Laurelin Paige - Hudson

“Hudson.” Her voice is breathy and full of want. She steps toward me. “If this is misbehaving, please don’t stop.” She slides my shirt off my shoulders—damn, I hadn’t even noticed she’d worked open the buttons—then leans forward and licks my chest.

Involuntarily, I groan. “At least let me take you to a bed. If you keep this up, I’m going to fuck you against the door.” Now I’m thinking about fucking her against the door. Which would be goddamn hot as hell, but so not what she deserves.

“That doesn’t sound like the worst thing in the world,” she murmurs as I lead her to my bedroom.

I put door-fucking on my mental to-do list. “No, it doesn’t.” At the bed, I pull her into my arms and bury my face in her neck. “But I won’t be able to savor you properly and I’ll forever regret it.”

And I want to savor her. I want to make her feel good. I know she’s never been pleased the way I’ll please her. Not because I think I’m a better lover than she’s had—though that’s probably true—but because I won’t let it be any other way.

Now, I need her breasts in my mouth.

I pull her shirt off, my eyes widening at how fuck-hot she looks in her black lace underwear. But I want her naked. I unclasp her bra and toss it to the ground. Alayna pushes toward me, seemingly wanting to hide. I can’t have that. I have to feast on her with my eyes. I hold her so I can see her.

God, she’s perfect.

“I imagined you’d have beautiful breasts, Alayna. But I had no idea…” I can’t even speak. My eyes glued to her tits, I push her to sit on my bed. Then I kneel in front of her and feast with my mouth. Cupping her breast with a hand, I tease my tongue across her nipple. She takes a shaky breath, but this isn’t going to do it for her, I realize. She wants it rough.

Thank fuck.

With a growl, I take her pink peak into my mouth, sucking and tugging, first one breast then the other. She cries out, gasping and clutching my hair. I could probably make her climax just like this. She’s so fucking sexy with her sounds and her scent that I’m about to come in my pants.

I force my mouth to move down, kissing along her stomach. “You’re so responsive. I could spend all day sucking your gorgeous tits.” I push her down to the bed. “But there’s so much of you to adore.”

I remove her shorts and panties. She asks about her shoes. I glance down at them. They’re at least three-inch heels. She looks so goddamned delicious wearing them—I want her wearing only them. “I want them digging into my back when you wrap your legs around me,” I tell her.

She shivers, and I’m euphoric. I already learned she likes it rough. Now I know she likes to be dominated as well. I’d have given her whatever she wanted, but rough and dominant are how I like to fuck the best. Pleasing her is going to be easier than I thought. And a shit ton of fun.

“Lean on your elbows,” I command. She does and I bend her legs up and part her thighs. Jesus Christ. I let out a long stream of air as I trail my hands up the inside of her legs. “You’re so fucking sexy like this. All spread out for me.” I see her cunt clench as I run my fingers down her slit. “You want me. Look how your pretty pussy throbs.”

I want her too. My cock is pulsing.

But I barely notice it. My focus is completely on Alayna. I continue to tease her with my fingers. When I can’t stand it anymore, I replace my hand with my mouth, licking her, tasting her, sucking her. She comes quickly, but I want her to have more. I want to give her more.

“Again.” I plunge my fingers in her hole and fuck her with my hand while I suck and tug on her clit. She’s close—I can feel her trembling under my tongue—so I reach my hand up and pull on her nipples. This sends her over the edge. Her cunt clenches around my fingers as she thrashes against the bed. I’m so mesmerized by her beauty that a part of me wants to watch her until she’s ridden the entire wave.

But more than that, I want to be inside of her. I take off my pants and find a condom. She’s still quivering by the time I climb over her. I lean on my forearms. “You’re ready for me,” I say, more for myself than her. My cock is pressing at her opening, and I know I can’t hold back any longer. Yet, the moment I enter her, I fear I will lose everything of myself.

I hope I will lose everything of myself.

It’s the hope that allows me to push my tip in. “Jesus, Alayna.” I’m already in heaven and I haven’t even fully entered her. “You feel so goddamn good.”

She’s so snug, so tight. I push her thigh back, widening her, and I slide the rest of the way in. “So good.” Alayna’s adjusted to me now. I pull out all the way slowly. I consider taking my time working up to a steady tempo. But that isn’t how either of us wants it. So when I drive back in, I thrust hard.

She cries out, her face twisted in pleasure. I lean down and kiss her, fucking her mouth with my tongue as I continue to pound into her cunt. Though I’m lost in the complete ecstasy of her, I’m ever mindful of her needs. Soon she’s rocking against me, writhing to meet each plunge. I need to get her where she wants to be.

Without slowing my barrage, I direct her to wrap her legs around me. She does, and the new position opens her up even further. The heels of her shoes dig into my ass. I’m so deep inside her.

And it’s then—as my balls slap against her with each drive, as her body tightens and contracts against my cock, as I reach the peak of my own release—it’s then that my fears and hopes are realized. I am completely lost in Alayna Withers. Figuratively and literally. Completely and inescapably lost.

She trembles beneath me. Does she know what I’m thinking? Is she as moved by this revelation as I am?

“I’m going to come,” she groans.

“Yes. Yes, come, Alayna.” Because I can’t hold on much longer and I want to go with her.

I want to go with her wherever she goes.

