and Jess had skipped down one of the narrow brick paths singing 'We're off to
see the Wizard'. She chuckled remembering.
"What's so funny?" Sam asked. They were in the back seat of Jess's Durango
heading back to Sam's apartment.
"I was just remembering your and Jess's little impromptu song this afternoon. I
can't remember the last time I laughed so much in one day." Riley told Sam her
eyes sparkling.
Knowing Riley's history Sam vowed to herself right then to make sure Riley had
lots more days filled with laughter. She leaned down and gently kissed Riley's
lips. The passion flared between them and the kiss deepened. Both women
quickly forgot where they were. Sam pressed Riley back into the seat kissing her
passionately. Her hands came up to caress Riley's breasts. Jess glanced into
the rear view mirror and saw the two women.
"Alright none of that you two. I'm shocked." She teased.
Kim looked back as Sam pulled away from Riley. Riley caught Kim's eyes and
blushed.
She couldn't help chuckling. "Leave them alone Jess. Do I need to remind you
about the incident in the ER lounge?"
Sam was surprised to see her sister blush. "Oh... this is gonna be good." She
said rubbing her hands together in anticipation.
Jess looked pleadingly over at Kim. She just laughed. "Some other time." She
told a disappointed Sam.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
They'd stopped on the way home and picked up Chinese food. They sat on the
floor in Sam's living room with the food spread across the coffee table. Riley had
finally relaxed around Kim and Jess; as the day had worn on the easy
camaraderie she'd felt with them in the hospital returned. Unbeknownst to her,
Jess had still had her reservations about Riley but her coming out to her uncle
and outing herself at work had allayed quite a few of Jess's fears. She watched
with a smile as Riley fed Sam a piece of shrimp. Sam was grinning like an idiot.
Jess had never seen her sister so smitten with anyone. It looked good on her.
"So Sam, what happened with the doctor? Did you get cleared?" Jess inquired.
Jess knew immediately she'd said something wrong as a look of total panic
crossed Sam's face. Riley had seen the look as well.
"What doctor? Did you get cleared for what?" she asked in concern.
This was it. The moment Sam had been dreading. She really had planned on
telling Riley she'd been cleared to return to work but had pushed it to the back of
her mind and conveniently forgotten.
"To go back to work." Sam said softly.
Riley had a flashback of that horrible moment in the ER when Sam's body
slammed into hers and she realized Keith had shot her. Then she saw Sam lying
in her arms as her blood seeped out between her fingers. Her face went ashen
and her stomach lurched. She jumped up from the floor mumbling excuse me,
before running from the room. All three women jumped when the bathroom door
slammed shut.
"You didn't tell her!" Kim exclaimed in an accusing tone.
"I meant to, really I did. I just forgot."
Kim glared at Sam unbelievingly. Sam slowly got to her feet to follow Riley. Kim
got up and placed a restraining hand on her arm.
"Let me go talk to her."
"No, I need to explain. I just... I knew she wouldn't take it well. But I never meant
to keep it from her."
Kim was incredulous. "You knew she wouldn't take it well! Jess and I both know
how dangerous your job is, we've both see officers come into the ER, but Riley
has seen first hand just how dangerous it is. My God, Sam... she saw you shot!
How did you think she'd react? I'm petrified for you to go back to work, think how
Riley must feel. This isn't something you can just explain away."
Sam's shoulders slumped and she sank back down to the floor. Jess put her arm
around her sister consoling her.
Kim headed for the bathroom and Riley.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Kim knocked on the bathroom door. "Riley, its Kim, please let me in."
"I'll be out in a minute," came Riley's muffled reply.
Kim could tell she was crying. She tried the door handle; it was locked.
Riley stood gripping the counter trying to control her roiling stomach as the tears
poured down her face.
"Riley please open the door, I really need to talk to you."
Riley unlocked the door and walked away turning her back. Kim heard the lock
click and quietly opened the door. Riley stood next to the counter gripping it
tightly, her back to the door. Kim walked up behind her and put her hands on her
shoulders. Riley flinched then relaxed making no attempt to shrug off Kim's
touch. Kim could feel the tension in the muscles under her hands.
"She should've told you."
Riley didn't respond.
"She had every intention of telling you. She just kept putting it off...'cause she's
scared."
"She's scared!" Riley spun around to face Kim. "She's scared!" she repeated incredulously. "I saw her shot Kim; I felt her body slam into mine and held her in
my arms as her blood ran onto the floor."
Riley couldn't hold back any longer she began to sob. Kim wrapped her arms
around Riley pulling her into her arms. Riley buried her head in Kim's neck as
her whole body shuddered with the force of her tears. Kim stroked Riley's back
trying to calm her. It took quite a while but Riley's tears finally trailed off. She
pulled back from Kim embarrassed. Kim offered her some Kleenex and then
ignoring her protests pulled her back into her arms. Riley relaxed gratefully
accepting the comfort Kim offered.
