Abbi Glines - Hold On Tight

Pulling off my hard hat, I stepped out onto the parking lot from the building and headed for my truck. I was done for the day. The crew was rolling and didn’t need me. I’d been out here since five this morning. Squinting against the sun, I was able to make out Preston leaning up against my truck with a smirk on his face. Why was he here? He never showed up at my work sites.

“Just dropped Manda off to get her hair done,” Preston said, looking at me pointedly.

I had no fucking idea what this was about, so I just stood silently and waited for there to be a point to this.

I saw the moment when it finally dawned on him that I had no clue what he was talking about. He pressed his lips together, then shook his head. “You might want to stop by. Say hello,” he said. “Sienna is back.”

I should have known. Each day that passed without my mother calling to yell at me for not telling her that the new neighbor was Sienna, I breathed a sigh of relief. But it was only a matter of time before people in town saw her. And what the hell was she doing at Hillary’s salon? That place was expensive, and from the look of Sienna’s car, she didn’t need to be paying high prices for her damn hair. What about the kid?

“She have her kid with her?” I asked, trying to make the disgust in my voice not too obvious.

“Kid? What? Fuck! She’s got a kid? She married?”

She didn’t have her kid with her. Fan-fuckin’-tastic. She’d left the little boy at home alone. What the hell kind of a mother was she?

“And you knew she was back? With a kid? Why haven’t you said anything?”

“She moved into her parents’ house. I met her kid when I went over there to check out the neighbors for my parents. Didn’t think it was important that she was back. She was a part of Dustin’s life, not mine,” I replied, then jerked open the truck door.

“Liar. Fucking full-of-shit liar. You watched over that girl for years. Hell, when she was a freshman, you acted like her damn guard dog. When she was sent away, it fucked with your head. You were grieving Dustin, and then she was gone and you grieved for her too. I would have thought you’d care that she was back. Unless she’s married and that’s why you’re pissed.”

Pretending like I hadn’t been super invested in Sienna and her happiness back then was pointless. My friends knew the truth, even if my brother hadn’t noticed. “She’s not married,” I replied, and climbed into the truck. “But the girl I cared about is gone. A cold bitch is in her place. And if she’s getting her hair done at Hillary’s, then she’s a selfish bitch. The piece-of-shit car she drives isn’t safe for her boy to ride in.”

I started to close the door, but Preston grabbed it. “Whoa, man, what’s your deal? She’s got you acting like an ass, and you’re not an ass. Sienna is working at Hillary’s, not getting her hair done.”

Maybe I was an ass.

“Oh,” I replied, wishing I hadn’t snapped in front of Preston.

“Yeah, oh. Sienna didn’t seem like a bitch at all. She seemed nice. . . . She was Sienna.”

No, she wasn’t. She was a mother, and she was fucking hiding something.

And if she was working, where the hell was Micah?

“I’m tired. I need a beer and then my bed. I’ll see you later,” I told him.

“Live Bay tomorrow night?” he asked.

Live Bay was the club in town were we all used to drink and pick up women. Now it was just me picking up women. The rest of those assholes were hitched or as good as hitched. “Yeah. I’ll see you there,” I told him as I closed the door. Then I headed to my parents’.

I could tell myself I was going to visit my momma, but the truth was, I was going to make sure Micah wasn’t at home alone. Something about the way Sienna had sent him away from me and gotten defensive bothered me. I wasn’t convinced the woman was mentally stable.

* * *

Once I got to my parents’, I parked beside my dad’s truck and made my way across the street before he realized I was here. I didn’t want a fucking audience, nor did I want his commentary.

Sienna’s car was gone, so she wasn’t home yet. That kid had better not be here. I walked up the steps and knocked on the door. I waited a full minute, and nothing. So I knocked again. Why I was fucking convinced she’d left her kid at home I wasn’t sure. I didn’t know Sienna. I didn’t actually have proof she was crazy.

“Micah, you in there? It’s Dewayne. I thought I’d stop by and check on you,” I called out, but there was only silence.

He wasn’t in there. I was overreacting. Why? I didn’t have a fucking clue. I turned and headed back down the stairs just in time for the beat-up Honda to pull into the driveway. Great. Now I had to explain myself.

Her car door opened and she stepped out. The sunglasses perched on her nose covered up those eyes of hers, so I had no idea what she was thinking. She bent down and then stood back up. I could see the small head scrambling out of the backseat and then heard his feet hit the pavement.

“Dewayne!” he called as he ran around the front of the car with an excited grin. But then he stopped. His smile vanished, and he stiffened and glanced back at his mother.

Sienna closed the car door and walked toward Micah. She rested her hand on his shoulder, bent down to whisper in his ear, then handed him the keys.

He nodded. “Okay,” he said glumly, then headed toward the house, not looking up at me again. When he got to the door, he unlocked it and went inside.

“What are you doing here?” she asked in her very unwelcoming tone. Apparently, the friendly smile she’d had for Preston was not happening for me.

Now, I could either lie to her or tell her the truth. I wasn’t a liar. “Heard you were working. I was concerned the kid was home alone.”

The expression on her face went from shocked to downright pissed. “Alone? You . . . you think that I would leave my son alone?” she asked in a horrified voice. “I’m not an idiot. And if you haven’t noticed, I’m the only family he has. I’m the only one who wanted him and loved him. So don’t”—she pointed her finger at me, her voice rising as fury simmered in her eyes—“act like you give a shit about him now. You DO NOT have the right. Get away from here. Go back over to that house. Forget about what your brother would have wanted. Pretend that abandoning me and his son when we needed SOMEONE was okay.” She was breathing so hard her chest was heaving, and tears had filled her eyes. Then she was running past me, and I couldn’t stop her. I couldn’t fucking move.

