placement, the whole nine yards. She’d gotten into college on an academic scholarship and frustrated her friends, what few there were, by her ability to breeze through classes with little studying, and less preparation.

She’d graduated in the top two percent of her class, with honors, but at that point in her life, she hadn’t cared. She’d tossed her rolled up diploma into a basket in her room at her parent’s house, and spent an entire weekend so drunk she still had no recollection of it.

Then she’d gone out into CAS and found the first job that would pay her enough to cover the monthly payments on a car, rather than just her junk food budget, and spent her free hours under water, away from everything.

Alone.

Kerry stirred, shifting a little. She lifted her head and looked up.

”Hey?”

Dar exhaled, and gave her a fond look. ”Hmm?”

”Why are you still up?” Kerry rested her chin on Dar’s breastbone.

”Do you want some hot milk?” Her dreams had nudged her uneasily awake.

A quiet smile, as Dar rubbed her arm lightly. ”No, I was just thinking, that’s all.”

”Mm, ’bout what?”

Dar hesitated, then shrugged, pursing her lips a bit. ”Nothing really concrete, my folks, a little bit about school.” She moved a stray lock of hair out of Kerry’s eyes. ”Go on back to sleep, you looked so peaceful.”

Kerry considered her words. ”I wasn’t really fond of school,” she commented. ”I wasn’t that good at it, except stuff like English,” she admitted. ”I belonged to a lot of clubs, Key club, Young Republicans, that kind of thing.”

Dar smiled. ”You were a Young Republican?” she queried. ”I think the only club I ever joined was um...” She thought. ”Some jock club or other. I was on a lot of sports teams in high school.”

”Oh, gee, there’s a surprise.” Kerry grinned at her, then her expression faltered. ”Not me. I wanted to play softball, but...” She paused in memory, then sighed. ”I probably would have sucked at it anyway.” Her mother had been horrified at the very thought. ”I got stuck with golf.”

”I’m sure you wouldn’t have,” Dar objected, mildly. ”You’ve got good eye hand coordination, and a nice running style. You’d have been fine,” she analyzed. ”I never had the damn patience for golf. How in the hell did you stand it?”

Kerry peered at her in silence, then she let out a quiet breath. ”Do you know something, Dar?” she stated softly. ”Do you want to know when the very first time was that I was told I was capable and intelligent?”


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231

The blue eyes peered at her in puzzlement. ”Sure.”

”You should know,” Kerry told her. ”You wrote it, in an email.”

Dar stared at her in shocked silence.

”And you hardly knew me. You’d met me for what, a half an hour?” Kerry shifted, propping her head up on her fist. ”Even the bosses at Associated, I mean, sure, I was always spoken of as a hard worker, a nice girl, always on time, but despite what Robert said, the only reason I got that job was because the guy in there before me left with the accountant’s wife in the middle of the night, and they needed someone real fast, and real accessible.”

”That’s not true, Kerry. You were an excellent director. Your personnel record carried the highest recommendations in it,” Dar argued. ”You’re highly skilled, highly motivated, very intelligent, and...and...”

Kerry gazed at her wistfully.

”And adorable,” Dar finished, having run out of professional descriptives. ”Don’t tell me that’s why you decided to come work for me, because I stated the obvious?”

A soft sigh. ”It might have been obvious to you, but it sure wasn’t obvious to me,” Kerry admitted. ”I had a mental note somewhere to say thank you for that, by the way. I think you were the first person in my life who just took me at face value, and didn’t assume I was some fluffball muffinhead who got the job because of my father.”

She reflected. ”Even Robert, who liked me, when he put me in as manager, he told me he didn’t expect much, just that I should try to keep things going until he could find a real director.”

Dar watched her, stunned. ”You’re serious,” she muttered.

A slow nod. ”What did you see in me Dar, that no one else did?”

Kerry wondered aloud.

