“It's fine.” He was surprised to hear it.

“And the price?” She sat quietly for a minute, but only because in her head, she was saying good-bye to the apartment and to Steven.

“It's fine too.”

“You accept it?”

“Yes.” Christ. Push, push, push.

“I'll get the papers over to you this afternoon. You can sign them and I'll send them back to your husband's attorney.”

“Fine.”

“We'll send them right over.” And when he did, it seemed odd to see Steven's signature looking up at her. She hadn't seen any part of him in so long that seeing his handwriting was like a jolt into the past. But there was nothing else, no note, no letter, nothing jotted on the forms. He had completely removed himself from her life and he wanted to keep it that way, no matter what. It was almost as though he was afraid of her, but she couldn't understand why. It seemed so unreasonable, but maybe it no longer mattered.

She showed the papers to Bill that night and he said they looked fine, but he made a couple of suggestions, about the escrow, and how to handle the deposit, and suggested she talk to her divorce lawyer about them. And he warned her to be careful that she got her fair share out of the proceeds from the apartment. And then he asked her something he'd been wondering for a while, but hadn't wanted to bring it up, because he didn't want to upset her.

“What about spousal support? Has he offered you anything? And support for the baby?”

“I haven't asked for anything,” she said quietly. “I have my salary. And he's already told me that he won't support the baby. He's renouncing all his rights before it's born, I told you that.” She looked upset talking about it. “I don't want anything from him.” If he didn't want her, and the baby, then she didn't want his money. But Bill thought her sentiments were both noble and stupid.

“What if you get sick? If something happens to you?” he asked her gently.

“I have insurance,” she said, shrugging. And then he turned to her with a look of quiet exasperation.

“Why are you letting this guy off so damn easy, Adrian? Are you still in love with him? He deserted you. He owes you something, and the child.” And then he felt his heart sink as she shook her head and reached out to touch him.

“You know, I'm not in love with him. But I was married to him … he was my husband … he still is technically …and,” she almost gulped on the word, after everything Bill had done for her, but it was still the truth, “he's the baby's father.” She didn't want to hurt him, but it was true, and it meant something to her, and he knew it.

“That means a lot to you, doesn't it?”

She looked down at her hands and then looked up at him again as she nodded and spoke very softly. “Yes, it does. Not a lot. But something. It's his child, Bill. What if he comes to his senses one day? He has a right to something …some part of it … I don't want to slam all the doors on him, in case one day he wants that.”

“I don't think he ever will.” Bill spoke just as quietly. He didn't want to fight with her, and as he listened to her, he wondered if there was any point in his fighting Steven. Bill didn't want to get hurt. But he didn't want to lose her, or the baby, either. “I think you're dreaming if you think he'll come back. I think he's made his position clear.”

“He might change his mind.”

“Do you want him to, Adrian? Do you want him back?”

He looked her right in the eye and she shook her head, and he believed her. And without another word, he took her in his arms. “I'll die if I ever lose you.” She knew that, and she would have died if she lost him, too, and yet …there was still the specter of Steven….

“I don't want to lose you either.”

“You won't.” And then he smiled. As he held her, he could feel the baby kicking.

“Thank you for being so good to me.” “Don't be silly.” He kissed her and they sat together for a long time, but their conversation worried him afterward. He knew how strong her loyalties were, and even though she loved him, to her it was still important that Steven was really the baby's father. And Bill knew that there was nothing he could do to protect himself anymore. He just had to love her, and take his chances.





THE APARTMENT SOLD QUICKLY AND SIMPLY, AND IN the first week of November, the deal closed, and she and Bill packed up her things and moved them to his place across the complex. It was all very simple, and much less emotional than she had feared. There was nothing left to hold on to, or feel sentimental about. Steven had taken it all with him five months before, even the album with their wedding pictures. She wondered what he had done with it, and figured he had probably thrown it out. It was odd. It was so completely gone, everything had disappeared as though nothing had ever happened. She tried to explain it to Bill as she put the rest of her belongings in his guest room.