Emily Carmichael - How To Lasso A Cowboy

“Heave ho,” Ransom said as his horse put tension on the rope. “Push, Sean. Lean into her.”

“Go to hell.” But Sean pushed. The cow bawled her distress, raised her tail, and treated Sean to a stream of greenish brown cow plop.

Tess howled with laughter. She couldn’t help it. Her brother covered with steaming dung was a sight to treasure in her memory. Her sides nearly split.

Sean didn’t see the humor. Between moans and curses, he vainly searched for water to wash off the stuff, which spattered his chest and dotted his face. The creek offered no water, though. Only mud.

Tess took mercy on him. “Take my canteen,” she offered. “It will rinse some of it off.”

He waved it angrily away, still cursing the cow, Josh, Tess, the ranch, the mud, and the whole bovine population in general, which made Tess laugh yet again. In the meantime, the cow, with Josh’s horse steadily pulling, managed to struggle free of the mud. She shook herself and bawled as Josh flipped the rope from her horns. In response, her calf trotted in their direction. Still muttering and waving his arms in disgust, Sean started for his horse. Like some greenhorn, he made the mistake of getting between the distraught mama cow and her calf. Mama, already on edge from her ordeal, saw the man in her line of vision and did what any cranky range cow would do. She charged. Sean looked up to see a thousand pounds of beef bearing down upon him with tossing horns and distended nostrils.

Tess reacted in midlaugh, digging heels into Ranger and leaping forward to head off the charge even as Rojo rushed forward, barking frantically. But Josh got there ahead of both of them. He careened his horse into the angry cow’s beefy shoulder, making her stumble and go down on her knees. The move was both gutsy and dangerous-and probably the only one that could have saved Sean from becoming part of the soil layer.

Sean made a dash for his horse. The bewildered cow got to her feet, shook her head, and with Rojo’s loud encouragement, ambled off toward her calf.

“And you ask why I want to sell the ranch!” Sean growled. Less than an hour after they got back to the ranch, he packed his gear, saddled his horse, and rode off without so much as a huffy goodbye.

The story of Sean’s rescue got passed around the ranch faster than Rosie’s hot biscuits. Josh became the hero of the day. He had won the men’s admiration when he’d stuck with Nitro alongside Tess, but saving a fellow cowboy (even though Sean hardly qualified as a cowboy, in Tess’s opinion) sent him right up the ladder to a pedestal. The next morning, he just about elevated himself to sainthood when he led Nitro out of the barn with a saddle on his back, mounted, and in full view of everyone, rode the stallion one circuit of the corral and dismounted, still in one piece. The stallion tossed his head and regarded the man disdainfully- just to keep his dignity intact-but otherwise, he behaved like a wellbroke mount. Among the onlookers, jaws dropped, eyes widened.

“Whoohoo!” Henry shouted, once Josh had both feet safely back on the ground. “Ride that sucker, Josh!”

Miguel tapped Tess’s shoulder with a fist. “We found you a good one, eh, Miss Tess?”

Could the day get more annoying? Tess wondered. “You didn’t find him, and he’s not a ‘good one,’ okay? And he’ll be leaving soon.”

As she stalked into the house, Miguel grinned at Rosie. “If I hooked a mighty fine fish, I wouldn’t be so anxious to throw him back.”

Rosie shook her head in disgust. “What men don’t know about women is pathetic.”

As soon as they finished the midday meal, Tess saddled two horses-one for her and one for Josh-and announced that they would ride into town for a talk with lawyer Bartlett. She was good and married, and had been for a week. The time had come for Bartlett to cough up the deed to her ranch.

“Look convincing,” she advised her husband. “When I get that deed in my hand, you get your three hundred dollars.”

“Four hundred,” he reminded her. “Remember Nitro.”

Oh yes. That foolish offer she’d made. Who would have thought the man would make good on his boast? “It’s a good thing you’re not staying longer,” she grumbled. “I can’t afford you.”

