Pacing, she continued to experiment with the crutches, but soon, too soon, her muscles quivered with fatigue. And her brain hurt from thinking.
She'd never be able to forget how she'd put them all in danger. Zach could have been killed. So could Jason and Nellie, but they'd gotten out safely, thank God. And Cam… She'd nearly lost him, as well. The sight of him hanging onto the cliff by his bloody fingers as the helicopter blew up only a few feet away from him was going to haunt her forever.
On her second awkward circle around the room, Haley saw her purse. Cam had put it on the nightstand for her. That was it, then. She had everything she'd come with and there was nothing to stop her from leaving. Swinging the strap over her shoulder, she moved toward the door, but the purse kept swiveling in front of her thigh and getting caught in the crutches, making her trip.
She didn't want to go.
It hurt that she'd never see Nellie again. Or Jason and Zach. She'd have liked to say goodbye, but she had to go now, before she lost her nerve.
Liar, she thought. It would be too hard to say goodbye to the only people who had ever truly cared about her, and the guilt she felt would break her.
The door opened suddenly, and she stopped short.
Cam stood there, holding a fistful of wildflowers and a bag. Her heart tripped at the wonderful, familiar sight of him-the one man who'd stolen her heart, her soul, her love.
But his soft, easy smile faded when he took in the crutches and Haley reaching for the door handle. A huge frown creased his face when he spotted the purse slung over her shoulder. "You shouldn't be up. God, Haley, look at you." He tossed the flowers and the bag onto the chair and reached for her. "You're shaking. You look like you're going to pass out any second."
Backing her gently to the bed, he fretted over her while she sat stiffly, nervously. She hadn't planned on having to see him again, certainly hadn't figured on what it would do to her insides. He had a bandage on his forehead and his golden hair fell across it in a roguish sort of way. Those deep brown eyes looked at her with a mixture of affection, worry and- She slammed her own eyes shut against the onslaught of emotion that he caused.
She had no right, she thought as her throat closed up, no right at all to have him look at her with that much heat, that much hunger and love. "You brought me flowers," she said breathlessly.
"And a change of clothes. Why are you up?" he demanded.
He'd cleaned up, donned a fresh shirt. She tried not to notice how nicely it stretched over his shoulders. It was tucked into black jeans that had faded from too many washings, making them soft and snug enough to show off every exceptional inch of his lean hips and long legs.
Impatiently, he set his fists on his hips, bringing them to her attention. The big, gentle hands she'd come to love so much were bandaged. Because of her.
She tried to swallow the lump away, but it couldn't be budged. Damn him. Did he have to stand there looking better than any man had a right to look after the ordeal they'd been through?
"I thought you were sleeping," he accused. "I wouldn't have left if I'd known you'd wake up."
"I was sleeping." Couldn't he see how difficult this was for her? "I'm sleeped out, I guess."
"And ready to go," he added softly. His jaw tightened as he looked at her purse, then at the way she gripped her crutches like a lifeline. "My God. That's what you were doing when I came in just now, isn't it?"
Her guilty little start gave her away.
"Haley-"
But whatever he was going to say faded away as three grownups, a wheelchair and a baby all struggled to fit through the doorway at the same time.
Cam took one look at Zach, and then Jason pushing Nellie, who held the baby, and groaned audibly, confusing Haley.
"I told you I'd handle this," he said to them through his teeth.
Surprised by his rudeness, Haley looked at her extended family with a mixture of bittersweet pain and joy. It seemed that she would have to say goodbye, after all.
Zach squeezed past the wheelchair, coming forward to give Haley a gentle hug. "Are you doing okay?"
Cam muttered something under his breath about meddling family members.
Zach glanced at Cam, then back to Haley's tense face. "Is he being nice enough, Haley? Need me to sue him for you?"
"No, thanks." She felt a little overwhelmed by how much they obviously cared. "He's…" She looked at Cam, who had tipped his head back, studying the ceiling beseechingly, as if waiting for divine intervention. "He's being nice."
Jason scooped the bundle of joy from Nellie's lap and brought her forward to show her off. Peeling back the blanket, he revealed the sleeping infant.
"Oh," Haley whispered, reaching out to run a finger over the soft cheek. The little nose, the closed eyes, the tiny perfect red lips. Had she ever seen anything so lovely? "She's beautiful, Jason, so beautiful."
"Her name is Ally. And she looks just like me." He glanced at Cam's tight face, then grinned at Haley. "You are going to take mercy on him, aren't you, Haley?"
"Jas," Cam warned, taking a step toward him. "If you didn't have that baby in your arms-"
"Whoops!" Nellie covered her breasts with her hands. "I think it's time to feed the baby. Jas?"
Her husband frowned, paled. "But the doctor said you wouldn't have milk for two days-"
Ignoring him, Nellie deftly scooted the wheelchair between Cam and Jason, taking Ally back. Smiling easily, she reached for Haley's hand. "Honey, we didn't mean to intrude-"
"Then get out," Cam said, glaring at his brothers.
"But," Nellie continued serenely as if he hadn't spoken at all, "we just wanted to make sure you know how much we love you." Her voice wobbled a bit, her eyes welled. "Oh, Haley, honey, it's meant so much to have you around. I just really want you to believe that. I think of you as my best friend."
Haley's throat closed. Cam spared her a reply.
"Out," he ordered in a gritty voice. "Everyone out." He held open the door, relenting when Nellie wheeled through. Bending, he gave his new niece a kiss on top of her head and squeezed Nellie's shoulder.
