Elin Hilderbrand - Here’s to Us

Scarlett sobbed into Joel’s shoulder.

JP nudged Angie forward. She reached into the urn, thinking, This is not Deacon. Deacon was the man who had lifted her up onto his shoulders so she could feed leaves into the hungry mouth of the giraffe. Deacon was the one who had played endless games of Monopoly with her, in which his favorite strategy was to put up houses and hotels right away and then half the time watch himself fall into foreclosure while Angie cleaned him out. Deacon was the one who always saved Angie the last glass of wine. Deacon was the one who called her when a new Jamaican jerk place opened on Avenue C. We have to go! Can you meet me in five minutes?

He was my father, Angie thought. But, more than that, he was my friend.

She took a handful of remains and let them drop into the water, then she dusted off her hand on her shorts. She turned back to look at JP. He was wearing his sunglasses, but she saw the shine of one tear run down his face. He smiled at her. I thought it would give you something else to think about, something else to want. Certainly, JP had realized that nothing would trump what Angie wanted now and what she would want for the rest of her life: five more minutes with Deacon, so she could hug him and say good-bye.

Laurel threw a copious handful of ashes with exuberance, as though she were a passenger on the deck of the QE2 throwing confetti at well-wishers on the dock. Buck followed suit because, as Angie realized in that instant, Buck was besotted with Laurel and would do anything to make her happy.

Buck handed the urn to Scarlett, but Scarlett turned her face away and wailed, “I can’t! I just can’t!”

Belinda staggered over and reached her hand into the urn. She bent all the way over the side of the boat as if she was afraid to throw Deacon’s ashes, as if she preferred to simply set them down on the surface of the water. “Good night, sweet prince,” she said. Angie rolled her eyes. Of course her mother would quote Shakespeare.

After the ceremonial moment had passed, they idled a bit. Belinda returned to the back of the boat, as far away as possible from Scarlett.

“It’s a lovely night,” JP said. “We’ll turn around in a minute.”

Scarlett stood up. At first, Belinda thought she had changed her mind about the ashes, which was a good thing. If she didn’t scatter them now, she would always regret it. But instead of asking for the urn, Scarlett headed for Belinda with her arms outstretched.

“Belinda,” she said. “Listen to me.”

“No,” Belinda said. She backed up. In that moment, Scarlett became Stella, or maybe just a younger Scarlett, maybe the Scarlett who had occupied Deacon’s fantasies even while he was married to Belinda.

“Stay away from me, please,” Belinda said. Belinda took another step back and instantly realized her mistake. There was nothing behind her except-after a moment of suspended time, which was at once instant and endless-the water.

Splash.

There was a beat of stunned silence. If it were anyone else, Angie might have laughed. But it was Belinda.

Angie said, “She can’t swim! JP, my mother can’t swim!”

JP jumped up onto the bench, and from there, he dove over the side of the boat. A few seconds later he surfaced and said, “I don’t see her!”

Buck dove into the water. Laurel dove into the water. The boat bounced around, and Angie gripped the side to keep herself upright. JP went down again. Ellery wrapped her arms around Angie’s legs.

“Miss Kit Kat?” she said.

“She’ll be fine,” Scarlett said.

“She can’t swim!” Angie said to Scarlett. “You know she can’t swim!”

“I was just trying to apologize!” Scarlett said. She turned to Joel. “I wanted to say sorry.”

Joel peered over the side of the boat into the water, but he did not jump in, Angie noticed.

Mom! Angie could not lose both her parents. She could not. Belinda was a fighter. Swim! she thought. Find the surface! Wasn’t everyone born with an innate sense of what to do in the water?

JP’s head popped up. He dragged Belinda to the surface. Belinda sucked in air, coughed, and choked. Then, once she had oxygen, she started to howl. Angie, too, started crying.

“Mom!” Angie said.

Buck climbed aboard, and together he and JP managed to get Belinda back onto the boat. Laurel followed, then JP. Hayes was sitting with his head in his hands. “Man,” he said. “I just cannot handle this.”

