Teresa Mummert - Honor and Betray

“Want to go to bed?” I whispered against her ear and saw a shiver run through her. I could feel that monster inside of me begin to waken, and I wanted to pick her up and drag her up to that floor. I wanted to see the look in her eyes as I tightened down the straps. I stepped around her and held out my hand for her to take. “Come.”

Her fingers slid into mine, and I couldn’t help but smile as I pulled her toward my bedroom. She stopped as we entered the room, her hand slipping from mine as she stared down at the bed. I couldn’t shake the thought of feeling her skin against mine. I dropped her bag next to the door, pulled my shirt over my head, and tossed it on the floor. She watched as I began to unbuckle my belt, letting my jeans ride low on my hips.

“Maybe I should take the couch.” She looked afraid but the way her chest was rising quickly, I knew she was feeling what I was. She turned toward the door, and without thinking, I wrapped my arms around her waist from behind. My cock strained against my jeans as I pushed against her ass. I groaned as I closed my eyes, breathing in her flowery scent. This was the man she was running from. I needed to keep her safe from that side of me.

“Please don’t leave me,” I whispered against the shell of her ear. Her body relaxed, but I kept my grip firm. “Whatever you want from me…whatever you need from me, I will give it to you. Just please don’t leave me.”

“I want…I need time.”

It took every ounce of strength for me to release her and take a step back. She sighed as she turned back to face me. Her eyes locked on to mine as her fingers began to unbutton her jeans. She slid them over her hips and pushed them down. I did the same, never taking my eyes off hers.

She swallowed hard as she climbed into the bed and slid under the covers, curling on her side away from me. I crawled in beside her, forcing myself to keep distance between our bodies. I deserved the torture of being next to her and not being allowed to hold her. But we both knew that holding her wasn’t all I wanted.

Emma reached under the blanket, and I felt her body wiggle as she pulled her shirt up over her head and tossed it on the floor, and I was unable to breathe. I wasn’t strong enough. I reached out like a moth drawn to a flame and slid my fingers across her hip. I wasn’t the moth, though. I was the flame that would consume Emma if given the chance. I had done it once, and if I wanted to have her in my life, I couldn’t let that happen again. I was on my side, looking at the top of her bared back as I gently pulled on her hip, causing her to fall on her back. I looked down at her, quivering as she stared back at me. I ran my fingers over her jaw, and her lips parted.

My mouth inched closer to hers, but I refused to act. I couldn’t allow myself to be the man on the third floor. I needed to be what she wanted. Her chest began to rise and fall more rapidly as her breath blew across my mouth.

She pushed against my shoulder and I fell onto my back, certain she had made her decision, but her leg slid over my waist, brushing against my hard cock, and she lifted herself to straddle my waist.

She gripped my boxers and began to tug them down, her nails biting into my skin. I slid a hand over her hipbone, struggling against the urge to pull her down against me.

“I need you, Emma. Please…” I didn’t want to take her. There would be no turning back if I let that side of me that lingered below the surface come out. I slipped my fingers just inside the fabric of her panties, rubbing against her inner thigh.

“Aah…” she panted, and I ran my tongue over my lips, wanting to taste the delicate flesh between her thighs.

“Rip them,” she panted, and my eyes connected with hers. She was begging for the monster. “Rip them,” she repeated. I didn’t know how close to the edge I could go before I couldn’t stop myself from giving in to what I wanted, but I wasn’t strong enough to resist her. I gripped the fabric in my fingers and tugged them, ripping them from her body and tossing them on the floor. She grabbed both my wrists, and her body fell on top of mine as she held my hands on either side of my head.

Her lips hovered over mine as she rotated her hips, running her wet pussy against my cock. We both moaned as she repeated the action. I pushed back against her, wanting to grind against her clit.

“I want to touch you,” I groaned as I pushed against her again. She sucked my bottom lip in her mouth and gently bit down.

“Fuck,” I growled as I lifted my hands from the bed, pushing against her grip. Her power was an illusion, and we both knew it, but she needed to feel in control.

“Bad boy,” she smirked as she slid her dripping slit up the length of me again. Her tongue flicked out and ran over my upper lip. I lifted my head, taking her mouth with mine. She whimpered, and her lips parted, letting me fuck her mouth with my tongue. My hips ground against hers, and she melted against me.

“Do you enjoy teasing me?” I asked and pushed my tongue back inside her mouth more forcefully. It didn’t matter if she was on top of me; I was going to control this.

“You don’t like it?”

“I’ll take you any way I can get you.” Visions of the ways I wanted her flashed through my mind. I would have her every one of those ways in time. As her clit pressed against the head of my cock, I pulled back and pushed against her entrance, thrusting inside of her in one quick motion. She whimpered, but her thighs widened so I could fill her completely. She buried her face in my neck as I fucked her, her hips pushing back against mine with equal need.

“God…I love you,” she moaned into my neck, and my body froze. I had been wrong. I wasn’t the one in control. Emma owned me with those three little words.

“You love me?” I asked, but she lay frozen on top of me, her face buried in my neck.

“Look at me.” My voice shook as I prepared to look her in the eye. I needed to see the truth, to know that she felt what I did inside.

Her head slowly turned, and her sad, frightened eyes locked on to mine. There was more there behind the pain and the hurting, and it was undeniable. I slowly raised my hips, sliding deep inside of her. Her body began to move with mine, and we kept focused on each other as her body tightened around me, begging me to come with her. I filled her as she moaned, giving in to her own pleasure. In that moment, I became hers. I knew I would never be able to think of anyone else. As her body stopped trembling, she slid off me and curled up on her side, facing away from me.