"Don't be mad, Cam. I just had to put my two cents in," she whispered.
Zach and Jason said nothing, just glared at Cam. One by one, they filed out, each giving Haley a last look that reminded her of Max when he was waiting to be fed.
They wanted her to stay.
The thrill faded quickly enough at the thunderous look on Cam's face as he carefully shut the door.
"They're-so nice," she finished lamely as he moved toward her.
"Yes," he agreed in a deceptively light voice. "They're very nice. And so meddling, too."
"They just wanted…" She trailed off, suddenly not sure what exactly they wanted.
"Yes?" He waited. "They wanted?"
"Me to stay," she whispered.
"That's right, they do. So do I."
At that unexpected admission, she fumbled, and words abruptly deserted her.
Cam had no such problem, and he advanced on her.
"Just a moment ago, when I came here, you were leaving," he accused in that same low, controlled voice with which he'd just dismissed his family. "You were actually going to walk out of here without a word." He shoved hands through his hair and turned slowly around, as if he needed the space. Then he whirled back, hitting her with those eyes. "After all we'd been through, after all we'd talked about, you would have just left?"
She looked down at her hands to avoid the grief in his voice, the agony in his eyes.
"Why, Haley?"
Her ankle throbbed, but it was nothing compared with the excruciating pain in her heart that his simple words caused. "I can't stay, Cam. You know I can't."
"I know nothing of the kind. There's no reason for you to run away. There's nothing to be frightened of anymore."
She lifted her head. "I'm more frightened now than I've ever been."
"Because of me?"
"Because of what you make me feel."
That was clearly beyond his ability to comprehend. "That's nothing to fear. I love you. For some reason, you think that's not possible, that no one could love you. But you're wrong. Nellie loves you, too, and so do my brothers. They don't want you to leave, either."
"But you're a family."
"Yes. And you've never had much of one around, have you? So let us be your family. Stay with us… Marry me."
Her heart stopped.
"You heard me right," he said, nodding, watching her reaction carefully. "Marry me, Haley."
One of her crutches clattered to the floor. Slowly, his eyes holding hers, Cam bent and retrieved it, but he didn't hand it to her.
"My job," she said weakly, in a voice barely audible. "What happened before-"
"Forget what happened." Tossing the crutch across the bed and out of her reach, he took her wrist in one hand. "As far as your work, do whatever you want, Haley. Work, don't work… I don't care. I want you, and I want you to be happy. With me."
She didn't want to think about what his caressing thumb against her palm did to her pulse. Didn't want to ignite that glimmer of hope in her heart. "I want you to be happy, too, Cam. That's why I'm going."
In a rare burst of temper, Cam snatched the other crutch from her and tossed it the way of the first. It slid noisily from the bed to the floor. "No."
Stepping back from both him and his anger, Haley let out a surprised cry as she remembered her handicap.
Eyes blazing, Cam stopped her fall, pulling her up against his hard, vital body.
"You don't get it, do you?" Tender hands swept over her, holding her close, while his eyes continued to burn. "If you leave me, I'll be as helpless as you are without those crutches." His voice broke, went hoarse as he admitted, "I was so damned lonely before you, Haley. We were both hiding out at the Circle C."
Tears filled her eyes and she tried to avert her face, but he tipped up her head, forcing her to stare at him and feel, see, each and every emotion. "I need you," he whispered in an achingly husky voice. His hands soothed and coaxed a response she didn't mean to give and her body arched against him.
The glimmer of hope roared into a flame and she threw her arms around him, burying her face in his chest.
"You see?" he whispered triumphantly, spinning her around and around. "You need me, too. That doesn't make you weak, Haley. Or less of a person. Need is good. Love is good. We'll fulfill each other."
"I didn't think you could love me anymore," she managed, cupping his face because she couldn't help but touch him. Her lips hovered a breath from his. "Not after what happened. I felt so guilty."
He shook his head and held her closer. "Don't blame yourself. And never, ever, doubt my love for you. Promise me."
She could only nod. For a long moment they clung to each other, but finally she had to say it: "I keep expecting you to change your mind."
He pulled her more firmly to him and bent his head to kiss her neck, her jaw, her face. "I'm never going to do that. Never."
Pleasure made her light-headed. Was it possible? Was it truly possible to be so loved, and to love so much in return? He caught her head in his hands and kissed her deeply enough to have her heart racing. Then he looked at her with an intensity that might have frightened her, except his tone was light and teasing. "You never found out what it was that you said in your sleep last night in the cave."
He kissed her again, before she could say anything, stealing what little breath she had left. His mouth was as firm as his body, and he tasted so good. After a minute, he lifted his head again, waiting-she knew darn well for what. She might have told him right then, but her emotions were raw and she felt dazed, dazzled by what he'd told her, all in one kiss.
And what a kiss it had been. His breath was controlled and deep, but unsteady in a way that told her exactly how affected he was. All she could think was that she no longer had a reason to leave. That he was perfect, and all hers.
Her middle rubbed against him as she leaned back in his embrace to see his expression, and she felt the rigid pressure that brought a gleam of mischief to her eye. "So tell me, now," she whispered with a small smile, her heart beating wildly against her chest. "Tell me what I said. Tell me and maybe… just maybe…" She slid her hips against his, reveling in the hardness she found there. She was rewarded by a muffled groan as he laughed and gripped her tightly.
"You can't distract me that easily." He caught her chin. "You know what I think? I think maybe you know what you said up there on the mountain." He kissed her again, softly this time, his lips barely a whisper against hers. "Don't you?"
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