From the launch, JP radioed the harbormaster, who sent one of his assistants to meet them on the dock with towels and blankets. Belinda was in full-on teeth-chattering, goose-bump mode. Angie walked her mother over to JP’s Jeep, and Hayes helped Belinda get settled in the front seat.

They had to wait for JP to tie the launch back up, during which time Angie watched Joel, Scarlett, and Ellery climb into the back of the red Jeep, with Laurel and Buck in the front.

“Who is that guy with the goatee?” Hayes asked. “Do we know him?”

“He’s my boyfriend,” Angie said. Hayes was so oblivious! Angie wanted to snap in his face and say, For Pete’s sake, Hayes, pay attention! But she didn’t want to be the instigator of any more family strife, and besides, she envied Hayes his ability to block everything out.

“Your boyfriend?” Hayes said. “I thought he was Scarlett’s boyfriend.”

“Exactly,” Angie said.

“But I guess that wouldn’t make sense,” Hayes said. “Because she was married to Dad, and he’s only been dead a few weeks.”

“Exactly,” Belinda mumbled. Angie put a hand on Belinda’s shoulder and kept it there until JP climbed into the Jeep.

“Back to Hoicks Hollow?” he asked.

“Yes, please,” Angie said. She wanted to somehow apologize for her family, but she didn’t know how.

Back at 33 Hoicks Hollow, there was a commotion in the driveway. Belinda had regained some color and some life. She sat forward.

“Someone is here,” she said. “Is it Bob?”

“It might be?” Angie said. That would be a nice surprise for her mother. The red Jeep was already in the driveway, as well as… the Lincoln. Pirate’s taxi.

“What does that guy want?” Hayes asked.

“What does that guy want?” Angie asked Hayes. “Do you owe him money?”

“More like the other way around,” Hayes said.

JP said, “Pirate is the scourge of this entire island. He moved here last year and parades around in that asinine costume like he owns the place. And it’s no secret he deals drugs.”

Angie saw a man-tall and lean, with sandy blond hair, wearing a coat and tie-climb out of the back of the taxi. Not Bob.

“Who’s that?” she said.

Scarlett jumped out of the red Jeep and launched herself into the man’s arms.

“Well,” Belinda said.

The man was Bo Tanner. Angie unfolded herself from the back of JP’s Jeep just in time for Scarlett to introduce her.

“Bo, this is Angie, Belinda and Deacon’s daughter. Angie, this is Bo Tanner.”

He held out his hand. Angie wasn’t sure what she was supposed to do. Deacon’s ashes probably hadn’t even settled on the ocean floor yet, and already Angie was meeting his replacement. She shook Bo’s hand. “I’ve heard a lot about you.”

This, at least, was true.

When Angie turned around, she saw Joel waiting for her.

“You should go,” she said. “Get your stuff out of my room and have Pirate here take you to the ferry.”

Joel reached out for Angie’s arm, but she swatted him away. “Don’t touch me.”

“Ange.”

His voice, with its smoldering, sexy, ragged edge, nearly undid her resolve. She wanted to go to him and rest her head on his heart. The nonsense with Scarlett she could forgive; he had probably just felt uncomfortable putting his feelings for Angie on display. But then she thought of JP’s words, You deserve to be someone’s everything. She would never be Joel’s everything. He might not leave her for Scarlett Oliver, but he would leave her for someone, the way he’d run through Karen and Winnie. Angie drew on some strength way down in the pit of her stomach that she didn’t even know she had; it was even more difficult than drawing back the string of the bow. “Leave, Joel,” she said. “Oh, and by the way, you’re fired.”

“You can’t fire me,” Joel said. “Only Harv can fire me.”

“Okay, then wait for Harv to tell you,” Angie said. “But you’re fired.”

Angie and JP helped Belinda from the car into the house.

“I can walk,” Belinda said. “I’m fine, really.”

