I saw the rock.

I saw his climb.

I just didn’t let myself believe that he could fall. With no harness, no support, no gears, just himself—it’s a huge possibility.

But I would never tell him not to do something he loves.

I’m just going to pray that no freak accidents happen, no bad weather rolls in—that he goes up and comes back down without problem.

I wrap my arms tighter around his back, loving the feeling of the wind whipping around us on the motorcycle. I try to shelve my concern for Ryke. He doesn’t need my worry while he’s halfway up El Capitan. He just needs his strength and confidence.

All of this talk has clenched my stomach, and I make an impulsive, rash decision. Albeit one that’s not even remotely safe. One that’s probably dangerous like free-soloing, but definitely not as dangerous. One of my feet already lifts and rests on the seat cushion. I hold onto Ryke’s back as I lift the other, crouching while he hunches over the bike, speeding down a flat road.

I can’t see his expression behind his black helmet. He sits up, causing my hands to rise to his shoulders, and I stand up fully. Oh…wow. I am standing on the back of the motorcycle. Behind him. He taps my leg three times, which is our signal to “sit the fuck down.”

I tap his shoulder twice, which doesn’t mean anything. But we’ve never come up with a gesture for: I want to fly.

He squeezes my leg. Hold on, he’s telling me.

I’m not going to let go of him.

He puts his hand on the brake, and the motorcycle begins to slow. I tap his arm once. Faster.

He looks back at me a few times, hesitating. I drape one arm over his shoulder, on his chest to show him that I’m not going anywhere. And he holds onto that hand while he switches gears, pumping his foot, and then we’re off. Returning to a high speed.

The force almost propels me back, but he clutches so tightly that I stay upright. And my legs have solidified to stone, not going anywhere. I laugh, the noise only in my helmet, but it exists.

I am flying.

Second star to the right and straight on ‘til morning.

It lasts for a glorious five minutes. And then the bike decelerates again, and it rumbles to the emergency lane. I sit back on the seat as Ryke goes off-roading towards a looming red rock with more rocks stacked on top. Rocks on top of rocks. It’s really cool even if it sounds lame. We’ve seen rams—like with giant horns—along with mountain lions on our way here, so I wonder if he’s spotted an animal.

That doesn’t sound right though.

Ryke wouldn’t drive towards wild animals on the side of the road.

That’s too crazy for him.

That’s something I’d do.

The moment the bike stops, I take off my helmet. “Are you mad?” I ask. Maybe I misread his signals. I mean, he definitely said “sit the fuck down.” But “hold on” could have been something else entirely.

He turns off the engine and kicks out the stand. The sportbike has a slight lean, but not bad. I don’t climb off yet, even as he does.

“Turn around,” he demands after removing his helmet. He runs his hand through his hair, his eyes narrowed at me. But he’s not angry exactly.

“What do you mean?” I barely register what he said, too busy trying to make sense of his emotions.

“Turn around.” He motions to the front of the bike. He…he wants me to… I smile. He wants me to ride backwards like I tried to practice in the garage.

I excitedly switch legs over the seat, my back facing the handlebars as I lean against the gas can. I remember the first day he taught me how to ride a motorcycle. After heading to a grocery store parking lot, I killed the engine and rolled to a stop with a big smile. Only, I was dragging my boots the whole way, messing around.

He told me, “Pick up your fucking feet, Calloway, unless you want to lose them.” He wanted to teach me the right way first, and then months later, the next time I killed the engine and dragged my feet, he just shook his head. He trusted me enough not to scold me. He didn’t think the bike would fall on me or I’d run over my foot by that time.

But I haven’t really earned any trust to ride backwards yet. So I doubt those are his true intentions. The mystery intrigues me more and more, and I study his features to solve it. He straddles the bike, facing me, tossing his helmet aside.

Don’t need those. Okay. I toss mine too, my heart beating wildly before my mind catches up with me. My body knows what’s about to happen. I swallow hard, and when his eyes meet mine, my heart thuds a few times. He wears a carnal look. Like he’s ready to devour me whole.

Oh God.

My lips part, desperate for air like I’m crawling up a mountain.

We’re on a motorcycle.

Together.

And.

And.

I can’t think it. I just feel it.

I can’t believe this is about to happen. 

< 47 >

RYKE MEADOWS

I’ve never been this fucking aroused in my life. With her standing on the back of the motorcycle, I went from fear to desire in a minute flat. After I was certain she was safe, I kept picturing her behind me. I kept picturing what she looked like, holding onto my shoulders, one of my hands gripping hers. And then my mind rerouted and I pictured her legs spread open and my entire cock filling her.

I want this, right here, with her. My fucking body aches for it, and my mind is through hesitating. I remember how many times we’ve been on a bike together, and how restrained we’ve been. It all fucking flies out the window.

My mouth meets hers, and we consume each other with each fucking kiss, more natural, more animalistic than anything I’ve felt before. My core screams for her, as though she’s mine and only mine, and I’ve finally returned home.

I don’t want to spend an extra ten minutes stripping, so I reach into my boot and grab my knife. Her eyes widen, glimmering with that beautiful curiosity. She goes rigid, careful not to fidget while I unhook the button on her jeans and cut the fabric to the pocket. I sheath my knife in my boot, and rip the jeans even more with one forceful movement. Her yellow panties are exposed, and I easily tear those off her body. She’s already dripping and ready for me.

