My Molly.”

“Your Molly?”

“Yes.” She nodded. “Tina did some paperwork and got me named as legal guardian a week ago. I’m going to adopt her.”

His eyes were flat and cold. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

She shook her head. “You weren’t here.”

He stared at her. There was no give in his face, no sign that he might relent. Her heart was breaking.

“I hate to put it this way, Grant, but my responsibility to Molly goes back further than my commitment to you. I can’t abandon her. I won’t.”

He stared at her, hardly able to believe this was the same loving woman he’d become so accustomed to these last few weeks. Where had this steely determination come from?

“There’s no one else to take her,” she was saying insistently. Her emotions were starting to show. Her voice was rising. “If this means it’s over between you and me, that’s the way it will have to be, because there is no way I can do that to this child.”

Looking at her, he saw the tragedy in her eyes and he realized what she was asking. Could he give her up? Why not? He could find another woman, couldn’t he? It couldn’t be that hard.

And suddenly, it struck him like a knife in the chest. He couldn’t do it. He was so attached to her now, he couldn’t imagine life without her. He had to have her nearby. His breath was coming faster than normal and he realized that the threat of Callie leaving scared the hell out of him. He couldn’t lose her. He would do just about anything to keep her. But could he do this?

Blinking rapidly, he tried to shift gears, tried to rethink things. Molly was a sweet little girl. It wasn’t her fault she affected him the way she did. Maybe…But no. Just thinking about it made him start to sweat. He couldn’t do it.

Surely there was someone out there in the world who could take her. Surely there was an aunt, a grandmother, someone. All they had to do was find that person. He had a very good detective agency he used at times for the company. He would call them in the morning. Surely they could find someone.

In the meantime, maybe he could deal with this new situation. He would have to. He couldn’t let Callie go. That was not an option.

But the words were difficult to speak.

“We could try it for a while, I suppose,” he said, his voice rough as sandpaper. Looking at the hopeful light in her eyes, he wanted to take her in his arms and hold her tightly to him. “We’ll see how it goes.”

He could see the relief in her face and it warmed him.

“So you want me to stay,” she said.

He grimaced. “Of course I want you to stay,” he said roughly, trying to control the emotion in his voice.

She sighed and let herself begin to relax. “Well, that’s good. Because…because I really should be here right after Christmas.” She tried to smile but she knew she looked like she was about to cry. “That’s when our baby is going to be born.”

“What?” He felt the room spin. It was his turn to reach for support. “You’re pregnant?”

She nodded, tears welling in her eyes as she smiled up at him. “Yes.”

“Callie.” He pulled her close and rained kisses on her face. “Oh, Callie. I’m the happiest man in the world.”

And for the moment, he actually meant it.

An almost comfortable routine grew up around their busy days. Callie and Grant ate breakfast together in the mornings, then Grant left for the office and Callie fed Molly and played with her until it was time for her to go to work. She took care of errands and shopping late in the afternoon. Then she went straight home to take care of Molly for the rest of the day into the evening. Grant usually didn’t come home until after Molly’s bedtime. It was best that way, she supposed.

Still, the situation wasn’t ideal and Callie wished Grant would make an effort to get to know Molly better. But she wasn’t in the position to be choosy right now. So she let it go for the present.

Her fear that Grant might not feel the need to pay much attention to her once she was pregnant, as though that project had been completed and it was time to move on, proved unjustified. Most of the time their relationship could have passed for a love-match to any casual observer-especially in the lovemaking department. Contrary to her fears, there had been no slacking off in that area. In fact, Grant seemed to relish her changing body, and she relished his interest.

Her pregnancy was progressing normally. Grant insisted on going with her to her first doctor’s appointment. The doctor pronounced her in great shape and Grant talked vitamins and danger signs he’d read about in the waiting room all the way home.

That meant he was home earlier than usual-early enough to witness Molly eating her dinner. The little girl was in her high chair and Callie had turned to the sink to wash off a toy when Grant walked into the room.

“Look at this mess!”

She whirled to see what was going on. “What are you shouting about?”

“There’s food all over the white rug.” He pointed down. “Look, it’s ruined.”

She looked at the fancy and probably very expensive carpet and then she looked at Molly. Molly was grinning happily. As Callie watched, she picked up a handful of mashed potatoes and threw it at Grant. The little splat landed on the side of his nose. Molly gurgled happily. Callie could almost hear her saying, “Touchdown!”

Grant turned toward Callie with a see-what-she-did look on his face.

And Callie responded cheerfully with, “Okay. That does it. We’re getting rid of the white rug.”

Grant looked confused as he wiped mashed potatoes from his face. “What?”

She shrugged. “The white rug has to go. Do you think Molly is the only baby who’s going to throw food all over it? White rugs are not compatible with happy babies.”

“But…”

“You just wait.” She pointed to her still-tiny tummy. “This guy is going to tear this place apart.”

He looked a bit nonplussed.

“We’re going to have to baby-proof all the rooms,” she said.

“Baby-proof my apartment?”

“Didn’t you do that for…?”

She stopped. She’d almost said Lisa’s name. That was against the unspoken rules. She saw something flicker in his eyes.

But at the same time, she was having second thoughts. This was all wrong. They couldn’t dance around this issue the rest of their lives. Lisa had been a real person and deserved to be spoken about like a real person. The way he was treating her, she wasn’t real anymore-she was a museum relic wrapped in protective gauze and kept from human view. He must have memories of her that he cherished. Wouldn’t it be better if it was possible for him to bring them back out and honor them?