Hell . . . I couldn’t fucking breathe.

“Momma?” Micah’s voice called, and I moved then. I spun around and looked at him. Sienna wiped at her face with her arm and bent down to press a kiss to his head and whisper something to him.

He wrapped his little arms around her, and then he turned his head and glared at me. He actually glared at me. My chest exploded into a million pieces as I stood there and stared into the eyes of my brother’s son. How had I not seen it? His eyes were just like Dustin’s.

“Don’t come back here. You made my momma cry!” he yelled at me.

Sienna leaned back and grabbed his little arms gently and started talking to him again. He nodded and turned to go back inside. She stood up and glanced back at me.

The pain in her eyes confused me. Her words confused me. Why did she think we knew about this? Why was she blaming us for not being a part of his life? We didn’t know. She’d left and never come back.

“He’s Dustin’s,” I said as the reality of this finally sank in.

She frowned, and then she slowly nodded.

I dropped my head into my hands and took several deep breaths. Holy fuck, I had to get control of myself. One emotion after another slammed into my chest, taking my breath away. Pain, guilt, anger, disbelief—but more than anything, pure joy. It trumped all the other emotions. For six years I had mourned my brother. It had changed the way I lived my life. There had been only the memories and the mind-numbing guilt that I hadn’t been paying attention to his bad choices. . I had picked a fucking fight with him, and he’d run off behind the wheel drunk. If I had just paid attention to him, he could be alive right now. It was a solid weight on my chest keeping me from finding any joy in life. But now . . .

I dropped my hands and stared back up at Sienna.

Her little boy was a part of Dustin. My brother wasn’t completely gone anymore. He’d left behind something . . . someone.

This didn’t bring him back, but for the first time in six years my heart felt lighter. Not just for me, but for my family.

SIENNA

He hadn’t known about Micah.

He didn’t have to tell me that. It was all over his face. Only once in my life had I seen this intimidating man look on the verge of crumbling, and that had been at Dustin’s funeral. How had he not known? Had his mother not told him?

“Momma? You coming inside?” Micah asked, sounding worried. I had to get inside with him. This was not the place for this. Micah was my first concern, always.

“I can’t do this here,” I told Dewayne. “He doesn’t need to hear it.”

Dewayne’s eyes shifted to the door, but Micah was back inside. Dewayne couldn’t see him. I watched as he swallowed hard and the hint of his Adam’s apple moved. Then he nodded and looked back at me. “Okay, but I have questions. He’s . . . he’s . . . I want to know him, Sienna.”

That one statement meant more to me than Dewayne could ever possibly know. “Then you will,” I replied. “But not now. This isn’t the way to handle it.”

Dewayne tilted his head back, closed his eyes, and let out a heavy sigh. I couldn’t imagine what he was thinking. All along I’d thought he’d known about Micah. This had to be a major shock for him. When he looked back at me, I saw moisture in his eyes, and that alone won this man a place in my heart. For so long I had wanted someone to love Micah and want Micah as fiercely as I did.

“When can we talk?” he asked.

“I only work half days on Saturdays. I could leave Micah at day care a little longer, though I really hate the thought of that. Maybe it would be best to wait until he goes to bed tomorrow night.”

Dewayne frowned. “Day care?”

“Yes,” I replied defensively, not liking the tone of his voice. What did he expect me to do, take him to work with me?

“Can I watch him? I won’t say anything. I swear. I just . . . I want to keep him while you work. We can talk after you get home. Maybe send him outside to play, and we can sit on the porch.”

My instinct to protect wanted to refuse his request. I wasn’t sure how much I trusted Dewayne not to say something to Micah about Dustin. But Dewayne wanted to be a part of his life. And I knew Micah wanted more family. He didn’t ask anymore, but he wanted it. Lately he’d been talking about his dad a lot. He craved a male in his life.

“I need to leave at eight tomorrow,” I told him before I could change my mind.

A relieved smile touched his lips. “I’ll be here,” he replied. Then he turned and walked back across the street. I didn’t wait to see if he was going into his parents’ home. I stepped quickly inside and closed the door behind me.

“You’re gonna let him keep me tomorrow?” Micah asked, wide eyed.

Sighing, I took his hand. We walked over to the sofa and sat down. My legs were too tired from standing all day to squat. When I was at eye level with him, I held both his hands and looked him directly in the eyes. “I know I’ve acted weird around Dewayne. It’s frightened you, and I understand that. But the truth is, I’ve known Dewayne since I was a kid. He’s a good guy. There are things in our past that make me sad, but Dewayne never did anything wrong. I wouldn’t leave you with someone I didn’t trust. I think . . . I think you’re gonna like Dewayne. Spending time with him will be fun. Much better than being stuck in day care on a Saturday.”

Micah chewed on his bottom lip as his eyebrows drew together. This was his thinking face. I let him take in what I’d said. It always took him a minute to make a decision about things. Finally he shrugged and smiled. “Okay. If you trust him, then I think it might be fun to have another man to hang out with.”

I tried hard not to smile. Micah considered himself a man already. He had been the man of the house for a while now.

He glanced over at the kitchen. “Think I could have some mac ’n’ cheese?”

I pulled him into my arms and kissed him on the cheek. “I love you. You’re my world,” I told him. I’d been telling him that since I held him in my arms for the first time. It was the truth, and I never wanted him to forget it.