Her orgasm crashes through her and I follow, shouting her name, flying with her. And I feel a release that transcends the climax of our sexual activity. A release of unspoken words. This moment we’ve just had together, it’s the most I’ve shared with any woman. As though we weren’t simply fucking but communicating. As though we’d invented our own language, and through it, I was finally able to speak emotions that I never knew dwelled within me.

Or I just had a really good fucking orgasm and I’m poetic with hormones.

I collapse onto Alayna, my head cradled in her neck. I hope it’s more than hormones. I hope I’m not waxing poetic. Whatever the cause of my emotional epiphany, the experience was really, really good. I’m more intrigued by her than ever. More tied to her than I ever thought possible.

This, though—this is the only way I can have her. In a bed. With my body. Because I have nothing else to give to her. I have nothing else that I can share with her. The want to be with her elsewhere is fantastical. It’s a whim, a silly impulse that must be controlled.

And since this is all we will have that is real, I cling to it in a way that makes me think of a little child clutching a security blanket. It’s overdramatized and slightly pathetic but genuine all at once.

I whisper into her skin, needing to share this feeling with her in whatever way I can. “I knew sex with you would be like that. Powerful and intense and fucking incredible. I knew it.”

It’s a lie, though. I had no idea it would be that good. No fucking idea at all.

She’s sleeping.

I went to the bathroom to clean up and came back to her gentle rhythmic breathing. The softness of it—of her skin, of her hair, of this moment—it makes me yearn for something I can’t name.

I tug the blankets from underneath her and cover her.

Alayna struggles to sit up.

“Sleep, precious.” I like the idea of her sleeping in my bed. Even though it’s not the bed I tend to spend many nights in. It almost bothers me to see her in this place where I’ve had other women. She seems out-of-place.

But where else would I have her? Certainly not at The Bowery where I live. I bring no one there. Still I can’t help but picture her in that bed…

The strange yearning is about to take over, and I refuse to let that happen. Though there’s a part of me that wants to explore it and study it the way I’ve studied and explored the emotions of others, I know this isn’t the time or the place to do so. It’s not fair to Alayna. I want her to come out of this unscathed, and these notions are not healthy for either of us.

I need to focus on that, focus on the real, and abandon thoughts of the impossible.

I brush a kiss on her forehead. “I need to order dinner. Chinese okay?”

“Sounds delicious.”

She stretches and her tits pop out from under the covers. They’re gorgeous and are distracting me from food, but Alayna works later and I need to take care of her. “I’ll call it in.”

I feel her eyes on me as I leave the room, and I very nearly let them pull me back to her. Except I’m a man of discipline. I can abstain from the things that I can’t have and Alayna Withers…I can only have her in this way—in measured doses. In fragments of time.

But when I am with her, I will be with her completely.

I make the call to the Chinese place on the corner. They’re on speed dial and know me well.

Then I take a few minutes to gather my thoughts, to remind myself of the games I’m playing and the games I refuse to play. When I return, I need to distance myself from her. This evening can’t be construed as anything but what it is—a simple fuck. She can’t believe there is anything more to my desire than that.

Because there’s not. I won’t let there be, no matter what ideas are shaping in my mind.

I collect the clothes we’d discarded earlier in the living room, not letting my mind recall the details of the hot memory. When I return to my room, she’s half-dressed. It should be a good thing—she understands exactly what this was supposed to be and she isn’t cleaving to the physical act, making it something meaningful, like most women would.

And I’m disappointed.

“You’re getting dressed?”

I’ve startled her. She covers herself with her arms, hiding from me. I don’t like her hiding.

But that’s not a fair thing to want. Not when I’m hiding. From everyone. From her.

Still, I can’t let her go.

I throw the shirt and tie onto the laundry basket and strike a stern pose. “Are you in a hurry to leave?” My gaze travels the length of her body—her well-toned legs, her trimmed pussy. My cock twitches with arousal.

She shivers and I wonder if she’s cold or if she can sense my want.

Then she looks away and I realize she has no idea how she affects me. It’s insane that a woman so intelligent can’t see the obvious.

“Guys don’t usually want me to hang around after sex,” she says.

I’m ripped apart by her words. “That statement brings up so many issues for discussion that I don’t know where to begin.”

She’s perfect and men have turned her away? I step toward her on impulse. “What is wrong with men to not…?” I can’t finish the statement. Because I should be turning her away. Because sentences like that are too close to sharing emotions. Because thinking of her with other men makes my gut twist.

Yet, I have to say something. “Alayna, please don’t group me with other guys you know. I’d like to think I’m not like most of them. And I don’t want to know or think about you having sex with other men. I don’t share.”

She doesn’t meet my eyes, but I can tell she likes what I’ve said.

“That sounds awfully relationship-y to me. I thought you didn’t do relationships,” she says as she tugs on her shorts.

It’s not a challenge—she’s feeling out the boundaries of what’s going on with us. I admire her for that. “I don’t do romantic relationships. Sexual relationships are another thing entirely. Why are you getting ready to leave?”

She reaches for her shirt, but I beat her to it. “Stop,” I say, holding her shirt out of her reach. I put my finger under her chin, tilting her to meet my eyes. It’s an intimate gesture—almost too intimate. Lost in her eyes, I say the words I shouldn’t but that can’t bear to be held inside. “I want you to stay.” I add my addendum so that my plea doesn’t get misconstrued—by her or by me. “And, if you are so inclined, I’d prefer that you not be dressed.”

She’s stubborn. Or cautious. “You’re dressed.” She crosses her arms over her chest again and thrusts out her lip in such a way that it takes all my energy not to lean forward and nibble on it.