"I know this is going to be hard to hear but I'm going to tell you anyway. I'll admit
I'm petrified that Sam is going back to work but Riley it's who she is. She loves
being a cop and she's a damn good one. She was scared to tell you because
she feared your reaction. Right now you're wondering if you made a big mistake
getting involved with Sam and are considering breaking it off." Riley flushed
guiltily. "That's what she feared Riley; that you would decide you didn't want to
be involved with a cop." Kim hoped she wasn't making a mistake in what she
was about to tell Riley but she needed her to understand. "Sam cares deeply for
you; if you walk away now Riley it'll kill her."
Riley looked up into Kim's eyes sympathetic blue eyes. "I know. She told me she
loves me and that she'd never been in love before." It was Kim's turn to be
shocked. If Sam had admitted her love to Riley, it was a much more serious
situation than she'd thought.
"I love her too Kim, but I don't know if I can do this. I don't know if I can watch
her walk out the door every morning and not know if she's coming back."
Kim hugged Riley tight. It was a truth that'd been driven home to everyone when
Sam was shot. On any given day, they could get a phone call like the one they
had when Keith shot her. Only this time she might not be so lucky. Kim knew you
couldn't let the 'what ifs' run your life or you'd be paralyzed. You had to live each
day as it came.
"I can't say I wouldn't feel the same if I'd seen what you did. But, let me ask you
this. Can you really envision your life without Sam in it, for however much time
you get? None of us knows what tomorrow may bring. Can you really just walk
away?" Kim questioned.
Riley began to cry again. "That's the worse part. It's already too late. I can't
imagine going back to the existence I led before I met Sam. That's all I was
doing existing. I love her so much... why does she have to be a cop?" Riley cried
in anguish.
Kim tightened her arms around Riley, trying to console her. "It's who she is...you
knew that all along, even if you didn't want to admit it to yourself. It's part of what
attracts you to Sam and makes her the woman you love."
They were interrupted by a soft knock on the door. Sam had stayed away as
long as she could. She had to see Riley.
"Riley, I'm sorry Baby. I was going to tell you... I swear. Please come out." Sam pleaded through the door. Kim stepped away from Riley and moved toward the
door. She stopped with her hand on the knob waiting Riley's permission. Riley
nodded her head slightly. Kim opened the door and stepped out. Sam pushed
past her and rushed into the bathroom. Riley fell into her arms crying. Sam
wrapped Riley in a tight embrace.
"I'm so sorry I didn't tell you. I was scared how you'd react. It'll be okay, I
promise. I always wear my vest and I'm very careful. Most officers spend their
whole careers on the force having never been shot. I've got mine out of the way
now." She said trying to lighten the mood.
"When are you going back?"
Sam swallowed heavily before answering. "Tomorrow. I'll be on desk duty for
about a week while I do some re-qualification. Then after that I'll take up my
normal schedule."
Riley clutched Sam tightly as her panic surged. Sam's biggest concern was
Riley's fear would drive her away. She tipped up Riley's face meeting her panic-
stricken eyes. She gave voice to her greatest fear.
"Please don't leave me."
Riley's heart clenched at the naked fear in Sam's eyes. Here was a woman
who'd stood facing down a man holding a gun with calm confidence yet Sam's
fear was plain to see at the thought of Riley leaving her.
"I'm not going anywhere Sam. I love you. You just have to give me some time to
adjust. I'm terrified of you going back to work."
Sam pulled Riley off her feet, wrapping her arms around her and hugging her
tightly. Nothing mattered beyond the, I love you. Everything else they'd work out.
"Sam... Sam," Riley gasped in Sam's tight embrace. "You're crushing me
Honey."
Sam blushed, quickly setting Riley back on her feet. She leaned down to brush a
gentle kiss across Riley's lips. "So we're OK?"
Riley snuggled against Sam's chest. "Yes, we're OK, but..." She poked Sam in
the ribs sharply. Sam yelped staring down at Riley in surprise. "Don't ever keep
something that important from me again."
"I won't, I promise." Sam offered contritely.
Kim and Jess were curled up together on the couch when the two women
reappeared. Kim had filled Jess in on what had transpired in the bathroom. Jess
still couldn't believe her sister had admitted to Riley she was in love with her.
Jess prayed the two women could work things out. Sam's arm was wrapped
around Riley's shoulders holding her tight. She took that as a good sign.
"Everything alright?" Jess asked.
Sam looked down at Riley her eyes filled with love. "Yeah, everything is going to
be just fine."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Sam sat outside the station house. It was her first day back at work. She was
excited and happy to be returning to work but just couldn't get the image of Riley
standing at the door of her condo out of her mind. She'd spent the night at
Riley's. When they'd gotten up that morning, she knew Riley was upset and
scared about her going back to work but Riley had done her best to put up a
good front. That lasted until Sam was ready to leave. As they stood at the front
door, Riley had wrapped her arms tightly around Sam and her tears had started
to flow. That was the image Sam couldn't seem to shake; of Riley, standing in
the doorway with tears running down her face as she walked away. She didn't
know what to do to ease Riley's mind. After leaving Riley's condo, she'd headed
home to change into her uniform. Shaking her head and sighing in frustration,
she headed into the station. Her hand went to her empty holster. She felt strange
without her weapon.
"Hey Sam. Welcome back!" Greeted the desk sergeant. "I've got you set up later this morning to re-qualify at the range; your weapon is in the armory."
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