My cock fucking screams for release.

“Ryke,” she breathes, her mouth open. I kiss her, holding the back of her head, and she practically whimpers underneath me.

Fuck. I suck her neck while my fingers fill her. She’s wetter than I’ve ever felt, and it’s not long before her body bucks up into mine, her cry piercing the open air. We’re shielded from the road, private for the most part, but it’s still new. It’s still a place I’ve never fucked, and what we’re about to do, I’ve never done.

On a motorcycle.

With a girl I fucking love.

I would smile if my body wasn’t so pent up, ready to drive into her and fuck her hard and sweet. I unzip my pants, lowering them below my ass along with my boxer-briefs. And then I grab her legs and spread them wider before I guide myself inside her, slowly. I watch her reaction, making sure I don’t hurt her.

She clutches my neck and starts rocking her hips before I’m even halfway in. So I go all the way. She cries and stops pushing forward, her noise seriously fucking messing with my head. It’s high-pitched and full of unbridled pleasure, full of torrid lust.

I burn when I watch her, when I hear her, my senses blistering into ash.

“Dais,” I say forcefully, reaching above her to grip the handlebar. It allows me to push deeper. Once. Twice. My erection fitting perfectly inside of Daisy.

She cries, her eyelids fluttering.

I lift her leg higher around my waist, and she breathes like she’s having a panic attack.

“I can’t…” She shakes her head from side to side.

I kiss her lips and slow down for a second. “You can, Dais.” I know. It’s fucking intense. These feelings are blinding.

And we’re on a bike, straddling it together. I drop her leg and pull her closer to my chest so she’s in a sitting position. Instinctively her feet rest on the seat behind me, her legs tucked around my waist.

She tightens around my cock as I thrust against her. I put my hand on her lower back, a grunt scratching my throat. Fuck.

“This is—” she starts and then she cries out, her sudden climax forcing her body to me, I hold onto her and only have to thrust two more times before I release, my mind breaking into a million fucking shards. As she pulses, descending off that cliff, she begins to laugh with so much happiness.

It’s a full-bellied, world-altering laugh. Even as she takes a moment to engrain this image in her head, the two of us, as intimate and close as you can be, on this sportbike, she still smiles like it’s the best picture in the world.

She meets my gaze. “This was the best ride you’ve taken me on so far.”

I kiss her strongly and then say, “Want to go again?”

She answers by wrapping her arms around my neck and scooting closer, her grin brightening the universe.

The red dust whips around us. I don’t give a fuck. I make love to her like it’s the most primal experience in the world.

Like it’s what our bodies are created to do.

< 48 >

RYKE MEADOWS

I ride through the night. Daisy sleeps in my arms for some of it, straddled backwards and facing me. I think she averages about four hours of sleep a day, which is better than what she had been doing off Ambien. But I wish I could hold her in my arms through the night, with no restlessness, no moment where she wakes and struggles to return to that peace. I just want what she had—before the media, before the mental trauma.

She is making more progress. We stayed at a hotel one night, and I didn’t have to do our routine, showing her that I locked every single door and checking the shower. She could sleep for a couple hours without that knowledge and feel safe.

I kiss the top of her head and drive on.

The sunrise breaks across the horizon, oranges and reds spilling together. Out west, the quiet atmosphere tranquilizes me, clearing my head. I thought I could show this to my brother. I thought that we could share it, but circumstances or fate or whatever split us apart.

To have this time with Daisy means just as much, but I do recognize that each moment spent with her is a moment away from Lo during his recovery. A part of me is glad to be in Utah, meeting up with him, so I can be there if he needs me.

The other half selfishly wants to go back to the fantasy I had with Daisy—to hide for just a few hours longer before reality comes crashing into us.

I turn a corner and the bike rattles on a gravel road, stirring Daisy from her sleep. I park by a lookout point and remove her helmet before I take off mine.

She rubs her eyes and squints against the sunlight. “What time is it?” she asks with a yawn.

“Morning.”

“Very…” she yawns again. “…accurate.” She turns her head to catch the sunrise, the warm glow bathing her face in color. “It’s gorgeous…”

It has nothing on her.

My phone buzzes in my pocket, and she wraps her arms around my waist while I check it with one hand.

We’re in the Canyonlands. I’ll send you a pin. You can meet us there – Connor

I receive the pin and check the map. “We’re ten minutes away,” I tell Daisy. “They’re already there. You ready to see your sisters?”

She nods, but I can see the slight apprehension in her eyes. Outing our relationship to them is the first step before she has to tell her mom. A woman who fucking despises my guts, and I worry once she sees Daisy’s face, she’ll hate me even more.

We put our helmets back on, and she changes positions, sitting behind me. I take off, heading in the right direction.

Seven minutes later, I roll up somewhere by the Green River, not very much traffic around. Mammoth canyons and red rock structures landscape the area. I recognize the black SUV parked by the start of a hiking trail, but I don’t see any of them around.

I check the pin again and realize they’ve hiked towards one of the arches, made from the same red rock. They’re popular formations, so I’m not surprised they’re beside it. I’m just surprised Rose would walk in her five-inch fucking heels to go there.