I rolled onto my side, wrapping my arms around her from behind and pulling her against my chest. I trailed kisses down over her shoulder, and her body shook under my lips. I knew she was crying, and I didn’t know what to do. She had just professed her love for me, and now she was sobbing silently as I held her in my arms.

I cradled Emma until her body stilled and her breathing evened out and eventually deepened.

I awoke at the crack of dawn, my body tangled with Emma’s. She looked peaceful, no hint of the inner turmoil she had when she had fallen asleep. I unwrapped myself from her and made my way to the kitchen. I prepared a fresh pot of coffee as I leaned over the counter, fisting my hands in my hair as I thought over my nightmare from the previous night.

I was in a crowded club and watching Emma in the middle of the dance floor with another guy. He kept touching her, and I begged her to stop, but she ignored my pleas. My head began to throb as I struggled to remember what had happened next. It was a blur of anger and desperation as I watched myself cut the brake line to the guy’s car.

A sound from behind me caught my attention, and I spun around to see Emma sitting at the island. I had not heard her come out of the room.

“Sorry.” She tucked her hair behind her ear as she looked over at me. I rolled my neck from side to side, stretching it as I tried to block the thought of another man’s hands on her. I didn’t know if it was a memory or just a fear. I grabbed the pot of coffee and filled our mugs, placing one in front of her. I grabbed the milk from the fridge and waited for her to dump sugar into her cup before I topped it off with a splash of milk.

She watched me spin the sugar container in my hand, and I caught the faint memory of her reaching for it. Next, I was inside of her, taking her from behind. My gaze fell to her while she was deep in thought. Her eyes slowly rose to meet mine, and her cheeks flushed as the incident crossed her mind. Mine. My eyes narrowed.

“Do you… remember anything new?” she asked as I searched her eyes, the nagging feeling that I wasn’t the only one who had secrets in this relationship.

“I wish I did.” My gaze fell to the sugar. I let it go and grabbed my mug, taking a sip.

“Hungry?” I asked as I made my way to the fridge and began to pull out ingredients for breakfast.

“I think I’ll skip breakfast,” she sighed. I began to crack eggs into a bowl, adding a splash of milk and a few spices. My mind wandered as I struggled to see through the fog of my memories. I cut up some cheeses and meats as I waited for my frying pan to heat up on the stove. She didn’t speak as I prepared our meal, but I could feel her eyes on me as I worked.

His face—I could see the face of the guy she danced with. But it wasn’t in the club that I was face to face with him. It was an apartment, and he and Emma were in the bedroom. My gut twisted, and I could feel myself slipping away to the monster that lurked just below the surface.

I turned from the stove and placed a plate of food in front of her.

“I don’t think I can.” She placed a hand over her stomach as I took the seat next to her and began to cut up my food.

“You need to eat something.” I put a bite of omelet in my mouth as she watched me, and my eyes met hers.

“I’m fine, really.” She smiled.

“Eat.” I tried to hide the twinge of frustration from my voice, but I was becoming less patient. I knew I hadn’t been a saint, but if Emma were aware of what type of person I was, why would she have pushed my buttons?

She picked up her fork with a bite of egg and blew on it before sticking it in her mouth. “Thanks.” She smiled, and I returned the gesture, pleased that she was listening to me. Good girl.

I finished eating my food in silence as I tried to push the few memories that had surfaced from my mind. I grabbed out plates and started to make my way to the sink to clean the dishes. Emma’s hand grabbed my wrist. “Why don’t you let me get that?” She pushed to her feet and took the plates from my hands.

I followed her to the sink and wrapped my arms around her waist as she scrubbed them clean.

“William…” her voice trailed off.

“Shh…” I whispered against her neck, tasting the salt of her flesh as the memory of having her bent over the counter and fucking her replayed in my mind.

“I don’t think we should do this.” I could hear the uncertainty in her voice.

“Don’t think.” My hand slid over her belly and into the top of her panties. I needed to hear her say those words again. I needed to know that my own mind was betraying me and that Emma was mine—no one else’s.

“I can’t.” her words knocked the air from my lungs, and I stilled my hand before pulling away from her completely. I ran my hands roughly through my hair, struggling not to scream. Maybe having her here was just more of the torture. I was stuck in purgatory. She turned to face me, and I struggled to hold on to my last thread of sanity.

“What’s the problem?” I reached out for her, but she pressed her back against the edge of the sink. It was a slap in the face.

“You don’t remember…you don’t…” Tears filled her eyes as she swallowed against the lump in her throat.

I stepped closer to her and rubbed the back of my fingers over her cheek. Beautiful, broken girl. I didn’t know if she wanted me to remember what I had done to her or if she wanted me to forget the things she had done to me. I was willing to block it all out just to keep her in my arms.

“It doesn’t matter. Whatever happened doesn’t matter now. We are here. We both want to be with each other. Why fight it?” I ran my thumb over the corner of her eye to catch a tear that threatened to fall, and her eyes closed.

“I may not know what I did to hurt you so badly, but I know that we once loved each other. I know you still love me or you wouldn’t be here right now.” I swallowed hard as I struggled to continue. “I know it hurts you to be with me, but you are willing to suffer through the pain to be by my side.” I moved closer until my body pressed tight against hers. “I know I love you too. I can feel it.”