Dar actually reached up and slapped her own head. ”Okay, for starters, you had guts,” she spluttered. ”And, and you held yourself together in a very stressful situation, and you came up with some very good, and very intelligent plans for the takeover, and, and you told me to go to hell, for chrissake. Do you know how many people have done that and gotten away with it?”

”Not many, huh?” Kerry was guiltily soaking up the praise like a sponge.

”Try one.” Dar hitched herself up and regarded her lover. ”Listen, I know talent when I see it. It’s part of my job, Kerry, and believe me, my talent meter went off the scale when I saw you,” she sighed, perplexed.

”Good grief, Ker. You’d think I hired you because I had the hots for you or something.”

An awkward silence fell, as Kerry’s eyes dropped to the comforter, the sudden strike at her own hidden insecurities going home with a vengeance. ”I...”

Dar felt her heart drop. ”You didn’t think that,” she questioned 232

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softly. ”Kerry? Look at me.”

Fearful green eyes slowly lifted to hers.

”Kerry, I hired you because I thought you would be a tremendous asset to me, and an excellent assistant,” Dar told her gently. ”And I was very, very right. What would make you think otherwise?” She felt a little bewildered.

Kerry’s eyes dropped again. ”I, I don’t know,” she confessed softly.

”Maybe because I’ve been told all my life that’s how things work.” Her eyes crept up Dar’s still body. ”You don’t get things because you work hard, or because you deserve them. You get them because someone pays for them, or because someone wants something from you.”

Dar looked stricken. ”Kerry.”

”I know.” Kerry let her head fall and rest against Dar’s skin. ”I know. My head knows, and god, my heart knows differently, Dar, but sometimes, sometimes I look in the mirror, and I can’t help thinking, why me?” She lifted her head. ”It’s like I’m in a fairy tale, and one day a wicked witch is going to wave her wand, and I’ll be back home, or you’ll get t...tired of me, or...” She blinked her eyes, and tears hit Dar’s shoulder. ”I can’t help it.”

Dar exhaled in dismay, understanding a little more about her lover.

”Kerry.” She cupped the smaller woman’s cheek, seeing the glittering tears. ”I meant those words, and I promise you, I promise you, I’ll always be here for you, no matter what,” she reassured her. ”I will never leave you.”

”What if I screw up at work?” Kerry asked. ”What if I can’t do this?””Sweetheart, I don’t give a damn,” Dar told her. ”If you want to quit, and do nothing but sell seashell futures over the Internet from the condo, that’s more than okay by me. Are you really worried about it?

You do a fantastic job.”

”I don’t want to ever disappoint you,” Kerry whispered.

Dar tucked the blonde head against her chest and hugged her. ”You won’t.”

Kerry rested there for a moment. ”Sorry,” she finally muttered.

”I’m not sure where that little bout of insecurity came from.” She played with the edge of Dar’s sleep shirt. ”In the middle of the damn night, too.””It’s all right.” Dar rubbed gentle circles against her back, willing her pounding heart to slow. ”We’ve both been through some rough times.”

Kerry nodded. ”I know. It makes it very hard to trust this doesn’t it?” She gently returned to her position, curling an arm back around Dar’s belly.

”Yes, it does,” Dar admitted, circling her with both arms and pulling her closer. ”But we’ll get through it.”

Kerry relaxed against her. ”Together,” she added quietly.

”Always,” Dar confirmed.


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233

“BRR.” DAR SNUGGLED further down into the covers, giving the early morning light an evil look. ”It’s cold out there.” She glanced at the thermostat, then back at her trying not to giggle bedmate. ”We forgot to turn the heater on.”

”You are such a wuss.” Kerry butted her head into Dar’s chest, then she rolled onto her back. ”All right. I guess I have to prove my northern roots and get up to turn the heat on.” She ducked out from under the covers and winced as her feet hit the cold floor. ”Yow.” She scampered across the surface and got to the thermostat, tossing it up into the broil range, then bounded back and hopped into bed like a large, blonde kangaroo. ”Yikes, that is cold.”