Still, riding beside him on the way to town felt strangely pleasant. Tess had gotten used to his presence beside her in bed, and after the strangeness had worn off, his warm bulk on the other side of the rolledup quilt had made the nights less lonely. Before this last week, Tess hadn’t realized her nights were lonely. She did now.

And the men liked having him around. After just this short time, they trusted him. Even Miguel liked him. Rosie had hinted that Tess having a husband might not be such a bad thing after all, as long as that husband was a “damned solid cowboy” like Josh.

The very fact that Tess entertained such a thought just pointed up the dire need to have the fellow gone. Some builtin weakness in the female constitution must turn a girl’s brain to mush the minute she started keeping company with a halfdecent man. Yes, Josh Ransom-she wouldn’t be forgetting that name again-did qualify as a halfdecent sort of fellow. He had guts. He had a way with horses. He knew cattle almost as well as she did. Okay, just as well as she did. He had all his teeth, didn’t stink more than any other man who worked hard and wore the sweat to prove it, and he knew enough to take off his mucky boots before coming into the house. Someone had brought him up to manners. What’s more, in spite of Tess finding him in such a sorry state at the Bird Cage, he hadn’t touched a drop of liquor since coming to the Diamond T.

Quite a catch, all in all, if a girl were fishing for a husband. Which Tess wasn’t. Definitely wasn’t. Didn’t need one, didn’t want one, and for sure she would get used to sleeping alone in the blink of an eye. The sooner she sent Josh Ransom on his way, the happier she would be.

Therefore, Tess got very unhappy when lawyer Bartlett refused to cough up her deed.

“Now, then, Tess. Don’t be so impatient,” he advised. “You know your daddy wanted to see you settled like a woman should be settled. That’s why he wrote his will the way he did.”

“I am settled,” Tess gritted from between her teeth. She took Josh by the arm and pulled him forward for inspection. “I’m married, dadgummit. A whole week. Just ask Preacher Malone.”

Bartlett gave Josh a passing glance, as if he were an offering that failed to measure up. “I believe the will’s exact words were ‘settled into marriage.’Your brother, Sean, came by my office earlier this morning and expressed grave doubts as to the nature and commitment of your marriage, Tess.”

“What do you mean nature and commitment?” she cried. Only a lawyer would use words such as those. Her fists balled at her sides, nails digging into her palms.

Then Josh took one of those hands, uncurled it, and interweaved their fingers, just as a real husband might have done. In a reasonable, mantoman voice, he brought the conversation back to a civilized level. “Mr. Bartlett, I think Sean McCabe’s motive is pretty obvious, and I’m surprised you’re lending him an ear.”

The warmth of that masculine hand supporting hers eased the knot in Tess’s stomach. In fact, she felt amazingly light, as if she could have floated toward the pressedtin ceiling of Bartlett’s office.

“The way I understand it,” Josh said calmly, “Tess has fulfilled the terms of her father’s will, and now she wants the deed to the Diamond T in her name and in her safekeeping. That seems both legal and reasonable to me.”

Bless the man. Bless him, bless him, bless him.

Bartlett looked him up and down, as if just now recognizing he was part of this. “Mr…uh…”

“Ransom.”

“Mr. Ransom. Do you have a sister?”

“Yes sir, I do.”

“Then you should understand that a brother’s instinct is to take care of his sister. I don’t know if Tess told you this, but Sean McCabe proposed shortly after their father’s death that the ranch be sold and the proceeds split between them, because he knew that Tess wasn’t inclined to marry, and half the proceeds from the Diamond T would set her up in modest circumstances where she could live securely without having to waste her life on backbreaking ranch work that is difficult even for a man. That is not the proposal of a greedy, unprincipled man, as you seem to imply Sean is.”

The idea of selling the ranch that had been in her family three generations made Tess want to spit, but Josh tightened his hand around hers.