Angie looked at JP. “We’re ordering pizzas for dinner,” she said. “Dad’s favorite. Can you stay?”

“Let me run back to my shack and get changed,” JP said. “Then, yes, I’d love to join you.”

“My hero,” Belinda said.

JP left, and Joel was gone. Laurel, Buck, Hayes, and Ellery were in the kitchen when Belinda and Angie walked in, followed by Scarlett and Bo.

“Bo is going to join us for dinner!” Scarlett announced. She beamed at Laurel. “Is that okay with you?”

Laurel opened her mouth, but no sound came out. Finally she managed: “It’s Deacon’s farewell dinner, Bo,” she said. “Do you feel like you want to be here?”

Bo smiled. “No,” he said. He held his palms up as if to show he meant no harm. “I’ll head back to my hotel, I think.” To Scarlett, he said, “I’ll let you enjoy your time with everyone tonight, and I’ll come get you and Ellery in the morning. Good-bye, y’all,” he said, excusing himself with half a wave.

“I’m hungry,” Ellery said.

“I’ll order the pizza now,” Laurel said.

“I don’t get it,” Hayes said. “Who was that guy?”

They had four pies delivered from Sophie T’s-three with three toppings each and the cheese well done, and one with just pepperoni and the cheese gooey.

“That one’s for Buck,” Laurel said after they’d spread the boxes out on the counter.

“Anyone is welcome to a slice,” Buck said as he chose the largest piece for himself and wrapped the strings of mozzarella around the pointy end.

JP said, “Yeah, man, I’ll have a slice of that.”

“Me too,” Ellery said. She was sitting on Angie’s lap.

“Hey, shall we measure you, finally?” Angie asked.

“Yes!” Ellery said.

“I think we forgot to do it last year,” Scarlett said. She was drinking a can of Skinny4Life and a glass of wine. “I can’t remember. All the years run together.”

Angie stood Ellery up against the door frame and checked the hash marks. “There’s one here for Ellery from 8/12/15. It’s in Dad’s handwriting.”

“He must have done it, then,” Scarlett said. “I don’t know what I was thinking-he never forgot. It was one of his rules.”

“Like the clothesline,” Belinda said. “And showering outside.”

“Living the life on Nantucket,” Buck said.

“On Hoicks Hollow Road,” Hayes said. “Our home away from home.”

Angie marked the doorframe right above Ellery’s head. “My, my, how you have grown,” she said.

Later, after dinner, Laurel stood on the front porch with Angie, Hayes, and JP. Angie was having a cigarette, and the rest of them were gazing up at the emerging stars. Buck was cleaning up in the kitchen, and Belinda had volunteered to go upstairs and read to Ellery.

“Well, it wasn’t pretty, but we survived,” Angie said. She crushed the butt of her cigarette against the sole of her clog. She turned to JP. “Thank you for having dinner with us.”

“Thank you for asking me,” JP said. “But I should get home.”

“I’ll walk you to the car,” Angie said.

Laurel and Hayes watched Angie and JP head down the porch stairs to the driveway.

“They would make a cute couple,” Laurel said. “Don’t you think?”

Hayes turned to her. “Mom,” he said. “I have a problem.”

“A problem?” she said.

“With drugs, I think?” Hayes said. His eyes filled with tears. “I’m sorry, Mom.”

Laurel led Hayes up the stairs. They went into his room, where Laurel closed and locked the door so that they wouldn’t be disturbed.

“I tried to be careful,” Hayes said. He was openly crying now, her handsome, accomplished son, so worldly, so sophisticated, the same little towhead that she tucked into this bed after a long day of sun and sand, half-asleep before his head even hit the pillow.

She let him cry in her lap. She stroked his hair, which was how she used to comfort Deacon.

“What is it?” she asked. “What are you addicted to?”

“Heroin,” he said. “It was an accident, Mom.”

Heroin, Laurel thought. She closed her eyes.