”Hah hah.” Dar grinned. Then she relented and tossed the covers around Kerry, pulling her back into a pocket of wonderfully Dar smelling warmth. ”Thanks.”

”Ungh.” Kerry ducked her head under the blanket and deliberately snuck her chilled hands under Dar’s shirt, grinning as she felt the taller woman’s gasp. ”Heh, you’re nice and warm.” She gently tweaked the skin under her fingertips.

”Yeah, except for these blocks of ice up against my stomach.” Dar gave her a mock glare, now very wide awake. ”How did you get so cold in that short a time?”

Kerry shrugged, snuggling closer. ”Heat all rushed to my brain, I guess, to keep me from plowing into the window.”

She yawned,

making a soft, squeaking noise. ”So, a little riding, then some sailing, right?” She found herself really looking forward to the day.

”Breakfast first,” Dar corrected. ”Millie makes the best cheese grits I’ve ever had.”

”Cheese grits,” Kerry sighed. ”That ranks where on the health meter, between munching on a solid stick of butter and swallowing chocolate syrup?” Sometimes she seriously wondered how Dar had actually lived as long as she had, and was in the physical condition she obviously was. Maybe her chemistry burned things differently or something. ”Jesus.”

Dar chuckled softly, used to the woebegone protests by now. ”I think they serve a sprig of parsley with them if it makes you feel better,” she replied innocently. ”Besides, you like them,” she reminded her lover.

Green eyes peeked warily up from the dark recesses of the comforter. ”You are a bad influence,” Kerry informed her. ”You tricked me into liking them.”

”You’re the one who brought home Snowballs for dinner the other night,” Dar teased Kerry, who tickled her in revenge. ”Hey!”

”Like I had a choice?” Kerry persisted, finding a good spot just under Dar’s ribcage that was making her squirm. ”It was either that, or eat ‘The Eggs from the Black Lagoon’, and ‘Son of Maybe it Once was Bacon, but now, who knows?’” she shuddered. ”Believe me, the mystery 234

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crème in the snowballs was much safer.”

Dar was laughing helplessly. ”Okay, okay, I give up, you win.” She draped her arms over Kerry’s body and exhaled, watching the rising sun inch its way into the window. The gentle, pink beams were broken by the leaves outside, and they laid an intricate pattern over the blankets. ”Nice day out.”

Kerry burrowed up a little, and peeked at the window. ”Mm, yeah, this is going to be fun.” She looked up at Dar with a frank, happy grin.

”I haven’t been riding for years. I hope I remember how.”

Dar gave her a squeeze. ”Don’t worry, it comes back to you,” she promised. ”They’ve got a nice string of horses here, only one or two meanies.”

”One or two, huh?” Kerry eyed her speculatively. ”Let’s see.” She raised a hand to her head and pressed her fingers to her temple, then closed her eyes. ”My psychic ability is telling me those are the ones you pick.” One green orb opened, and its brow tilted up. ”Yes?”

Dar let out a low, throaty chuckle, and rewarded her with a sexy grin. ”Very good, Madame Poo Poo.” She inclined her head in agreement. ”Hey, I can get you a 900 number for the office, make you a profit center. How about it?”

Kerry laughed. ”Oh yeah. I can see that.” Operations and Prognostication, Stuart speaking,” she mimicked herself, rolling her eyes when Dar started laughing too. ”I’d be a real hit in Sales meetings.”

”Nah,” Dar disagreed. ”What would they do with their Ouija board, and the eight ball José keeps stuffed up his butt?”

”Oh god, that's bad. What a visual picture.” Kerry winced, covering her eyes. ”Ewww...ew... Dar, gross. I need to flush my cache.”

”Here.” Dar fished her out of the covers, and pulled her up, kissing her soundly. The contact continued past where she’d intended, and after a long moment they broke off and looked at each other, panting a little. ”Better?” Dar asked, on an irregular breath.