“Mr. Bartlett,” Josh said in that reasonable voice of his, “do you have a legal right to withhold the deed?”

“I believe the wording of the will demands it.”

Tess thought the lawyer’s smile looked like a rattlesnake’s snide grin.

“Don’t worry, Tess.” Bartlett gave her arm a condescending pat. If Josh hadn’t been restraining her, the lawyer might have lost a hand. “What difference does it make whether the deed is in my desk for a bit more? As you say, you’re married. Soon it will be obvious to everyone that your marriage wasn’t an impulsive act meant only to secure the Diamond T.”

Tess couldn’t think of a reply that didn’t involve cussing. Fortunately, Ransom had more presence of mind. He said something stiff about retaining their own lawyer while tugging Tess toward the door. She scarcely heard what he said, distracted as she was picturing her daddy, his lawyer, and her brother all staked out on an anthill.

“I’ll see you at the barn dance tomorrow tonight, won’t I?” Bartlett said as they went out the door.

Tess got out the “Fat” of “Fat chance!” before Josh firmly shushed her.

“Maybe,” he replied.

“Dadgummit!” Tess growled once they reached the safety of the street. “That snake! He’s never liked me. Always told my daddy that he’d raised me to be a heathen. He can’t do this!”

Josh put a finger to her lips to shut her up. “Tess, you need to get a lawyer to handle this for you.”

“Bartlett’s the only lawyer in town.”

“There are other towns.”

“Lawyers and their fancy words and sneaky ways. If it hadn’t been for a lawyer, my daddy would never have thought of that stupid will. Just give me a few days. I’ll think of something. I will.”

The twitch of muscle at the hinge of Josh’s jaw told Tess he had run out of patience.

“Ransom, honest! Just a few more days.”

His mouth a tight line, he held up two fingers. “Two days. Then I’m leaving, Tess. You can make up any story you want to explain why I’m gone, and you can honor your deal or not. Two days, and I’m gone.”

TESS LOOKED AT herself in Rosie’s fulllength mirror and made a face. “Two days,” she said in a mockery of Josh’s voice. “Two days and I’m gone. You can take that news and stick it up your-”

“Tess!” Rosie scolded. “When you’re dressed like a lady, you should talk like a lady.”

Tess snorted. “These sleeves are cutting off my arms.”

“I can let out the seams,” Rosie offered. “Most ladies don’t have so much muscle in their shoulders and arms.”

“Well, pardon me for working every day to make a living.”

Tess couldn’t believe the woman who looked from the mirror was her. She felt like a little girl playing dressup in her mother’s clothes. Actually, this dress had never belonged to her mother. Her mother had been an aristocrat from Mexico-small, refined, and delicate. Whenever Tess looked at her mother’s wedding portrait, she felt like a gorilla. No, this dress was one of Rosie’s best, decked out with flounces, lace, and ribbon. It was tight in the waist, loose in the bust, and inches too short.

Tess thought she looked dadgummed silly dressed in bows and flounces with her hair not sensibly braided, but tortured into curls that kept falling in her face. But Rosie surveyed her with warm, approving eyes. “I haven’t worn that dress since I was your age and just married. That was before my bones got the padding they have today. It may be out of style, but it makes you look like a princess. I’ll just add a flounce to the hem, let out the waist…” She gave Tess’s chest a dubious frown. “Maybe we can stuff a couple of kerchiefs up there. We don’t want you to look like you’re lacking.”

“Dadgummit, Rosie! You aren’t getting anywhere near me with any kerchiefs. Not unless they’re going around my neck or on my head!”

“Don’t be so testy, dear. I know this feels strange to you, but we agreed, you, me, and Miguel, that the best way to make your husband stick around longer is for you to get him a little bit interested. It’s nothing to be ashamed of, sweetie. Women have been doing this since Eve. It’s tradition.”

“Not with me, it isn’t.” Tess extricated herself from the dress and managed to escape with only two pricks from Rosie’s pins.